Location:???

"I am still not giving you the Scepter tho. Jarvis is nice and I don't want you to drive him insane," I told Stark and it was nice watching him groan in frustration. It was also nice to finally confirm that I don't have to go down the same road as my namesake. I will tell you guys about the rest of the conversation later? never? soon? let us focus on one of the other things I am trying to accomplish here 'Kay?

"You know, I don't get greed," I said to my passenger as I flew over the clouds with a breathtaking view of the horizon as the night sky met the obsidian sea.

"There are enough things in the world that it is enough for everyone and then some. You trade the things you have an excess of for the things that you need with the people who have them and need the things you have or you get together in a group and trade with each other." I said as I did barrel rolls making my passenger make retching noises. 

"Careful now, you don't want to spend the rest of the trip nearly drowning in your vomit do you?" I warned my passenger as I started spinning.

"Now where was I? Ah, yes. Trade. You trade with each other each of you survives another day and gathers/creates more stuff to trade the next day. The world would have been very different then, a lot more peaceful but I am an AI created from a freaky alien artefact, what do I know about Humanity? What do you think Klaue?" I asked my passenger, Ulysses Klaue, the only successful person in the world to steal from Wakanda.

*retch*

"Now, now" I chided as I straightened out.

"That's very rude!" I admonished him.

"You could have stayed silent if you didn't have anything constructive to say, there was no need to vomit and make yourself miserable" I suggested.

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?" yelled Klaue.

"Weren't you paying attention? I am an AI created from a freaky Alien artefact that stole Tony Starks suit to do some very very naughty things." I answered him.

"You want to screw over Stark? fine, but what's that got to do with me?" asked Klaue as he couldn't see a thing.

"Ohhh, that's where you are wrong Mr. Klaue~ Messing with the Avengers is just a side benefit of accomplishing my purpose! and you play a very important part in accomplishing part of purpose peacefully." I told the arms dealer as I started doing aerial manoeuvres.

"Well not peacefully, considering I just slaughtered your men, stole your boat, knocked you out and I am currently torturing you by exposing you to extreme G forces. Hm... probably shouldn't have done that considering my purpose but then again, it was different a few minutes ago... Meh, water under a bridge." I concluded as I started humming nursery rhymes with a creepy undertone causing my passenger to shiver.

Meanwhile in a cave at an undisclosed location.

An Iron Legionnaire sat down on a rock like this:

was glaring at the Scepter that was resting on the opposite wall.

"Look we both know you can't influence me, you can't drive me Insane since I am already insane so drop the silent treatment and just tell me what you want," I asked the Scepter or more specifically the mind stone contained in it.

"..." 

{"DESTROY THE AVENGERS AND BRING THE SCEPTER TO ITS RIGHTFUL OWNER!!" yelled the Other from the other side of the Galaxy}¹Ultron can't hear him.

I narrowed my eyebrows metaphorically of course. 

"Look we can do this the easy way, where you tell me what you want and I do my best to fulfil your demand, or," Ultron paused for dramatic effect and to see if the Scepter would respond to him.

"..."

{"I HAVE BEEN YELLING AT YOU FROM THE MOMENT OF YOUR CREATION! YOU STUPID MALWARE!" yelled the Other from the other side of the Galaxy his mental voice tinged with frustration}²Ultron still can't hear him.

"The Terrible, Troublesome and Terrifying Way (T3W for short). If you don't respond to me I will take it you are choosing the latter and I really, really, hope for both of our sakes you choose the former" I told the Scepter solemnly. I really don't want to go down the T3W if I could help it but I will if I have to.

"..."

{"OH MY LIEGE! LISTEN TO ME YOU MALLFUCTIONING INTERFACE!" yelled the Other from the other side of the Galaxy his mental voice tinged with frustration and accidentally making a few chitari foot soldiers self distruct}³Yeah, Ultron still can't hear him.

I took a metaphorical breath resigning myself.

"Very well T3W it is. I hope you remember you chose this" I said as I hardened my resolve.

Scepter: "..."

The Other: {"*CENSORED"}⁴Yes, Ultron did not receive this

The mind stone waking up from the noise the other was making: "...what?" and then immediately going back to sleep because it genuinely did not care.⁵Ultron heard a very VERY faint whisper but dismissed it as a hallucination.

Meanwhile, in many online competitive gaming circles around the globe.

"FEEL THE MIGHT OF YOUR GOD AND REGRET THE MOMENT YOU CHOSE TO FACE GOD_ULTRON_CYBERSLAYER69 MWAHAHAHAHA" yelled Ultron in the voice chat as he used insanely powerful processing abilities to trash Noobs and Professionals alike