Chapter Notes: Yuri schoolgirl possession TG horror. Suicidal ideation. Internalized transphobia.

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You're a bit shaky as you stagger out from under the piano bench. "Why ... " You cough, in your new fox body. "Why are you doing this?"

It occurs to you that your "body" is glowing white and slightly transparent.

"Because WHITE! PEOPLE! WEARING! KIMONO! IS! CULTURAL! APPROPRIATION!" Tamamo-chan snaps the scissors dangerously close to Aizawa-san's face, to punctuate each word.

She glares down at you as she does so.

You stare right back, beginning to comprehend.

"Ai-chan, dear." Minato-senpai addresses Aizawa-san's body. "I don't know how to put this delicately, but did you get a good look at your face in the mirror? Right after waking up here, I mean."

"I did! And then I blocked it out of my mind, just like THAT." Tamamo-chan elbows the full-length mirror on the laundry cart, shoving it back a metre or so and cracking it all the way down. "But if it's your precious 'Ai-chan' you mean to address, she's down there."

Tamamo-chan carelessly gestures at you with the scissors.

Ha-chan runs to the piano bench. "Ai-chan, are you okay?!" she whispers, and crouches beside you.

You start to take a deep breath to address her, when you realize that you have no need of it. "I am," you whisper back. "I guess this is just what I look like when I'm not possessing anyone."

"If you want to address ME," Tamamo-chan goes on, "an imperial courtesan of the first rank, you will call me Tamamo-sama! Or Tamamo-no-Mae, if you like." She spreads the scissors in front of Aizawa-san's face, like a paper fan. "I don't mind ~ "

"Ah, yes. How could I fail to recognize such an esteemed personage?" Minato-senpai somehow manages to lay it on that thick without sounding at all patronizing, despite what happened a couple of moments ago. "Welcome to our humble abode, ojousama." She bows deeply to Tamamo-no-Mae. "To what do we owe the honour of this visit?"

Tamamo-chan cackles madly. "Oh my goddess, you're laying it on thick, aren't you? It's sure an improvement on the last couple times I tried to be seen as a Japanese girl. Like, the last one was day before yesterday, and WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT WENT!"

You remember how your dream ended, now.

Your face smacking into the concrete.

And it wasn't a dream, it was a memory. But was it yours ... or your big sister's?

Your big sister, the only other fox in the room.

She is a fox, right?

"How do you reconcile your belief that your wearing a kimono is cultural appropriation," you ask, "with the fact that you are claiming to be an historical Japanese foxwoman?"

"CLAIMING to be? Fuck no. I AM her. I just didn't realize until yesterday that all these years, when I prayed at my personal shrine, I was talking to myself." Her own fox ears poke out from Aizawa-san's hair, and she parts the kimono's cloth some to allow a bouquet of fox tails to swarm their way out behind her. "Much better." She grins.

"Okay." You nod, doing your best not to betray your nervousness. Not to feel nervous at all. "But is an historical Japanese foxwoman not allowed to wear Japanese garments?"

Tamamo-chan cackles madly again, still holding the scissors in both hands and waving them in front of her like a dousing rod. "A Japanese foxwoman, you say. Do you have any idea how a fox becomes Japanese?"

"Waking up here is a good start," Minato-senpai says, her round European eyes half-lidded.

"NO. It's NOT. And I'll tell you why. Because you can't! No one BECOMES Japanese, fools. It's something you're born into, or not at all. And if you aren't, or you JUST! DON'T! LOOK IT!" She screams this at Minato-senpai. "Then you'll NEVER be Japanese!

"This is the SECOND time that I've looked like this. That I've had these facial features." Tamamo-chan lets go of the scissors with one hand to pull down her bottom eyelid, then lets it snap back into place. "And what do you think happened the first time, back in history? Go on, guess!"

Ha-chan raises her hand nervously, still kneeling beside you. "D-didn't you try to poison the Emperor?"

"Oh, of course! And do you know why? Because when you REALLY. WANT. TO KILL SOMEONE," she jerks the scissors dangerously close to her face as she says that, "you always have a good reason! I mean, I was a fox, so what business could I possibly have trying to pretend to be human? That witch Daji screwed things up with China's royalty, so CLEARLY I was here to do the same to the Emperor!"

She giggles like the schoolgirl she is, covering her mouth daintily with one hand. But when she speaks again, she's glaring at you and Ha-chan.

"No one wants to say that they murdered a woman in cold blood. They want to say that they slew a fearsome beast. So that's how history remembers me."

She starts and giggles again, as though remembering something funny. "Just like how when I got reborn as a guy, I found out no one on Tumblr wants to say 'I drove somebody's little sister to suicide!' Instead it's all, 'we did a CALLOUT.' 'We CANCELLED her.' 'We defended the children!' Just, you know, not her."

She gives you what feels like a deeply pained look.

You think you know why.

Minato-senpai takes a deep breath. "I am truly sorry for the way that my ancestors-"

"YOUR ancestors are from fucking Europe, h-"

Tamamo-chan uses a slur that means "half-breed."

"So shut the fuck up, okay? You have about as much right to speak on behalf of Japan as I do. And I'm not even human!" She spreads the scissors like a fan again, covering her mouth as she laughs.

It doesn't work well.

You think that Minato-senpai might be on the verge of losing her composure.

"Um, I am!" Ha-chan raises her hand again. "A Japanese human, I mean! Before and after I came here. And, um ... " She twiddles her thumbs nervously. "I think what those people did was mean and unfair, and you should've just been allowed to be yourself?"

"Are you MAD?! If I am allowed to exist, then people will see me every time they talk about trans girls like you. They'll think 't******s and cross-dressers are just as deluded as those weebs who think that they're Japanese! We shouldn't give rights to any of them!'"

Another maniacal laugh. "HAHAHAHAHA! Cross-dressers are so funny! Pretending to be someone you weren't born as ... that's hilarious!" She carelessly wipes a tear from her eye, with the same hand that's carrying the scissors. "You just want to lure men into bed with you, in order to TRAP them!"

Ha-chan blushes hard, and stares at the floor. You don't think she's blushing in a good way.

It's possible that you've reached your limit.

"Spit it out, asshole." You take a step forward, and speak in a measured tone that just slightly betrays your anger. "You still haven't answered me. So be honest. Why are you doing this?"

Tamamo-chan grins evilly. "Well, I tried to hold on despite everything, but it looks like I'm not going to be around for tonight's episode of Hundred Lights, Hundred Nights. So I decided 'fuck this, we're doing it live!'"

She spins around in place on her bare feet, her kimono and tails fluttering, as the room abruptly darkens to pitch black.

A moment later, Ha-chan gasps as a bloody wooden table appears in front of her. On it are ninety-eight burnt out candles, and two that are still lit.

"You know what, Hazawa-san? I like your interpretation of what the candles mean. I like it so much, I've decided to make it canon."

Tamamo-no-Mae is wearing her fox mask, just like she did in the last episode that she hosted. You note that it has large eyeholes this time.

"So tell me, little girl. Who dies tonight? The bushy-tailed heroine, or THIS sick fuck, right here?" She jabs at herself with the scissors. "Just keep in mind, you'll be punished if you answer wrongly ~ "

Your fox ears perk, as Minato-senpai's watch chimes during Tamamo-chan's spiel. She looks down at it, then taps it and whispers something into it. Tamamo-chan carries on ranting and taunting Ha-chan as though she doesn't notice.

Maybe it's the mask, you think.

And maybe it's the way the candles are placed, but when you look up at Ha-chan her eyes are in shadow. Just like in all those manga.

She's squeezing her hands into fists, now kneeling beside you, and speaks without looking up. "You are not hurting Ai-chan," she says. "So why don't you just kill yourself, you monster!"

Now you can see her whole face. There are tears in her eyes.

You try to nuzzle her consolingly, but your muzzle just passes right through her.

"Such a bold answer! And yet so reasonable ~ " Tamamo-chan lifts her mask just a bit and fans herself with the scissors. "Really, why SHOULDN'T I kill myself again, since the last time didn't take? We all want to finish what we've started, do we not?"

"You don't know how death works here yet," Minato-senpai says, "do you?"

"E-excuse me?!"

"You of all people should know that the soul persists after the body is gone. You, who were sealed in the Sessho-seki after your death. But what happens to ordinary souls, between death and rebirth?" Minato-senpai gestures around her. "Many end up in places like Inori Academy. Worlds where your deepest unfulfilled longings can be met."

"What if," Tamamo-chan growls, "my deepest unfulfilled longing is to KILL MYSELF?!"

You have to admit, she didn't quite get what she wanted, there.

Minato-senpai shakes her head. "If that's what you'd truly wanted, then your soul would be in oblivion now. You're here because you accepted the invitation."

Tamamo-chan gives the most unhinged laugh you've heard her make, tonight. "Fucking idiots! What did they think they were doing, inviting TAMAMO-NO-MAE to a girls' high school?! Did they WANT ghost stories to happen?"

Her voice becomes much colder. "Because that's how you make ghost stories happen."

A blast of cold wind comes out of nowhere, making Ha-chan shiver and hug herself as the candles flicker above.

You don't feel anything. That's because you're a ghost.

"Take one mentally ill, vengeful fox spirit, who REMEMBERS who she is now. Add school hallways at night, adolescent hormones, cursed videos, and gore. Then stir ... gently." She makes a stirring motion with the scissors.

"You're not really vengeful, though," you say. "Are you?"

"Beg pardon, little kit?" She puts one hand to her fox ear.

"Because if you were, you'd be haunting transphobes and Tumblr. You'd be going after the girl who broke our big sister's heart. You'd be going after the Japanese-[YOUR NATIONALITY] queen bee who broke mine. You'd play Final Fantasy XIV from the spirit world, and kill your Free Company's members off one by one."

"W-who says I'm not going to do that?!" She hugs herself with her free hand.

"You did, Tamamo-née." Big sister. "You said you're not going to make it to tonight's episode. You said your biggest unfulfilled longing was death."

"I-I was speaking in hypotheticals, there!" She stamps her foot, and then winces since she has Aizawa-san's body's sore legs.

"But you meant it, Onée-chan. And you meant it for the same reason you killed yourself the first time. The same reason I did. Because you broke yourself fighting back. You lost all will to live, in the process of standing up for yourself."

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT CONVERSATION WAS LIKE?!" Screenshots float in the air behind her, hovering gently like ghostly paintings. "Do you know what I did to them?!"

You shake your head.

"I asked my LGBTQ+ Free Company if they thought this could even exist. They said 'no, trans-racial isn't a thing.' I said 'My SISTER was like this, you fools!' They said 'no, she wasn't, because science.' So I was like 'okay, you know what? TRANSGENDER ISN'T REAL EITHER. You, you, and you, you're all guys. And you, you're a girl. You always have been. Stop deluding yourselves. If my dysphoria is made up, yours is too.'" She laughs bitterly. "As though I don't know what gender dysphoria feels like."

Ha-chan shivers and hugs herself.

You are beginning to understand how someone could say the cruel things that Tamamo-née said in her video, last night.

"They were all 'GASP, how could you say such a thing? You monster!'" Tamamo-née clutches imaginary pearls to her chest. "And I was like 'hold onto your striped socks, 'cause I'm about to say a lot worse!'"

You lower your head to the floor, and look up at your sister submissively. "I'm sorry I wasn't there to help, Onée-chan."

"So I told them that- what?"

"I'm sorry," you say again. "I should have been there for you. To back you up, the way that you did for me."

"T-that didn't work out so well," your big sister stammers. "L-like, it's my fault that you weren't around then. Okay?"

You stand up and shake your head. "I knew that being around this girl and her friends hurt me a lot. I only stayed because I thought her opinion was more important than mine. That it counted for more, because she was a real Japanese girl and I wasn't."

Ha-chan reaches out to try to pet you, and pouts when it doesn't work.

"In the end, both of our boundaries were violated, and our sense of self was trampled on. We had revealed the most personal thing about ourselves, made ourselves vulnerable in the utmost way, and gotten destroyed for it. And we had very good reason to believe that no one could ever sympathize."

Tamamo-née audibly gulps.

"But it turns out that someone did, big sis. Whomever built this academy, it sounds like they made it just for you. For people like you, who desperately long to be Japanese girls."

"You wouldn't have gotten an invitation, if you did not fall into that category." Minato-senpai nods, her arms folded.

"O-okay. Let's be honest here, then. Let's be reasonable." The scissors are hanging from Tamamo-née's hand, now. You briefly wonder if you could snatch them, before remembering you're incorporeal. "Because the life of a Japanese high school girl sucks balls. Okay? You don't have a computer, club meetings and homework take up all your free time, and your friends from middle school go to a different high school across town. Besides that, you graduate after three years, and if you don't get into a good college your life is over. So like, this is NOT Heaven. It's too shitty and transitory for that.

"I mean, sure, ANIME Japanese schoolgirls are living the life. They act so carefree, hanging out with their girlfriends at hot springs and beach episodes. Maybe doing a little yuri-ai." She lifts up the mask just enough that she can lick the air suggestively. "Their biggest flaw is that they're clumsy or tsundere, and their biggest goal is becoming an idol, or sneaking in a makeout session with their lesbian lover. You know? They live in an ideal fantasy world."

Ha-chan starts giggling uncontrollably, not in a scary way but in a genuinely mirthful one.

"The hell? What's so funny?"

"Are you okay?" you ask Ha-chan.

She's actually wiping tears from her eyes. "Tamamo-chan d-doesn't know-"

"What do you suppose would be most Heavenly," Minato-senpai wonders out loud, "for someone who thinks that's an 'ideal fantasy world?' Hmm?"

"I get the feeling I am being talked down to, here." Tamamo-née folds her arms.

"Only 'cause you didn't realize," Ha-chan tries to breathe in between all her laughing, "that we're IN an anime world!"

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"You're an anime girl! And this is a schoolgirl anime!"

Tamamo-née jumps backwards. She looks down at herself. She looks over at you. She lifts the fox mask, and checks her reflection in the cracked mirror.

Her wide-eyed, cel-shaded reflection.

You are starting to feel a bit shaky, on your ghostly legs. "She isn't the only one who did not realize that."

"Oh geeze, I'm so sorry, Ai-chan! I thought it was pretty obvious!"

"I just assumed that my memories of what the world looks like were misleading."

Tamamo-née is still staring at her reflection, now touching Aizawa-san's face. She is shaking.

"This is wrong ... " she whispers.

"I think you'll find that it is an act of karmic justice," Minato-senpai states. "You'll learn all about it in second year."

"N-no, this ... this is horrible ... " She's shaking so hard now. She's almost dropped the scissors.

Tamamo-née slumps to her knees in front of the mirror. "I-I don't deserve this! I'm too dangerous! Too unhinged! I-I'm a danger to everyone!"

Minato-senpai shakes her head. "I told you, you don't understand how death works here."

"How does death work here?" Ha-chan raises her hand sheepishly.

"They talk about it in second year."

"SHE KILLED HERSELF!" Tamamo-née clings to her own sides, dropping the scissors with a loud clatter. "I couldn't stop her! I had to watch my big sister do it all over again, and read her damn suicide note! SHE'S GONE!" Tamamo-née turns to face Minato-senpai, tears streaking down her face.

Aizawa-san responds in a quiet voice. "I don't think I am ... not really, anyway."

Tamamo-née gasps. "S-sis ... ?"

Out of the mirror steps another glowing, translucent figure like you. Except this one looks just like Aizawa-san's body, and is wearing a schoolgirl uniform.

"I'm sorry, Tamamo-chan. It was just too big of a shock ... to be alive again, in a dream come true. It couldn't be real ... I couldn't accept it. Not after what that dream had cost me. So I ... I did my best to kill it."

"I'm so sorry!" Tamamo-née takes the fox mask off and prostrates herself, sobbing helplessly, in front of the both of your big sister.

The lights come back on.

The table with all the candles disappears.

Marie-san is holding a cast iron frying pan at the ready, not three feet away from Tamamo-née.

When she realizes she's not in the shadows anymore, she hurries back to her Master's side, holding the frying pan behind her back.

"You deserve this, big sis." Tamamo-née sniffles, and doesn't look up. "This body. This dream world. This LIFE. This is what you deserved all along. You, and her." She lifts a tail, to point it in your direction. "You both deserve this anime yuritopia."

It's odd, you think. You can hear the words your big sister is saying, but they don't seem to make any sense. Not when she tries to make them about you. What could they possibly mean?

"I ... I did something horrible. To your memory. To everyone watching our channel." She sniffles again. "Also, I think I got us banned from YouTube."

"That wasn't actually her?" You are confused.

"Oh, dear. This sounds like a long story ... but you'll have plenty of time for it later, okay? You've been here a day longer than I have, Tamamo-chan. As my senior, you have to show me around." The girl that you know as Aizawa-san smiles.

"But HOW?" She looks up at Aizawa-san. "You're dead! I stole your body!"

"From me," you mutter at the floor.

"I'm sure there's someone who can take care of that ... right?" Aizawa-san gives Minato-senpai a hopeful look.

Your senior whips out her school notebook, and taps the screen a couple of times. "Moshi moshi ~ is this the headmistress? I'm deeply sorry to call on you on such short notice, but ... "

You start to feel dizzy, from everything that just happened. This afternoon, last night, and yesterday. You tune out their conversation and try to sit back down, and almost trip over your fox legs.

When you look up at Ha-chan, she is staring between you and the others. "You didn't tell me you had sisters!"

" ... I assumed that I remembered that wrongly, too."