Chapter 3 ~ The Kingsroad ~

I sat in Bran's chambers with mother, watching him sleep, Maester Luwin said if he survived the next two nights he'd be out of the dangerous part, but until then all we could do was pray, I eyed my mother who was still in her bedclothes, she'd hardly slept and it was showing. 

"Mother you should get some rest, I'll watch over Bran" she met my eyes and shook her head silently making me sigh, a knock sounded on the door and Cersei stepped into the room, mother and I both stood and went to curtsy but she held her hand up to stop us. 

"Please," she said, her eyes went to Bran and then to me and we shared a sad smile, she was here to console mother. 

 "I would have dressed, your Grace," mother said, her voice husky from crying. 

 "This is your home. I'm your guest," Cersei told mother to ease her worries, mother nodded and Cersei gestured for her to take her seat again, "Handsome one, isn't he?" She mumbled and I chuckled slightly and nodded, my brother was a handsome looking boy "I lost my first boy, a little black-haired beauty. He was a fighter too... Tried to beat the fever that took him" Cersei got choked up and I grabbed her hand in comfort, I'd heard this story when I was younger, I'd shared my fears of childbirth and she'd told me her story "Forgive me, It's the last thing you need to hear right now" she wiped her eyes quickly and shook her head. 

 "I never knew," mother said her eyes widened at the information that she was being given. 

 "It was years ago. Robert was crazed, beat his hands bloody on the wall, all the things men do to show you how much they care... The boy looked just like him. Such a little thing... A bird without feathers," she looked at Bran once more and continued her story, her strength showing "They came to take his body away and Robert held me. I screamed and I battled, but he held me. That little bundle. They took him away and I never saw him again. Never have visited the crypt, never," she whispered the last part and I felt a tear run down my cheek "I pray to the Mother every morning and night that she return your child to you," she looked to my brother who nodded. 

 "I am grateful.." mother told her, Cersei nodded, kissed my forehead gently and went to leave the room. 

 "Perhaps this time she'll listen," she said before leaving us in silence once more, mother met my eyes and she stood up, quietly walking over to me she pulled me into a hug and held me tightly. 

 "Go, Wolfling, get ready to leave in the morrow" she let me go slightly and I shook my head quickly. 

 "I'm not leaving mother, not when Bran's like..." I looked at him and swallowed the sob that was trying to choke me "like this" 

 "You will, Wolfling, your brother will be fine, I'll be making a prayer wheel for him," she cupped my cheeks with her soft hands and wiped my tears away from my eyes "go to your husband, your father said he was worried for you" the thought of leaving Bran and going to Jaime made my stomach twist. 

 "Mother, I failed" I mumbled crumpling into her arms "I promised that I would protect them, and I failed, Bran is hurt because I was too busy with Jaime" my sobs became hysterical hiccups and mothers arms tightened around me more, "I'm always there to catch Bran and I wasn't there, I should've been" 

 "No sweet thing, you did not fail," she kissed my forehead and pulled my head away from her chest so I could look in her eyes, "Bran loves you so much, as do we all, never blame yourself for things you cannot control" she wiped my tears away "live your life and when Bran wakes up you'll have stories to tell him" 

 The door opened slowly and Jon poked his head in, he saw the state I was in and rushed forward, mother let me go and Jon gathered me into his arms "it's okay, he's strong and he's stubborn" he leant his forehead against mine and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. 

 "I'll leave you then," I mumbled, I kissed my brother on the cheek before going to my mother and pulling her into an embrace, her arms shook at she held me just as tight, "I love you mother, remember that" I kissed her cheek and glanced at Jon who was gently touching Bran's forehead, "be kind to him" I met her eyes and she sighed. 

 I left the room and headed down the stairs as father headed up the "how are you?" He asked, stopping me on a step above him so we were at eye level. 

 "I'll be alright once Bran is awake" I mumbled, I felt him touch my cheek and I looked to see him smiling at me, "I better pack for the trip," I kissed his cheek and continued before stopping and calling up to him "oh, father, rescue Jon will you? He's alone with mother in Bran's room" he chuckled and nodded before turning and leaving. 

 I opened my chambers door and found Jaime sitting on the bed with Storm laying on her back, enjoying the belly rub he was giving her "you know" I heard him say quietly to the wolf "your owner is a strong beautiful woman," he went to move his hand but she whined and he chuckled "alright a minute more but then I have to go find my wife"

 "You don't need to find her," I said as I came more into the room, I laughed as Jaime's hand stopped petting Storm and he looked up at me startled "I see you've tamed not one but two wolves" I smirked as I went closer to him, mother was right, I had to continue to live. 

 "It's my charms," he said, he opened his arms and I straddled his waist "how do you feel?" He asked, brushing my plated hair over my shoulder so it hung down my back. 

 "I will live," I said bringing his lips to mine as I rocked myself against him gently causing him to groan "right now," I said as I moved from his lips to his cheek and then to his neck "I want to lose myself in my husband and forget everything but his name and the pleasure he gives me" I gasped when his hips connected to mine and I pushed him back into the bed.  

—————

 The time to leave Winterfell came faster then I had expected and so did the goodbyes, I scooped a sobbing Rickon into my arms and pepper his face with kisses, "listen to me little one, I need you to be brave" I said as I cradled his head against my neck, "I need you to look after Robb and mother for me, can you do that?" I felt him nod and a kissed his head again, "Storm will help you keep Theon in line as well" he lifted his head and tilted it to the side. 

 "She's not going with you?" He asked quietly and I shook my head, unlike my sisters I knew Storm did not belong in the South. 

 "No she belongs here in Winterfell, sweet one" I rubbed my nose on his, "besides, who else is going to beat up Theon when he's being mean?" I asked making him laugh, "be a good boy for Robb and mother" I kissed him one last time and went to where Jon and Robb were hugging.

 "Come to say goodbye too, Wolfling?" Robb asked with a chuckle and he pulled me into a bear hug and squeezed me tightly. 

 "Only because if I didn't you'd go crying to mother" I replied with my own laugh, we pulled away from one another "if you need anything, I'm only a raven away," I said, my hands not leaving his shoulders. 

 "When you leave the gates don't look back, it'll make it harder if you do," he told me, kissing my forehead once more he helped me into my horse as Jaime came up to us on his stallion, "take care of her Kingslayer," Robb said gruffly, trying to stop himself from showing emotion. 

 "I will," Jaime vowed, a horn blasted twice signalling our departure and I urged Ember on with Jaime and my side and I had to fight myself to not look back like Robb said, I felt a hand grab mine and I glanced at Jaime who brought it to his lips and kiss it gently. 

 

 By noontime we came to a fork in the road, it was a direct line to The Wall and where Jon, Uncle Benjen and Lord Tyrion, who had told me he was going to piss off the top of the wall, were splitting up with the rest of our caravan. I hopped off of Ember and tackled Jon in a hug, my brother was taking the Black like uncle Benjen, "Ris, you have to let me go eventually" he mumbled as father had to forcefully remove me from Jon. 

 "I'll miss you," I said, my eyes stinging with unshed tears, "send me a raven when you can, if I don't hear from you I'll come up there" I threatened to make father and Jon chuckle, father kissed my forehead. 

 "I need to speak with Jon," father gave me a look that said 'alone' I nodded and threw my arms around Jon's shoulders tightly. 

 "If they give you a hard time, beat them into the dirt" I whispered before kissing his cheek, I waved at Tyrion and Benjen who passed us on their horses and made my way to Ember who was grazing nearby. 

 "Why don't you give her a break," Jaime said from his saddle, he held his hand out as a squire grabbed Ember's reins "ride with me for a while" I couldn't stop my grin as I clamped my hand onto his and let him haul me up onto his horse behind him, I noticed that there was a thick piece of fabric under my thighs meaning he'd been planning this. 

 "I could join the Queen, her children and my sisters in the carriage," I said into his ear as he urged his stallion, who'd I'd learned was called Glory, his squire Lewys named him, back into the caravan. 

 "Now where would the fun be in that?" He asked with a chuckle as I tightly wrapped my arms around his waist and leant my head against his back. 

 I thought for a moment, glanced around us to see we were behind everyone and slowly smiled cheekily, my hands lowered slightly and I stopped them when I felt his breath catch "you're right, Ser Jaime," I whispered as I found the tie to his britches and slowly unlaced them "that would be no fun" I put my hand under his small clothes and lightly squeezed him with my palm. 

 "Gods" I heard him choke as I slowly started to move my hand, "you are an evil temptress and I shall get you back for this" he growled out when I rubbed my thumb over the tip on him. 

 "You're welcome to try, Ser Jaime" I giggled as I continued to tease him. 

 —————

 Just before nightfall we made camp at a point between Winterfell and Cerwyn, the army that the King had brought with him readied the tents while cooks and squires ran around with food for the Lords and Ladies that accompanied the caravan, everyone was exhausted by the days ride and there wasn't much discussed at dinner, Jaime whisked me away from our families, stating that we were both tired from the days' ride. 

 "Now my evil temptress" he mumbled as he undid my riding tunic and pushed the amour I was wearing, as you never know when you may be attacked, to the ground of our tent "I'm going to have my debts paid for what you have done to me all day" he grinned bending me over his arms he attacked my neck with his lips, nipping and suckling on the soft skin that connected my neck to my shoulder, "a Lannister always pays their debts and you are a Lannister" I felt him bite down making me gasp with excitement, I'd teased him gently all day with my hand, never letting him reach what he wanted most, he'd threatened many times to switch our positions and take me in full view of everyone so they knew who belongs to who, each time I chuckled and squeezed him gently but he never followed through with his threats. 

 "Oh well, Ser Jaime, it seems you'll have to take your pound of flesh" I giggled softly, aware the others would be able to hear us if we were too loud.  

—————

 We lay in one another's arms, our breathing was slowly getting back to normal, Jaime's head on resting on my chest and I gently stroked his hair, "tell me something about you that nobody knows" I mumbled, as his fingers rubbed small circles on my ribs. 

 He lifted his head up and stared into my eyes "if I tell you this I need your promise to secrecy" I nodded and mumbled out an 'I promise' he took a deep breath and laid his head back down onto my breastbone "Cersei and I used to be lovers" he mumbled, I tensed for a moment but when he met my eyes again I forced myself to calm down. 

"Are you still?" I asked the one question that was on the tip of my tongue, like a bad taste, what would I do, if they were still lovers? My stomach flipped and I swallowed back the bile that rose in my throat. 

 

"No, we stopped a long time ago," he looked at me again and sighed, adjusting himself on the bed so I could look him in the eyes "for centuries Targaryen's have been wedding brothers and sisters, Cersei and I are two parts of a whole person, I loved her for years until we agreed it was too dangerous" he stroked my cheek and I wasn't sure how to react to his touch, "when she came to me with fathers letter saying I might be betrothed to you, we talked for a long time, she trusts you and so do I" I nodded and blinked my tears away. 

 "When I was younger," I mumbled, having never spoken about this to anyone, "I was in love with Jon, I was always around him, he was always strong and able to protect me when I couldn't protect myself" I shook my head and met his curious eyes "Maester Luwin found out, I don't know how but he knew about my feelings for Jon and took me under his wing, told me that sometimes we can't help how we feel and that to act on it at a young age could be foolish," I chuckled slightly at the memory, me begging him not to say a word to mother and father, him telling me that he serves the lord of Winterfell but promised nevertheless "what I am saying is I understand why you felt the way you did for Cersei" 

 He released the breath I didn't notice he was holding and pressed his lips to mine, "I love Cersei, I always will but my love for her has changed" he told me, leaning his head against mine, he rubbed his nose along mine and smiled when I looked at him cross-eyed. 

—————

 We arrived at Darry 6 weeks after leaving Winterfell, the King decided that it was time for us to have a break, letting the horses and men relax until we pack up once more in the morrow, I'd decided while people were spending their day back at the Inn that I would spend it exploring, Jaime was busy guarding the King so I was accompanied by several Lannister guards, the day had gone by quickly and I found myself holding a distraught Arya in my arms as she sobbed uncontrollably, she had gotten into a fight with Joffery, Nymeria, Arya's Direwolf, had bitten him and both Arya and Nymeria had run away, she had to make Nymeria leave for her own safety which had ended up with father killing Sansa's wolf Lady to satisfy the Queen. 

 "Sweet one I must go talk to father, " I unwound her arms from my own and kissed her forehead, "try to get some sleep, " I laid her down onto her feather bed and pulled her furs up to her chin "Nymeria will be perfectly fine, she is yours" she nodded and buried her head into the soft pillows. 

 I hurried to my father's chamber and knocked on the heavy door twice before entering "Anaris, you should be in bed" father glanced up from the note he was writing to look at me. 

 "I heard about Lady," I said, stepping more into his chambers and closing the door tightly behind me, father sighed deeply and rubbed his forehead as if he was in pain.

 "I know you don't agree with what I had to do Ris, I don't want to fight with you as well" the hand he was using to rub his forehead went to his face and he leaned back in his seat, the weeks on the road seem to have aged him considerably and he just looked tired. 

 "I'm not here for that, " I said, I rounded the desk he was using and crouched down next to him and took his face in my hands "you're sending her body away tonight?" I asked and he nodded, "if I write instructions for Robb, will you make sure they get to him" he raised his eyebrow in question, "she needs to be buried in a proper place" I let go of his face and stood to my full height. 

 "You're too good, Anaris, " father said as I quickly wrote a letter to Robb telling him to bury Lady in the place where Sansa and I picnic on sunny days. 

 "I was raised well" I replied with a chuckle, I sealed the letter with my own Direwolf seal and handed the drying parchment to father "she deserves a proper Northern burial" with that I left the room and went to my chambers where Jaime was already in bed, his arms folded behind his head, waiting for me.