Chapter 3: On The House
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This is a story of the Becoming Monsters Universe by AiLoves, setting used with permission.

 

The idea for this story and these characters comes from Moonwing.

 

—-

 

Chapter 3: On The House

 

In the middle of a small apartment was a large bucket. Cheap plastic, red, and looking like it should have a mop stuck in it. It was filled with what would look to most outsiders like a lot of water. At least, until the morning light hit it, and the water stood up. Gooey the Glass Slime rather enjoyed a lot about his new form, acquired in the Change three years prior. The fact that he just did not need a bed was part of it. He stretched despite not having muscles to stretch, the habits of a lifetime no match for three years of unlearning them. A shower, some random leftovers for breakfast, and then grabbed his phone to check his schedule at work, wondering for a moment why he couldn’t find the app before he remembered.

 

Oh. Right. I quit. Hard to remember sometimes. Well, the Delver thing was a mixed success, but I got enough coins and reagents out of it to make rent for a bit.

 

After Gooey and Hush had emerged from the Vegas Dungeon two days ago, the boss of the place had been quite eager to be generous. The wooden stick he’d found had turned out to be the base for an Oak Wand, which he’d been happy to make sure got made into a wand for the cost of remaining materials and labor. Healing and food? Paid for. His way of saying “don’t sue.” The wand wasn’t done yet, but would be later today. Maybe Gooey could leverage that guilt into a job offer?

 

Guess that means I need to go get a Delver Card, doesn’t it? If I’m gonna have an active weapon at home, and all. Man, I need to go back over there and get at it. Right now it’s either I go do that, or I try to hire on for one of the shows on the Strip.

 

There was a knock at the door. Odd, it was early by Vegas standards. Not even 11 in the morning. Plus none of his friends had mentioned they were stopping by. The knock came again, an oddly two-toned thud-tick sound now that Gooey was listening for it. “Hold on, I’m coming…” he slid over to the door, glancing through the peep hole. It was blurry, but he could see red and black. Seemed familiar, so he opened the door.

 

It got approximately two inches before it flew open, and he found himself tackle-hugged by a familiar catgirl. “Heath! Oh, I missed you! Couldn’t keep myself away, just had to come to see if the address was good! So happy you’re here, we have so much to catch up on, and life is just completely different the last couple of days!”

 

He found himself on his… well, can’t quite call it his “back,” per se, but flat on the floor. Hush was pressing into him from above, hugging him close. It was close and intimate as much as it was familiar… or as familiar as one can get after one afternoon together escaping a dungeon. It was an effective introduction, all things considered. “Sienna, good to see you. And, uh, you’re comfy.”

 

She grinned into a bit of him that might charitably be called his shoulder. “So are you. How’ve you been? What’re you doing today? Hopefully me.” She looked up and glanced around. “Why is your place so… bare? I’ve seen bachelor pad memes that had more furniture than you do.”

 

“I rent an apartment on a grocery store wage and I’m made of protoplasm. You tell me.” Heath laughed a bit under her, making the cool gel of his body quiver against her.

 

“Alright, fine, smart alec. That’s one question, what about the other two?”

 

“I’m doing good. Kind of looking for a job, this apartment isn’t much but I’d like to keep it. As for what I’m doing… uh, I was thinking about going back over to the Dungeon building to check on things.”

 

Hush looked disappointed. “Oh, so you’re not doing me? Sad. Mind if I come with you? All my friends are busy except for you and I should check it back out again now that I know left from right down there. Wanna go back down on another tour?”

 

Gooey slithered out from under her, leaving the catgirl on hands and knees with a disappointed look on her face that he missed entirely. “I’m not back at a hundred percent yet, so I don’t think so. Maybe in a few days if I still have enough money to go. That crafter, I think her name was Nadia? She said my wand should be ready today, so I figure I’ll go get some info and apply for a card while I wait. Beats groceries, anyway.”

 

Hush stood up, muttering something under her breath about which kind of wand she wanted, then padded around the place a bit. “I mean, I guess it’s organized in a… let’s be nice and call it Spartan kind of way. Smallish, but the window in a good size and faces south, so great sun patch potential…”

 

“Why are you going around inspecting my apartment, and what do you mean by ‘sun patch potential?’” Gooey had been following her progress around the room with some interest. After all, she was dressed for the desert summer, which is to say she was wearing enough for decency and precious little else. Short shorts, a white tee, and her own fur.

 

She, in turn, pulled his curtain back to let in a puddle of sunlight instead of the previous sliver, smiling into its warmth before daintily stepping over to where it landed on the ground next to Gooey… and flopping into a curled up position on the floor,

right in the light and warmth. “See? Sun patch potential! Don’t let me stop you from getting ready, as you can see I’m already good to go.”

 

Gooey looked down at the catgirl currently playing cat more than girl. “Sienna… you know what? Why not. You’re fun, we can totally do this one together.”

 

She stretched out on the ground, showing several inches of toned midriff along with her giant smile. “Yay! You really know how to make a girl’s day, Gooey! Next step’s going to be getting some real furniture in here.”

 

If Gooey had an eyebrow to raise, he would have raised it. “You seem awfully eager for some reason.”

 

Rolling onto her belly, she stretched again. “Uh, duh? You are beyond fun to hang out with, you get me, great in the sack twice in an afternoon, good idea what you wanna do with your life? What’s not to like?”

 

“In case you missed it, I’m kinda unemployed.”

 

“I can’t throw stones about that one, now can I? You’re not the only one who’s going to be asking about jobs when we get to the Hall. Speaking of, I think the bus goes in fifteen minutes. We’d better get to the stop unless you got a car I don’t know about.”

 

“Take a look around this apartment and try saying that with a straight face. Let’s get to the bus stop.”

 

The bus was, as usual this summer, fairly full of tourists. Hush was more than happy to flirt her way into a seat, a process that took about two and a half seconds once she noticed that she’d need to. She was also more than happy to invite the highly-malleable Gooey to share the seat with her, a process that definitely required they be very comfortable with each other’s bodies and that greatly disappointed the guy who’d given up his seat.

 

Most of the people got off the bus when it got to the end of the Strip. Gooey peeled off of the Nekomata to an adjacent empty seat once it became available. She, in turn, was rather annoyed that he did so.

 

It didn’t take long for the bus to get the last couple of miles out to the Dungeon gate. The shoddily-constructed place was much quieter this time than before. After the incident two days prior, a rescue team had gone down and cleared out everything in sight. Once the trapped tourists were brought back out, a full Dungeon clear was scheduled for a professional group today. No tours, few tourists, all business. Alchemists brewed, Enchanters imbued, Shapers and Smiths tended to equipment, and Delvers strategized.

 

At the same time, desks where paperwork was handled hummed with a steady flow of activity. Although Carson City, the state capitol, wasn’t exactly close by, they wisely decided to put a station to deal with things like licensing over here. The boss here was more than happy to charge them rent in order to let them be close to the action, and they in turn did brisk business with the local and not-so-local Delvers. Everyone won. Especially the boss.

 

The crafters were the first stop for Gooey and Hush. Not hard to find, either. Just had to find the decent-sized group of particularly monstrous ladies all hanging out, and there you had Dante’s Daughters. Blobs and spiders, misshapen husks and pallid walking corpses greeted them. Honestly? Not the most fun bunch to be around, but they knew what they were about and their Guild Leader had been the one advising a certain Glass Slime and Nekomata how they could move forward a couple of days prior. Also the one who had finished and gift-wrapped Gooey’s new wand, on the house, after he’d managed to supply nearly all of its materials and labor was covered. Business was still business.

 

One of the ladies, looking like a vaguely-feminine black hole in reality, walked forward to deliver it to them. Her voice was a harsh whisper, obviously trying to be heard but also obviously not having vocal cords to do so with. “You are here early. It is lucky that Nadia is quick.”

 

Gooey happily accepted the wand, sheathing it in his belt (which, together with a light apron and a hat, formed the only clothing he wore). “We have a lot to get through today. Do you know where to apply for licenses? Anyone accepting recruits?”

 

The shadow shook her head. Or, at least, it kind of looked like she did. Hard to tell. “Licenses at the desk. Recruits, no way to know.” She pointed to the front desk, already dealing with a line despite the relative calm of the rest of the place.

 

Hush looked at the line, her ears flipping downward towards her skull despite all efforts to keep the disappointment and frustration off of her face.”Is… is that really necessary? I mean, really, just to apply for a license? Can’t we just, like, put our time Underground without an escort as time served and skip it? I think I’d rather be fighting those lizards again.”

 

“Lizards? The horse-sized ones on Level 2?”

 

The catgirl’s ears perked back towards her before her head slowly turned to regard the shadow woman again. “You… you know about them?”

 

“Of course. Even I get to go there now and then. Simple enough when the group’s together. I imagine not so much alone.”

 

Gooey nodded. “You’re right, ma’am, and I know I agree. Come on, Hush. I don’t think that line’s gonna get any shorter.”

 

On the one transparent and goopy hand, he was absolutely correct. By the time they’d been in line for five minutes, it had extended behind them an appreciable distance. Way more than they had managed to move forward, in any case. Every minute they would have delayed getting into line looked like it would have added ten to the wait.

 

On the other red and fuzzy one? That didn’t make this part any easier. Hush yawned broadly, feeling her slightly-longer canine teeth showing as she tried to entertain herself by watching notes of dust dance around beams of sunlight. Why do they even call them canine teeth when they’re in the mouth of a catgirl? Wouldn’t that make them felines? Nah, that sounds weird.

 

“Number forty!”

 

She looked down at her ticket. Two to go. She had managed to slightly zone out, Gooey enjoying the companionable silence that she so rarely put forward. Time for that part to be over. “Heath, what do you actually think we’re going to be doing with our licenses? Wouldn’t it get really expensive to sign up for tours every day and pray for a good haul? I don’t think we’re going to get as simultaneously lucky and unlucky as last time every time we go down, you know?”

 

“I know, and I’m not really sure. Guess I hope I’ll see it here coming up, since I really don’t want to go back to mopping up grocery stores with my belly.”

 

“You know, all of a sudden getting groped at the maid cafe doesn’t sound all that bad by comparison. Still, kinda overreacted last time, so that’s out.”

 

“And all of a sudden I want to hear this story, but later. That’s our number, let’s go.”

 

It took almost exactly 45 seconds for Sienna “Hush” Usher, Nekomata Geomancer, to wish she was back staring at dust motes. The paperwork was painfully detailed, completely merciless, and expensive enough to put in that she really hoped it would be worth it. That was two or three days of food, at least. And the rules. So many rules. They were all kind of obvious, but so many of them. “Who the heck needs to be told that blasting someone with a death ray is illegal unless it’s in self

defense? Or that using mind-affecting powers without permission is, too?”

 

“The same kind of people who need to be told that blowing up a grocery store produce aisle is wrong whether it’s by a bomb or a Class Ability.”

 

The person helping them, a reedy-looking Human in a light but monogrammed shirt reading “Thomas,” coughed awkwardly. “You probably won’t believe it when I say it, but we do get people failing the test at the end of this almost every day.”

 

Sienna did a double-take. “Wait, there’s a test?”

 

“Yes, ma’am. You have to score at least a 70 and not miss any of the critical questions, or we can’t license you. Too much of a danger to yourself and others.”

 

Gooey reached over and touched her shoulder. “Like you said, nothing here’s hard. We got this.”

 

At his touch, she kind of wiggled a bit and leaned into it, obviously enjoying it. Eyes closed, she said something under her breath.

 

“What was that, Sienna?”

 

“I said you should scratch between my earsss… oh, that’s nice…” he had immediately done what she asked, and she in turn was instantly blissed out and purring.

 

After a few moments of this, Thomas coughed awkwardly again. “Um, sorry to interrupt, but can you save the public displays of affection for when you aren’t holding up the line?”

 

Both Gooey and Hush suddenly snapped back to themselves. Gooey was very, very glad he couldn’t blush. “Uh, right. Anything else before we go to test?”

 

“Just a full copy of your Status. We don’t have anyone who can get a reliable detailed Scan, but we do have a truth-teller to verify with you next.”

 

Hush, for her part, had blushed furiously… but it was hidden by her red fur. “Sounds good!”

 

Two doors separated them from the testing room, but they were the only ones back there for the moment. A rather severe woman greeted them. She wore no name tag and really did not seem interested in being friendly, her voice one that was a tired rasp from doing this way too much. “Alright you two, this is the test room. Your examination will consist of thirty questions. You have fifteen minutes to answer them. There will be no talking during the exam, so hush.”

 

“Yes ma’am?” Hush’s ears perked forward.

 

The woman looked puzzled. This response was not one in her carefully-plotted script. Gooey was the first to realize what happened, and another issue. “Uh, sorry, that’s her nickname. And… um, is it okay if she takes this one by herself, then I come in afterwards? Silence is reeeeealy uncomfortable for her, so I don’t want her accused of cheating.”

 

The woman looked puzzled, again. “I… don’t see anything wrong with that, I think.” She looked at her sheet, then back at Hush. “I assume you are Sienna?” The catgirl nodded back at her, clearly terrified. “Then come in.”

 

The door closed, Gooey smiled. He smiled much more broadly while resisting the giggles about thirty seconds later, as he heard Hush immediately start chattering indistinctly through the only-mostly-soundproofed door. The smile only got broader the longer it went on uninterrupted, to the point that it was pointing out from either side of his thankfully-malleable face by the time the door opened again some eight or nine minutes later. Sienna was smiling.

 

The woman looked bemused, enlightened, and irritated in equal parts. “Heath?” He nodded at her. “I see what you meant. Your turn.”

 

“You got this, Gooey! Seriously, I know there isn’t anything on that test that you won’t knock out of the park!”

 

“Ma’am, I need you to either be quiet or return to the waiting room. If we can hear your voice inside the testing area, it will disqualify the tester.”

 

Hush immediately brought both paws over her mouth. “Sorry! I’ll go! See you after you’re done.” She seemed like she wanted to say something else, but managed to close her mouth and left down the hallway. Gooey shook his head, the chatty catgirl brought a serious smile to his face despite his normal preference for… well, peace and calm.

 

It was time for testing. The room he entered was… plain. It was meant for one thing and one thing only, and that was to permit up to sixteen people to sit at a computer screen and answer thirty questions each. Questions about the proper times to use his Race and Class abilities. Bystander and Good Samaritan rules and obligations. Basics about the Dungeons, about Coins and Monsters. But the last couple… those were the oddballs. Question 29 asked him about the Null Ray ability, demanding he describe it in detail. Number 30 wanted to know about Purple Bar.

 

I suppose it makes sense, in a way. They want to make sure I know what I’m slinging around. Probably not a coincidence that they picked my rarest and most hazardous abilities. Danger to self and others was always the thing that needed controlling and awareness, so this would get you to think about…

 

The computer had been idly considering his answers, probably for longer than it should have taken to grade 28 multiple choice answers and a couple of text boxes, but it suddenly gave a PING tone that Gooey found to be very familiar. It was plainly made to imitate the Status message sound. The one that even deaf people reported hearing in their heads when they leveled up. The screen went green, and a cheesy little animation of a white check mark appeared on screen along with a line of text. “Congratulations on passing your examination! You may now get your probationary Orange Card from the front desk.”

 

Oh. Right. Probation period. One month, and if I screw up they revoke my card in addition to whatever other penalties happen. They were getting really sick of people licensing here and going home where it’s harder, then doing things best left unspoken. Made them look bad. As if Las Vegas needed the help.

 

He stepped out into the hallway, letting the relief wash through him. Whatever else was true, failing this one would have left him looking for another minimum-wage dead-end drudgery job. He was shaky enough while heading out towards the desk that he could barely keep coherence in his legs to walk. So he didn’t. He allowed himself to slide, something he generally refused to do in public. It was better than toppling.

 

He saw Hush waiting for him at the desk, expression on her face looking more nervous than he had been. The moment the man there handed his Orange Card over, though, she cheered out loud and tackled him with another enormous hug. Some of the people in line clapped, some of the other Delvers in the area nodded knowingly. All of them recognized that two people had just joined their ranks.

 

To Heath “Gooey” Martin? It felt good. Really good.

 

The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur. After the tests and the congratulations, applying for jobs at the place seemed almost mundane. Pay was ever so slightly better than minimum… but came with the ability to gather Class Progress and loot from the Dungeon on a routine basis. To Gooey, it was all upside. To Hush? It was basically the exact same as being paid in tips to be ogled in skimpy maid outfits, but with permission to actually use her claws as needed. After a lunch late enough that there were arguments to be made to call it dinner, the two got on the bus to head home.

 

Much to Gooey’s shock, Hush got off the bus with him at his place. “I thought you lived further in?”

 

“I do, but you know… I’m not done with you yet. Can we get inside?”

 

He didn’t see why not, and getting up to the small apartment didn’t take long. They just had to ignore the sounds of the party coming from two doors down. “So… uh, here we are. You saw it earlier, I guess. What’s up?”

 

“You.”

 

Heath felt a shove, landing with a splat onto the floor. This time, when the pile of red and black catgirl landed on him, she was not wearing summer’s scanty fashion. She had her fur on and nothing else, and had him pinned. “You’ve been either missing the point or ignoring me all day, so I’m going to make this one clear. I want you, inside me, repeatedly, until neither of us is able to do it anymore. Do you want me?”

 

In the two second span where rational thought was still a realistic thing, he mentally smacked himself for how much he’d missed. One second after that, and he formed a dick to use on her, which Hush rapidly got into her and started riding. He wasn’t trying to envelop or overwhelm her this time. He was just there, enjoying the sensation of being under and in her as she enjoyed him. Before too long, she pushed herself down hard onto him, cumming hard enough that he could see her toned abs flex before fixing him with a rather feral grin. “I know your orgasms feel different, Heath. You’re nowhere near done, so get to it and freaking do me!”

 

Who was he to object? Seizing her by all four limbs and kissing her deeply, Heath rolled her onto her back and pressed down onto her entire body, pushing her into the cheap carpet as he filled her to absolute capacity. Over and over he thrust down into her, the screams of bliss from her mouth the only thing reminding him that he wasn’t hurting her, and when he came she joined him with just as much power as before.

 

Some hours later, the two awoke. Hush was rather comfortable in her Glass Slime water bed, despite a couple of rug burns and a few rather sore bits of herself trying to complain at her. Heath was rather shocked at just exactly how many more rounds they had gone before they both collapsed, but felt rather satisfied with both his performance and the afterglow.

 

Sienna rolled over on him to face down into his transparent eyes, and casually dropped the biggest bomb he could possibly imagine onto his brain. “So, you’ll help me move in with you today, right?”

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