"I could get a body now, I suppose. Leon seems quite attracted to it, so I might even be able to share his bed tonight. I am attached to him for life now, but how long will you have to wait?" Ashagan teased, but I let out a yelp as Mary broke my collarbone.

I had seen it coming and used Restore as soon as it happened, but good lord, that snap of pain made my eyes snap open. 

I pulled myself free, shaking Mary's hands off me, both of them still staring at each other. Neither one seemed to notice what had happened to me, making me want to throw them both out the damn window.

Luckily, there was a knock at the door, and Scarlet came in with... What the fuck was that on the plate?! Everyone's eyes were drawn to the entire loaf of bread that had been cut in half with a whole fish that had wings on between it. I had seen some questionable things in my life, but this was just... on another level of questionable.

The worst part is that you looked so happy and impressed with herself as she brought the plated abomination over to me. The damn fish wasn't even cooked, but she looked so proud.

Before I could say anything, Mary spoke up with a malicious grin. "Wow! That looks really tasty! Too bad that you only brought one!" Mary laughed, but Scarlet expertly pulled a long cooking knife from between her breasts, and cut the Flying Fish Loaf Sandwich in half, causing the blood and guts to leak out onto the plate to soak into the bread.

I tried to keep from gagging as I looked at Mary, who suddenly looked deathly ill. "Look, now there is enough for both of us, how lucky," I said nervously, and then the pale look on Mary's face became aghast.

"I-I t-think that y-you should try it f-first," Mary stuttered as Scarlet watched us both hopefully.

I sighed, looking at the abomination on the plate. I was pretty sure that the fish had only just died since its halves were now twitching. I really wanted to say no, hell, that should be my only answer, but Scarlet... Why did she have to be so cute and beautiful, while also having such a talent for cooking horrible things?

With a resigned expression, I picked up one-half of the Flying Fish Loaf Sandwich, trying to ignore the faint twitching. Mary watched me with a mix of horror and amusement. As I lifted the sandwich to my face, I went through several stages of grief.

First was the denial stage: "This can't be that bad. It's just a creative combination, right?"

Then came the anger stage: "Why did Scarlet have to create such a monstrosity? What did I do to deserve this?"

Followed by bargaining: "Maybe if I eat it quickly, I can just get it over with. Maybe it won't be as bad as it looks."

Then depression set in: "Why is my life like this? How did I end up here, facing a sandwich with a still-twitching fish?"

Finally, acceptance: "Well, let's just get this over with. It's just food, right?"

With a deep breath, I took a bite. The taste was... indescribable. It was a chaotic mix of textures and flavors that shouldn't coexist in the same dish. The fish's freshness clashed horribly with the plain bread, and the wings seemed to add an odd crunch that wasn't needed.

As I chewed, I felt the eyes of both Mary and Scarlet on me, waiting for my verdict. I managed to swallow, and a forced smile appeared on my face. "It's... unique. Definitely something I've never tasted before."

Mary burst into laughter, and Scarlet beamed with pride. "I'm glad you like it! I tried to make something special for you," Scarlet said.

"I appreciate the effort, Scarlet. It's truly a one-of-a-kind creation," I replied diplomatically, but then my stomach turned, and I looked at Mary with a wary look, suddenly not feeling too good, but I wasn't going down alone!

"Your turn," I smiled with one eye squinted and a bead of sweat already rolling down my face.

Mary's laughter stopped as she realized what I meant and looked at the other half. The look on her face said it all, and the look on mine didn't help her, but I wasn't letting her walk away from this!

Slowly, Mary reached for the sandwich but then stopped just before she touched it as the door opened. 

Shelli, Aria, and Lyra all walked in laughing but then paused as they saw me. Then they looked at the sandwich I was awkwardly holding as more beads of sweat formed. 

"You didn't eat that did you?" Shelli asked nervously, and Mary quickly pulled her hand back.

Now both eyes were pinched, but not as hard as my asshole was as I started to profusely sweat. I didn't reply. I just wobbled out of the room, pushing past the girls to the bathroom, and closed the door, trying to cast Restore on myself, but it wasn't working.

---

"Umm, Scarlet? Do you know anything about cooking?" Shelli asked after Leon had closed the bathroom door.

"No," the redheaded golem said with a straight face, making Shelli sigh.

"Next time, maybe ask for help or tell Leon you can't do something. That fish needs to be cooked, but it also has an organ that we remove to dry. After it is dry, we grind it up to make a powerful diuretic. It is even stronger if you eat it raw," Shelli explained, and Mary's face went pale as she realized what she had almost done.

"OH LORD! IT'S JUST COMING OUT OF ME LIKE HOSE!" Leon roared from the bathroom.

"Oh no!" Scarlet exclaimed. "What can I do to help him?"

Aria sighed. "His body isn't poisoned, so Leon can't be healed. It is just forcing his body to get rid of everything inside of it with prejudice."

"WHY ISN'T THIS TOILET ENCHANTED?! IT'S NOT FLUSHING FAST - OH HELP ME LORD!" Leon screamed, making all the girls wince.