This story is ok but it could have been more than ok, In my opinion it couldve been better, I saw the potential of a great fic from the start. Unfortunately that potential was bogged down by the authors way of telling the story.

The story especially the early half was written like a diary/autobiography, not necessarily bad but the problem comes from the fact that author even up till the recent chapters (although not as prevalent and annoying) infodumps an egregious amount of time. Taking my immersion out of the story time and time again.

With that out of my chest here are the pros and cons of the story (TLDR at the end) :

PROS:

 - The bigger picture: 

The story has a destination. At any point in the story did it feel like the author didn't know what the ending of every arc could be.

- Character interactions: 

The characters are not just cardboard cutouts interacting with one another, there intersctions felt real and plausible.

- Characters: 

The MC and the other supporting casts are not perfect they make mistakes, acknowledge it and learn from it.

Cons:

- Info dumping: 

This is a nasuverse fanfic I get it there are a lot of things that need context and explanation but the thing is we have the nasuverse wiki for that. The expositions are long and they are in a lot of times inconveniently placed sometimes in the middle of a fight or a major point in the story, consequently taking my immersion out of the story.

- Contents of a chapter: 

A chapter especially in the early half of the story could just lead to nowhere and just consists of expositions after exposition. Majority of the early half felt like I was watching dragon ball z because of that.

- Characters and Character interactions: 

There are characters introduced in the story that are never mentioned again consequently we never really get the idea of there conclusion.  Next is the character interactions, earlier I said its one of the pros of this story. The problem is the author never really maximized this strong point of the story and instead maximized on long expositions and info dumps on random things that could be mentioned again or never mentioned again.

- Character relationship:

It couldve been handled better, character relationships in this story is its strong point but the author barely fleshes it out. The development of relationships are briefly mentioned and thats just it suddenly in a random chapter their relationship has reached a plateau with barely any explanation on how their relationship developed. Oh and romance/harem is barely there at all.

- The ride: As the saying goes " ts not about the destination its about the ride" this story is the antithesis of that in about every way. You get a clear picture on what the author is leading up to and what they intend to do but boy oh boy how it leads up to it is a mess, aside from the egregious amount of exposition/info dumps, development of any kind are just  briefly mentioned, massive amount of the MC inner monologuing, death of both antagonists and supporting characters have no impact whatsoever, characters making a mistake does not lead to a major consequence it felt like every supporting cast has a free get out of jail card with every mistake they make.

With the pros and cons settled I would like too admit that the story is still enjoyable/worth reading in its own right (if you're bored) my advice to the author when it comes to exposition/info dumping is to only do it for the the things that they specifically think will be making an impact to the story moving forward anything besides that should only be briefly mentioned.

Sorry for the major yap session and the grammar (ESL debuff) I get heated when it comes to books. 

TLDR: Story couldve been great but its bogged down by expositions and the author not focusing on the storys strong point which is the characters and how they interact.

Read More

Wasn't to sure with this for the first couple of chapters, But I'm glad I stuck with it and cant wait for more chapters! 

Really like how the story and characters has been progressing so far.

I'd recommend skipping the info dumps early on if it feels boring reading those. I still knew basically what was happening after not reading most of it.

The pacing is pretty bad the first dozen or so chapter. Its gets way better as the story goes on, to the point its seriously impressive how much better the author gets when comparing the start to the recent chapters.

There are some spelling errors like calling a guy her and some chapters arent spaced right. That being said it by no means unreadable or a hassle to read. (Except maybe the chapters with no spacing..)

Read More

Awesome! I'm complete simp for this fanfiction! Not the original I mean... totally my cup of tea, pure bliss for me 😊

Read More