Really well done. It settles into a vignette style that gives a slice of life feel. The smut is quality. The setting is like a Magic the Gathering system apocalypse, which is fun, and I don't feel it requires any special foreknowledge from the reader. I don't play myself, but I enjoy this story.
Two elements that I think propel the story while also being slightly unexplained and unexpected are a lack of panic and the addition of casual s*x. I think the average person would panic more during an apocalypse, especially with so many people dying around them. Also the average person usually asks for dinner before s*x.
Spoiler
(I do think they had dinner but it was still like day one s*x, with the excuse being, 'oh, this casual s*x might increase our odds of survival.')
[collapse]
The majority of the characters aren't that casual about s*x, but the fact that it does appear in the story even once may be relevant to some readers.
All of the characters are handling the apocalypse pretty well and not falling into the kind of major panic that would leave them a dysfunctional wreck. No one addresses this fact either. Perhaps there is an explanation to come, but it remains slightly unbelievable. On the other hand, not wasting pages describing the protagonist's tears and fears allows the story to immediately get into action and drama, which is something I can absolutely appreciate.
So far so good. Tis a nice start to a smuty survival hive queen story. I really enjoy how species effects the mentality of the survivors, and the system is robust without being to gamey. We'll see how things progress in the future.
Spoiler
I'm looking forward to seeing how the MC grows into her Dominance. For now she's still struggling with it, and lets it push her towards silly decisions, or ignores it entirely when she's unsure/embarrassed.
I have a lot of thoughts about this story, and it might seem overly negative, but I do like what's here so far for the most part.
For what I like, the setting is great. It's a strange situation where at this point in the story I don't really know what has happened to them. It's a mystery set up and it's handled very well and I looked forward to learning more about their situation as things progress.
The characters are all interesting too. Each have their own skill sets, their own lives, before and after whatever dropped them into this situation.
Each of the characters so far has something they can contribute to the group, learning to leverage their own advantages in that situation.I like the choice to have the MC be a bug. We could do with more bug girls in this world so I will always enjoy that aspect.
The progression is steady and reasonably well paced, though how it is handled is where I start having problems.
So, as for my issues, they are mostly structurally based, far more than any minor gripes I have with the plot.
The biggest issue is the sheer torrent of status screens. I like LitRPG because it gives a tangible sense of progression that is addictive to follow along with. The issue comes with authors use status screens too scarcely, or in this case, too liberally.
There are numerous status screens in every chapter, from showing off a few perks to showing the whole sheet whole hog. For me, Status screens are less interesting, and more informative. I will read them, assuming they are strategically used, but in this case, it's a shotgun approach. Statuses everywhere, abilities shown, never really described. A lot of the time, when status screens are shown, it could have been described in dialogue or internal monologue.
That's my biggest gripe. I personally don't really want to see anything relating to status more once every five chapters in a story, if that. Another issue I have here is with perspective change. A horizontal line is used for every scene change, which is totally fine, and it's how I handle my perspective changes. My issue is that we get several little vignettes switching from scene to scene to scene without really getting to bask in the character interactions. Sometimes they are only a few small paragraphs long.
I think less changes with longer interactions over a few chapters would serve the story a bit better. As it is, I find it a bit jarring. I get into a scene, I start visualising everything, then a cut to the next scene before I can get immersed. Rinse and repeat. It is a lot of characters to juggle, so I understand the choice, but it does take away from my enjoyment a bit.
Over all, this is a good story, and I look forward to seeing where it goes, despite the issues I might have with it.
A dark but whimsical LitRPG progression epic that respects the speed of light for 6.82 books.
She had always despised her puppetmaster’s strings. For six long years, they’d bound and controlled her. When opportunity finally knoc
Follow the life of an innocent child as she begins anew in Artana.
As she grows, Iris begins to notice how wrong humanity as a whole feels.
She tries her hardest to become strong enough to protect those dear to her.
All while unr
Nightmare Fantasy Online.
The newest entry of the mega game corporation “Terra Sol AS” line of world-changing games and a hot new member of the VRMMO-genre.
And now, a young girl tired of reality wishes to obtain a new life
Volume 1: Our protagonist finds himself reincarnated as an imp in a world with magic! Armed with his wits and understanding of the modern world, but with no recollection of who he was or even the name of where he came from, he attempts to surviv
Betrayed and murdered for daring to expose the deeds of the corrupt.
Snatched from the void of death by the capricious hand of cosmic coincidence.
Brunhilde Krahe finds herself reborn into a bizarre world of magic and conspiracy, el
Really well done. It settles into a vignette style that gives a slice of life feel. The smut is quality. The setting is like a Magic the Gathering system apocalypse, which is fun, and I don't feel it requires any special foreknowledge from the reader. I don't play myself, but I enjoy this story.
Two elements that I think propel the story while also being slightly unexplained and unexpected are a lack of panic and the addition of casual s*x. I think the average person would panic more during an apocalypse, especially with so many people dying around them. Also the average person usually asks for dinner before s*x.
(I do think they had dinner but it was still like day one s*x, with the excuse being, 'oh, this casual s*x might increase our odds of survival.')
The majority of the characters aren't that casual about s*x, but the fact that it does appear in the story even once may be relevant to some readers.
All of the characters are handling the apocalypse pretty well and not falling into the kind of major panic that would leave them a dysfunctional wreck. No one addresses this fact either. Perhaps there is an explanation to come, but it remains slightly unbelievable. On the other hand, not wasting pages describing the protagonist's tears and fears allows the story to immediately get into action and drama, which is something I can absolutely appreciate.
Read More
So far so good. Tis a nice start to a smuty survival hive queen story. I really enjoy how species effects the mentality of the survivors, and the system is robust without being to gamey. We'll see how things progress in the future.
I'm looking forward to seeing how the MC grows into her Dominance. For now she's still struggling with it, and lets it push her towards silly decisions, or ignores it entirely when she's unsure/embarrassed.
Read More
I have a lot of thoughts about this story, and it might seem overly negative, but I do like what's here so far for the most part.
For what I like, the setting is great. It's a strange situation where at this point in the story I don't really know what has happened to them. It's a mystery set up and it's handled very well and I looked forward to learning more about their situation as things progress.
The characters are all interesting too. Each have their own skill sets, their own lives, before and after whatever dropped them into this situation.
Read More