A hunt followed that was… intense; a town overridden with them. They met Gordon Walker, a vampire hunter. Dean saved him from a vamp and they all went to the bar together.

 

But some of the things that Gordon was saying... well, she just didn't quite agree. He was aggressive, hard-headed, and brutal. He wasn't like Dean or Sam and that frightened her. She watched as the men drank. Eventually, Gordan left and Allie was left alone with Dean. "I don't like him." She knew Dean would disagree.

 

Dean raised an eyebrow in surprise, turning to face Allie with a curious expression. "You don't like Gordon?" he asked skeptically, taking another swig of his beer before setting it down on the table between them. "He knows how to get shit done," he pointed out defensively, crossing his arms over his chest.

 

Allie bit the inside of her lip in frustration. "What about when he said that hunting has no shades of grey? That it's just black and white?" Gordan scared her because he lacked empathy. "He's—- what if he's dangerous, Dean ? Something's not right." They didn't fight as much these days but Allie straight up did not agree with her mentor.

 

"You barely know him!" She raised her voice. It felt like Dean wasn't taking her opinion seriously.

 

Dean's eyes narrowed in annoyance at her tone, but he took a deep breath to calm himself before responding. "Allie," he said firmly in warning, reaching out a hand to brush away a stray strand of hair from her face. "I know you care about these people we save, and I do too." He paused for a moment, searching for the right words. "But sometimes... there are monsters that need to be put down without hesitation. And Gordon? Yeah, maybe he doesn't always go about it the most... ethical way, but he gets the job done."

 

"Besides," he added with a small grin tugging at his lips as he attempted to butter her up to avoid a fight. "you're not going anywhere. I got you covered, okay? You’re safe with me." His hand squeezed hers reassuringly before pulling her closer to him so their bodies brushed against each other in an almost familiar manner. They had danced this tango many times.

 

Allie recoiled away from him. Dean was wrong. She knew he was wrong. "Don't." He was trying to lighten things up. That wasn't going to work. "Ethical way?" She questioned with narrowed eyes. "He likes it! He talks about it like it's a game! We do what we do because we have to, not to revel in it! That's fucked up!" She shook her head in disbelief. Part of her knew it was due to his grief— his anger.

 

Dean’s eyes flashed with frustration and annoyance at her words, but he forced himself to take a deep breath before responding. "Alls," he growled out through clenched teeth, his voice low enough that only she could hear him over the music playing in the background.

"You don't know shit about what it's like to lose people you care about because some pussy-ass hunter didn't have the balls to finish the job right the first time! Gordon finishes the job."

 

Allie seethed. This wasn't like any fight they had ever had before. Normally there was levity even when they argued but this was different.

 

 " You're so far up your own ass that shit is coming out your mouth !" Woah. She was pissed. Allie took his beer, slammed it back with a large gulp, and gave him cold eyes. He was dismissing her and if there was anything that got her gears grinding, it was being dismissed. Gordon was dangerous. She knew it. "I'm going back to the motel!" She yelled loud enough for people to look away. Dean had never seen her angry before, not really. It was like a wildfire.

 

Dean's eyes widened in shock at her words, his jaw clenching tightly as he watched her storm out of the bar. He couldn't believe she would just leave him like that, not after everything they had been through together. But then again, maybe it was deserved. Maybe she was right and he was becoming too consumed by revenge to see clearly anymore. He downed another beer in one shot before slamming the glass on the table hard enough to draw a few more curious glances from nearby patrons.

 

It took her hours to get back to the motel; mainly because she walked. When she arrived Sam and Dean were there. Gordon had left after meeting up with Dean again. Allie walked in on their conversation in the parking lot. Sam had been kidnapped by the vampires only to be left unscathed. He was told that they were feeding on animal blood and didn't hurt people. Dean didn't seem to believe them but Sam did and didn't want Gordon and Dean to continue the hunt. 

 

"What's happening?"

 

Sam Winchester turned to her, relief washing over his features at the sight of Allie. "We found a nest of vampires feeding on animal blood" he explained quickly, gesturing towards Dean who remained stiffly silent beside him. "Dean doesn't believe them but I think there might be something to it." He ran a hand through his hair in frustration before turning back to face his brother. "We don't know anything for sure yet. We can't just go around killing innocent people because they're different."

 

Dean's jaw clenched tightly, his features presenting an expression of displeasure as he turned to face both of them. "Innocent people? They're fuckin' vampires!" He sneered. Monsters were monsters. That's all there was to it. "They may be feeding on animals now," he conceded reluctantly, "but what happens when they run out?"

 

"If they're feeding on animals then they aren't monsters! Do we kill wolves or bears? They could hurt people too!" Sam was completely unharmed. Why would they do that if they were evil? "There isn't a scratch on Sam!" Maybe a portion of her defiance was still due to her anger from their fight. Ethically she understood that Gordon would go after them anyway but she couldn't. It didn't feel right. "They don't deserve to die because something bad happened to them."

 

Sam Winchester sighed, his eyes pleading with Dean to see reason. "Dean," he began softly, placing a hand on the older man's shoulder in an attempt to get him to calm down. "We don't know that for sure yet. We can investigate further before we jump to conclusions." He turned back towards Allie, offering her a small smile of gratitude. "You're right, they don’t deserve death just because they are different or have been through something traumatic." His gaze flickered briefly towards Dean before returning to hers.

 

Dean's muscles tensed at Sam's words, but he forced himself to take a deep breath and relax his fists that had been clenched tightly. "Fine," he growled out reluctantly after a moment of silence passed between them. "We investigate further." He turned away from both of them, clearly frustrated with the situation but unwilling to argue more about it now.

"But if they so much as look at you funny..." 

 

When they went to get the keys to the Impala they were gone. Gordon had stolen them, leaving Dean to hotwire the Impala. They arrived at the nest where Gordon had tied up Lenore, the leader. The trio tried to calm him down but Gordon wouldn't see reason. He grabbed Sam's arm and sliced it with a knife to bleed on Lenore's face and prove she was a monster. Her fangs came out but only briefly before she stopped herself and refused to feed on a human, even in her weakened state.

 

Allie's face softened. "Let her go, Gordon! She's not a monster!" But he refused and Dean got into a physical fight with him. While they fought Allie and Sam got Lenore out of the room to satefy. 

 

When Dean finally emerged he was a little beat up with a split lip and noted Gordon was tied up. They climbed into the Impala together but not before Dean stopped Sam to talk to him.

 

Dean leaned against the Impala, catching his breath as he turned to face the younger Winchester. "I'm sorry," he muttered gruffly, rubbing at his aching jaw where Gordon had landed a solid punch before they managed to subdue him. "You were right about giving them a chance." He glanced towards Allie who was still cradling Lenore in her arms like she could protect her from harm.

 

Sam nodded, wincing as he touched his own sore jaw. "It's okay," he said softly, trying to brush it off even though they both knew the apology wasn't enough for what had almost happened. He turned back towards Allie and Lenore, offering a reassuring smile before speaking up again.

"We should get going." His voice was steady but there was still an underlying tension that radiated through his muscles.

 

Dean nodded in agreement, climbing into the Impala and starting up the engine before turning to face Allie. "Thanks for sticking your neck out there," His eyes flickered with a mix of gratitude and something else that even he couldn't quite place.

"I... appreciate it. " It was one of the first times he had ever admitted that he needed her help or appreciated what she brought to their team.

 

Allie didn't meet Dean's gaze. She purposely looked away. Although she was normally forgiving... right now it was tough. Dean had dismissed her for basically a stranger. She was conflicted. Yes, he was grieving and angry but the way he had treated her... she needed time.

 

She stayed quiet and pushed herself into the corner of the backseat and pulled a blanket out of her backpack and a book. "Lullabies for Little Criminals" by Heather O'Neill. Allie was never quiet. She was unapologetically bubbly and outgoing and enthusiastic. But right now? The quiet consumed her.

 

Dean watched her retreat into silence, his brow furrowed in concern as he focused on the road ahead. He knew she was mad at him and deservedly so, but damn it all to hell if that didn't sting more than any bullet ever could. He glanced over at Sam who seemed lost in thought, a small frown creasing his features. "I screwed up," he muttered under his breath, rubbing a hand through his hair before turning back towards Allie again. "Allie..." he began, unsure of how to apologize properly. "I'm sorry," he finally managed after a long moment of awkward silence passed between them. "You were right about giving Lenore and her pack a chance."

 

He was trying and she knew that but he completely missed the mark. It wasn't about the pack. Well, maybe a bit but not really. This was about Gordon and how Dean had treated her in favor of making a 'bro'. After all they had been through... after all she had stuck around for...

 

She tried not to think about it. A strange sadness took over. It wasn't anger. It was disappointment. Allie thought that Dean cared for her, and that she was special but when the moment came down to it he denied her opinions. She was closing up— walls rebuilding. "I don't want to talk." The blonde spoke and pursed her lips.

 

Sam glanced over at Dean, offering him a reassuring nod before returning his attention back to the road ahead. He knew how hard it was for Dean to admit he was wrong and apologize, especially when he felt like he had messed up with someone important to them.

 

He reached out a hand towards Allie's shoulder, giving her a light squeeze in solidarity. "It's okay," he said softly, not pushing further on the topic of her fight earlier with his older brother.

 

Dean nodded, his jaw twitching as he focused on the road ahead. He knew Sam's touch was meant to comfort her but it only served to remind him of how much he had screwed up with Allie. "I get that," he muttered, trying and failing miserably at lightening the mood. "We can talk about something else." His eyes flickered towards Allie briefly before returning back to the road. "So, what are you reading?"

 

What part of not wanting to talk did he not get? Was he stupid? She gritted her teeth. "I need you to shut up right now before I say something that I don't mean." She didn't want to fight but she didn't know how to deal with her sadness. Being vulnerable was still foreign and Allie felt as though she was being put on the spot, the center of attention. She knew that she was being kind of a bitch about it but what did he know?

 

You don't know shit about what it's like to lose people you care about because some pussy-ass hunter didn't have the balls to finish the job right the first time! his words from earlier on in the night rang in her head. The car felt claustrophobic. She did know what it was like to lose someone. She did. Being yelled at by him... it stirred her weakness. Her pain. Her guilt. 

 

Ryan. Ryan. Ryan. 

 

The name was like kryptonite, memories akin to dynamite. It felt like a pounding of a hammer in her chest. Not here, please! her inner voice begged, pleaded— but the panic began. His face was there. Thousands of miles away and he still haunted her. "Pull over! Now!" She rasped as her breathing quickened. The world was ending. Or, at least, it felt like it was.

 

Dean's eyes widened in surprise at her outburst, his hands tightening on the wheel as he glanced over at Sam with a worried expression. He knew better than to argue when Allie sounded like she was about to lose it and pulled over onto the side of the empty road.

 

"Allie," he started softly, reaching out for her but hesitating before placing a hand lightly on her shoulder instead. "Hey, breathe with me."

 

]She forced Dean away. Being touched was red hot and not in a good way. It had been so long since the last time he plagued her like this. "Please, don't touch me. Leave me alone." Her voice suddenly became soft, somewhat like a child would sound; like a wounded baby deer. 

 

Allie leaned against the Impala with her palms on her knees and took a few deep inhales. He wasn't around anymore. She didn't belong to anyone. She wasn't owned by someone, dragged and beaten and bruised. Her eyes focused on the nearest road sign. Free. She was free. She had been for years.  The brothers had never seen her like this before. Allie tried her best to hide it most of the time. A little yell. That’s all it took. How embarrassing.

 

Dean hesitated, his hand hovering in mid-air before slowly withdrawing and retreating back to his side. He knew better than to push her especially not after everything they had been through together but seeing her so distraught made him want to reach out and pull her into his arms. He was supposed to protect her, damnit! "Okay," he murmured softly, turning up the radio to drown out the silence that seemed to swallow them whole. "Take your time." he didn’t understand what was happening or how he had set her off. It was just a fight.

 

Sam’s heart clenched in concern as he watched Allie struggle to regain control of herself. He knew how hard it was for her, dealing with the demons both literally and figuratively that haunted them all. He reached over and placed a comforting hand on Dean's shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze before turning his attention back towards Allie. He whispered only to Dean. "Has she done this before?"

 

Dean shook his head slightly, focusing on the road ahead as he tried to calm himself down. "Not like this" he muttered softly, glancing over at Sam with a small frown. "I've barely seen her get angry. Like… actually angry . Never seen her cry." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, trying to focus on something else besides how much she was hurting right now.

 

Sam nodded, his brow tight with concern. "I'll stay with her," he said softly before opening the door and getting out of the car to go over to Allie. He didn't know what she needed but he knew it wasn't Dean right now. He approached cautiously, not wanting to startle her further as he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Hey, um... I'm sorry about earlier."

 

By the time Sam joined her side she was breathing and had straightened up. The panic hadn't lasted long, thank God but it felt like years. Time did help. It was happening less and less. Maybe one day it wouldn't happen at all. "Don’t you apologize! It's me. It's not your fault and it's not Dean's either." She recomposed herself. Now that was something Allie was good at, faking it.

 

Sam’s eyes softened as he saw her regaining control of herself. "I know it's not your fault or Dean's," he said gently, reaching out to brush a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear in a comforting gesture. "But Dean still shouldn't have snapped at you like that. He told me what happened." He hesitated for a moment before taking a deep breath and leaned forward slightly, resting his forehead against hers. "You mean the world to us both, Allie. You always have, okay?"

 

Allie relished in the feeling of his forehead pressed against hers. Her life had been marred by unfortunate circumstances. Barely any family growing up, men who treated her like an object, and peers who didn't understand her loss. Sometimes she felt like a 50-year-old living in a 26-year-old's body.  She was tired of holding in the truth. It weighed on her so heavily that she felt like she was sinking in the ocean. "I was engaged before I found Bobby." Really, finding him had been a last-ditch effort at a satisfying life. "He was... not a nice guy." Getting any more in-depth was too hard. "It's better but it's still hard sometimes." Allie knew that she could no longer hide behind the hot girl facade that she created for herself, at least not around the Winchesters.

 

Sam's heart clenched in sympathy as he listened to Allie confess something so personal. He knew she had a rough past, but hearing it spoken aloud made it all the more real and painful. "I'm sorry," he whispered softly, his hand squeezing hers gently before moving up her arm to rest on her shoulder in a comforting gesture. "You don't have to talk about this if you don't want to." But he hoped that by showing her support and understanding, maybe she would feel safe enough to open up more.

 

Allie bit her lip. "I'm not a victim." She spoke. Not really even to him, more so to herself. She needed to feel like she wasn't weak. "He was...good before we got engaged. Not that we waited very long." She sighed and leaned her head back to look up at the sky. "Then we moved in together and it was like night and day. I never thought I'd be that girl. I always thought..." She felt guilty saying it. She was naive and somewhat judgemental back then. "I don't know" Allie grew a bit angry. "No one will ever fucking do that to me again." They both knew what "that" was.

 

Sam dipped in understanding, his eyes filled with empathy as he listened to Allie's story. "You aren't a victim," he agreed softly. "And you never will be around us." He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly before taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. "I get that feeling too sometimes" he admitted in a low voice, glancing down at the ground for a moment before meeting her gaze again. "Like we can't trust anyone after everything we've been through..."

 

Sam's words were healing, they helped her pain. "Thank you." She spoke gently. "I uh... you guys aren't just friends to me. I love you both very much and I'm sorry for getting so upset." They were like family. Friends seemed so... juvenile compared to her connection with them. They had been through so much together. "Can you get Dean, please? I need to talk to him." Her eyes met with Sam's and pink lips parted into a soft smile.

 

Sam's heart ski thrummed at her words, his eyes widening slightly in surprise before he quickly composed himself. "Of course," he murmured softly, giving Allie's hand one more squeeze before turning and heading back towards the Impala where Dean was likely still brooding over something or another. He found him just as expected, leaning against the car door with an expression that could have been frustration etched into stone. "Dean" Sam began cautiously, clearing his throat nervously. "Allie wants to talk to you."

 

Dean's head snapped up at Sam's words, a frown marring his features as he pushed away from the car door and stalked back over to where Allie was standing. He stopped short when she spoke again, her eyes filled with vulnerability that tugged at something deep inside him. "Allie," he breathed out softly, reaching out tentatively to brush a strand of hair behind her ear in an almost familiar gesture before hesitating for a moment. "I... I'm sorry."

 

She leaned into his touch. Her own hand moved over his, keeping it against her face. "I don't like fighting with you like that." They were both stubborn and sometimes that led to butting heads. "I'm sorry too." Not just for fighting. She was also sorry for being fucked up emotionally.

 

"I thought Gordon was bad news but I shouldn't have yelled at you like I did. That's no excuse." They had to fix things. They had to. "You're my best friend and I really am sorry. I don't want to fight anymore." Her actions had been clouded by anger and her lack of control over her own sadness. She didn't want that to get in the way of their close bond.

 

Dean's eyes gazed down affectionately as she leaned into his touch, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "I know" he murmured softly and ran the pad of his thumb over her cheek before cupping it gently in one hand. "You're my best friend too." He hesitated for a moment longer before slowly leaning forward, pressing their foreheads together in an intimate gesture that lingered just shy of being something more.

 

Her forehead instinctively rubbed against his. Plump lips parted and a soft sigh of content and relaxation poured from them. She wrapped her arms around his nape before placing her head down into the crook of his neck and shoulder. He smelled like whiskey, wood, leather, and gunpowder. It was intoxicatingly masculine. 

 

"Can you say something nice to me, please?" He had hurt her and she assumed she may have hurt him. She just needed to know that he liked pieces of her. Or better yet— all of her.

 

Dean’s arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer still against his chest as he nuzzled the top of her head. "You smell good" he groaned, voice rumbling vibrantly in her ear.

"And you make me laugh more than anyone else I know." He pressed a kiss to the top of her blonde hair before taking a deep breath. "I... I think you're beautiful inside and out, Alls."

 

Perfect. It was so perfect that she couldn't have asked for more. Was that strange? "Thanks. My perfume is expensive." She joked her lips brushed against his skin just a tad while she spoke before Allie pulled back. "Wow." She grinned. "Put it back in your pants, Winchester." Her fingers reached out and she shoved his shoulder very gently—-  just playing with him. Her nose scrunched from laughter.

 

"You ready to hit the road, Cowboy?" Her tone was laced with affection.

 

Dean chuckled as he let her push him playfully. "Always ready to ride shotgun with you, Sunshine," he teased back, reaching down and tugging on the hem of her skirt suggestively before quickly withdrawing his hand.

"Let's get this show on the road." He released Allie reluctantly, turning towards the Impala and opening the backseat door for her before climbing into the driver's seat.