Patron of July 2020

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 (Frede) (Veronica)

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 (L.C) (Thronedplatypus) 

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 (Jen C.) (Katherine)

Episode 127- Nightmare in Reality ‘Promise of forever’

Last Chapter: Eugene steps on everyone’s down there savagely. Commander Kal’s face got burnt by a corrosive chemical which Eugene presume is her blood.

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His dream...

I did not believe in love at first sight until I met her.

Women's outer appearances were admired and adored by those around me. They insisted that this was the only thing that mattered, and that capable women did not exist. These values caused these same people whose love was as fickle as crackers to crumble. Their love and marriage never lasted. Though they were older than me, they were not wiser than I… was what I thought.

Then, I met a girl with a look that men adore.  I too was affected by her and became one of these 'fickle' me. I became one of 'those' men who get captivated by women's appearances. I became a man who was fascinated by appearances. Her beauty stemmed from her inner core and shone brightly through her eyes. It was really beautiful.

The girl was a sweet and intelligent woman who showed herself through unique ways and creative ways. It was as if her arms could wrap around the souls of everyone in the world, particularly those in need of love.

I am a soul that belongs to this world but I am also an outsider whose soul wasn’t needed in this country.

“Brother Hal, Brother Hal...”

I loved my name that rolled from her cute lips. Her gentle voice that called my name always manages to scratch the inside of my heart. It was a soft feeling I cherish and hold on to.

But I also had enough of it.

There was one day when I escaped from these emotions that had overwhelmed me. These feelings that threatened to overfill, scared me so. I got far enough so that she could not reach or find me.  In relief, I allowed myself to lower my guard and took a nap.

It was a shock. I was greeted with a pan-in-face of the goddess of my heart when I opened my eyes after a restful sleep. It was a WTF moment that paralyzed me. The beautiful soul I escaped from.  The beautiful goddess of my heart that I had escaped from. I froze for real because it felt as if my body had been cut off from blood circulation.

-Badum- -Badum-

I have always known that her eyelashes were beautiful, and at that moment, I could count how many eyelashes she had. But it was a pity that her beautiful eyes were slightly reddened and damp.

I'd always found her eyelashes lovely, and at the moment, I could count how many eyelashes she had. Regrettably, her lovely eyes were slightly reddened and moist. It was a shame.

‘Moist?’

It was then that blood began to circulate in my brain, and I realized that our usual long distances had been reduced to almost nothing. My lips felt warm, soft, like the marshmallow candy she gave me, and a honey-dew perfume wafted to my nose.

The peck lasted a long time before she backed away slightly. Her saddened eyes fixed on my lips for a few moments before she caught me staring at her.

“!!”

“....”

The beautiful meadow I escaped to, was suddenly more beautiful when she arrived. Her red hair was softly swirling in the breeze, and her cheeks were slightly flushed.

She was flustered.

I could see her shyness, embarrassment, and her eyes screaming for her to escape from this angle. It was too cute that I started laughing.

"Hahaha!"

The laugh didn't sit well with her. As soon as I laughed, her eyes were filled with mild anger, so I shut my mouth and stayed still. During the silence, I began to think about why I had run away in the first place. And I think I understood why at that moment.

It was because she, like me, couldn't contain her emotions any longer. Though I lost track of when her eyes began to see me differently, I could see that she, too, saw me as a man like how I saw her as a woman. It was because of that that I had bolted. Because it was impossible between us.

Her sweet adorable face did not hide her feelings well. Her pain and desire for love were visible in the creases of her eyes. Unlike the cowardly me who ran, she was facing me head-on with all her might. And the hopeless grief in her eyes pierced my heart.

I was the cause of her hurt.

Her gentle voice jolted me awake once more, “Brother Hal.” As if her nails had scratched my heart, a passion that could no longer be extinguished burst.

Not waiting for her next words, I drowned in that passion. My right arm grabbed her head and pulled her down to meet my lips. In that sweet passion, millions of thoughts went through my mind and hers.

Our intertwined lips danced beautifully and synchronized with each other. I was shocked a second time. She wasn’t a coward and a naive gentle lady I thought she was as her tongue suddenly engulfed me whole.

“!!”

Her primal desire and her raw feelings all poured into me. And that's when I finally surrendered.

Through this passion and realness of our desires for one another, our hearts and souls connected and within this connection, it made a promise. A promise to love one another, to face our harsh reality together, and to be together forever.

When our lips parted, a clear translucent liquid held us connected. No one flushed in embarrassment. Her bright orbs showed the will to fight for ‘us’ together until the end. Her eyes showed confidence and the unwillingness to give up and with, I confessed my heart to her.

“I love you, Lea.”

The moment those words left my lips, tears fell from her eyes. They were tears of happiness and joy.

“I love you, Lea. I’ve loved you since I first saw you.”

Her cheeks tinted red, she was very lovable.

“You’re so beautiful.” She is so beautiful that I couldn’t help myself from stealing her lips once again.

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After showering Lea with more affection, I returned with her. As we were about to reach the city we lived in, we found a boy leaning against a large tree. He was reading a book he held in his hands as if waiting for someone to return. That, someone, was Lea, a childhood friend of his.

Lea let go of my hands and ran to him,  “Brother Kal!” she yelled out happily as she dashed to the boy.

The boy, Kal, glanced up indifferently. Only I saw his eyes showing her with love. His eyes showed the same love I had for Lea which was how I recognized them.

He greeted her in return and reached out his hand to ruffle her hair, “You’ve returned?” Like his beautiful appearance, his voice was also beautiful.

Lea nodded, “Yes! I found him!” she laughed happily as she waved towards me to come over.

It was then that I understood Kal had aided Lea in leaving the village to search for me. I was baffled. Though his eyes showered Lea with intense love, he was willing for her to love someone else? Even so much as to assist her?

Kal smiled warmly before turning to me and giving me a nod, "It's good you're back."

I nodded stiffly, “Hn,”

In this happy atmosphere, I felt awkward and inferior to Kal. Unlike him, I was an outsider. My looks are dull and I have white eyes. I’ve got no family to back me up and I am poor. Kal was someone who was born into a good family. He was handsome, beautiful, smart, and someone everyone his age looks up to. He, who chose to sacrifice his love so that his sweetheart will be happy, was someone I can’t fathom to be.

I am but a coward who only knows how to run away and compared to him I was nothing.

As soon as we returned, all the villagers rushed to the three of us. Well, the ‘two’ who had disappeared out of nowhere. I was ignored and some even praised me for bringing Lea and Kal back.

Everyone in the village knew that Kal and Lea were the best of friends who had always been together since they were a child. They also knew Kal’s love for Lea so when Lea returned with reddened and puffed up lips, their assumptions and speculations went through the roof.

The rumor of them eloping together and being caught by me spread throughout the village in an instant. One other reason why no one assumed it was me was that my thick face showed no signs of an intense kiss whilst Lea’s lips appeared to have been devoured by a beast.

Her reputation was stained mildly by this incident, but not too much, and that was due to the fact that the ‘person’ she was with was Kal. No one minded that she might not be a white lily and no one threw stones at her for this matter.

There were many reasons why her case was different from other people and one of the main reasons why no one cared about her remaining pure was because she was sick. She has many health issues and you could say that she won’t live a long life. Because of her health, no one dares to send marriage proposals to her. Hence why a moment of indulgence was accepted and just like that, everyone bound them together. Lea and Kal, perfect in both appearances and talent; it was natural for them to be together.

Lea’s eyes reddened and she shocked my dirty sleeves, “Brother Hal, I am not with brother Kal! Please believe me!” Her voice was heavy with the feeling of being wronged, and it broke my heart.

I shook my head, “I know.”

Lea decided to clear the air and put an end to the rumor about her and Kal, but I and Kal intervened. I figured she'd have to tell people the truth if she wanted to put an end to the rumor. But I was also aware that telling the truth would endanger the relationship we had just formed. As a result, I agreed when Kal proposed that Lea and I cover our relationship behind the rumor that he and Lea were together.

This was the only way Lea and I could be together. Though I felt sorry that we had to be in a cowardly relationship, it was because this was the only way to be with Lea in this village.

“I’m sorry Lea,” I said as I gently ran my hand through her hair.

“... I.. I understand, brother Hal. But will you be alright?” she asked me warily.

I smiled, nodded, and stared deep into her beautiful eyes. Inside my heart, however, I was crushed. I wasn’t alright. I had willingly given Kal consent to bask in the glory and happiness of becoming Lea's man in public. Who would be ‘alright’ in this situation?

It was during this time that Lea became more ill, and her health deteriorated from bad to worse. And against the wishes of Kal’s parents, Lea and Kal ‘eloped’ with me, their ‘servant’. We ran far away from the village to fulfill Lea’s dream of becoming the Greatest Musician of Zene. Helping and comforting people through music had always been her dream when she was younger and she wanted to fulfill it before she dies.

Kal and I helped Lea, who just turned 14, comfort people by playing music for them. We traveled to different cities, to different towns, and helped people. During the process of helping people, Lea and I were able to deepen our love for each other and be together for real. I wasn’t her ‘servant’ anymore and became her ‘man’.

By man, I mean her public boyfriend. Everything that makes me a man-man and Lea a woman-woman was for when we get married. Sure, we were looked down upon because I was an old 15-year-old boy, and Lea was a 14-year-old girl, but we didn’t care! Marriage should only happen when people have savings, and we didn’t so we decided to delay this matter to a year later.

“Congratulations, Lea, Hal.” Kal… was okay with Lea and me getting married a year later. Him being nonchalant was something I still wasn’t able to fathom but he was a good guy.

Every night and day, Kal would play music to help Lea’s body relax. He made sure to put her to sleep stress-free so that her body didn’t break the next day. He brought in countless physician specialists and made every effort to improve Lea’s health. And sure enough, her condition improved by leaps and bounds! He was a good person who was kind enough to heal my tired body even though I should be his enemy. A really good person.

Inferiority. That was when this feeling surged and blackened me. Many questions crossed my mind during this time and one of them was how Kal was able to hold back his love for Lea. If I was in his position, I wouldn’t have been able to let go of the woman I love and watch as she lay in the arms of another man! I wouldn’t be able to help her prepare her body so that she could have that other man’s offspring.

I sunk into this feeling every single day and the more I did, the more apologetic I felt towards Kal. He was such a good guy, and he deserved Lea more than I did. The more days passed, the more panicked I felt. Lea was about to turn 15, and I felt very unworthy and unready. I felt like a useless third wheel who had no place in this world. This feeling overpowered me immensely and I began to crack.

I knew I loved her but there was something dark in me that told me to not. That I couldn’t, that I wasn’t worthy. The more my feelings for Lea grew, the more I felt like I was about to drown in this darkness. The feeling of being unable to breathe finally overpowered my love for Lea, and I began to distance myself from Lea.

She noticed. Kal noticed. And like a coward, I began coming home late. I began lying about why I was coming home late and I did everything to avoid the both of them. Lea’s eyes would redden whenever she saw me, and I would regret it, but for some reason, I wasn’t able to stop myself from feeling this certain way. I couldn’t help myself from feeling that I didn’t deserve Lea.

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Author’s Note: I don’t know if you like this sudden switch of p.o.v but I do hope you don’t mind. In all honesty, I like this ep and the upcoming ep a lot! It feels really nice and fun to write and edit these ‘new’ episodes hehe. The next episode will be long because I don’t really want to split it so yea… get ready. BTW! I FEEL LIKE I AM TALENTED IN WRITING ABOUT LOVE STUFF MUHAHAHAHAH!!

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(February - September 2020) 

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