Mejias shared more about her life, after that, asking questions about the souls she saw. ‘What does the moribund look like, to you?’ she asked Iseult. ‘Hmm. Like a person is coming into focus. Before death they sort of look ghostly. Ironic, right? And then as they’re passing, I can see the series of events leading to it happening on repeat, a moment of high energy time, and their soul comes into sharper definition. Why do you ask? What does it look like to you?’ Mejias reflexively played with a string on her pale pastel patterned sweater, a birthday gift from Hija’s mother, wrapping the loose pilled thread around her finger, her eyes set somewhere in the distance. ‘It’s different for me, then. It’s, I mean, I can see what you see too, not the ghostly part, obviously, but the part where a high energy moment cycles, though for me the soul fades a bit, rather than sharpens. But it’s something more, too. There is something at the point of death.’ She dropped the string, her eyes making contact with Iseult’s, an intensity in them. ‘It’s like, I don’t know. Like a sort of hole opens? No, not really that, more like the soul inverts, maybe? Like it's sucked in and then out?’ She ran her fingers through her messy hair, frustrated with the insufficiency of her description. ‘And, and I can tell how long they’ll stay, it’s like their soul starts to decay as soon as they transform, like they start to dissipate right away, it’s, it’s unstable. I can see the strength of their resentment and know how long they have left.’ She looked back up at Iseult, her eyes sad, ‘It’s not something I want to know.’ That was somewhat horrifying. The end of their life may still be a mystery to Mejias, but she knew exactly how long a soul would remain coherent. ‘And what do I look like, to you?’ Iseult asked slowly, hoping this was not a painful question, but unable to resist knowing. Mejias smiled at her sunnily, her sad expression clearing, her shoulders relaxing. ‘You’re not going anywhere.’
What did this mean about her, Iseult wondered, after Mejias had left, gone out somewhere with Hija. Did this mean she still had resentment, that she hadn’t really found resolution after her death? Perhaps it was that she had become more emotional over time, more stuck to the world of the living? She felt conflicted, she could no longer remember how it felt, exactly, to be a human. But of all the forgotten human feelings, loneliness was memorable. Was she lacking something as a ghost? She suddenly felt less than in a way that she didn’t know she should care about. She had gotten used to loneliness when they had first moved to the city, Orikka and then later Mejias were able to go out and about in a bustling metropolis while she was isolated, only visible to the two of them, but now it resurfaced.
She had long known that her personality had gone through a huge shift from when she was a living human. She used to have a rather bubbly personality, if occasionally a bit bratty, she could begrudgingly admit. She had certainly matured during her time with Orikka, having to be responsible for a whole host of angels, as well as doing research for the moribund. She had enjoyed the experience at the time, felt empowered by it, but now she felt a bit as if she had lost something of herself, along the way. Mejias’ revelations about the longevity of souls made her feel a bit lost. She shook her head. It was good that she wasn’t going anywhere, she shouldn’t get self-conscious about it. There was still so much to do. So much to help Mejias do.
Elske’s arrival was a surprise. It was Mejias’ first meeting with him that she would be aware of, his previous visits happening when she was still very young and not yet forming memories. He arrived late at night, interrupting a family supper. The inhabitants of Sonsoliel frequently had a meal shortly before bed. Given the time-skipping nature of the city, it was possible for the nights to occasionally be several hours longer than elsewhere, and no one liked waking up in the middle of the night hungry. They were serving out the coconut curry, passing around the crisped basil leaves and lime slices when Elske made his appearance, gliding down onto their rooftop deck, where they frequently held their evening meals in order to eat under the night sky. Despite the city’s light pollution, some of the stars were still visible when they turned off the lanterns surrounding the deck.
When Mejias was young Orikka would bring her out and point out the different constellations, telling their histories to the tiny girl. Mejias had a brief stint where she was interested in tracking the stars, even insisting on purchasing a star atlas to fill out, but nights spent mapping quickly devolved into an excuse for Mejias and Hija to stay up well past their bedtime. They never did finish mapping out the atlas, and it was now a part of the overflowing bookshelf in Mejias’ bedroom. The bookshelf had never been cleared out of books, and so had a range of age appropriate stories all the way from baby books to her current tweens. The room itself had never been redecorated since Orikka and Iseult first painted the night sky on the ceiling of her nursery, surrounded by a ring of fluffy cumulus clouds. The stars were painted with a fluorescent dye best visible at night when the other lights were off. The only thing that had changed was Mejias’ bed, which’s current iteration was an elevated bunk with a cozy couch nook underneath where she could curl up to read. She had draped brightly colored fabrics over the shelf it created and strung tiny origami lanterns, each shaped into a different animal. It was incredibly cozy.
‘Orikka!’ Elske greeted, bowing grandly, his paper wings spreading widely with a flourish, the glittering ink of the talisman refracting in the light of the lantern’s flames, the subtle rustling of paper barely visible over the sound pollution of the city. Probably to showcase their width and perceived majesty, Iseult thought caustically. Well then. It was possible she was jealous, she realized with sudden and unwelcome clarity. That was an unwanted revelation. Perhaps she should look into getting wings. Though she would hate to see the smug look on Elske’s face if she did so. No. Never. She would never allow him the satisfaction. Mejias peered at his wings with great interest. Hmph. They weren’t that great.
He tucked his wings behind himself, the paper talisman whispering behind him. ‘Unfortunately I do not bring good news. The moribund in your city has become particularly active. I have been seeing more and more souls from Sonsoliel pass. I thought you might appreciate the alert.’ He sat down at the table, pulling up an extra sitting cushion and folding his legs on top of it neatly. ‘This looks good! I haven’t had human food for ages’ he quickly piled himself a heaping plate. ‘What do you eat instead?’ Mejias asked, eyeing his full plate curiously. Elske shoveled food in his mouth, ‘Mghf. Excuse me,’ he delicately dabbed his mouth with a napkin as if he had never broken composure and stuffed his face. ‘Primarily the water animals that inhabit the library, seasoned with refracted light. They’re convenient and I don’t have to leave the library. I have a lot of work there and I can’t take too much personal time.’ He said, his chest puffed up with importance. He shot Orikka a proud look, as if asking for commendations. ‘Thank you for your hard work,’ they replied, agreeing. Elske preened.
The moribund ratios were off in the city? Iseult supposed it was true that she had noticed an increase in coughing when she went out. A sickness going around, perhaps? One bad enough that people were dying from it? There had been regular mild coughs and sniffles each winter, but nothing out of the ordinary. Whenever an increase in human illness arose she always worried whether Mejias could get sick. She had been a fussy baby, but she hadn’t caught any ailments. They had been rather careful about taking her out into the city when she was very young, partially for her sake, but also because Orikka was still getting used to being human. Being human was such a delicate condition. She’d have to keep an eye out.
