Leather brushed against wrinkled fingertips. A familiar yet strange sensation. The bench seat in the rear of Baby had witnessed many memories. Sleep, laughter, sex…though not her own. Allie generally tried not to think of those moments. After all, Baby may have felt like a second home but yet the Impala did not belong to her. The black Chevy had become a fleeting temporary residence over time. Sure things were getting back to normal but the mud that now tainted the waters of their once clear connection could still be felt, almost heard from a glued back together heart.
The analogy of a dish being broken and never quite returning back to its original state had stapled itself aggressively inside of a constantly throbbing head. She had wanted for months… well… more than months, really, to be back with them. Now it had come and yet the blonde still found herself unfulfilled. Was it a problem with their frayed connection,
Or was it her?
Across the past month or so some instances arrived where Alice nearly let the words come out. Truthfully, that was. A confession. Not a thinly veiled cry of platonic devotion. Something more real and if the courage spiked within her, perhaps even tangible. Intimacy. Those scenes came and went with no brazen effort of admission displayed and soon the trio fell back into routine. Some adjustments due to Sam’s… affliction but still a routine all the same.
If one were to ask Ms. Smith why the water of the love river stayed unspoken and silent within her murky depths - Allie would probably give a slew of excuses, though none would be the master. In reality, she wasn’t quite sure why everything was buried six feet deep in her soul and sheltered. With Lisa now out of the picture things should have been as easy as simply stating something along the lines of ‘I want my bed to be your bed, too’ or maybe ‘us is all that there is for me.’ both options were grand gestures in their own ways. The words so clear and unpretentious, honest…
And yet she still sat in that closet full of skeletons and restrained emotion. If only subconsciously, most of the time. At least the ache had dulled.
“Al, Did you hear me?” grassy-shaded eyes flickered into the rearview mirror, taking in the proximate blonde. They were back on the road. This should have been easy! Sure a certain melancholy still resided inside of him over the breakup with Lisa but he was back with his family now, his true purpose. However, even that proved complicated. Sam… unable to feel anything? Dean struggled with the thought of touring the country with a shell of the younger Winchester, the one he had practically raised. Life was bullshit. Just all bullshit. Constantly.
And now Alliie seemed distant. He had hoped after their tangle in the web of truth concluded that the two of them would just go back to how they used to be. Before the apocalypse, before Hell. That had always been wishful thinking but a man could dream. Nothing would take them back to that old ease. Now he found himself reflecting on those times. Way back years ago when they thought the end of the world was a ghost hunt gone wrong or a particularly venomous demon. Now somehow those were the good ol’ days and Dean lamented with an unfillable void inside himself.
It wasn’t just his relationship with Allie; it was what their relationship had represented to him. The decay of their string constituted a loss of youth, of innocence — if he ever had any at all in the first place. Maybe when he was four or five? A long time ago. Outwardly his appearance and biological age was 31! Still young to most but really on the inside? The time in hell…
He was old. He was exhausted, and, even admittedly, lonely. No Sam, No Lisa, barely Allie…
He didn’t know how to rebuild. The two had never fallen before, at least not this far down.
“What?” Blue eyes didn’t meet the rearview right away, instead opting to focus on the thin threading that tied the leather seat together. How many times had it been tainted and then cleaned? Finally, after a short silence, Allie’s eyes fluttered over to his while Dean’s vantage shifted between the road and the backseat.
“I asked if you’re nervous about the disappearances.” He repeated with a perked brow, thumb tapping casually against the wheel to absently r elieve a bit of pent-up anxiety over her thought process.
“Why would I be nervous?” A fib if one had ever existed before. Aliens? Yeah, she had a thing with that. Everyone had some sort of fear, she supposed. The idea of being beamed and anally probed wasn’t exactly the gift that kept on giving. Well, not to her. Everything had a niche. Rule 34 after all.
A scoff let him and his eyes moved back to the road ahead of them, he couldn’t help but tease her a bit in an effort to relive their past. “Okay, Ripley.” He tried to avoid going too far but did smirk a bit, the side of his mouth perking in jest at pushing her buttons slightly.
A flat expression took over her face and eventually, Allie offered a slight grimace. “It’s not aliens, Dean.” Was that to assert herself to him, or to assure herself that there was nothing to be scared of? The second one. Definitely the second one.
“Whatever you say,” He grinned and took a hand off the wheel to rest on his knee, still tapping lightly but now in a relaxed rhythm. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep you safe, space princess .” the words left him without thought and Dean was damn grateful for that. No hesitation, just familiarity between friends - even if strained.
Allie slid down into the seat with crossed arms and a huff of exasperation over their impending predicament. Aliens. Fuck…"Keep laughin’, douche. You won’t be jokin’ when they perforate your colon with a twelve incher…” She’d meant the words to be spoken under her breath but the silence in the Impala combined with Sam’s ignorance towards their conversation left the words to hang in the air.
Sam gave a short snicker-like noise. Hey may not have had empathy or really much consideration for others at all but even through that the words seemed to reach him and he felt no need to hide his approval of Alice’s sarcastic throwback towards the other male. “Clever.” The brunette responded with a dull interest, fleeting at best. Considering Dean’s conversation with him about being honest and not lying, Sam had begun to express his true inner workings rather than faking a mask of reality that others would desire from him.
It had been going fine.
“Of course it’s not UFO’s.”
“It’s fairies!”
The older blonde woman had a bit of glitter to her eyeshadow, it managed to highlight the... Whimsical nature of her personality. Dean was pleasant as per usual with civilians but Allie stayed quiet. She scratched the back of her head. Fairies? Sure their lives were a big ol’ bucket of weird but fairies seemed out of it, even for them. Though, Fairies would be a more welcomed turnout than aliens. Somehow... the idea of fairies was just better. Wings and shit? Glowing? Cute. Aliens in comparison? Green, big eyes, weird tiny bodies and large heads and fingers up the butt... no thanks.
And then Sam went off on a humorous tangent about her being crazy. Allie had to stifle a laugh. It wasn’t funny that he was being rude to a normal person but his one-liners were pretty comedic. Whatever was going on with Sam was really fuckin' him up. The whole not having a soul thing was throwing off their group dynamic.
Dean went ham on how Sam needed to show a little empathy. Allie just allowed her eyes to glance around the street. He wasn’t wrong. Sam had been giving it to the fairy lady. Not very nice, no matter how funny he was.
Dean grimaced. Here was his brother acting like a complete ass. Soul or no soul, they couldn’t continue on if he kept treating everyone like shit. Originally yeah, he wanted Sam to be honest rather than lie and pretend to be… normal Sam but the guy could at least fake having a little empathy. “You gonna say anything about this?!” He turned in frustration and spoke to Allie who had been unusually quiet. Normally she was constantly talking, or teasing him. Adjusting to their new ritual had proved difficult for the older Winchester and he constantly found himself angry and regretful over running from her, losing the trust that had taken them years to acquire. But she did fucking lie to him! So did Bobby! Everyone fucking lied!
Allie shifted awkwardly on her feet. “Uh…” She didn’t know where to begin. What would it matter if she said anything? Sam wouldn’t listen. He had no conscience right now! “Yeah, you should be second-guessing everything you do!” oh. That came out wrong.
Dean’s eyes slanted at Allie’s attempt to assist. “Seriously?” He could tell she didn’t have much to offer and that only made him more frustrated. “Thanks for the input, Alls.”
Allie gave an apologetic expression that screamed "What? Sorry!" while they climbed into the Impala. It’s not that she didn’t want to help, she just didn’t know what to say. Sam couldn’t be reached. His humanness was caput. What was the point? He rarely understood anything they were saying anyway. You can’t just shake someone and scream at them to ‘act sad’. Well... you could - actors did it but Sam was no actor, that had become abundantly clear.
Sam stared with unfocused eyes, ears perking to the sounds around them. "I already told you, I can't feel what... I can't feel." He regurgitated his prior argument without care. Sure, if Dean wanted to be his Jiminy Cricket he could but being a puppet on a string made him want to inwardly groan. He had been performing just fine before wrapping Dean back into the life. Dean was a good hunter, talented, skilled... but now the complications were beginning to feel like a hassle rather than important at all. Maybe he'd be better off on his own like before.
The ride in the Impala after that was a truckload of awkward. All three of them were pretty much silent. Dean was fucking frustrated. Where was he even supposed to start with this? Sam was soulless, Lisa had left him because of his crap (not that turning into a vampire had been his fault. Sam had fucked that one up.) and now he was back on the road with Allie. Normally that would be a saving grace but now that he was no longer with Lisa…
He wanted to pull over and slam his fist down into the dash, or kick rocks, or break a lamp. Something! Fuck! He just wanted things to go back to how they used to be. When it was just them on the road looking for John. Simpler times.
That night things went from bad to worse. During a routine check of the area, a bright light glowed intense and heated in the sky, the ray tickled at his skin despite being far, and the form in night stars caused an eerie anxiety inside of him. By the time Sam picked up his phone, Dean was running aimlessly through a field of tall corn. He screamed of a close encounter as the heat trailed at his feet, he could feel it emanating nearer and nearer.
"Empathy Sam, Empathy!" His low voice growled in a panicked yell as Sam rhymed off nonchalant questions and quips, as if the whole being abducted by aliens thing wasn't any major concern. "Put Allie on! Put Allie on!" He began to scream in rushed agitation and fear of the unknown that licked at his every step. Only hours ago he had been mocking his little blonde female counterpart and now he was desperate to find himself saved by her, or at least have her offer some semblance of quelling his anxieties. He'd get away, right?
Right?
Sam listened carefully over the phone, face sort of expressionless other than the odd twitch of casual jest at his brow. He took an extended sip of his beer while Dean ranted about grabbing Alice, unphased by his brother's demands. "She's in the bathroom," he spoke with a shrug and turned to look at the women's restroom, noticing no change in the door's position. She'd just left, probably for at least a few minutes. "I'll put you on hold and get her?" He offered, not quite grasping the levity of the situation.
"WHAT?! SAM, NO-!" Dean nearly got the words out right as the beam came and within a millisecond the burner phone hit pressed stalks with a barely eligible thud, the only leftover noise that he had ever been in that fucking corn labyrinth in the first place.
When Sam found Dean's phone and communicated what had happened with Allie she damn near lost it. Fighting with him seemed redundant - after all, it's not as though Sam would understand her disappointment and panic. Why had Dean gone out without her anywhere? For fuck sake! No one in their trio could communicate properly! Don't split up, don't leave the group! There's fucking aliens everywhere!
She left in an aggravated huff and walked through town to find any information that she could. Normally splitting up with Sam wouldn't be optimal but Allie had planned to stay in public and therefore hopefully not be targeted. Being around Sam was growing difficult due to his lack of... everything. In her focus on Dean, it hadn't been lost on her that Sam had fallen to the wayside. Truly Allie just couldn't focus on both issues at once. Now, however, the pain of losing Sam was becoming crystal clear.
During the initial stage of her friendship with Dean, her allegiance had been offered to same due to their family ties. Dean prioritized Sam so Allie prioritized Sam. At the time it had just felt like the right thing to do considering Dean had become a staple in her life. He was consistent. When she offered to tag along and find John... looking back that had been the first instance of true devotion.
But that notion quickly changed over time. She grew to care for Sam as his own individual. Regardless of Sam's affiliation with Dean, Allie would have still positioned herself in his life. Sam was his own person, not a kid like Dean sometimes treated him. Allie grew to appreciate Sam's gentle nature, his understanding and empathy for those around him. Sam was logical but he balanced that side of himself with inner good.
Allie stopped walking midway down the sidewalk, recalling the night that Sam had kissed her. They fought that evening. Somehow the memory was still crystal clear in her mind, perhaps because she had crawled into bed with Dean right after and felt... dirty, as though she needed to scrub her skin of betrayal to both of them. That night had been a failure on her part. At that time she may have come on too strong to Sam, judged him too much. Sam spent so long viewing himself as a freak, speaking as though he had no... purpose, no place in the world. Allie stared at the cracked cement in front of her feet.
It wasn't all about Dean.
She missed Sam. No matter how much she attempted to push that truth away. Dean was still around, but Sam was gone. Maybe now they both were, considering Dean's sudden disappearance.
The blonde took a stuttering breath and composed herself before continuing on.
When she finally returned to the motel Dean was already there with Sam. They were talking and Sam had a hand on Dean's knee as if to provide some sort of misplaced comfort. Probably strange but that action pissed her the fuck off - because it was fake, smoke and mirrors. Her jaw clenched and she set her jacket over the bed, noticing its messy appearance but not putting much thought into it. After all, who would have sex when their brother was missing? Oh right. Sam would. Emotionless Sam, that was.
"Oh my god, are you okay?!" Hours had passed without a word from her years-long connection and Allie ran to him, pulling Dean up from his resting state on the opposite bed of her jacket and instantly moving to hold out his arms, inspecting him for any damages or wounds, breaks or bruises. The usual. "Why didn't you call me?!" An angry expression became directed at the stranger beside her wearing a familiar face as he stood up from the bed. "I've been walking around town like an idiot for hours! It's the middle of the fucking night! You didn't think this would be important information for me to know?!" Her tone was that of a slice through tense air, a knife being flung directly at Sam's forehead.
Sam shifted his weight and stood up from the bed. "He just came back a few minutes ago." An effortless air of unnatural calm radiated from him while Sam adjusted his position and walked throughout the room. "Dean would have called you after we were done." Did he understand the big deal of it all? Not really. She would have found out eventually. Dean was back, wasn't that good news? Why did Allie need to be in everyone's ass all the time?
Dean felt the shift in tone nearly instantly and shut that down without giving it a moment longer. He moved between the two, placing himself directly in front of Allie to advert her gaze from Sam and back to him. Countless fights between his father and younger brother growing up had prepared him well for this. "It's fine," He spoke quickly and reached out to instinctively grab her wrist, the pad of his thumb gently rubbing over her knuckle in an effort to ease the tension in the room and bring her back down to earth. "Everything's okay, I got away from those sonsabitches. Just got back. They got me but I got out. Blasted 'em." For once he wondered if the offering would help at all. Diverting her attention away from his brother seemed like the best way forward.
It took a few minutes but eventually, things calmed, the thick air in the room died down somewhat as Dean spoke very generally of his experience with the aliens. That meant there was only one thing to do - find out more information and try to somehow stop things in the sky from snatching randoms. Great.
Sam and Allie ventured back out together, this time deciding to move as a team considering Allie was damn fuckin' tired of their shoddy communication. No more splitting up, no matter how uncomfortable it was to be with him. Dean stayed back at the motel to recover and that would have been fine. He probably would have rented a porno, ordered some pizza, whatever but when the duo got back Dean stood in front of the room's microwave with widened eyes and described the... hot... winged... nipply... woman. A small, tiny, sexy woman that he exploded in their crappy old heat-en-nater-8000?
Okay.
So they were back on the fairy prognosis. Cool. Allie rubbed at her face with tired hands. At least no aliens. She wouldn't technically be abducted by aliens. Just... hot... petite babes on a search for life-sized men? What the fuck was going on...
The next day they visited the glitter eyeshadow woman that Sam had verbally abused on the sidewalk before Dean's disappearance and Allie had to admit... the woman knew her shit - plus the tea she offered was terrific. Sam asked if bigger cups were available but well... Allie kinda liked it. She felt like a dainty little demure woman holding her cute miniature tea cup. Adorable! Only fuckin' good part of the whole thing.
Upon leaving they had a bit more information in their back pockets and so, they got to work. Tracking down the keeper of fairies hadn't actually been as hard as they originally thought it would be. How? Cream. Eyeshadow fairy lady had noted that fairies liked cream. They walked on a sidewalk and a man whose son had missing... had a lot of cream. He was buying an excessive amount of cream. A math textbook amount of cream.
So that was a dead ringer right off the bat that they had their guy, then came the planning for the take-down... which there wasn't much of. Dean could see the fairies since he had been to the fairy world so it was... basically up to him. They didn't have much of a choice, considering Allie and Sam were rendered useless in terms of helping. At least they thought so initially.
Dean was damn close to losing when they dropped salt in front of the fairy's... master? He was a leprechaun technically but as they had learned, lots of things were technically fairies. Gnomes too. Anyway, he knelt in front of them and began to individually count each. single. piece. of. salt. With the master unable to stop, Sam spoke the ritual to force him and the fairies back to their realm.
Allie's gaze shifted between the two men and the realization set in... this is who they were now. People who fought more than they got along. Sure, things had worked out in the end but Allie feared deep down that their friendships would never go back to how they used to be - that was a tough pill to swallow. Though they won, it didn't really feel like she had gained anything at all. In fact, she had almost lost Dean. Again. Was it a cycle?
