Episode 8: Bloodlust
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Announcement
TW: Implied Abuse, Child Abuse 

That year passed quickly with Section Commander Lena teaching you her very own ODM maneuvering techniques, and because of your "System" cheat engine, you were able to progress much faster to Lena's surprise. While Jina will have to keep visiting Lena for more pointers although she's slowly getting there. As you were enjoying your breakfast with your friends before training, a Cadet Corps officer came looking for you. "Eve Cromwell! Is there anyone that goes by Eve Cromwell around here?" 

"That's me, sir!" You say as you walk towards the officer giving him a salute. Acknowledging your amicable behavior he nodded giving you a letter. "I was told this came from your family Nielss Cromwell." You took the letter from his hands, recognizing the handwriting from your father. The crisp feeling of the paper reminded you of home from this strange world you're in. It was warm and welcoming. "Thank you, sir!" You said enthusiastically playing every bit of the soldier role you were given. 

Kate walked up to you curious about the letter in your hands as she hung her arms over your shoulder. "Quick, what does it say?" She smiled, you never knew she had this side of her eager for gossip. You walked back to the table where you were eating earlier with your friends and sat down while you opened the letter. Kayle's eyes shot up as he saw you had received a letter, "Oh you got word from your family? That sounds nice." He says curious about what the letter says. It's not every day they get to receive letters from their families and something about someone you know receiving a letter just piques your curiosity. You try to scan the letter first before reading it in a low voice to avoid blurting out any embarrassing details about yourself or your family. "Ehh?!" You scurried to reread it over again careful that you must've misread the letter.

[I hope this letter finds you well my daughter, it's been a while. Your mother and I have missed you greatly. The house became quiet without your fussing. The vineyard had been yielding great harvests this past year and I tried making my own wine as well. After making many batches only then I was able to make a good match although it hasn't aged quite well yet, it has the most sweetest and delicious wine you'll have once it aged nicely. I'm finally seeing a brighter future in the wine-making business.

Dear child, should ever the military tire you out, you can rest here at home. You won't have to worry. I'll teach you how to make that delicious wine. You don't have to worry about moving to Wall Rose for a better life there. We'll be able to live a stable life and we won't have to miss you, here at home. Plus, we have more good news, you're mother is with child. You'll be an older sister soon. Your mother would love it if you could visit. She misses you dearly and who knows you might be able to hold your baby sister or baby brother. ]

They've been busy alright. You thought as you clicked your tongue but then smiled. I'm gonna have a baby sister... or a brother. You're happy that they're all doing so well. "What does it say?" Kate insists. Jina only looks at you with sheer curiosity only shy to pry on your letter. "The vineyard is doing well and I'll be an older sister soon." You say with a warm smile. "That's great! You'll make a strong reliable one-chan." Kate smiles as she slaps your back while Jina nods in agreement as she smiles softly. You can't deny that the family you had here are the only ones that made you feel so warm and so at ease. Like a light that guides you in this strange "fictional" world. "I guess I now have to work harder." You say with a smile. "Eh? But aren't you already strong?" Kayle interjects he was sure you were already working hard just like the rest of the cadets and you say that you're gonna work harder? That's insane. 

Although you can't quite accept that they still don't want to move to Wall Rose. You have to make them move even more than ever. But first, you have to buy them a house. You have to prepare even for at least their "vacation" here in Wall Rose. You concocted a plan to have your mother stay in Wall Rose for a "breath of fresh air" and for better doctors that she might need. And to also be able to see you graduate in the Cadet Corps. An excuse your father will definitely accept than permanently moving to Wall Rose. You just have to time it perfectly before Wall Maria falls. Then you remember, Kate's family is also from Wall Maria. Your eyes widen and you turn to Kate. "Kate, uh didn't you say your family is from Wall Maria?" "Uh yeah, what about it?" Kate asks curious about why you'd pose such a query. "Well, I'm just thinking it'd be nice if we could move the vacation we planned before probably in the winter of year 844 until the summer of 845." You say oddly specific about the time. Kate's brows twist in confusion before asking, "Oh yea, that! Sure! Why that specific time though," She asks curious about what you'd pull off this time. "I was thinking that my family should get a vacation here in Wall Rose, watch us graduate and all before my mother gives birth. It'd be nice if we could all get a little celebration of sorts," You say unsure about your impromptu plan sweat beads roll down on your temples. "Yea, sure! I'll write them in my letters. Not sure about the time though." She says relaxed, ignorant of the tragedy only you know about. You were about to say it to Kate, to warn her but it's all going to sound like crazy talk especially since you have no evidence to back it up. So all you can do is "save" them with lies and deception. 

You had an upright and uptight personality in your past life so lying about something as serious as this, makes your heart twinge a bit. But this is all you can do. This, or being known as a lunatic, and in turn possibly derail your future plans.

You proceed to your usual training and lecture routines while you escort Jina to Section Commander Lena's office to watch her train. You can't help but be in awe of Jina's progress so far. You knew deep down you wouldn't be able to reach her progress if not for the "System" you had right now. You sighed in contentment as you watched her become stronger and stronger.

"By the way ma'am." You ask Section Commander Lena, "Is there any paid work a cadet like me can do?" You ask and Lena just gave a small laugh. "Well there are office jobs in the Cadet Corps but they don't really pay much." She says. Well, it's no surprise considering the skill level of a cadet is not much worth paying for. "What do you need the money for?" She asks now curious about what pushed you to this decision. The cadets are being fed and given shelter just fine. A lover perhaps? Not likely. Lena thought you don't seem the type to have any lovers. Family? That's likely the case. "Well, I wanted to help my family get a long vacation here in Wall Rose." You say shyly scratching the back of your head. Seemingly able to understand the meaning behind your words, Lena closed her eyes as she sipped her tea. She had a rough idea of what work to put you in but that may violate a few rules since you are but a cadet. "Well, I may have a work for you. But it's nothing legal. Are you up for it?" She finally spoke and your eyes widened at her suggestion. Section Commander Lena doesn't look like someone who'd use under-the-table methods or any illegal decisions. At least that's what you know about her. As an aspiring police officer in your past life, just the mere thought of breaking the law like this makes you a bit hesitant. But here rests the life of your family and you can't risk that over your own ideals or values. You heaved a sigh before talking, "What's the work? How much is the pay?" You ask almost threatening being as straightforward as you can.

"You'll be paid handsomely. I'll hire you to work in the office, sometimes as a "volunteer" in expeditions and that would risk your life. Your identity as a cadet joining the expeditions is already a violation and you'll have to acknowledge that you're my apprentice. Only if you're willing," She trails off waiting for your response. It's a violation of the rules to have a cadet run on official missions and run on official documents in an official capacity. But for Lena, all it takes for her is to use her noble influence and announce that you are her apprentice of sorts, and a measly rule such as that won't be enough for them to pester her back for it.  Besides, she trusts that you'd be able to hold on your own with your current skill. 

You pondered for a moment, Lena as a teacher isn't really a bad thing in fact she's a good teacher. The only worry you have is about breaking the rules but if Lena says she can pull that off she's confident in offering you such a job. "Alright, I'll take it." Upon hearing you agreeing to this arrangement, Lena knew that it was not just a simple long vacation maybe a permanent one or something else entirely. Anyways as your mentor, she has every right to look and meddle in your affairs from here on. And from what she had observed from your interactions with your friends and towards her, you're never the kind to break a promise or an agreement. You've been on her watchlist this entire time after all.

"Alright, that's settled then. We'll have an expedition set in this week's time. I want you to keep training as usual but this time do your hardest. I want you up and prepared before then." She says in a calm voice, her expression serene. What, that fast? You thought. We'll more jobs the better. "Alright." You replied almost relaxed. "In the meantime, I'll ask Wittman to extend your work here under my supervision." She added this way she can work you to the bone without much suspicion from the Cadet Corps. She made a mental note to introduce you to Erwin as well. Her eyes glint with an undercurrent of excitement at the thought of being able to be one step ahead of Erwin in finding talents. That kid never learned to show respect to his seniors. Might as well be a tiny bit petty about it. Lena thought to herself as she smirked. She cleared her throat as she reverted back to her usual calm demeanor. A face she held up for times she was at work.

"Go on with your usual training for today for now." She then said snapping from her inner monologues. You only gave a salute as you walked away waiting for Jina to finish her training. 

I'll be facing titans soon, You thought with excitement you couldn't wait but increase your SP further! 

You and Jina walked together towards your dorm. You turn to a somber-looking Jina, "What's wrong?" You ask as you frown in concern. "I just can't seem to be improving as much." She says her hands clasped close to her chest. You sighed thinking why does she always see herself that way? She's not that weak anymore. "Jina, you're actually improving faster. What do you mean?" You say as you watch Jina look up to you in shock. "Really? It's just I... Section Commander Lena doesn't seem to be approving of my performance." Ahh, so that's how it is. You thought. "Section Commander Lena is just like that because she doesn't want us to get cocky and get reckless. You know how people get old and they suddenly become nitpicky about everything right?" You say with reason on your side. Jina pondered for a moment before replying. "You're right, it's just hard to gauge if I'm doing things right with her not saying anything." She replied her gaze in deep thought of herself. As perceptive as you are, "If you wanted compliments you could just ask me you know. I never lie when it comes to my compliments." You say teasing her with facts straight close to home. Jina can be a little timid and she'd need support in order to affirm herself that she's doing just fine and be confident. Jina looked at you embarrassed about being called out like that, her cheeks blushing. "No, I don't mean it like that." She then muttered. "I'm not a kid." Then pouted. How adorable. You thought. "How about this, I'll give you both sides of the coin." You began, Jina looked at you attentively. "Two sides of the coin?" She asked wondering about what you meant. "If you do good, I'll give you acknowledgment." You say changing the word compliment to a word that'll make her feel less childish. "But if you make mistakes, I'll give you harsh constructive criticism." You added with a grin hoping she would then finally believe that she's been improving. "Okay." She said not really still sure about the idea. "Thank you for comforting me." She said with a weak smile. You sigh, "I wasn't trying to comfort you... maybe I am but most of all I'm telling you the truth." You added.

The walk back to the dorm was just you and Jina talking about training and motivating each other.

*

Back then it was only Jina and the love her parents showed her. Her father was a merchant traveling between the walls while her mother worked at the Military Police Brigade. "Good job, Jina." "You're such a sweet child, Jina." "I love you, Jina." These were the words she knew of her parents. This was until her mother died of an unknown illness and her father had been grieving too hard to care for her. Jina grieved too, all that she could remember was her mother's eyes closing very slowly as her mother tried breathing desperately for life. Her mother passed on with such a serene look on her face, her last sigh as she held Jina's hands on her now cold hands. Jina would sometimes wake up looking for her mother only to be faced with the harsh reality that her mother is now long gone. Soon after, Jina's father married another woman from Wall Sina. Jina has yet to come to acceptance of her mother's death and her father's absence and then this. Her stepmother arrived at their doorstep with her daughter in tow. They look like every bit of a noble like she thought people from Wall Sina would. 

Since then, everything became a constant longing for her father's approval. To hear another "Great job," from her father, another "You're such a sweet child, Jina.", and another "I love you, my dear child, Jina." Something she never heard, ever since her stepmother came into their lives. Since then, it has become a norm in her life to do the chores at home and "help" them as deserving of a noble from Wall Sina would. She had been denied freedom since her stepmother arrived and this caused Jina to live a lonely life inside her own home. Until she decided she couldn't anymore. 

A child who is raised with love, will approach things and react to things with love. But a child denied of love will seek love outside its home, from other people. 

So the only way she thought she could gain love was to give love to her people. Despite the harsh treatment she had received, Jina's kind-heartedness won over her sufferings. And one way she found to give love to her people was to help mankind in its quest. Besides the obligatory appointment that the kingdom seeks from its people, she found it her purpose to seek strength to be able to give love and to protect that love. That's why Jina ended up enlisting in the Cadet Corps so that she'll be able to seek the strength to protect the love she'll receive and have it not taken away from her anymore the same way her mother was taken from her nor the same way her stepmother took her father away from her.

So when Jina heard that you received a letter from your family, she felt a bit envious but also happy. Happy that her friend grew up with the love that she had longed for. Jina had only remained silent with her usual smile since then. Well to her it's not so bad, her time with you and her friends had become most enjoyable just like the love she was longing to receive. Maybe this kind of love for my friends is really something worth protecting for. Jina thought. Seeing you and Kate become stronger and stronger only fueled her motivation to become stronger herself. So she trained nonstop. Pushed herself to her own limits as Section Commander Lena watched her closely.

"What are you trying so hard for?" She asked, her eyes ever perceptive, her voice always calm and serene. It's as if though Lena understood her motives with that question but to be asked like this in the open is a bit embarrassing. Jina got up from having to stumble and fail on her drills. "I want to protect my friends." She answered, a summary of all her motivations but that's not all. 

She's romanticized her people-pleasing habits. Section Commander Lena thought. Lena never liked people who put their everything into pleasing other people. She finds them weak and pitiful. This is why she's never letting up on training Jina to break those people-pleasing habits of hers the only way Lena knows. "If you keep up with that mindset it's just gonna get you hurt," Lena says as her eyes resemble wisdom and her voice serenity. "Do it again. I believe you can do it Jina."

And so begins the rigorous training sessions Section Commander Lena holds for Jina.

*

The winter of Year 840 is coming soon. So far you have yet to encounter titans as Section Commander Lena had just focused on teaching you various administration duties she has. You have this feeling she'll hand you over her position once she retires, but you don't want that! Her job involves numbers! A heck of them! Just then to your salvation, a Cadet Corps officer arrived at your dorm, announcing the next training you'll have besides the ones you're having now. 

This year's Cadet Corps batch must traverse the snowy mountains up in the north testing their endurance, determination, and survival skills. This will be the last phase of your training before graduation next year. "Wow, can you believe it?" Kayle said as he listened to the officer's announcement. "We'll be going to the mountains! Snowy mountains!" He added. For Kayle, he always loved the idea of going to the mountains. He always finds them majestic. Their towering figures reached the sky and a snowy one at that! "That does sound exciting!" Kate added her hometown is located near a mountain in Wall Maria. So the prospect of going to another mountain and possibly climbing it thrills her. It's a terrain she's used to after all. Jina agreed with a "Mm!" for someone who was confined within the walls of her home she had always wanted to look for the beautiful things outside.

Prior to your departure, you were trained to increase your stamina even further for the mountain's terrain. Of course, for Kate this is no big deal, it was just a cinch for her. In addition to that the lectures also involved navigating skills you must learn in the mountains. Three weeks passed by like that with continuous training. In all honesty, this was already taught to you in your first year, these were simple supplementary training to refresh your memory and pick up the cadets' morale to take the training in the mountains seriously.

*

You decided to visit Section Commander Lena first after you packed up your things. The ground had become cold so was the air. A sign that any time soon, the pretty snowflakes will start to fall. The vapor comes out as you breathe into the cold air. You feel as though the cold air had rendered your cadet uniform jacket quite useless, so you began wearing the standard cadet coat they handed over when autumn began. 

This is the period where everyone is preparing for this "hiking training" or at least that's what you'd call it in your modern language, completely innocent of what kind of training they'll put you through up in the mountains. Well, that's how you were able to slip by and ride on your horse. It did not take you too long to go visit Section Commander Lena. You've grown really strong thanks to her guidance. You know you could've gotten there on your own but her guidance really helped you get there saving you the fumbling and stumbling. Not to mention, because of the office work she's been putting you through you were able to get a bigger picture helping you adjust and navigate your way into this world. What if she knew I'm not from around here? You are justified to think that considering her guidance allowed you to go to where you wanted to be. But there's no way the people in the walls would know anything about the outside world, much less about you getting transmigrated here.

Wait...outside world?  There's an outside world beyond these walls?

You thought as you felt warm blood drip from your cold and pale skin. You wipe it and feel your head throbbing. It's as if this was information you already knew but is being constantly blocked from you. Your vision went blurry and everything fell into an eerie silence. You feel as though your head is being crushed by the weight of something including a familiar sensation of bloodlust. Your horse began whining as if restless as well from feeling your blood lust by its instinct. Your face warped into both pain and frustration as you keep the blood lust away from your mind and heart. You struggle to keep your balance on your horse as you try to keep your cool. You now feel the headache settle down. It's still there but tolerable. You've felt this before, back when you had just transmigrated but not like this. That terrible bloodlust is something you don't want to surface without control. Unless necessary. You don't want to accept it but you know deep down it's who you are even before you transmigrated. You try to calm down and temporarily get everything off your head. Going on a rampage is not what you need right now. Calm down. Calm down.

You breathed heavy sighs a time or two. And you've finally calmed down. That was not good. What if you were overcome with that blood lust all the while you're in that state? What if you could've hurt somebody? Or this poor horse you were riding on? You didn't want that. You know that you still value life after all even if that blood lust inside you says otherwise. Not the poor horse. You gently caress your horse as you nudge it to keep on forward to your destination. 

You arrived in Section Commander Lena's office. She's busy as ever in managing the financial affairs of the Survey Corps. You take a mental note to yourself that you should refuse if they tell you to inherit her position. You don't want to sit and spend your days in a cramped office 24/7 even more so if it involves sensitive numbers. You watch her write with a pained expression on her face, accentuating the wrinkles on the sides of her eyes even more.  She looks up to you as she notices your presence. "Oh Cromwell, is there anything I can help you, child?" She asks with a warm gentle tone. "Well, I'll be leaving soon for the mountains." You said, this woman literally raised you to be the soldier that you are now. Without realizing it she became the guardian, like a parent that you needed in this strange world. Another reminder that this world you live in is real and the people here are alive. They're not mere characters living in a fictional world. It gives you comfort and happiness that they are and that you're not insane, yet. You wanted to thank this woman for helping you become strong and for guiding you. "This will be the final phase of our training, the instructors said." You added. "So you came to bid me goodbye?" She smiled at you as she closed her eyes drinking her tea. "What a sweet child you are." She added and you smiled at her remark. "Thank you for teaching me and helping me become strong." You say your tone, sincere. 

"It's nothing, I've seen great potential in you. Although you might've gotten strong on your own. Keep doing your best, child." She says as she looks at you with a smile. She says that but she didn't give up teaching even a physically weak cadet like Jina. You thought as you smiled. "Now that reminds me, just a few months more and you'll be in your last year as a cadet." She says putting down her cup of tea. "Have you thought about which regiment to join in?" You pondered for a moment before answering. "I want to join the Survey Corps." You say curtly with enthusiasm. Of course, that's the regiment I wanted to join! For every fan of the Attack on Titan series, this is the obvious choice! Section Commander Lena only closed her eyes and nodded about your answer. "Alright, you have my blessing. Now go and show everyone the fruits of your training." She says with a small smile before her eyes turned serious all of a sudden, "But I will accept nothing less than the Top 3 rank you hear me? Your instructors already know that I am training you personally. Don't let me down, child." She says with a smirk on her face. Ah, am I seeing a glimpse of her true self? You thought smiling. The pride of a mentor must be swelling up inside her, of course, she wanted to flex the cadet she raised who she even taught her very own ODM maneuvering skill. You smiled back in confidence, "Yes, ma'am! I won't hold back at all!" You say with a salute. Now you had actual permission to give it all the worth of your stats. Just as you were about to leave, "Oh right, please tell Jina the same." She said with a warm smile. You just know what kind of expression Jina makes once she hears of this. "Yes ma'am." You say sheepishly.

*

You went back to your dorm and found Jina packing up. She already wore her coat as she packed the last of her belongings. "Oh Eve, where have you been?" She asked. Jina had been wondering where have you been when it'll just be a few hours before you guys have to leave. "Ah, I bid Section Commander Lena goodbye for a bit." You say with a small smile now that you mention it you did forget to bring Jina with you. You have been occupied with your thoughts after all. "Eh?! And you didn't tell me to come with you?" Jina exclaimed feeling betrayed. "No worries, ma'am Lena already told me to tell you that you must do your best. She's expecting a lot from us." You say giving Jina a summary of what ma'am Lena said. "Ah is that so? I guess it's just a bit more until we graduate huh?" Jina said cementing that knowledge into the both of you that it'll be soon and you all will start working your careers already. "Yea, it's been a while since then." You say, your gaze softening. "Have you decided which regiment to join yet?" You added. With Jina's skills, she might just be more fit to be a cartographer, finance, or technical department. "Not yet," She says her gaze cast down. "But I'm thinking maybe the Garrison Regiment." She added and you nodded in satisfaction. Not to degrade her skills in ODM maneuvering but you just think people like Jina who are soft-hearted to a fault are better placed in less violent places.

You and Jina then got both of your belongings to head out to the dorm lobby. You spotted your journal you almost forgot and tucked it safely in the pockets of your coat. You then closed the door behind you as you and Jina left the now-cold dorm room. You walked out to the lobby to find Kayle and Kate waiting for you their belongings sitting in one place. The lobby is crowded with other cadets as well and they all wait for Instructor Wittman to arrive. The fireplace warming up the room is such a cozy contrast to the falling snow that began outside the window. "Took you too long Eve," Kate said, motioning you to sit beside her. "Here I saved you a seat." Just as you and Jina are about to take a seat, Instructor Wittman arrives wearing his own Cade Corps officer coat.

"Alright, cadets! Get in the formation line outside!" As soon as the utterance was finished you did not hesitate to get in the formation line, you noticed that the other cadets did not waste a second as well. You get in the formation line, with your bag on your back standing straight and snappy just like the rest of the cadets. Even in your past life, something satisfying looks whenever you see yourself along with the others in a neat formation line. "Listen up!" Instructor Wittman yells at the cadets in front of him with such a menacing glare.  "This training will take two phases and nearly six months upon completion. We will set up camp in the mountains and that will be our lodgings. The first is an excursion to the snowy mountains. The goal is you all must survive by yourselves trekking around the mountains and circling back to the camp. You will have to hunt by yourselves, feed yourselves, and bear the cold yourselves. If you, cadets can't survive that, then you won't even survive the titans anyway. The second phase will be held after the winter ends and that will include a boring riding exercise!  You cadets will be divided equally into two groups, both will ride in opposite directions towards the same endpoint completing a full circle of the exercise. As they ride, the group will record everything that has happened. By I mean everything, I mean every single thing! Once the two groups rendezvous, they will exchange information they gathered along the way and ride back to the camp using the opposite group's route." He announced informing the cadets of what kind of training that's about to come. Realizing something familiar, you remembered that the series included something like this. With the purpose and goal of each phase in mind, you now know what to do to pass them with flying colors.

"Alright, that's all cadets! Maintain the formation as you reach the stables!" He added as he ordered you all. You then begin riding your horse as the Cadet Corps officers lead you and the rest of the cadets toward the training camp that will be held in the mountains.

Year 840

Status: (Eve)

STR: 123
AGI: 70
DEX: 96
HP: 60/60
CONCENTRATION: 70
LEADERSHIP: 29
DEF: 20

Status: (Jina)

STR: 42
AGI: 37
DEX: 40
HP: 100/100
CONCENTRATION: 59
LEADERSHIP:36
DEF: 30

1[Note: An average soldier's stats would range from 30-40 while a normal man's stats would range from 10-29. Common stat limit 100.]

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