The ties that bonded them loosened. Bobby was a wreck without his daughter. When he brought her home he laid her down on the bed in her room and prayed. Robert wasn’t much of a religious man, hadn’t been since Karen but he had hoped that Castiel would answer his pleas and present himself.
And he did.
Cass spent weeks repairing Allie’s body slowly. The healing began right after their swan song. By the time Allie came to, it had been a month and a half since Sam had been taken by Lucifer, since her untimely death.
Blue eyes blinked up at the ceiling and took in the room. All of her old photos hung off the walls, and her hairbrush still had hair in it; romance novels lined her bookcase. It took a few moments for Allie to adjust but slowly she sat up underneath the wine-coloured duvet that covered her sheets and below, her mattress. It felt as though she had woken from a long nap due to the disorientation that took place.
It came back like trickles of water. The look in Dean’s eyes, the blood that seeped over her washed-out flesh. She had been broken and even stating it that way was an understatement, though she didn’t quite know the extent of her own severance. Walking down the stairs took an effort that she wasn’t used to. Her muscles were pained from her immobility. She was thin due to only being fed nutrients through an IV. Her sides were tender to the touch and scarred at the hip.
The sight of her father at his desk lit up her eyes. “Dad?” she watched in shock as he shot up and moved quickly to her, his arms wrapping around her so tightly that she coughed.
Bobby had spent each day in and each day out worried about Alice. She was a fighter but that only went so far. When Cass came he never came for long, skipping formalities and opting instead to get straight to the point. The human body was a sensitive thing and usually Cass’s powers were enough in the group but there were exceptions to every rule and Allie’s torn body had certainly been just that.
When she came into his eye-line Bobby nearly felt his heart become whole again and before he could even think about it —- he was pulling her into his arms without a word, tucking her head under his chin. He hadn’t realized just how tightly he had been holding her. Not that it mattered. This was his daughter, damnit! A sight that he expected to never see again.
“Kid, You didn’t listen!” He pulled away and held her by the shoulders, looking into her large eyes with a firm gaze. “I told ya’ not to go!” He was aggravated but it resulted from care, not true anger. The sight of her body… was grotesque and truly, it had broken him.
Allie sighed and tried her best to joke. “Are you going to go off on an ‘I told you so’ tangent? Is that what’s happening right now?” The look on his face told her that she had not picked the best time to joke around.
“You died,” Bobby spoke and shook his head. Normally he enjoyed how his daughter defused tense situations with humor. She had a quick wit and was generally funny (sometimes it fell flat but she tried). She could be a smartass though. “Bloody.” No point in sugarcoating it. She’d find out eventually.
From there Bobby went on to fill her in on the events over the previous seven weeks. Dean had gone to Lisa and Ben in an effort to abide by Sam’s request for him to live an apple-pie life and no longer hunted. He hadn’t heard from his surrogate son since the first week and Bobby had been alright with that because Dean had gotten out of the life. No one got out of the life.
Even more surprising, Sam was out of the cage; had been since…practically the next day and none of them had told Dean. Not Sam, Not Bobby, Not Cass. They let Dean live regularly and in peace.
It was nearly an hour later when Bobby finally finished his spiel. He felt the need to defend himself over not being honest with Dean about Sam, even without his daughter asking about it. Allie took a long sip of her beer and bit her lip. The idea of Dean being with another woman made her insides feel like battery acid. The man that she loved, now with Lisa. Allie had met her once and also had seen her in Dean’s dreams way back when. The dream itself was slightly difficult to watch and that was… years ago; her feelings had only increased ever since.
“Wow… okay.” The words were a hollow recognition of his recalling. “With Lisa, huh? Living the straight and narrow.” She stared down at her beer and didn’t even bother to hide her discontent.
Bobby’s heart broke for his daughter. He knew deep down that Dean was meant to be with her but life didn’t always work out in the best way and Allie had died. Dean deserved to be happy. “I’m sorry, kid.” it wasn’t much but it was an acknowledgment of what they were both thinking. “But it is the way it is now and we can’t tell Dean that y’er here, alive.”
Her eyes fell. “Wh-” She barely even got the word out before her father cut in.
“Ya know why, girl.” He spoke firmly, unrelenting while daring her to argue with him. “If he hears y’er back he’ll come runnin’.” Bobby released a short sigh and patted her shoulder with a paternal tenderness. “We gotta give ‘im this, Alls. I’m sorry.” Bobby looked back on the conversation he had with Dean one year prior and although the promise was made, it couldn’t be completed and he was the one standing in the way.
Allie sucked her lip into her mouth and bit down on it. The tears that stung at her eyes had a separate layer of pain, one she hadn’t experienced before. A whole new emotion. Crestfallen. Perhaps a mix of it with regret—- and longing . Jealousy couldn’t even compare.
But he was right. Dean had gotten out and in the end, his happiness meant more than her own desires. She could already hear her father trying to give her the ‘plenty of other fish’ conversation if she put up any resistance and that was a road she did not want to go down. “Okay.” She nodded despite the feeling of her heart being made of glass, glass that shattered and was now cutting her into tiny pieces; splinters that would potentially never come out.
At least Sam was alive. “Where’s Sam if he’s not with Dean?” That was odd. Why wasn’t he at her father’s? Where else did he have to be? Bobby would have told her if he also went back to leading a normal life.
Bobby had to take a moment to compose himself considering the conversation that he assumed would take place. He hadn’t expected Allie to swallow the truth, that wasn’t the woman he had grown accustomed to. Allie was stubborn, headstrong, and one of the most devoted people he had ever met— especially to Dean. The two had been inseparable for years. If Dean went somewhere Allie went there with him and it never seemed unnatural or… like pining. The two were about the most dense people in the world, they had been in love for a long, long time. Unfortunately, his daughter would now learn the hardest lesson of all: What ifs.
“Sam’s huntin’.” He spoke through his own thoughts. “Somethin’s been different with ‘im.” Bobby’s gruff voice was only slightly raised. “He ain’t right.” It was small things and Bobby had only just started really noticing them. Sam seemed detached.
Allie nodded slowly although she didn’t quite understand. “Different?” She perked a brow and tapped her nails against the dining room table. “It’s not like we’ve ever been the Brady Bunch.” sarcasm. There was probably no place for it right now but her heart was being worn on her sleeve and she was too tired to give a shit anymore. Plus, he had come back from the cage. Made sense if a few of his screws were loose— and by loose, gone is what would be more accurate.
Bobby huffed. “Jus’ different. You’ll see.” Maybe she wouldn’t. It would be good if she wouldn’t. That would mean he was just being a bit anal and nothing was wrong, the best outcome.
They were cut short by the sound of the front door opening and thundering boots coming down the hallway. Allie perked up at the noise and stood expectantly. When Sam came into view she darted to him, arms outreached to bring him in for a warm and affectionate embrace. “Sam! I’m so glad to see you.”
Sam stood for a moment and put his arms around her in a distracted manner. He didn’t feel a need to hug her, even if she had been dead for a month and a half. The hug was just pleasantry and not something he was… emotionally invested in. “You’re alive.” He noted, voice plain. “That’s good.” he had to select his words carefully.
Allie furrowed her brow while still holding him around the waist. Odd. Sam generally appreciated hugs and physical contact. Over time she had learned the love languages of the brothers, though Sam’s was not physical touch he still enjoyed it and Allie often adjusted how she reacted to the boys based on their love languages. Dean enjoyed acts of service and physical touch, Sam enjoyed quality time (not easy with their jobs) and words of affirmation (bingo! That one had been easy for her to perform.)
Allie stepped back and performed a minor test. “I’m proud of you, Sam.” He also enjoyed talking about his feelings, of course, that was a stark contrast to Dean.
Sam stared at the woman in front of him. She was familiar and he knew that at one time he cared for her but now it just felt... empty. Like a void. “Thank you.” He was aware that she was attempting to be kind. “But I’m alright.” an empty truism meant only to satiate her and avoid any more… feelings .
She was quiet. Her father was right—- something was up with Sam. She didn’t push though, it could have been a side effect from being in the cage even if his time there had been brief. Better not to break open his peanut.
They spoke for a while and Sam communicated that he was looking for another hunt. Bobby said that Sam had basically been hunting nonstop while Dean was gone. She attempted to go on a few with him but his style wasn’t the same. Something big had changed in him and Allie just naturally began hunting with her father instead. Not a bad thing, some father-daughter time was much appreciated; they only grew closer from the quality time together.
Eleven months later she sat in the living room on Bobby’s couch, gaze scanning the pages of Wuthering Heights in hyperfocus. The year hadn’t been a bad thing. Bobby had taught her to take calls, she could swing practically anything and that meant more time for him to fix things in the auto yard. Allie did her damn best to pretend everything was fine and that she had moved on; it was better for everyone involved that way. She saw Sam sometimes but he…
They weren’t close anymore. Sam had his priorities—- more like priority singular. Hunting. So much so that it had taken over. Eventually, Allie just let herself fade from his life. She was too tired to fight. Unspoken depression settled deep into her bones, into all of the rusty facets of pain that lay buried inside of her. She had lost both brothers, Cass too. All that was left was Bobby. Allie had never felt so pathetic. Her world shouldn’t have revolved around men. Despite attempting to move on and invoke change all of the attempts had mainly come up empty, the bond that she had shared with the Winchesters was great; there was no sense in trying to replicate it with anyone else. Time would hopefully heal the wound but the road to get there was painful.
The blonde hadn’t even registered the sound of the front door opening. Sam hustled in alongside… Dean? And Lisa and Ben?
She heard his voice clear as day in her ears. Her father hadn’t announced any sort of reunion. Allie glanced over at her father casually and cocked her brows. He looked apologetic before approaching her.
“Sorry, kid. I didn’t know.” The god's honest truth. Dean had shown up at the older hunter’s home with his family in tow unexpectedly. They were in danger and Bobby couldn’t say no, he never would.
No other words were shared. It was a simple interaction and somehow Allie knew it would happen eventually, what was the point in fighting it? She turned back to her book while basking in sunlight through the main window.
'𝙸’𝚖 𝚠𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚎𝚜𝚌𝚊𝚙𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚐𝚕𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚕𝚍,
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎: 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚒𝚝 𝚍𝚒𝚖𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜,
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚝:
𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚒𝚝, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚒𝚝.'
As Lisa’s voice faded up the stairs Allie heard Dean make his entrance, approaching further into the house for a beer and perhaps a short chat with her father. She didn’t know. She had half a mind not to listen, otherwise, she would be back at the beginning of her process again.
Stressed was an understatement. He had a family to protect now and that was making his head ache half the time. Bringing them to Bobby’s seemed to be the only logical next step— who else could he trust? Sam would be with him while they hunted the djinn that threatened his family, or may have. It was a shitstorm.
And then as if life hadn’t hit him in the jaw enough he found out that Bobby had known Sam was alive for the whole fucking year and never said a goddamn word about it. The excuses were about a mile long and of course Bobby hadn’t yet mentioned the most important part—- and she sat right in front of him, lounging with such nonchalance that it temporarily took his breath away.
“Allie?” The knife burrowed in his chest and it fuckin’ ached. She was alive, sitting right there… so close. Her hair shined like gold in the afternoon light.
She turned her face to take him in once Dean spoke, eyes gliding over his form. “Hi.” her finger held the page of her book to keep from losing her spot. “Very… living dead girl , right?” she stood to her feet gingerly and gestured to herself, attempting to perform some… sort of light-heartedness? Whatever. It felt forced.
“Look—” Dean began, already knowing the conversation they were about to have wouldn’t go well. “I’m happy you’re alive but I’m not staying and… Lisa…” it’s not like they had ever been together. Why was it so fucking hard to express himself with what he wanted to say? “You need to stay away from me.” The words came out harsher than he had intended and in fact, they weren’t what he really wanted to say at all; it went completely against his nature. All he wanted in the world was to grab her and tell her how much he fucking cared about her, how happy he was to see her beautiful face again. He wanted to hear her laugh, to hear her tease him and tell him to shut up but he had other obligations now. He had a family. He loved Lisa. He…
Allie felt her teeth grinding. Real nice. “Noted.” No hug? No warm welcome? This was the man that she loved, the man that had looked into her eyes while she fucking died and all he could talk about was being with Lisa. She already knew he was with Lisa. Prick.
Dean sighed as Allie’s expression changed to that of subtle anger. She wasn’t always an easy person to read but they had known each other long enough. “Alls, I’m sorry . That didn’t come out right. You know I didn’t mean it like that.” Best to calm her down before the whole house blew up.
Allie stared at him, opting to change the subject rather than remain on something so… fucking depressing. “Is your shirt tucked in?” she placed a hand on her hip. What was he wearing? Did living an apple pie life really mean hanging up regular t-shirts and his leather jacket? “You look so…” she gestured to his whole body. “You look like you watch the nightly news.” she snorted. “And play golf.” She paused. “With a guy named Dan.”
Dean remained stoic though his insides felt akin to burning trash. He almost wondered if he wreaked of it like a wounded animal. He was certain that Bobby knew without even being privy to their conversation.
She was changing the subject - but what could he expect? Somehow he could feel her slipping away and they had only just started speaking. In any other instance, he’d tell her that he needed her, that the moon and sun rose for her in his world; that is what he had come to understand, but the world didn’t work like that. Lisa… he’d come to her in his worst hour and she had taken him in graciously. Lisa was a good woman. Lisa deserved his undivided attention, and that meant Allie couldn’t be around.
Dean gave a sigh and ran his hand through his short hair. This would be a difficult moment, hopefully, one day it wouldn’t hurt so fucking bad anymore.
“I have to go.” No goodbye, no pet name; that would make it feel too final. Even if it was.
She watched as he walked away, seemingly forgetting why he had even approached in the first place. Strangers that lived together for six years - that’s what they were now. Just familiar strangers.
'𝙷𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚗𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚑𝚒𝚖:
𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝, 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎,
𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚜𝚎 𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝙸 𝚊𝚖.
𝚆𝚑𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚜𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏,
𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎.'
