Day 1

Scene 1

Frame 1
*Bedroom background, it's still dusk outside the window

*Sound 13*

Author.
I woke up early. It must not have been 5 o'clock yet, because it was dark outside.

Yura
Earlier than usual. Much earlier than usual.

Author.
My head hurt a bit, but I put it down to excitement. Today is a very important day. The first day of school at the university.

Author.
I could have overcome it, but all these new acquaintances, teachers, and disciplines were seen not as prospects and new opportunities, but as a new, not very pleasant reality with which I just had to find a common language.
I'm doing all this for a reason. Among other things, I will have Nika with me.

Frame 2
* Nika's face on the pillow from the angle as if we were lying to her right

Yura
I want to lie down a little longer and watch the first rays of the sun tease your face and you start squinting cute." (I whispered so as not to wake her up).

Author.
I don't even remember how we started dating. It seems we have always been together. In kindergarten, at school, and now at university.
We are like the main characters in the movie Where Dreams Go, a couple who were together before this life and met again in this world.
I liked to think so.

Yura
I can't imagine my life without you.

Author.
I couldn't help myself. The main thing is that she doesn't wake up.

Author.

We are lucky that our families are friends and they don't mind us living together at a relatively young age. For the most part, it was their initiative to help us rent an apartment near the university.

In addition, Nika cannot stay at home right now. She is under a lot of pressure from the atmosphere in her family because of her parents' divorce. In recent months, she has not been herself because of this.
But I think a separate life will distract her a bit. And I will do my best to support and protect her.

Yura
I have to get out of bed.

Scene 2

Frame 1
*Kitchen

*Sound 14*

Author.
After completing the morning routine, I decided to make us breakfast. Usually, it's Nika who packs cute lunch boxes for us. But lately, her mood has been pretty low, so I decided to cheer her up...
I was not sure that I had the moral right to interfere in her life with advice. My parents are still together, and moreover, I have never seen people so in love with each other either in life or in movies.
No matter how much I want to, I just can't understand her feelings.
So I decided to do without household support and all sorts of nice things until her condition improves a bit.

*A sleepy nika in her pajamas appears.

Nika
Good morning! It's not a very good one, though, because I was woken up by a noise.

Yura
It was me doing exercises and I accidentally dropped the dumbbell....

Nika

Have you been exercising? Is there a Dwayne Johnson's Rock competitor in our house? I'm going to have to widen all the doorways!

Yura

Of course, our diet will consist of celery and protein.

Nika
Cool.... I love celery! Well, no. I hate it. I confused it with nuggets and burgers.

Yura
Say you still like Coke Zero and then you'll spend the night on the street.

Author.
Nika smiled, but hastened to interrupt this lovely morning routine. It was obvious that she wanted to say something, but she didn't dare.

Nika
(Yawns) I didn't sleep well at all. I couldn't sleep for a long time last night.

Yura
Are you worried?

Nika
There is a little bit. There are just so many new things. Exams, moving, and... parents.
So many new and stressful things.
My mom still calls and writes to me all the time, I feel that she misses me, but she doesn't call me back, probably doesn't want to disturb me.
Everything feels strange and uncomfortable.

Yura

Everything new is uncomfortable. Even when you make fresh bedding, it's not pleasant to lie on it for the first couple of seconds, but then you get used to it.

Nika
Are you saying that I should just suck it up and get used to it? To the fact that I'm living here essentially at your expense, and my budget consists of 70% of my mother's help, who needs money herself right now.

Yura
What did you want? Did you want everything to be simple from the start?

Nika
I wanted everything to be different. Everything!

Yura
You know, your words can be misunderstood...

Nika

You know that's not what I meant. You just can't understand me! Your parents have never even had a serious fight, let alone a complete breakup. You have a perfect family, a perfect childhood, you have never seen your mom crying and your dad going out at night and not coming back. That's why you can't help me in any way.

Author.
Succumbing to a gust of emotion, she most likely did not deliberately forget the story that happened to my family two years ago. For whom divorce would be a child's walk on the beach.
But she is partly right. I don't know how she feels, and therefore I can't help her, but at least I can't do any harm by accident.

Yura
I don't claim to understand you perfectly.
Yes, we've known each other forever, but I don't know what's going on in your head.
But I can listen to you! At any hour of the day or night.
Nika
I already know this. That's why I'm saying it now.
I'm sorry for all the negativity lately, I just need some time.

Yura
Everything is fine. We will wait together as long as necessary and do whatever it takes to make you feel better.

Scene 3

Frame 1
*From the street

*Sound 15, 16

Author.
After we finished breakfast, we got ready and left the house.
The university was just a few minutes from our house. It seemed that Nika had already recovered from her morning experiences and was in a more or less good mood.

Author.
Our lives are in a transitional period. We are getting older and have to take on more responsibility.
That's why I shouldn't be chilling now either. I need to make more efforts. I need to become stronger and better so that in situations like this Nika can rely on my shoulder!

Frame 2
*University classroom

*Sound 17*

Author.
We attended the grand opening of the new academic year. We listened to the speech of the rector and deans. We were told about the faculties, various clubs and extracurricular activities.
I even began to immerse myself in this institute life on a little bit of a sensory level. Free and interesting.

Nika
How many people!
Do you think it's all our group?

Yura
It seems to me that our entire class has gathered here, and we're going to meet with the dean right now!

Nika
This is good! It's hard to imagine how you can study normally in such a mess. And you will need to find a common language with everyone.

Yura
You're just like at school. I don't understand why you need to communicate with all your classmates.

Nika
You wouldn't even understand. You only need a few people to feel normal.

Yura
As if that were a bad thing.

Nika
To be honest, I don't know what I think about it for sure. On the one hand, it's kind of strange, because most people would think you're not social and kind of gloomy. And on the other hand, I'm a little jealous of you, because your mood and state of mind don't depend on what others think of you.

Yura
Does yours depend on it?

Nika
A little bit. Look at how many beautiful girls we have in our class, and there are many who passed the EIT better than us.

Yura
It just means that they were preparing more diligently, that's all.
Everyone has their own reasons for doing or not doing something. If you were in their shoes, you would understand, but what's the point of trying to guess what's in their heads?

Nika
Yes, but I've always lived this way. You could say that I draw my portrait based on how people react and perceive me.

Yura
Look, that guy in the second row has an unwashed head. I wonder how your opinion of yourself will change if he thinks you're weird.

Nika
(laughs) It will be a disaster!!!

Author.
I am glad that I was able to defuse the situation a bit.

Nika
You know. I feel a little calmer.

Yura
Really?

Nika
In fact, I thought so, I don't really care about the opinion of that guy in the second row. Or anyone else's.

Yura
Does it really matter at all?

Nika
No! It's still important, but not as important as, for example, your opinion of me.

Yura
I think...

Author.
Nika changed dramatically in her face and, without letting me speak, she began to push me in the shoulder and sneakily point to the entrance to the classroom.

Yura
What is it?

Nika
Look!

Yura
Where to?

Nika
I just walked into the classroom. Don't you see?

Yura
Who?

Author.
I really didn't recognize this guy right away.
In general, it would be better if I didn't notice him, because that way I could keep my good mood for the rest of the day.

Nika
Do you recognize him?

Yura
Yes.

Author.
My hands started shaking, out of anger. I think you have experienced this several times. The appearance of this blue-eyed blond man in the classroom dramatically changed the smell in the room.
Or rather, my sense of this smell.
From a little summer freshness, the smell became musty, and I felt stuffy.

Yura
I'm going to go wash up a bit, did you notice where the restroom is?

Nika
It seems to be at the end of the floor, but wait! Let me go with you.

Yura
I'll do it myself.

Frame 3
*The corridor is the same as at day zero

Author.
I wonder what he is doing here. Maybe he works here as a janitor, then why hasn't he removed himself from this audience.

Stranger
Stop!

Yura
What else?

Author.
I turned around and saw that the guy had come out after me. Apparently, he had also noticed me and wanted to say a few words, like old friends. Let's pretend we used to be like that.

Yura
Is that you? Hello, Vlad.

Vladislav
Hey. Did you run out because of me?

Yura
Of course. And also the atmospheric plates move through you, the change of day and night happens through you.

Vladislav
Enough! I wanted to talk to you.

Yura
I didn't.

Vladislav
We are classmates now. I understand that I may disgust you and you would like to avoid me for the rest of your life, but I am here. We're just... Well, we're in the same group now. We're in the same group again, like in childhood.

Yura
Knowing you, it will only be a couple of days a month. You can just tell me which days you plan to come, and I'll just happen to be sick on those days.
I hardly had to watch and talk.

Vladislav
Okay. It was wrong of me to bother you with a conversation like that.
I just want you to know that I am very sorry. I'm really hurt and ashamed that this happened.

Author.
What do you think a face full of hatred looks like?
An angry grin with bulging eyes? I think not.
Thomas More has a good quote on this: "The strongest emotions are hidden in silence." It is the same with me.
After his words, all emotions disappeared from my face. I just looked at him as if he were dead. I wanted him to disappear from this world, to make his face disappear, his words disappear, his actions disappear, along with their consequences. And most of all, at that moment I wanted to be the reason for the disappearance of all this.

Yura
That's how it is. That's too bad.

Vladislav
I understand that you don't believe me, and after everything that happened, it's really hard to believe. But it's important for me that you know that I didn't want you to go through this.

Yura
.....

Author.
.....

Yura
....

Nika
You're a topographical moron! The toilet is in the other direction.

Vladislav
Nika? Are you here too?

Nika
I don't want to talk to you. Neither does Yura. It's better to end this dialog now.

Vladislav
We've already finished. I've said everything. The important thing now is...

Nika
That's great!

Author.
I wanted to say that nothing was over as long as he was alive, but Nika didn't let me say a word and led my dead carcass toward the toilet.
She tried to start a conversation with me. But so far, she couldn't get more than an "uh-huh" or "okay" out of me.

Frame 4
*A darkened background of the street they were walking to the university and a black plate with text on top of it.

Author.
We spent the evening in silence until we went to bed.
The meeting with the dean was not very interesting.
I could only think about Vlad and my brother.
About the situation that happened two years ago and how I can now exist in that reality, which seemed to be long in the past, but now it is bursting into my life again.
Time, of course, heals, but at the time I just endured, survived and waited it out. I didn't learn to live in this new world, I just pretended that everything was the same.
How did it happen that the only person in this world whom I feel hatred for was so close to me? What can this teach me?

I endlessly ran these thoughts through my head all day long, hoping for some kind of catharsis, as if if I found the right answer to this question, I would instantly feel better and be able to continue living my happy life. But this did not happen. It was naive to think that everything would be so easy. You have to pay for every lesson you learn with pain, and my payment went to the wrong card.

Frame 5
*Nika and Yura's bedroom

Nika
Do you want to talk?

Yura
No.

Nika
If you keep everything inside, it will not end well.
You know what you can share with me.

Yura
I don't want to talk now. I just want to wake up in the morning and have this whole day turn out to be a fiction.

Nika
You always do! I get it. In fact, you ignore problems always ignore!
You think that if you don't notice it, it doesn't exist.

Yura
Maybe you're right.

Nika
That's enough! I'm tired of looking at your sour face all day.
I'm not trying to devalue your feelings, but if you don't deal with them, you won't have any future.

Yura
Give me some time.

Nika
I have a better idea. Get ready.

Yura
Where to? It's already dark outside, and we have to get up for class tomorrow.

Nika
It won't take long. And what's the point of you doing that in class?
Please! Just trust me. You like to walk after sunset, it's only an hour. There and back.

Yura
Okay, but only for a little while.

Frame 6
*Street

*Sound 13*

Author.
I was pleased that Nika decided to support me. But in the moment, I was so deeply immersed in my emotions.
I didn't seem to have an option to take control of myself and forcefully return that cheerful and "normal" Yura.

Yura
Where are we going?

Nika
You'll find out soon enough. Let's go a little faster! Who was it that complained that we had to go to bed soon?

Yura
Okay, okay.

Author.
Is it really enough?
I wonder what my dad would say to me now?
He has always been able to pull himself together even in the most difficult situations. It seems to me that he does it the other way around, he just lets himself go when he thinks he needs to. To make it easier for the people around him to understand how he really feels.
It's a kind of concern for others.
But then two years ago, when our family lost my unborn brother, he was sincerely sick.
He went through the month with a stony face, but it seemed that all the matter around him was distorted, under the yoke of his inner longing and all-consuming emptiness.

Nika
Here we are!

Frame 7
*Children's playground

Yura
So why did we come here?

Nika
Don't you remember what this place is?

Author.
It seemed that if I answered incorrectly, I would be punished by the Divine. It's not clear whether the evening coolness brought me back to my senses or the walk, but I got out of my hole a little bit and I definitely cared about Nika's efforts

Yura
Can I give you a hint?

Nika
If you answer incorrectly, I will have to bury your corpse behind that hill.

Author.
In fact, I knew what kind of place it was. It just took me a while to realize where I was.
This is the playground where we used to play as children.

Yura
We met here.

Nika
Yes! What took you so long?

Yura
How old were we then?

Nika
I don't remember, but we were very young. Do you remember what it was like?

Yura
Of course I remember. My mom had bought me chocolate before the walk, and I was going to have a great time with it in the evening watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but some stranger fell off the swing and started sobbing all over the playground.

Nika
Not true! It wasn't that loud!

Yura
Of course not loudly! Your cries could be heard from the neighborhood.
That's why my mother persuaded me to sacrifice my sweet treasures to cheer you up a little.

Nika
You were still wearing a stupid hat!

Yura
I still have it.

Nika
Don't wear it ever again, it doesn't suit you at all.

Yura
I didn't particularly like it either. My mom made me wear it because of the sun.

Nika
You know. I'm glad I fell off the swing that day.
It was very painful for me. I even have a small scar under my knee.
But after paying such a small pain, I met you.

Nika
Are you glad we met at all?

Yura
Of course I am.

Author.
I wanted to answer in more detail. I wanted to say a lot of nice things, smile and look at her in embarrassment. But I just couldn't. Someone had locked all these feelings deep inside me for that evening and locked them with a key. Which I didn't really try to find.

Nika
Then why?

Yura
Why?

Nika
Why are you behaving like this? Today is the first day of our new life! We went to university, we are one step closer to our personal and common goals, and you walk around as if none of this exists.

Yura
You know everything. If I hadn't met him today, everything would have been fine.

Nika
Are you saying that it's his fault that you're behaving like this?

Yura
His actions.

Nika
You are talking nonsense! Do you hear yourself? You've been eating yourself all day today. In just a few hours, you've turned into a walking dead man, and it's all the fault of a common bully you knew as a child. Really?

Yura
You know what he did.

Nika
I know and I do not justify it! It just hurts me to see you like this! A lot of time has passed, I'm not asking you to forget or let go of the past. Just get out of this cocoon already.

Yura
I can't do anything about it. Or maybe I don't want to.

Nika
You're just scared.

Yura
What?

Nika
I don't know why, but you're afraid to just move on. Do you think I haven't noticed that since that day you've been playing yourself more than living your life?
If you feel so bad. Wouldn't it be better to leave that day sooner rather than lock yourself in it forever?

Yura
I was locked in it. If Vlad hadn't gone to the store that day to surround the store with his gang of idiots, nothing would have happened.

Nika
Yes! It's a tragedy! It's a situation that shouldn't have happened to anyone, but that's life! Do you think I wanted my parents to get divorced? Do you think I know what to do? How to bring back those happy days when the three of us had a good time?
No!

Yura
You don't know what you're talking about.

Nika
Maybe so. But I know for sure that you can't just go out and kill yourself. Who will you make better by doing this? Yourself? Your parents? Your brother? Me?
If you have finally decided to dump the responsibility for your life on Vlad and other people. If you decided to stay forever in that day and continue to gnaw at yourself from the inside, even though you could do nothing, tell me! Say it right here! In the place where we paid with a little childhood pain together and got something more.

Yura
....

Nika
Say it right here! Admit that you have given up hope, admit that you are a coward and a weakling who does not fight death but succumbs to it.
It will be the right thing to do! Do it in a place that has become a symbol of our connection. Give up everything and stop dragging me down with you.

Author.
A few more words from her. A couple more seconds of my dead face and she will cry.

Yura
....

Nika
Death does not take away one. Please. Fight it. Please. I can't bear to lose you too.

Author.
With each word, her voice grew quieter and quieter as she tried to hold back her tears.

Nika
Do you remember our first date?

Yura
We went to the movies.

Nika
You remember the phrase from the movie. That you should pity the living, not the dead.

Yura
I don't remember.

Nika
Let's solve everything here and now.
It may be selfish, but I don't care. Choose right now in this place. You will continue to sink. Will you blame yourself, be angry at this world, or will you choose your family, choose yourself, your dreams, and me?

Yura
....

Author.
I looked at Nika in silence and tried to understand why, even though I understood and agreed with Nika, I simply could not do anything.

Nika
Don't be silent! Make your choice!

Author.
She could no longer hold back her tears. At the moment she cried, I realized something.
All this time I was selfish.
I was not the most affected by that situation, but I behaved as if the bitterness and pain of the whole world was on my shoulders.
My mom was able to find the strength to keep going. For her own sake, for the sake of me and my father.
Dad is the same way, although I've never seen him more broken than he was then, he still returned to normal.
And all this time I was pretending that I suffered the most.

Nika
Well?

Yura
There is no need to cry. Please.

Nika
I can't.

Yura
I am a fool. I am very, very stupid and worthless. I'm sorry.
For some reason, I decided that I suffered the most. For some reason, I liked being in that empty room alone. I didn't pay attention and didn't notice that my condition was affecting you and everyone else. In fact, I always knew it, I just didn't want to admit it.

Nika
I know! But together we will manage. You and I will learn to be happy again, just like we were when we were kids. Won't we?

Yura
I do not know how long it will take, but I am sure we will learn. I will do my best.

Nika
So does this mean that you will no longer bury yourself? You won't look at this world through a black and white prism?

Yura
Only today I suddenly realized that I was dragging you there with me.
It will take me a while, but I will get us out of this hole. And we will smile again, just like we did when we were children on this playground.

Nika
Promise?

Yura
I promise.

Nika
Are you sure?

Yura
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to lose anyone else. I don't want to lose myself either.

Nika
I don't want to lose you either.

Yura
You know... We can say that we found each other again today.

Nika
Hey! We haven't reached the sentimental stage yet!

Yura
I'm sorry!

Nika
Stop it! Don't make that face, or I'll burst into tears again.

Author.
She couldn't hold back. I didn't want to say anything. I suddenly felt her fragility and value to me. She was like a small snowflake in my palm, which began to melt when I touched it.

Yura
Come here.

Frame 8
*The couple hugs each other.

Author.
Suddenly I felt so good and calm. All my problems disappeared.

I no longer wanted to escape from this world. I did not want to take revenge and take out all the pain on Vlad.
I did not want to hide from the whole world deep inside myself.

Yura
Let's go home.

Nika
Maybe we can stand like this a little longer. I'm so calm.

Yura
We can stand like this until morning. But you're dressed very lightly.
I don't want you to get sick.

Nika
So warm me up better.

Author.
After standing there a little longer, Nika suddenly buried her face in my chest. Maybe she was embarrassed?

Nika
Don't do that again! I got scared.

Yura
Why?

Nika
When you looked at me with empty eyes today, I thought you had fallen out of love with me. As if you had forgotten how to feel anything at all and that you would leave me alone. I was so scared.
Yura
I will never leave you. No matter what happens, never, do you hear me? You said it yourself, this playground is a symbol of our destiny to be together, and we'd have to be stupid and crooked idiots to miss it.

Nika
You almost made it!

Yura
That's it.

Frame 9
*The background of the site again

Author.
Finally, I felt that she was getting a little better. I could feel it through her heartbeat, the warmth of her hands and the way she looked at me at that moment.

Nika
Last question.

Yura
Ask them and let's go.

Nika
Just answer as seriously as possible, okay?

Yura
Okay, let's go faster!

Nika
Would you stay with me even if I were an ant?

Yura
Of course! I would build you a nice house out of leaves.

Nika
Don't lie! What if you were a dragonfly?

Yura
Even a dung beetle.

Nika
Ewwww. (laughs) I'm already cold.

Yura
Let's go faster then. Give me your hand!

Author.
Soon we returned home.
It was a strange day. It started with anxious emotions of novelty and new challenges that I did not know about.
Then there was pain and emptiness. The scars of the past reminded me of themselves, even though I thought I had safely hidden and locked them away.
And it all ended with a feeling of warmth. The flame from the small match that Nika had been blowing all evening turned into a huge fire that drove out all the darkness and melted the ice around my heart.
Now I felt calm and cozy inside.
Huh. What a beautiful day it was!