"Fuck!" I mutter as I leave the car , heading to my apartment building .

Thought she was cool, then out of the blue, she's spooked. Her demeanor, a mirror of the chaos in my head post my first hits—an unsettling sensation, akin to living a never-ending nightmare.

The episodes faded as I grew accustomed to snuffing out lives, evolving into an emotionless operator. My rap sheet is long, a collection of deeds that stripped away any lingering morality.

Post my mom's exit, I convinced myself that the only shield for our shattered family was through bloodshed. I made a solemn pledge to shield Rosa, Angelina, and Rafaele. I'll keep that promise, even if it means stacking up another thousand bodies.

No regrets. That's why those haunting nightmares might be a thing of the past. The calm I found in killing, twisted as it is, became my fortress of serenity.

Amara's meltdowns, probably triggered by the blood on our hands. I thought about prodding her, but the tight-lipped defiance etched on her face warned me off. That damned emotional fortress of hers rises again, and I can't stand it. She'll spill her guts when she damn well pleases; my only choice is to play the waiting game.

The gnawing frustration at my own uselessness eats at me. I despise feeling this way, utterly impotent. Strangely, though, it doesn't morph into resentment. Nah, it's love that amplifies my hatred for seeing her in such torment.

I enter my apartment, and Rosa hugs me.

'Dam…' Enveloped in Rosa's embrace, I battle to conceal the smoldering embers of frustration. Objectively, I should savor her secured safety, yet my thoughts stubbornly orbit around Amara. It's a maddening gravitational pull into the depths of my consciousness.

"Rosa."

She pulling away from the embrace, and a subdued smile escapes my lips in response, a dim reflection of acknowledgment.

"Did he do something to you?"

"Armando saved me… Luckily." Her demeanor shifts, and a furrow forms on my brow. My gaze briefly flits to Armando, a stoic figure standing sentinel, his eyes vigilantly surveying the surroundings.

Daisy accompanies him nearby. I release a sigh, noting the scene. Adjacent to the canine companion, a petite brunette, shorter than Rosa, captures my attention. Meanwhile, Rafaele sprawls indifferently on the couch, seemingly uninterested in acknowledging my arrival, engrossed in the television's allure.

Surveying the surroundings, I cast a hopeful glance, praying that the trio—Rosa, Daisy, and Rafaele—didn't wreak havoc on my second apartment. Relief washes over me as I draw in a breath; everything appears to be in its designated place. Great.

"Armando, I owe you big time." I pass Rosa and embrace the big guy. He pats my back, and I can see in his eyes that he didn't take it as a favor. His expression is unusual for him—typically detached, but now holding a hint of something else.

"And, you are Miriam. Am I right?" I ask the girl as I pass the dog, who wags its tail. Next in line, Miriam stands staring at me curiously.

"Yes, sir. My name is Miriam." I observe her more, and I come to a decision.

"Come after me." I turn and step towards my room. She follows me, and I close the door after her.

"Sit on the bed." She sits and looks at me, confused.

"Don't worry. I only want to ask some questions." I sit on the chair, prepared to judge her.

"What do you know about your father?"

"My father is dead. He was the boss. And, he liked to kill a lot." Her words seem detached, and her eyes stare innocently at me.

"Do you know how to kill?"

"Of course. I can kill for you if you want. Do you like to watch people get killed too?" Her eyes sparkle, and I sense something is wrong with her. She seemed so innocent yet so dark.

"Did you kill for your father while he watched?" I frown, and she doesn't even take time before answering in a cheery tone.

"Of course. He said I was born for that." God, she is messed up. There is no way I can trust her.

"Miriam, I can keep you here within my gang. Do you want to stay?" I ask her since she seems to be able to kill, and I don't want any of my men to die because of her. If she can protect herself, she is free to leave.

"I want to stay. I like Daisy a lot. Armando won't give her to me, so I want to stay here." Her words make me frown. Guess I should thank that dog for making this crazy girl stick freely to us. If she wants to stay, then I can work something.

"You can stay. But, you will have to respect our rules. Can you do that?"

"I will." She is weirdly serious, and I sigh. Guess I will have to teach her some common sense using the gang. This is the only way she can see what's normal and what her bastard father put her to do.

"Good. You are free to go." She bounces off the bed and closes the door to my room.

I sigh and close my eyes for a moment. Miriam is another person I will have to present in front of the Commission. I will have to take her in with the knowledge of the other leaders of other families. Maybe I can put her to be the next leader of her gang.

She kills. Everyone will trust her if they see her dark side; no one will be able to go against her wish. She just has to brush up her personality more. If I put her a few months with Emilio, he will drill in her everything she needs to know.

Perfect.

Rafaele gets inside the room and closes the door after himself. He tosses himself on the bed. "Guess father is dead."

"Yeah. Keep that secret." He smirks at my words.

"Of course."

Silence settles, and I am bothered by something I just realized. "Don't you find weird the way Armando looks at Rosa?" I frown, and he smiles.

"You just realized?"

"Realized what?" I cross my arms, still frowning.

"The two of them are whipped for each other. I mean more Rosa." He smirks.

"I should have not put Armando to guard her." I tsk and stand up, ready to call the two of them in the room and give them a speech.

"Just don't." Rafa is stretching his leg, blocking my way.

I sigh. I know they are free to do what they want, but not really whatever they want. I don't permit Armando to touch her until I don't see a fucking wedding.

I turn and sit on the chair. "I will observe them more and decide what to do with them later."

"You will get mad at how Rosa looks at him. Better give them your blessing and leave them alone." Rafa sighs and stands up from the bed, getting out of the room.

He has a point. As long as Rosa likes him and he takes good care of her, I should let them be. I stand up and lie in bed. Taking the phone out of my pocket, I look at the clock.

It's almost time for dinner, though I am not feeling hungry. I ate with Amara the food we brought. Still, I lift myself up and get out of the room. I really can't stand leaving Armando and Rosa alone. The thought pisses me off.

The couch is occupied by Armando, who is close to Rosa. Daisy is playing with Miriam on the floor, and Rafaele is sitting at the counter, eating some spaghetti. I feel a vein popping, and I head towards the couch.

"Make some space." I sit in front of the two, and they look at me confused. They make space between them, and I sit there satisfied. Rosa is nudging me, and I turn to her.

"You had space on the other couch." She is frowning, and I don't give a shit. She will not touch Armando. Not on my watch.

"I could. Does it bother you I sit here?" I turn to the TV and watch it, not caring about her complaints.

"I do. I wanted to talk to Armando. You sat your ass between us. Did you know you are a pain in the ass…" She continues rambling as I watch the news.

I glance at Armando, and he seems uncomfortable too. Really? You too? Can't believe I am seeing this! Either way, I won't give them any time alone. Not when they hid their relationship from me. I will have my payback.

In front of me, on the floor, Miriam is distracting me from watching the news. She is really playing with the dog like a kid. When she said that she can kill, the image I have in front of me makes me wonder if she can actually kill. It's disturbing her childlike behavior while her words sounded so dark. Salvatore created a monster behind our backs? I will see for myself what can she do.

After the news were finished, and I stole some pasta from Rafa, I head to my room. They are watching a movie, but my eyes tell me to go to sleep. They hurt like a bitch.

I close the door and undress. I get under the covers, my skin feeling the cold sheet through my boxers. I take my phone and text her. To my Bittercandy.

Dami - Bittercandy, are you sleeping?

Bittercandy - No.

Dami - Why not? You need sleep.

Bittercadny - I was about to close the phone and sleep.

Dami - Do it after after we talk. Are you ok?

Bittercandy - Why won't I be …?

Dami - I mean your lower half.

Bittercandy - I am fine. I am going to sleep.

Dami - …..I will visit tomorrow. I will see for myself.

Bittercandy - Do it.

Dami - I will.

After she says good night, I return the sentiment, and I close my eyes. I really wanted to see her, hoping tomorrow will bring that chance. Yet, something gnaws at me, a premonition that time won't be a luxury in the coming days. The night is dark, and sleep claims me faster than expected, a lingering thought in my mind

Let each day carry its own damn worry; why lug around the baggage of troubles before they even show up?