Time passed gradually but definitely; I tried my best each day to talk with other people, take part in class discussions, help others with their problems, answer teacher questions, and fair the best grades on the tests that the college held. Within just three months I became known throughout the class and got nicknamed “the student guru.” To the one who did not know the whole story it appeared as if I was the bright magnificent one, the one whose company everybody enjoyed, the one who was always there, the one who was friends with everyone in the class without any enemies, but the truth is such people do not need anyone to be their enemy. Their mind does this work perfectly, slowly creeping inside their bodies, keeping them awake at night, making them think of the situation when they are no longer capable of producing the desired product, producing in them a constant fear of rejection and worthlessness...   

It was time for the annual tests and as an old class moved up a scale a new class came to take its place. I was sitting on a chair in the garden spacing out and trying to make sense of things I didn't understand. It was as if I was trying to grasp something that could never be held, finding a firefly in the brightly lit sunny morning, or kept running not knowing the direction I was going in. I covered my face with my hands and rubbed my eyes. Then I brought them closer to my mouth and exhaled. Through the corner of my eye I saw a girl coming in my direction and this baffled me. She was an average heighted girl, with long black hair tied into a pony-tail, and a ribbon that held them together. She had some freckles on her cheeks which I noticed as she came close and her eyes were big and dark that caught the other off guard with their depth. I have neither seen her throughout the year nor I was the type of guy to be popular among the girls. In fact I would be definitely be called a pariah.  

"Excuse me. Are you Enoch?" 

"Yes, I am. How can I help?" 

"Well, you see I was having a bit of trouble choosing the elective subjects for my first year. Can you guide me a bit about it?"

"Yeah sure. Why not? So, what are your interests?" 

She was amazed at the question. It was the first time I suppose someone asked, what her interests were and wanted to know what she felt. 

"I do not know. I cannot get a grip on what I would like to study."

"Hmmm. Well, that makes it tough, but we can find a way through it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am. Why not change my question a bit?"

"I do not understand."

"Don't worry. What if I ask you what you think you need to study rather than what you would like to study?"

She was shocked. The way I changed the question and brought her more in contact with herself was nothing short of a miracle in her eyes. It appeared as if I separated her into two individuals and made her question herself. It was surely with its benefits. She found her consciousness finding answers to the question at hand. She dug deep into herself, her interest coming face to face with her, the things she kept thinking about subconsciously pointing her towards her purpose, and after a few moments of deep thought, she replied   

"I know what I need to do," she said victoriously.

"I am glad I could be of help to you."

"By the way, my name is Sophia. Can I ask what were you thinking about when I surprised you?"  

"Well, it is not much, but I was thinking about why we are here. What purpose does each of us serve? Are we just here out of coincidence and like animals are born, nurtured, learn the art of earning or serving others, and in turn do the same thing as our forefathers?"  

"What do you mean by the same thing as our forefathers?"  

"You know; doing as the authorities say, going on with our routine life, serving them and pleasing other people to get yourself promoted and have a better life, finding someone, getting married and having kids who repeat the process. That is the most absurd way of living there is in my opinion."   

"So, what do you think is our purpose?"

"I think we are here for the world, and the world is here to support us."  

"Then how will you explain the existence of free will we all believe in? Doesn’t your concept sabotage it?"  

"No, it does not. It answers it at a deeper level. The world is given to us, and it is we who decide what we want to do with it. We can either destroy it, make it hell for others, rob it of all it is worth, or support ourselves. And it is also upon us to go against the flow. To wage war against our very own nature and contribute to the world, make it beautiful, uphold justice and protect those who need it, and go against the ones who try to de-stable the world".  

"But what if there isn't any purpose ad you are just overthinking things?" 

"Maybe you are right though then everything is nothing but absurd."

"Hmmm. I think I would go now. It's about time my class started."

She went back the way she came as I kept my eyes on her, unaware that for a mere second my face had lit up and I was grinning like a Cheshire cat.  

I entered my dorm room and placed my books on the table. Icarus who was sitting on the couch by the fireplace raised his long, thick eyebrows as he saw me, perhaps there was some dirt on me or a piece of food stuck in my moustache.

"You are in quite a good mood today. It has been a long time since I saw you smile genuinely."

"Turns out it was entirely something else. Huh? Me, smiling genuinely? I am always smiling, Icarus. What are you implying?"  

"You have been pretending for so long that you have forgotten what a smile means. Look at yourself in the mirror."

I looked into the mirror hanging on the wall just to find a person I do not recognize anymore.  

What has happened to me? The hair on my head and the light beard I have are in shambles; I have changed so much over the past year I can barely recognize myself. It is not just the hair; I even have dark circles and tension lines. Since when I started to have them. I remember I was not like this when I got admitted to this college. Even though the smile on my face is different. Icarus seemed right. It is the first time I have noticed myself. I got used to wearing a smile that I forgot what one looks like. The smile that Icarus mentioned changed me as a person. It made me aware of myself, of where I was going.  

"So what happened that you are like this right now?"

I told him the usual daily routine and the meeting with Sophia. 

"Well, I’m happy for you. At least you found a person you loved spending time with, and that one little encounter made you smile after so long. But you know that nothing good happens when you smile like that, right? " 

"What do you mean, Icarus?" 

"Don't worry you will understand in time... " 

I pushed Icarus to give him a satisfactory explanation but he just refused by saying that he will not tell anything further and I was able enough to figure it out himself. After a while, I gives in and went to sleep.