sigh.

I know I’m a bit mentally unhinged, but this is a first. Well, sort of. There was that one time I had sleep paralysis during a nightmare and I thought aliens were about to drug and abduct me. This feels… different though.

The words continued to hang there, sort of embedded in to the glowing white background. No matter where I turned or how far I walked, they were unchanging and always present. Assuming I was even moving, it’s hard to tell when everything looks the same.

> System Integration Initiated for #MW-239-Sol
> Divergent Anomalies Detected on #MW-239-Sol-C Locating…
> …
> You are a divergent anomaly

I decide to sit down and open my backpack. “Okay Nora, what are we going to do about this?” I say, as I hold and hug her tightly to my body. All the squishies. Squish. Squish. Everything is fine… no reason to panic. ohmigoshwhattheactualfrakishappening

Do they have toilets here?

> Isolation protocol activated.
> Divergent anomaly xb1Tb-77849-5d242-2cD98-61ae4-86P445-82fz Isolated
> Locating suitable world….

“Uhm actually I quite like my fraked up world, thanks all the same”.

I’d like to think my voice was quite calm and steady, but in reality I’m on the verge of shitting myself, so it’s hard to tell. Besides, do I really like it? Maybe this could -

> World Located: #PGS-2938271-Astria-D
> Initiating System Integration…
> Calibrating System Interface…

And without warning, I experience what is quite possibly the worst case of brain-freeze known to humankind instantaneously, with a ringing in my ears, as if all my senses were stunned. My vision is suddenly replaced by a multicoloured static noise which fades out over a few seconds. Everything is still white, but now the text is contained in a popup at the corner of my vision and the monotone voice is gone.

> Transportation to Astria-D Commencing
> Local Designation: Astrion

I blink, and as my eyes open, the white background is suddenly replaced with that of a desert made from dark grey sand and a bright blue sky. I don’t like sand, it’s rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

We’re going to regret not putting on any shoes.

“So… no toilets it is.” I say as I look around the black desert. We have a lot of problems to deal with right now, such as the blazing suns - yes, two - and the way the sand is getting caught under my toenails whilst being the same temperature as the interior of a microwaved raspberry crumble.

There are so many things to think about, that it’s giving bathtub toaster. First, we need to consider the possibility that we are more mentally unhinged than we previously thought. If I am going crazy, which is highly likely, then nothing I do will help and in fact, may result in accidental harm to myself. On the other hand, this is the most interesting thing that has happened to me since my discovery of powdered peanut butter, so we should probably just go with it. Right brain?

Right. Just… give me a minute to stop hyperventilating. ohmydogohmydogohmydog

My water flask - of a cute axolotl, mind you - has about 200ml of water, which is enough to replace about 5 seconds of sweat; I have no shoes; The only food I have is a breakfast bar from the last time I travelled; All my electronics are dead weight; I’m about to pass out and/or cry; I really want to go home; and Nora is covered in sand which means I now need to carry her with me, otherwise everything else in my backpack will be covered in sand. This is almost the worst day of my life, second only to the day I was born.

“I swear if that thing keeps blinking I’ll rip my eyes out” I exclaim, throwing my hands out. Suddenly, the following popup appears:

> Warning: System Interface functionality is not dependent on vision. Removal of ocular organs will not cease blinking.

“Just… open the damn notifications” I whine.

> System Interface Integration Successful. Divergent Anomaly has been isolated d̵̢̪̳̯̺̲͉̖̏̓̈́̃̏͑̋̃̆̌̆́͜͝ú̵̢̢̡̧̼̣̳͍̜̳̞̦̬̌ȩ̶͈̻̖̲̜̮̫͔̦͈͕͎̖̌̍̀̽̈͐͒̓̐̑̉̚̚̚͜͝ ̵̧͎͍̭̖̣̜̣͓́͊̑̑̑̉̅̀͑̈̊͜͠t̸̹̖̱̻̾͋̅̽̀̕ó̴̡̡͈̮̦̠̲̼̪͈͇̯̥̂͂̏͗̈́̅͂͜͠ ̸̳̖͑͐ ̴̖̳̈́ ̶̼͙̪̊̏́ ̶̙͇̝͒͌ ̸̱̓͛̕ ̸̲̰̳͌̎͂ ̶̠̅ ̷̫̬̤́̐̀ ̷̡̝̬͌̊ ̸̼̻̇̈́ͅ ̷͍̹͊ ̵͍̳̊͛̇ ̷̙͔̱̈̾_
> Transport to #PGS-2938271-Astria-D (Astrion) Successful.
> Warning: Contraband detected. Penalty Applied. Contraband has been removed.

What! due to what? what penalty? what contraband? I wasn’t told! I waited for a minute to see if anything would happen or if any new information would appear, but nothing did.

Around me I see dozens of dunes of various heights, and fauna dryer than rich tea biscuits, but nothing of note. It would be quite a beautiful sight, the way the suns reflect off the sand is... captivating. I could stare at it all day.

“I guess let’s try climbing one of these dunes, see if we can spot anything from higher up”

“Squawk! Seagull-Sea!”, says my poke- I mean, Nora.

We aren’t the most elegant climbers, not many sand dunes in London after all. With some effort, and a few tears, we eventually reach the top of a dune that is a few meters high.

Not high enough to see over some of the tallest of dunes, those are… so enormous that I can’t even quantify how big they could possibly be. Possibly bigger than your mum.

But we’re high enough - no, not like that - to see over a few of the smaller dunes, and gain sight of possibly the cutest thing I have ever seen.

ohmigoshfurryelephantays

A horde of elephants, or elephantays, were heading towards a large settlement. A city! Well, elephants isn’t quite right. They had long trunks like an elephant, but six legs, and they seemed to be about the size of a horse judging by the people riding them. Not to mention cute. Also, they’re unicorns. Have unicorns? Is a unicorn an animal or a type of horn? Hmmm.

On the one hand, I want to pet the elephantays. On the other hand, interacting with aliens seems like an even worse potentially awkward - no, definitely awkward - social situation than leaving my apartment was a few hours ago, and that was basically life or death; then again, I suppose this is definitely life or death. Even worse, both of my hands are covered in sand.

“I’m doing this for the elephantays”, I reassure myself while sweating. Or maybe I should call them Elecorns? Uniphants? Hmmm.

One thing is clear, there’s no way I’m going to be able to survive out here, not without my favourite blankie anyway. I’ll have to head for the city. Now I just need to nimbly and elegantly descen - “AAaaAaAAAaAaAA!”. Oh, okay, I guess I’ll just trip and sausage roll my way down. That’s fine too. sparkle Elegant sparkle

As I reach the bottom of the dune, acutely aware of every grain of sand on my body, moreso than the bruising, my bag lands awkwardly beside me as I roll over it and I suddenly remember the contraband problem. I really should take a look at what’s missing, maybe it would give me a clue as to what’s going on.

No worse for wear, I dust myself off as much as possible, which is another way of saying: ineffectively.

“I wish I didn’t have to deal with this sand”, I say while on the verge of tears. Maybe if I didn’t have sand in my tear-ducts I could actually cry.

> Reminder: You have one free skill point

“Huh? Skill point? am I in a video game or something?”

How do I spend it? Open sesame? Abracadabra? Open my character screen? They really should tell me these things.

“Show me, please”

> Skills
> SP: 1/1
> Combat Skills Available:
> - Aberrant Barrage
> - Aberrant Barrier
> - Aberrant Biceps
> - …
> Utility Skills Available:
> - Aberrant Adaptation
> - Aberrant Agility
> - Aberrant Authority
> - …

Huh, maybe I have gone insane. Why Aberrant? Is it the first word in alphabetical order? no… that can’t be right, I’m sure there’s words earlier than Aberrant. What does Aberrant even mean? Alien? I suppose I am an alien if this really is another world… It says ‘Skills Available’, so maybe it’s just the first ones alphabetically that I have access to?

Either way, there are a lot more skills to choose from than those… I’ve scrolled past hundreds and I’m only on ‘C’. What do I do? I can barely decide where I want to eat! Wait, if I have skills, does that mean I have a level? Is this kind of like a game?

“Character Information please”

> Status
> Name: Lara Rose Mycroft
> Age: 24
> Level: 1
> Ether: -10,000/1,000
> Species: Aberrant Human
> AP: 1/1
> SP: 1/1
> PP: 1/1
> Strength: 3
> Dexterity: 3
> Constitution: 3
> Intelligence: 3
> Wisdom: 3
> Charisma: 3

Well that is a lot of negative Ether. Brilliant. I can’t even catch a break in my own hallucinations. That must be the penalty it mentioned earlier regarding the contraband no one warned me about. The same contraband I keep forgetting to check on.

What the hell is ether? isn't that mana? or maybe it's XP?

If it's XP then I need to get 11,000 Ether to level up. I assume I get 1 AP, SP, and PP when I do. My stats seem.. bad? Yeah, that sounds about right. Strange they’re all the same though, I wouldn’t have expected that. I guess what I could do before the ‘System Integration’ doesn’t carry over? I was a bloody good procrastinator at the very least. Still am, if I do say so myself.

Stats are classic and self-explanatory. Strength for… well, strength. Dexterity for speed. Constitution for health; although I don’t see any health information. Intelligence for IQ? Wisdom for… okay, maybe it’s not so self explanatory. I can’t believe my Charisma is as high as everything else. Me? Good at people’ing? I think not. Clearly my ability to mask my real self has fooled even the ‘System’, or whatever it is.

Could you tell me what Wisdom means please?

…

Silence

Damn, I guess it’s not that easy. I even said please and everything. After all, no reason to get on this things bad side. I should give it a name, it feels a bit rude to just call it an ‘it’ and a ‘System’. ‘Sugar’? ‘Sexy’? ‘Systemic Oppressor’? I wonder if it - her - would care if I were to flatter or mock her.

“Hey System, I don’t know if you can understand me, but… I’m going to refer to you as Siri from now on :) I hope that’s okay”

…

Silence

Let’s try this again. “Siri, could you tell me what Wisdom is please?”

> Wisdom
> One of the seven Primary Attributes. It aids in your ability to understand the consequences of applying the knowledge you have and the intent of others; it allows you to effectively learn from your past experiences and empowers your self-identity through effective introspection. It governs emotional awareness and effective cross-language communication. It encompasses the Aspect of Instinct and the Aspect of Judgement, and keeps you in tune with the environment and creatures around you.

I think she likes the name :)