Zephilinox

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Sigh

I lay in bed, curtains drawn, darkness enveloping me. It was that wonderful time of the night, after everyone has fallen asleep, even the drunks who would otherwise be in the Bar, and before the enigmatic 'Early Birds' wake up. The few hours of any day where there is... silence. Not just in noise, but in all of my senses. No lights. No people.

Perfection.

Except, not tonight. I haven't been able to sleep, my thoughts keep going over everything that happened yesterday.

I fraked up massively. It's happened enough times now that... I understand. I understand what I'll do, why I'll do it, and how I'll convince myself this is the 'last time'. That next time, I won't make the same mistakes. I'll be better. I'll be normal.

Hah... Normal. Even the witch can tell. 'Divergent Anomaly Detected' she said. No matter what I do, how hard I try or how far I run. It's never going to happen, is it? Not even my masking skill, my 'pretend to be normal' cheat, is good enough.

> Warning: Hostile intent to harm self detected. Activating Self-preservation Protocol...
> Error: Failed to activate protocol. Protocol has been disabled.

Reminds me of home...

Classic Lara.

I wake up several hours later, after eventually exhausting myself. Light frustratingly seeps around the edges of the window curtains. I would have wanted to sleep for longer, if I could, but the light always wakes me up. I've always been a light sleeper. A skill that took me far too long to learn.

Well, I suppose in this world it would be considered a proficiency instead? Heh. As long as I can make myself chuckle... maybe things won't be too bad this time.

I get up and look at my battered self in the mirror. I hate these things. Society places our values entirely in our appearance, because it's so easily judged; and we in turn are conditioned to acquaint it to our entire self worth. A world without mirrors... or maybe one without sight. I wonder what that would look like? Hah, 'Look'.

Ugh, I'm doing it again.

I think back to Sera. I never wanted to hurt her... I just did what I thought was right. I can't stand them. Bullies, that is. I wish... I wish the me I am now could be there for me I used to be, the way I needed her to be.

I wish a lot of things could be different. I'm sorry, Rita... I'll make it up to you. I promise - and I never break a promise, so you'd better fraking still be alive.

"I'm coming to find you, so just let me take care of this first" I whisper to myself.

Right! Status!

> Strength: 2/3
> Dexterity: 1/3
> Constitution: 2/3
> Intelligence: 1/3
> Wisdom: 1/6
> Charisma: 1/3

Holy crap that's bad. I guess my [Social Battery] is really making this take a while. Well, it saved my ass, so I'll allow it.

UwU!

A smile creeps up on me. Dogsdamnit.

"I'm sorry Sera..."

I wish I could do the normal thing. Find her. Apologise. Trust her. Tell her who I am, and get her to help me in the tournament. That would be the mature thing to do. The Adult Thing.

Unfortunately for me, I'm not an adult. I'm just a self destructive bundle of fun!

Maybe I could have even found a convenient, sassy, wise, kick-ass mentor that would invest in me and teach me everything I need. That would be cool!

But I've been through this before. They never forgive. They never understand. If they do, it's just... politeness. Never genuine, which is even worse. At least be honest, so I can suffer quickly instead of dragging it out over weeks or months of fake friendship.

It's easier to just cut them off first. I'm not proud of it, but after a certain point you have to stop looking out for other peoples feelings, and focus on your own. Easier said than done, unfortunately. I won't let them win, Sera, and I know you'll never forgive me regardless, but I'll take on the burden of our friendship ending, so you don't have to.

I'll be the asshole, so we can both move on.

My eyes are red, and with tears on my face and a sniffle, I activate my [Masking] skill, and change appearance using [Biological Mimicry].

I've experimented with it before, but I didn't have much of a reason to use it to its full potential. Now though, I have a potential royal pain in the ass that might come back to bite me, and I don't want to run in to Sera if I can help it. I'll be a new me, one with pink skin... and horns.

A devil... thing. I really need to do some research on all of these species, as well as all this other shit. Oh, but I'm keeping my hair. I look way too cute to change it, though maybe... a little longer. Shoulder length. That'll do nicely.

Huh. It's nice to have a self destructive girly moment that involves hair lengthening rather than shortening, for once.

yaymagic

I do my best to clean up my room, sort out my shit, and get a move on. I change back to Lara temporarily. As much as I wish I could stay here, it's too connected to me. It's time for Lara to leave, and for...

Lily?
Lilith?
Lora?
Lena?

Actually, I need to pick a name that's more funky, less Earthy. Earthy? Earthly? Earthling-ly? Who the hell knows.

Luta?

That could work... I'll think about it.

My [Clothing Mimicry] trait lets me hide my backpack, but it's not gone, just invisible, I guess? Like an Illusion. I can still feel it, and touch it. I love the little guy, and I hate to do this, but I can't afford mistakes. If I try to hold on to it, I'm just going to end up knocking it in to something or someone will discover it and my identity will be blown.

I'm going to have to dump everything.

ohmigoshwatabou-

No, not you! You can stay. UwU!

UwU! thankies

Always, Nora.

I take one last look of my room, the only home I've known since I was kidnapped from my own on Earth. I always hate leaving... there's such a strong finality to it. I may never see this place again, but without it, where would I be? Who would I be? I might never have met Sera in the bar downstairs, which means I wouldn't have gotten in to that stuff last night. Maybe things would have been easier...

I guess that was another one of those moments, all those weeks ago. It's always hard to see them until it's too late. I suppose, this is one of them too.

I lock up and make my way downstairs. Telviv is minding the reception in the morning, as usual. No reason to complicate things and sneak out. It's time to leave.

"Good morning Telviv!" I say, approaching her.

"Oh, hello Lara! Any plans in the city today?"

"Actually, I think I'll be leaving. I need to get a move on if I want to see the rest of Astrion. I hear there are some amazing views of the Magmaflats around Droport."

"Oh! They do look spectacular, though, I've only been once. The nature of tourism. Not many things are worth going back for a second time around, isn't that right?"

"Isn't it just?" I say with a smile. "Here's my key. Is there anything else you need from me?"

"Hmm... nope! You're all settled!" she says, taking the key off me. Thank dog. I hate the texture of that thing, and the smell it leaves on my hands... Ugh.

"Good luck Lara! if you're ever back in Lumiria, you know where to find us! Hahaha!" she beams.

I'm going to miss this place.

I find an alley, dump my stuff, and change personas to... whoever this is going to be. I need information if I'm going to get anywhere in this world. I was just at the library yesterday, and it looks like I'm heading back. This time, I'm not leaving until I learn what I need to know.

What exactly does it mean to be a Divergent Anomaly? An Aberrant Human? What was that Hyperthought stuff yesterday? What happens when I level up?

I don't even know when this tournament is happening exactly.

> Ether: -16,601/1,000

...and I need to find a way to pay off this debt. Fast. I can't get stuck at level 1. I need to... actually, I don't even know how strong that bastard was. Hell, do I even know his name?

Whatever. One step at a time, no zero days. Let's go, Nora!

weee!