Chapter 31: A Mercy

I had an extremely pleasant morning. One tried the same trick that Nine woke me up with that first morning. Except this time, when I woke up, I didn't kick her away. I was just glad that I was being woken by a soft touch instead of a blade. 

Without being fully awake, I was still half-afraid that Five would get free and kill me in my sleep. But either she had decided to spare me, or One had come in and released her. I wanted to ask One what was happening, what had happened, but her mouth was occupied for the moment. So it would have to wait until breakfast.

We were a little later than usual for breakfast, but that was fine. I was just happy to be alive. When we sat down after One had served both of us, I was going to start the conversation, but she spoke first.

"We're planning on heading out tomorrow. I saw the revised agenda on your desk," she said. I nodded, kind of surprised that she was looking through my stuff but also glad that she was telling me about it. I supposed I could trust her with pretty much everything. I just had to make sure not to talk about my dreams until I was ready to share that with her. Perhaps I would talk about it if we got some alone time during the trip. But with this looming crisis, it might be best to wait until that was resolved.

"Yeah, for the most part, it's fine. I just wanted to make sure I understood what was happening," I replied.

One nodded. "That's good. You've done a good job catching up on all the work you've missed the past week or so, but you need to slow down. You shouldn't be working this hard."

I cocked my head at her. "Am I working that hard?"

"Harder than you normally would," she responded. "If you want to keep your cover, you should do the bare minimum, not try to push in too much. A few of these things you can delegate to other people. 

"Why am I getting them in the first place?" I asked, bewildered.

"Well, you always receive copies, but you don't have to do them yourself," One explained.

I nodded. "Okay, yeah. After breakfast, we can go, and you can show me which ones I shouldn't be doing anymore. I'm glad I did it a couple of times to understand, but I don't need to do anything extra."

One smirked and winked at me. "Of course, I'll show you need to do."

"Oh, by the way," I said, unphased by her flirting, "Did you find Five?"

One upped the intensity of her devilish smile, and surprisingly, a little bit of pink rose to her cheeks. "Yes. It looked fun. I didn't think you had it in you."

I gave her a flat look. 

She shrugged. "I'm not into the whole pain thing like Five is, but I don't mind a little bit of dominance." 

I rubbed my forehead. Whenever I thought I had found the sane one, they proved me wrong. Of course, I knew One wasn't sane, but I didn't think any of them were. At this point, Five just might be a bit of an outlier.

"How did she take it?" I asked.

"Well, once she could walk again, she absolutely loved it. Told me every single detail," One said with a smirk. "The working while you left her waiting was an inspired touch, though."

She shot me a second look. "I know you don't trust her, and I understand why you left her tied up all night. But you didn't need to."

"You said that–" I said, but One cut me off.

"If she found out, she wouldn't kill you in your sleep," One rolled her eyes. "She would be screaming at you as she tried to cut your balls off."

I flinched. Yeah, that was probably too much to ask for Five to be merciful with her killing.

"Besides, I don't think there's any danger of you slipping up now. You fit into your role pretty well now." One assured me.

I shook my head. "Maybe. But I want to tell Nine, maybe Four soon. I think there's going to be too many things that I can't just bluff my way out of, especially amongst you. I'll need all of your support."

One rubbed her chin. "Yeah, that's fair. I suppose you do. I do think eventually you can tell Five. But you want to give it time, like many months... if not years. Instead of saying you're someone else, you can just say you've lost a lot of your memories."

"That's fine. For all I know, that's exactly what happened. Maybe that night, I had an aneurysm and just forgot everything."

I doubted it, though. I didn't say it out loud, but there were too many things about the world that surprised me. Yet, basic knowledge I had told me I did know things that were common knowledge. Like the fact that people wrote with feathers. Why did that seem odd? However, I was using a fork seemed perfectly obvious to me. I was clearly someone else. I might not have any actual memories, but I did have assumptions. Assumptions that didn't line up.

One and I continued to chat about various things until we headed off to the office. Along the way, I asked, "Hey, who's taking Nine's spot this evening?"

One tapped her chest. 

"Ah, you got the whole day." I said, "Won't you need a break at some point?"

One shrugged. "Well, maybe. I didn't get to see you at all yesterday, so I don't mind."

I just shook my head, amazed at the situation I found myself in. When we got to the office, and she showed me some paperwork I could delegate, which was actually most of it, I realized I would have a lot more free time in some ways than I had expected, which I thoroughly relished.

"Hey, master," One said in a tentative voice. I looked up and met her eyes.

She continued, "I don't want to keep bringing this up after you've made a decision, but I really, really think you should bring Five."

I looked down at the papers, thinking, and I drummed my fingers on my knee in a habit I didn't realize I had. "I don't know."

"Four told me that you fought with Five against her trainees. Clearly, after seeing that, you should understand what an asset she is." One pressed.

I nodded. "Yes, that's never been in question, though." 

She tried a different angle. "Maybe you just don't understand the danger you'll be in when we are there. But even if more Numbered were here, I'd still insist on taking everyone. All nine of us likely wouldn't be enough for me to feel comfortable."

I shook my head. "At that point, I don't think more of you would help us. We'd be better off leaving when things get rough instead of trying to fight it out."

"But–"

I raised my hand to block her protest. "I'll think about it. I promise, but for now, I don't think she should come."

One nodded but still looked doubtful. I was actually glad that she was willing to speak up when she thought I was doing something wrong. She was going to be much more useful than if she was just a mindless drone.

The day went on normally, and soon we were going to bed, mostly prepared to leave. Final preparations would be done in the morning, and we would be out right after breakfast.

***

Six woke me up with a gentle shake of the shoulder. Unfortunately, she was fully dressed, though I had looked forward to her next slot. Not that I didn't enjoy spending time with any of them, but Six was especially interesting, and I wanted to get to know her better. 

"It's time to go, master," Six said with a small smile, but I could tell something in her eyes. Something was wrong.

We went and had a hearty breakfast before meeting everyone down in an antechamber of the hallway. We were ready to go. One, Four, and Six were all there, but I could see that they all looked slightly concerned, and as soon as I came in, I saw why. 

Five was kneeling in front of them, her hands clasped together. When she saw me, she turned, and my heart wrenched at the anguish in her face. 

"Master," Five cried, reaching out to touch my knee as I stopped in front of her. 

"What have I done?" She practically sobbed, tears brimming in the corners of her eyes.

"What?" I said, not having expected this reaction at all, especially not from Five, of all people.

"Oh, what have I done?" She repeated, tears dripping from the corners of her eyes and landing on her cheeks as she looked up at me. I couldn't tell if she was just playing for sympathy, trying to guilt trip me, or was honestly this distraught.

"What do you mean?" I said as I crouched down to put my hand on her head comfortingly. I didn't trust her but did not like seeing her like this. It felt gross.

"Why am I staying behind? Why are you leaving me?" She looked up at me, her lower lip quivering.

"I didn't take you when I went to the capital. I don't take everyone everywhere," I said. Five looked at me like I was crazy.

"What?" She said, her words hard to understand as they tripped out of her lips. "You weren't in danger then, but– You can't– You need me. You need me?"

"Yes, but I also need you here," I said. 

She shook her head so hard I felt her hair tear free of my fingers, and I withdrew my hand to not pull any out. "No. You're in danger. You can't. You need everyone there. Please!"

I frowned, and she bowed down, touching her forehead to my toes. "Please, master. I can't protect you while I'm here. This is a dangerous mission. I– I would fail you if I stayed behind."

I was still crouched over, pressing my hand into her shoulder, trying to comfort the absolutely distraught woman, when One stepped forward and leaned down, whispering into my ear, "She'll likely be dead when you get back if we leave her here."

"What?" I yelled, fury unexpectedly bubbling up and out of me. This was just nuts.

"What's the point? What's the point of you following me if you won't listen to what I say?" I practically yelled. I couldn't understand the idea that they would kill themselves if they displeased me. This was disturbing enough, but if I gave them an order that they felt went against their core command to protect me...

One tapped my shoulder, cutting me off, and whispered more. "We serve you. We are not your slaves. It's a small difference, I know. But you don't puppet our bodies. We choose this. This is our free will. Sure, if we defy you or fail you, we might die. But that would be our choice. And we will happily die for you. But we are not your slaves. You need to remember that."

I looked up at her. They weren't my slaves. This was the best news and the worst. "What?" I shook my head, thoroughly confused, and I reached down and tilted Five's head up to face me. I saw her red, puffy, tear-filled eyes with smudged makeup on them. 

What convinced me that she wasn't acting, though, was a little bit of snot dripping down from her nose. Five tried to wipe it away as she heaved in great breaths that shook her shoulders underneath my touch. I studied her face as our eyes locked.

"Alright," I said. "Fine. You can come."

 I paused for a second. “But–”