Chapter 2 Cilestia 

 

Cold, where’s my blanket?

 

Bothered by the coldness, I rummaged for my blanket, half asleep.

 

Hmm? I can feel something wrapping me up. But I can't seem to move my body properly. Confused, I tear open my eyes, which are strangely heavier than normal. An unfamiliar sight surprised me.

 

‘When I open my eyes, I'm in a dark place.’

 

Or was it too late to say that? Usually, that is the first sentence of a protagonist when they wake up in an unfamiliar place. I was amazed at myself for being able to spout some nonsense in this kind of situation.

 

To begin with, there's no sight. Everything is black, as if light never existed in the first place. My hazy mind and my strangely heavy body. This surreal yet familiar situation—as though I know what's happening

 

Déjà vu 

 

No, I have never experienced this before. This is something I always knew. The more my thoughts come together, pieces of my existence take form, as though I'm coming into life. 

 

‘Isekai.’

 

Amidst my scattered thoughts, a certain word pops up in my mind. A genre I liked in the past... 

 

Wait? Past? Why did I just think of that? As if I know what's happening; not that's the reality that has been forced on me. I’ve been reincarnated.?

 

As those words cross my mind, a loud beat trembles within my chest while my head is hammered with intense pain. 

 

Fuck, ain't this a great time to have my senses back! 

 

Unable to move my body at free will, I was left with no other choice but to bear the pain. My agony lasts for a few minutes until a twisted laugh echoes in my mind.

 

Damn, is this what reincarnation feels like?

 

Enthusiasm rose within me, and at the same time, I realized that the maniacal chuckles were coming from me. Indeed, Isekai and reincarnating in another world were things I looked forward to. 

 

Though, in this place of total darkness, it was silent enough to make me lose my sanity. Obscurity creeps into my body, giving me a sense of hopelessness. My thoughts were the only thing that held me together.

 

My reincarnation was like death. 

 

I couldn’t tell if the cold air that was hitting my skin was supposed to tell me that I had a body. No matter how much I dream of entering a fantasy world, there's a fine line between delusion and reality. Being thrown into this place alone was just lonely and sad.

 

If I’ve really been reincarnated, then my unresponsive body could only be explained if I awakened in an infant body. But why am I in this kind of place? 

 

I’m abandoned? Are you serious? 

 

'Perhaps it's due to sudden rage and sparks of emotion, but it's the time I gain my most valuable partner.’ 

 

‘In every fallacy, she alone was my truth.’ 

 

Who the fuck leaves a child in this fucking place? Who's supposed to be the son of a bitch father? And my mother? Where's that fucking bitch? Don't fuck around if you can't take on the responsibilities!!!!

 

Tsk, it would be great if my parents were also in this place….Fuck

 

I wish I didn’t realize it. The price to pay for reincarnation... I died. They are not here anymore. I'm alone here. A strong pain pierces my heart, and tears roll down my cheeks. It's already too late when I realize—I already lost everything...

 

Quavering low sobs of a young child reverberate from the surroundings. But I know it's coming from me. I can't even hope for this to be a dream. The sound I'm leaking and the feeling of my soaked cheeks only tell me one thing.

 

It's not a dream.

 

No matter how much I rack my brain, there’s nothing but void. Just like this place, it’s empty. 

 

I can’t remember...

 

It was as though the world played a trick on me. The unbearable pain of losing something you can't even remember. 

 

What a sick joke!

 

Don’t fuck around!!!!

 

Don’t give me this crap!!! 

 

Just erase everything from the beginning!!

 

Dammit!

 

Not my memory...

 

I could sense my wearying consciousness; without a doubt, it was due to the constraints of my unstable mind. The despair brings intense pain to my head and heart.

 

At least let me keep my memories about them.

 

Please….

 

I powerlessly pleaded, hoping for a miracle. Yet the reality is cruel. My plea was returned with nothing but the silence of this dark space. I know I can't be with them when I die and in times of reincarnation as well. I'm not allowed to keep anything, not even a memory of them.

 

If it’s like that, then

 

'It was the time, a new desire took form inside me—perhaps a wish or a hope. Whatever it is, I didn't regret it.'

 

I want something that will stay with me forever until the end—even in death and reincarnation.

 

It'd be nice if I had someone who'd always stay by my side.

 

Someone who'll make me happy and would take care of me.

 

If it's like this, I want someone—someone who will never abandon me, someone who will always be with me, no matter what the situation is—someone who will be my light in a situation like this.

 

Each word contained my utmost desire—a thing that became a mere dream to me at this point. My head is quite hazy, but I'm still in the right mind.

 

If possible, make it female. 

 

I’m not….

I don’t want to stick together with some dude forever; that’s disgusting.

 

I couldn't believe it and was amazed at myself for being outrageous at this time. Well, that was a reasonable argument. I think it's okay to be greedy this time and listen to my desires. I was quite considerate before, but I never achieved anything. I want to get what I desire, even if it's deemed to be greed.

 

 

Please, oh god, or anyone around there, please grant me a girlfriend! Wait a minute, did my motive suddenly change?

 

Please, I want someone who will never betray me and go to handsome, rich guys...

 

I want female beauty that will be fine with someone like me and will not NTR'd me with some dude.

 

“Uwwaaaaah!!!!"

 

This time, a pitch-black cry echoes through the surroundings, and we all know where it came from—me. Why am I crying again? Was my fright of NTR always this strong? Enough to make me cry? Yeah, say no to goddamn NTR, fucking NTR.

 

Please let her have a good-looking body, a slender waist, meaty tights, and, most importantly, boobs. Make it big as well, but not too big; too much is no good. Just the right size for my happiness!!! What am I even saying?

 

It seems like I finally calmed do—

 

Something is lacking. That's right—a beautiful face. What's the point of having a perfect body without a face? tsk, I am ashamed of myself for forgetting such an important thing….

 

I am ashamed of myself for being like this, as well as impressed with myself. I never believed I could have two parallel thoughts at the same time. But I can't deny that the face is important— ahh also, ''also,' me'—you forgot another thing; the hair is also important…  It's not really parallel, I guess.

 

That's right, a well-refined face, a well-shaped nose and lips, beautiful eyes, long glistering hair—the color can be either silver or blue. Wait, there should still be innocence in her. Innocence is justice!!

That's the beauty of my dream!!

 

So, where is it? Where's my wife!!? 

 

It turned into a wife all of a sudden.

 

Well, it's not like it will come true. It seems those useless thoughts take a toll on my body. My eyelids are getting heavier. What's more, the chilliness that I have been ignoring since earlier already causes this frail body to freeze. 

 

Those crap fuckers who left me here should have at least wrapped me in thicker fabric. Instead of these thin rugs that can be torn with mere air. I hate cold fuck. I can feel my strength leaving my body. My sight is becoming hazy as I’m about to lose consciousness. 

 

I’m going to die again without even starting my second life—really? 

 

‘That time, why did I wish for something like that?’

 

'I want someone to be with me. That even fate can't do us apart. A memory that will never vanish...'

 

With my final plea, words inevitably form in my head. However, it doesn't matter; it's empty, just like this place.

 

My consciousness slowly diminishes. 

 

Or so that's what's supposed to happen.

 

Huh? 

 

For the first time, I see the unfamiliar outline of my small hands illuminated by ephemeral light. My unrestrained hands reach for the source of light, obeying my feelings. 

 

A bluish light stands right in front of my face, shining brightly in this dark place, despite its size being similar to marble. Although it's near my eyes, I'm not blinded by it. I'm nothing but astonished, mesmerized by this unknown light. 

 

It was close, yet too far for my hands to grasp.

 

As if sensing my intent, it glided just beyond my reach.

 

The moment it touches my hand, a soothing warmth wraps my whole body. As if all the emotion I felt earlier was a lie. This bright light is healing all the mental damage this place causes.

 

I couldn't care less about the craps I spewed earlier. The moment this light materialized, I sensed warmth and saw my hands for the first time. I exist…

Really—thank you…

 

Hmmm?!

 

To my surprise, the light brightens as if it can understand me. Are my eyes playing a trick on me?

 

Mhmm? Can you understand me? I asked, with little hope. Every time I'm hopeful, I get unlucky. Yet, the light clears my doubt itself as it shines radiantly. There was no exchange of words, but somehow our thoughts were connected. 

 

Would you stay with me? Maybe, due to my uneasiness, I found myself asking such a thing.

 

It shines brighter and warmly, easing my anxiety.

 

I’m glad. Don’t leave me, okay?

 

I'm sure that you will be as beautiful as the night sky; no, you will surpass it. 

 

Huh?

 

As I'm having my honest thoughts, numerous bluish lights, as tiny as a dot, surround me.

 

Beautiful.

 

The sight in front of me left me awestruck. It's a very familiar sight as if I'm gazing at the night sky again. I would misunderstand them as fireflies if not for their colors and those twirls of lights.

 

The horrendous, dark space was painted with dazzling lights. Rendering a breathtaking artwork out of black canvas. 

 

You're showing off, aren't you? 

 

I crack into a soft giggle as I catch a boastful beam from this orb of light.

 

You’re quite mischievous.

 

To think the first thing I would lay my eyes on in this world would be this beautiful. Next time, it would be nice if there was a tree made out of light. Like those things in fantasy...

 

Hmm, do you have a name? It didn't answer, but it looks like it doesn't have one.

 

It seems you don't, huh? I will name you then.

 

I decide on a whim, but it seems to brighten a bit.

 

Hmm, what'd be good?

 

You look like a star, so, no wait, right now there are a lot of dots of light, so it looks similar to space. And what gender? You're light but feel girlish for some reason, so female? Female name, huh?

 

So what would be good?

 

Ariel? Not good

 

Aria, hmm, it's almost the same as the first one, so no.

 

 

Stella, no, it means star; it didn't suit you at all.

 

Ahh, I’m sucks at naming.

 

Hmmm

 

Ah, that’s it.

 

After those pointless thoughts, an idea hit my head.

 

You’re much better than any celestial being when you appear in front of me.

 

So I would name you "Cilestia." It's quite a lazy name, but it suits you.

 

Oh, it's grown brighter and warmer.

 

Did you like it?

 

Nice to meet you, Cilestia...

 

My eyes were becoming heavy again. I doubt it was because I’m freezing to death again. My little body was already exhausted. It’s natural since I have the body of an infant. But this time, I stubbornly want to keep my eyes open.

 

Cilestia might disappear the moment I close my eyes. That's the only thing I've got in my head, and that's what keeps me awake.

 

Cilestia, you wouldn’t leave, would you? I ask Cilestia, No I'm pleading.

 

I don’t want to be alone again.

 

Cilestia grew brighter, wrapping me in soothing warmth.

 

Stay with me forever, please.

 

The surroundings and the light disappear as my exhaustion carries me.

 

However, right before I lost consciousness, I...

***

I don't know how much time has passed, but the subtle smell of nature reaches my nostrils. While I heard the distant chirping of birds, a serene symphony followed with fresh air. 

 

The alluring smell of nature became alarming, and following my instinct, I forced open my eyes. Although I was a bit dizzy, I could barely make out my surroundings. Unlike before, I could properly sense my body; albeit awkwardly, I managed to tilt my body against the soft ground. 

 

Hmmm? Is this a bed?

 

Soft light cast a gentle glow across the room, though my natural instinct pointed me in a certain direction. 

 

Silver hair?

 

Natural silver hair that reflects the light, fading into a nature-like shade at its end. Fair skin with blush and a model-like figure paired with the right amount of mass. 

 

I woke up in another world and found a goddess in front of me. 

 

My god, my limbs are moving on their own. As I found myself crawling, the alluring, faint smell of nature became stronger and stronger. 

 

Is it coming from her?

 

I think I already moved a little bit, but I could already feel the unreal silkiness of her hair below me. Being this close, I got a better look at the sleeping person in front of me. She has a well-defined face—an unparalleled look I have only seen for the first time. Although her eyes were closed, her glossy red lips caught my attention.

 

“...........!”

 

Beyond all of those, something forced my young body to sit, appreciating the sight in front of me. A white see-through nightgown revealed almost everything. Strangled enough, I calmly sit without doing anything else. 

 

Maybe I'm yet to produce the hormone for that? I'm not getting horny.

 

Though this sight alone was worth admiring, unfortunately, my eyes were getting heavy, and a soft yawn escaped my mouth. As my body wobbles, an emerald eye halts the time. The person in front of me tilts her head slightly to meet my eyes, with a gentle smile, she makes out certain words in a soft voice. 

 

“Good Morning…”

 

It’s an unfamiliar language, but I felt like I understood what it meant. Nevertheless, she's really...

 

Pretty!

 

“Uwhaa!”

 

Hearing my unfamiliar voice for the first time, I unexpectedly found a familiar  bluish orb in front of my eyes. It tapped my forehead a bit, and the next second, exhaustion rushed into my small body. My consciousness immediately faded; thankfully, I landed in something soft and warm.

 

“Ehh, huh?”

 

Alas, that wonderful moment was registered as a dream by my accused brain.