"Haaa... hump... I think we've lost them," Korosaku panted, trying to catch his breath.

"Haaa... Glad that Kou-chan is reliable as ever," the small guy praised, his voice filled with relief as he gasp for more air.

"Of course it's me, who else can you depend on?" He responded confidently.

"Hahaha..." The sound of their laughter echoed through the wide forest we're in.

I couldn't fully immerse myself in the moment. My thoughts kept drifting back to the shadowy figures pursuing us, and the dangers we narrowly escaped.

"Hey Matsuki, no need to be so serious," Korosaku said, slapping my back, acting all chummy.

I forced a smile, trying to shake off the lingering unease. 

"All is good. We managed to get away from them." But deep down, I knew my troubles were far from over.

"Yeah," the small guy agreed, his tone more upbeat.

"Why do you look so down?" he asked, sensing my lingering concern.

I sighed inwardly, my mind still grappling with the events that's been happening.

"Oh? What's the matter?" The other one inquired, his expression turning serious.

"I think I'm tired," I confessed, my voice tinged with weariness. But it wasn't just physical exhaustion weighing me down; it was the weight of uncertainty and fear that lingered in my mind.

"Yeah, with all that running, it's normal to be tired," Korosaku reassured me, but I shook my head.

"No," I shook my head, " I'm not talking about that." And looked at Korosaku, dead serious, "I'm talking about running away from them... Instead of running..why don't we strike back and finish them?" I suggested, my words echoing the doubts and questions swirling in my mind.

"Eh..." Korosaku hesitated, clearly surprised by my proposal.

"Running away won't do anything... I pretty much knew this from the beginning. Running away is not always the right solution, and it doesn't even solve the problem," I reasoned, my frustration evident in my voice as I looked onto my palm. Gasping for more air, I felt the cold breeze wash over me, my sweat dripping out of my face.

"But you know it's not like we can take them on. They're armed with weapons," Korasaku replied, his tone grave. "And they're all adults, all professionals," the other guy added, his voice tinged with concern.

"We were basically just annoying them to get back at them," The small guy added, his tone resigned.

...

Yeah, they have guns and other weapons... but... running again,"

"It's fine, if you want to keep running, that's fine. I'll just do it my own."

 I'll just face them head-on alone it's not like I'm counting on anyone to begin with.

"Are you serious, man?" Korosaku asked, 

"Yeah. I don't want to run away again, I don't wanna do the same thing....just like before," I muttered, my gaze fixed on the heavy blanket of gray clouds that hung low in the sky, casting a dull and oppressive atmosphere over everything around me. The tall trees and dense bushes of the forest enveloped me, The usual sounds of insects buzzing and leaves rustling in the breeze had vanished, replaced only by a heavy silence further enhancing the eerie stillness of the moment. Memories flooded my mind like raindrops on a windowpane, each one a vivid snapshot of the past that I couldn't shake off.

[2019- November 23]

**Four years ago**

"What are you doing!" Ate Yuri yelled, her face closed to mine.

"Ugh!" I groaned as I felt her heavy body pressing onto me as she restrained me.

"Yuri?"

 Being pinned down on the floor,with my right hand holding a knife, my left hand ached as it continued to bleed being pressed real hard.

"What is this? What happened? What are you doing!"

She loudly asked consecutively leaving me unable to answer.

She looked around and then suddenly sat; she started tearing her skirt immediately to patch my wrist that's been bleeding in a rush.

"..." I couldn't utter any word.

"Are you trying to kill yourself again?" She asked and I felt my heart sunk as she spot the point of what's happening.

"I..." looking at her desperate attempt performing first aid to stop the bleeding on my wrist, I averted my eyes, my tears flowed unexpectedly, "I don't want to live anymore..."

Nightmares keep me from night, and just from being near the girl remind me of her, why?.. why does it hurt? Why can't I just get over her?... I asked as I gritted my teeth, feeling numb and not feeling my wrist anymore.

"What are you saying?" She asked,

"Do you really not wanna live anymore?" Didn't you said you'll live so your father sacrifice didn't go in vain? He didn't get you into the hospital and raised you to die, you gotta live!"

"But.." I can't.... it hurts.."

"Let's go, I'll take you to the hospital."

She supported me to stand against my will, taking me out of my room.

"I told you I.."

"Yes you can live!" She yelled,

"If there's a problem," she looked at me with a smile," if there's a problem,.we just gotta solve it and everything will be fine!"

"So don't give up okay?"

"I don't wanna live..."Being continued to be pulled, we came out the house.

"Is... Is that really what you want?.." she asked, shoving me into her car and she started the engine?

"Ye-yeah.." I trembled as I felt the air-conditioning envelope my body,

"Really?.." Yuri looked at me again, asking for another time, "really?"

Averting my gaze I replied "yeah."

"Just let me die, that way I won't suffer anymore..." I said and she didn't answer and continued on driving.

Although I said that, The truth is I don't wanna die.. I wanna live but I can't.. it hurts...

It's painful just to live...

Everyone just kept leaving me...

Hugged myself and shiver, as I realized what I've just did.. a thought passed onto my head, "is suffering will stop if I died?..."

And the answer is clear to my head, no one has ever has the answer to it.

...

As the car halted,, Yuri came to me and get me out of the car, feeling the air outside, she hugged me, my head pressed on her breast.

"If there's a problem, don't run away, let's solve it.

How?.. I asked myself..

I can't even managed to get out of house.. I'm scared.. Just getting near with them makes me wanna puke and my head started hearing stuff. It hurts .

"It's fine, we'll look for a way." She reassured me, caressing my head as she bring me to enter the hospital.

***

"So you're Matsuki Satoro, right, I'm Rina San, nice to meet you.."

That's the time I met Rina San, she tried everything, encouraging me with words, slapping me with words and started treating me her way, made pursue some stuff to forget uncomfortable things like getting into a nice school, made me to get some work on bar by recommending me to his friend bar owner, made a medicine to calm myself and to get rid of pain through some painkillers and help me to get some sleep...

She encourage me and continued to be helpful in any way.

Those day's continued only to realize that it's no use.

Things keep bothering me, although I can managed to have a bit of hello, I can't still

stand being with a girl, to the point that I give up her continues session.

And run...

And Run...

"Are you sure you're not coming back anymore?"

She texted me but I didn't answered and leave her hanging.

And continued to run.

" I think it's time for you to met another girl and be with her, fall in love again and forget what happen,"

She came to me again and advise some shit.

Thing that easy-to say than done.

So ignored her and run again.

Until that days come when I started my second year as a senior High school.

"You're cleaning alone again?"

That's when Kira tried to get into my shitty life, offering her help for the first time I accepted it to see if I'll be fine...

And now...

Am I going to run away again?..

.....

........

No, I'm tired of running away, this time I'll face it!

[2023-November 28]

"So, you've made your decision, for you to be coming back here."

"Yeah, I will follow your plans and be your son, but in return, You have to give me the things I need."

[END OF VOLUME 2]