It's ten in the morning, and the smell of a mixture of medicines and cleaning products invaded the atmosphere of a small waiting room at the clinic where Victor, along with his wife Emilia, anxiously waited for the return of the doctor.

They listened to the sound of rain hitting the windows, and with their haggard faces from lack of proper nutrition and numerous nights of insomnia, the couple occasionally glanced at the door leading to the operating room.

Angelo had always been a healthy child, in addition to having a good personality that brightened up their day with his smile.

But for months, the smile on his son Angelo's face seemed like a distant happy memory. That innocent smile was something they had never seen again since the day they were called from school to be informed that he had fainted.

This is an English translation: At first, it didn't seem too serious as he recovered quickly, but after taking him to the hospital and running multiple tests, they were diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. His disease was very advanced, and the only option was to perform a dangerous surgery while subjecting him to chemotherapy.

Months later, the day finally arrived, and the hours passed like days while waiting for the surgeon. Finally, the door opened, and Victor felt a knot in his stomach when his gaze met that of the chief surgeon, but he simply shook his head from side to side.

Victor felt his heart stop when the doctor said, "I'm sorry." After that, their world collapsed; Emilia never recovered, and neither did Victor. Their relationship deteriorated to the point of divorce. With his share of the house sale, he bought a small boat to somehow continue with his life.

"The sea is always pleasant."

Victor's first thought when he set sail in his small boat was that.

 

---

 

I come to my senses and realize I'm in a desperate situation, wrapped in a web of tentacles that hold, squeeze, and strangle me. In this dark and suffocating prison, I'm trapped in utter helplessness. I realize there's no escape possible; there's absolutely nothing I can do to free myself.

The hundreds of small tentacles inside my body start moving and selectively tearing apart my organs. My flesh and innards are drilled or torn, just enough to make me suffer immensely without killing me, giving this damnable body time to regenerate. Every move I try only increases my agony and suffering, trapping me in an endless whirlwind of despair.

"Why are you doing this to me, Gor? You know I love you."

I love you with all my soul, with every part of my being, I love you more than anyone I've ever loved in any of my lives.

"Why do you hurt me? I just wanted us to have a happy life."

I just wanted a peaceful life with you, spending eternity by your side.

"It hurts so much, please stop hurting me. Please, my love, let me go."

I can hear my body breaking and regenerating over and over again; I can't take it anymore, Gor has finally had enough of me and has decided to punish me. I surely deserve it.

"No, no more, please, I can't take it anymore. Gor, I can't take it. No more, no more, please, stop."

It hurts so much, I don't want anymore of this. My tears fall uncontrollably as I beg someone who's supposed to love me.

"It hurts so much; I don't want more, I don't want more, I don't want any more, please just stop."

No matter how I apologize or plead, he doesn't stop. No matter how much I try to reason with him, nothing seems to work to appease his anger.

"I'm going to die, Gor; I don't want to die; I don't want to die again; I don't want to disappear again."

My life is an absolute hell, and if I ever went to hell now, I doubt it could be worse than this.

 

 

"What did I do to deserve this? You are everything to me in my life; I am nothing without your love, and you know it."

Why do you have to put me through this? Do I deserve to suffer and go through pain like this again?

"It seems like I don't mean as much to you… Isn't that right? You were content with me being your toy if that's what you wanted, but that's not enough for you."

Maybe you don't love me? Maybe the love we felt for each other wasn't real?

"Why do you have so much jealousy towards my dead son? It's absurd, he's not even here. The love I felt for him was very different from the love I feel for you."

I think he can't differentiate between the love for a partner and the love for a family member or a child. Even if he's still immature, that's not my fault, I don't have to be punished when I didn't do anything wrong.

 

 

How did I end up like this? What made me fall in love with him? Almost infinite happiness? That's why I became his slave? Because without him, I can't live anymore? Because without him, I can't feed myself?

 

How did we end up together in the first place? How did we fall in love? How did we meet? I barely remember.Why was I in love with him? What attracted me so much to him? My memories of that day are very blurry; it's like that part of my mind is behind a wall.

This damn buzzing almost prevents me from thinking clearly… It hurts so much… it's annoying…

Why did I end up giving my life to him? What happened after that?

"It's all a lie, right?"

No, nothing of that was real… Now I remember... My heart fills with hatred when I recall the endless torture sessions, when I was torn apart over and over until my mind almost broke completely.

"It hurts; stop hurting me monster, damn it, or I swear I'll make you pay for it!"

The tentacle around my neck tightens even more, completely preventing air from entering my lungs.

I didn't give my life to him, he took it by force and made me his servant when I was nothing but an insignificant, weak, and humble existence.

How could I forget something so important? It's like my mind…

The headache gets much worse, it's stronger than anything I've felt before, and saying it hurts is an understatement, even overshadowing the pain in the rest of my body.

Oh! no, no, no, no!

This is terrible, but if I pass out, it will be my end. If I pass out now, I'll be lost forever.

Why is there so much noise outside? It's annoying… Those inconsiderate humans just screaming and making such a commotion only make me feel worse.

Even though it's curious how those insignificant beings simply explode with every tentacle strike, I envy them… I wish I could die so easily, it would be wonderful to cease existing in an instant…

But the truth is, I don't want to die and lose everything I have now. I had to endure so much suffering and humiliation when I was nothing but a puppet for all these years.

Now I finally have everything I dreamed of when I was Victoria.

The incredibly powerful archmage marquess Lord Julian Berich Nightsun? My ridiculously talented brothers?

Don't make me laugh; they're all just insects compared to what I can achieve in the future. My potential isn't even in the same league as theirs.

Of course, I first have to survive…

 

The buzzing in my head feels like my brain is being blended, but I won't give up this time… But what happens if I just give up?

It's easier to just surrender, and all this is going to stop hurting. I can just go back to being happy like before...

No, I do not want that.

I won't give up, I won't give up! I will not give up! I will not give up!

 

This is absurd, but damn it, yes, reboot the shit, it's hard to get worse than I am now.

 

You're kidding me, right? I said yes! yes! yes! Damn it, I'm going to die and you're asking me stupid questions!

I'm burning! I'm burning! Now, in addition to the terrible headache, feeling like I'm being torn apart from the inside, I have to add that I feel like I'm burning alive!

Why does everything have to go wrong in my life?

Why does everything have to hurt me?!

Nice, nice! Now, can you please stop burning me? I already have enough problems, damm piece of shit! Ahhh, damm, damm... I am going to die...

Why? just tell me why? What terrible things did I do in a past life? No! skip the damn intro!

....

Yes... please...

Anything fireproof would be great now...

After a while, the sensation of being engulfed in flames, after feeling my blood boil inside my veins and, for a moment, being sure that I would inevitably die. The terrible heat finally stops, like nothing happened.

It's ridiculous, this stupid system seems to have been made by inconsiderate sadistic monkeys! doesn't matter... doesn't matter... I have to focus. Victoria, you need to focus to survive now... Leave the complaints for later...

And that there's such a thing as evolution—I've never heard of it. Is this what happened when I stopped being human?