Chapter 10: Drowning In My Tears
28 0 1
X
Reading Options
Font Size
A- 15px A+
Width
Reset
X
Table of Contents
Loading... please wait.

TRIGGER WARNING: (Slightly) SEXUAL CONTENT

A soft knock at the door startled me. Then his tall frame filled the doorway. It was only now that I realized how much taller Marius was than me. His eyes met mine, a hint of understanding in them.

"Hey," he began, his voice gentle, almost as if he could sense my apprehension.

I nodded, clutching the Lux figure tighter against my chest, as if it were a shield. "Hey," I echoed, my voice barely above a whisper.

"I heard about the room situation," he said, giving the room a quick glance before focusing back on me. "I understand if you're uncomfortable."

The weight of the situation pressed down on me, but Marius' genuine concern gave me a sliver of relief. "It's just... unexpected," I admitted, my voice quivering slightly.

He nodded, understanding filling his gaze. "I get it," he replied softly. "But know this: I'll respect your boundaries."

A sigh escaped my lips. "I appreciate that," I murmured. The Lux figure seemed to grow heavier, its significance in this moment not lost on me.

Look," he began, his voice gentle, "I can put the mattress on the floor and sleep there. You can have the bed.

I glanced at the bed, then back at Marius. His suggestion was considerate, but the thought of him sleeping on the floor made me feel uncomfortable. "No," I said, shaking my head slightly. "You don't have to do that."

His eyebrows raised in surprise, but his eyes remained understanding. "Are you sure?" he asked cautiously.

I took a deep breath, steadying myself. "Yes," I replied, trying to sound more confident than I felt.

Marius gave a small nod, his lips curling into a slight smile. "Alright then," he agreed, giving me space but not entirely backing away.

From this point on, the atmosphere in the room felt somewhat lighter, though a subtle tension still lingered in the air. Marius seemed to be navigating the situation delicately, well aware of the potential discomfort I might be feeling.

After a while, I mustered the courage to voice my intentions. "I think I'll take a shower," I said, more to myself than to Marius.

"Sure," he responded, hesitating for a split second. "I'll give you some space to freshen up," he added, as if I were asking him to leave the room entirely. Maybe it wasn't too bad of an idea, but I felt bad, demanding it from him. After all, it was our room, not just mine, and he must've been tired as well. Seeing my hesitation, he gave me a caring look. "I'll just play one more solo-queue game in the gaming room. It's fine. Really."

"...Thank you," I replied, my voice tinged with gratitude. The desire for a moment alone weighed heavily on me. I wanted to gather my thoughts and process everything that had happened.

As I closed the bathroom door behind me, my heart began to race again. Immediately, I grabbed the key, turning it around. The clicking sound of locking up the room was both a relief and a trigger.
A familiar feeling embraced my body. How long had it been? How much time had passed since I had buried these memories? Past traumas cast shadows over the present, threatening to engulf me. I took a deep breath, trying to ground myself in the here and now.

This isn't the same situation. It's different from back then. I'm safe...

“I'm gonna go now!” Marius' voice ripped me out of my thoughts, as the door of our hotel room closed with a thud. My breath went wild for a moment until I calmed down again.

I'm all by myself now... It's fine...

After a silence enveloped both the room and me, I turned on the faucet. The sound of running water drowned out the cacophony of fears echoing in my mind.
As the water cascaded down, its warmth provided a semblance of comfort, a brief respite from the storm raging within me. As my tense muscles relaxed, my thoughts spiraled back to the events of the day.

Suddenly, uncommon thoughts crossed my mind.

I should be proud of myself... the fact that I even managed to get here...

A light laughter escaped my lips. It was truly a success compared to my past self. In the last five years, I had barely left the house. Not to mention I'd never flown before. Usually I didn't even use public transport.

Each droplet that hit the shower floor felt like a tiny weight lifting off my shoulders, granting me a momentary escape.
I began to ponder what lay ahead for tomorrow. Would the tournament go smoothly? How would I stay focused amidst all the toxicity?

I shook my head to dispel these thoughts. I must not forget why I was here: to leave an impression on important people and hopefully join a great team afterward. But what if things didn't go as planned? What would be my next move?
My thoughts threatened to overwhelm me once more, but a gentle realization crept in: Marius would be by my side tomorrow. With him, things wouldn't be so bad after all.

I don't even know him though... but...

For a moment, I allowed myself to contemplate that. His kindness, his genuine concern, his willingness to make me feel comfortable in an uncomfortable situation. Could it be possible that not all people were the monsters my experiences had painted them to be? After all, it had been so long since I'd encountered genuinely kind people...

Well, I guess that's no wonder if I'm never leaving the house; playing League all day and getting flamed by my solo-queue teammates.

The thought was both comforting and unsettling. While Marius had shown compassion, the scars of my past were still fresh. Yet, the evening's events offered a glimmer of hope, a possibility that perhaps the future held more moments of understanding and less of fear.

As I stood there, lost in thought, a hauntingly familiar voice pierced the silence. It whispered right into my ear. "Aren't you gonna ask me if I want to join?" I screamed in fright, panic seizing me. It was Marius' voice, yet it sounded distorted, unsettling.

“Leave me alone!” I yelled, filled with anger, trying to sound strong, intimidating. After all, my voice was all I had left to defend myself. But deep down, I knew I was vulnerable. This world was cruel, full of predators, and I was their prey.

"Oh, so you're rebelling? That's what makes it fun afterall!" Suddenly, a hand seized my hair, yanking me forcefully to the ground. As I slipped and fell, I saw terrifying faces all around me, hearing their cruel laughter. A vicious sound growing louder with every second. My ears felt like they were bleeding.

“Stop it! Help! HELP ME—”

The sound of yelling stopped abruptly. My mouth no longer moved; it was as if it had been sealed shut. A heavy hand pressed down on it, while another grasped my breast tightly. Muffled sounds of panicing screams echoed within me, unable to escape this nightmare.

Suddenly the immense weight of a bare body lay on top of me, naked skin splashing onto another, only kept apart by the slippery surface that enveloped each of us.

Overwhelmed by the paralyzing grip of pure terror, my consciousness waned. And so too did my resolve to live and fight. The water surrounding me began to rise steadily. Initially warm, it soon turned icy cold. More and more liquid gathered around me, devouring my dreams and consuming my very essence. As my body sank deeper to the ground I started crying, making me drown in my own despair.

1