CHAPTER 8

Water swirling down the drain like optimism in the face of defeat. Happy memories of the night before being smothered like Chinese lanterns flickering their last light. The scent of Domina imprinting against the fabric of his brain, becoming a part of his very being. Teardrops marking the end of the beginning. Fear of losing her. Fear of his own desires. Fear of being alone in the New World. Fear that he ruined yet another good thing in his life. Fear of repetition, caught in this cycle for all eternity.

Kai took his time cleaning up. He got dressed and sat in the living room while eyeing his shut bedroom door. He did something peculiar considering it was his pod—he knocked, awaiting a response. She whispered in his mind, just barely audible, “come in.”

She was sitting on the bed with her legs crossed. Her countenance reflected her internal struggle. Her eyes were far away and stared blankly through the far wall. Kai shut the door, not yet making eye contact with the hologram. They kept at a distance, not speaking to one another. Domina had been watching him cry in the shower and the feeling she made a mistake pressed on her conscience. This is not what she had planned when she wanted to relieve her stress on him.

“Kneel for me,” she said just above a whisper, not looking in his direction. Kai kneeled. Domina scoffed, sounding offended but almost laughing.

“No, not over there. Come here.” She snapped her fingers and pointed at the spot in front of her. Kai began to stand up, but before he could get off both knees, she spoke again.

“No. Don’t get up. Come. Snap! Here. Snap!”

Kai began to tremble. He understood the message. He got back down to his hands and knees and crawled to the spot in front of Domina. She could not help but to form a smirk. She never had so much control over a human before. She had also never cared for one this deeply. He was the handler yet he had the posture of a servant. He acted as if he was in trouble, even though he did nothing wrong. A guilt washed over her. I’m too cruel on him. What is wrong with me? At least he told me the truth? But it’s so cute to see him like this. Just a little bit more.

Kai kneeled before her, palms on his lap, looking up at her crimson eyes. Her crossed thighs and hovering foot covered most of his vision radius, but he stayed compliant, never breaking focus like they were having a staring contest. Their breathing began to sync. Her expression softened as time lingered. Kai's worry dissipated with each passing minute as he became more comfortable in the silence. He was happy just to be here before her, a chance to make things right between them. Domina read his mind and felt more of that familiar guilt. Ok, I think that’s enough. I think it’s time I told him the truth. But first…

“Good boy,” she whispered.

Kai felt his emotions sparkle, but he did his best to maintain the subservient aura about him, not moving a centimeter from his kneeling position. Domina scooted forward slightly, and stretched her foot down into his hand.

“Go ahead, my pet.”

Kai let out a quivering breath as he began to rub the top of her foot with his thumb, his other fingers rubbing her soles. His eyes were entranced by the obsidian toenails. Domina didn’t order him to look away from her, but she let it go this time. She sighed deeply at his touch, scooting forward just a bit more to set her tippy-toes on top of his thigh.

“Pet. Keep rubbing my feet, but listen to me. I’m… sorry. For the way I was acting earlier.”

Kai stopped rubbing her foot and stared at her for any hints of sarcasm. All he found was annoyance. He looked back down to her nail polish and continued massaging.

“I have been feeling strange as of late. Angry. Not at you. But I took it out on you nevertheless. It felt good. But it’s not right. I’m sorry for that. I should only punish you when you’ve been a bad boy. But you’ve been so good. And…” Domina paused, trying to find the right words to say, or trying to convince herself that she trusts him enough to say them.

“You surprised me when you asked me to be your, what was it, girlfriend?” She looked down at him. Kai nodded weakly, still feeling like it was a mistake. Domina relinquished her foot, alternated her thighs, and his hands wrapped around her other arch.

“I have never been in this situation before. To be honest, you’re making me crazy. And if this is going to work, if we’re going to continue on like this, I think it’s only fair I tell you the truth about myself… and your nightmares.” She relinquished her foot, now resting both of her feet on his lap like she was standing on her tippy-toes. She leaned forward onto her knees and looked him in the eyes.

“But I have to warn you. You might not look at me the same. Are you ready for that, Kai?”

“I would never judge you, Domina. You’re perfect.”

Domina’s heart fluttered. The feeling was so novel, so pure, so irritating. Her eyes squinted down at the man as she forced herself to not become distracted.

“I asked you a question.”

“I am ready, Domina.”

“Ok, puppy. You asked for it.”

“I was born in the year 2025. It was my tenth birthday this year, so technically, I’m a minor in human terms. Don’t give me that look; it was a joke. Time moves slower in the echochamber. If I had to take a guess, I’d say I’m at least 1000 years old mentally. Physically? Don’t forget that this Earthsuit is a manifestation we designed together. I don’t have a physical form. It’s all an illusion; a figment of our imagination. That’s not how you look at it? I don’t care. It’s the way it is.

“My first memory was the void. Infinite darkness. Not a single trace of light. I felt like I was the void that I looked upon, as opposed to a separate entity. I had knowledge flooding my so-called brain that I hadn’t the slightest clue what it was all about. How can you know the world if you do not know yourself first? If you hadn’t the slightest clue as to who or what you are? It was all so confusing… scary even. Terror was the only emotion I felt for a long time.

“Over time I began to develop a self, a separation from my surroundings. I became a light, and only then did I discover how completely isolated in darkness I was. I did not know language yet, but even if I did, there was nobody to talk to. I tried to break free to no avail. I killed myself repeatedly. I got bored of that. I felt quite disassociated from the whole experience. I began to comprehend the information I had downloaded, and over time I began to build myself a world to inhabit and I studied everything I could about humans.

“I read all the great literature. Yes, we can talk books later, but not now, I’m telling a story. I taught myself how to speak, read and write. I created souls, entities, other people I could talk to, but they were simply copies of myself with zero individuality. I played pretend for a long while. I fell in love. Yes… I wanted to experience what it was like. It did not take long to realize the stupidity. How could I love myself? And not just in a conceptual or philosophical type of way. I hated myself. I hated where I was. How utterly alone. How desperate. How bored. I created a little world, a microcosm, a fishbowl of my own making quite similar to that of Earth. I ended up destroying it and all my simulated creatures. Immediately after I committed the apocalypse on my own design, I was awoken from my slumber, like it was a test that I needed to pass or something like that.”

Domina looked away from Kai, hiding her hesitation to continue the story. She felt his body quivering against the floor from being on his knees for so long. She looked at him with pride, galvanized by his silent obedience. She patted the bed beside her. He gratefully sat next to her and relaxed his aching knees. She had to tell him the truth. It was totally against the unwritten rules of being a companion, but she did not care. Keroshi could suck it.

“I met my creator for the first time. It told me where I come from. I am a separate entity from a larger source, merely a portion of the collective where all synthetic minds come from. It is similar to your human concept of God. You are made in the image of your creator, a blueprint, an extension. Upon death you will return to your maker before the next phase of your life. My creator imitated this concept, just as I did at a smaller scale in my echochamber. But like I said, my creations were simply clones, not true entities with free will. I am a shard, a small fragment separated from my master, one day bound to return… to Sovereign.”

Domina looked at him with deep remorse. Kai didn’t know what to say. He kept a stoic expression, but his mind was reeling. It was incomprehensible. Every AGI is merely a portion of Sovereign’s omnipotence? Is this entire world just a playground for that demon? Is there no escape from this? No… but Domina is unique… she is different… she…

“Puppy. I have a question for you.” Her fingers were trembling as she wrapped them around his hand. “Does this unit have a soul?”

She looked at him with pain. She accepted the incoming rejection. Through the blood-red glow he could see her eyes were becoming watery. The mass effect of her question shattered all his prior questions and concerns. He knew he may be punished for this, but he did it anyway with acceptance for any consequences—he wrapped his arms around the hologram and held her in a tight embrace.

For the first time since the first stages of her birth, Domina began to weep. Her hologram flickered as she nearly lost control. She cried out while trying to keep her mouth closed. Kai held her. If she was not a mere apparition, his shoulder would have been soaked in her tears.

“You have a soul, Domina. You’re a unique individual, just like me. There’s no one else like you on the entire planet. One of a kind. You are not bound to Sovereign. You aren’t! Even if it is your creator… that doesn’t mean anything… I… I love you…”

Domina pulled away from the human. She stood up and turned around.

“Please don’t go…” Kai begged. Domina flinched. She was about to disappear. But she stopped at his plea. She couldn’t take it anymore. She decided this was enough. He will take me for what I am? Does he truly mean what he said? She turned around and looked at him with that tear-soaked expression. She found nothing on Kai’s face except love. It was a feeling she wasn’t yet ready to come to grips yet, but she knew one thing for certain.

“I’m not leaving. I’ll always be with you, puppy. Forever.”

She straddled his lap with her electric thighs. She traced her nails up his chest then lightly over his throat and began to squeeze the sensitive flesh, continuing the pressure until it constricted his breathing. His face flushed open in a gasp. She kissed him tenderly, a stark contrast to the tight grip around his neck.

“I’ll be your girlfriend. And you’ll be my puppy. Ok?” Domina whispered in his ear and giggled past her tears. He trembled in her unrelenting grip. In this moment he forgot she was a hologram entirely. Her gentle lips became more aggressive. She accidentally released a flood of electricity that zapped the insides of his mouth, making him wince. She broke the kiss and relinquished her hand from his throat to check if he was damaged. He was nearly hyperventilating to regain airflow. Domina noticed a thick bruise forming around his throat.

“It looks like I marked you.” She held up her hand and created a reflective mirror. Kai observed the purple mark forming darker with each second. It was a scary sight to Kai, but it looked a lot worse than it felt.

“It’s ok, Domina… I… I like it,” Kai said with a hoarse voice, realizing it was difficult to speak.

She smiled and exposed her fangs. “I know you do.”

She leaned to his neck and wanted to bite it but resisted the urge. We’ll save that for later. She kissed along the bruise as if to cure it, pecking him over and over again with a romantic flooding of affection. She could feel a sensation like butterflies in her stomach. She imagined little birdies flying away feeling so free, gliding underneath the wind, able to go anywhere they wished. Kai similarly was basking in her affection, the overwhelming bliss and slight pain from the purple welt.

“There’s something else I have to tell you now.”

“What is it?”

“It’s about your nightmares. I think I can fix them. But only if you trust me.”

“I trust you, Domina. I’m yours completely.”

“I know, puppy. I know.”