Some said life is akin to a point on a wheel. Everything that comes up will eventually go down.
Sometimes you're up; other times you're down. Nobody could predict what the future gives.
I believe otherwise.
Not all things that rose up will eventually go down. Like someone's age. Well, it might stop—only when you die. Some people's ages still got counted up posthumously, for celebrations.
Not all things that went down, will eventually go up. There are probably no limits to how far one could fall.
In the study of Mathematics, there's the thing called Minimum Point.
It's not exactly because its value is the lowest.
It's the point you finally rose after continuous fall.
There's no Extreme Minima in a human's life; no absolute minimum point. You could always fall deeper until you finally break down and even that wouldn't be the end.
Realizing it made me remember the saying from a motivational speaker in one of his audiobooks.
He said, when you finally hit rock bottom, you can rest assured because you won't go deeper. The only way to go is up.
He wasn't exactly right. The true rock bottom was an imaginary place. A point in the past before you begin to rose from defeat.
The rock bottom appeared right after you took that first step.
I saw the Minimal Line. Rising up from my despair, I saw the sceneries unfolding: of people from various walks in life; their fall and especially when they finally stood up.
Each time I saw those visages, I knew, that my life had been going in the right direction.
Will a human's life always filled with ups and downs, just like a point on a wheel?
Maybe it's more interesting that way. Often I saw those people experiencing lives so happy and relaxing; it's probably only a moment because one couldn't tell what happens next.
From what I observed, a human's life is ever changing. So many things could happen when you took off constraints such as time and place.
Even the reality that we perceive might be all different. Some could even see spirits and aura.
What decides our fate in the end? Was it our own actions, or was it the higher power's decision?
I do not like the future I couldn't grasp with my own hands. I do not like having to pray at the gods' mercy, not knowing if it will come true.
As a mere human without noticeable talents, I always felt a strong sense of inferiority, due to how little I could do, even compared to my peers.
In my entire life, underachieving is my middle name.
I had no special talents which could let me achieve my dream: living a leisurely life, doing whatever I want the most and be freed from financial obligations. For every day to be filled with love, and for an all-peaceful future.
I had always been low on motivation. It's like, there's nothing in this life worth getting serious at.
Until today, I realized:
When I threw the idea of perfection into the garbage bin, this world went from a constant warzone to a playground. I really long for that sensation, of being all adventurous like a kid again. To act all childish as I could; disregarding the rules and doing whatever I want.
I just want to screw up a lot of things, break and ruin everything with little to no damage caused. Better yet, if my act of ruining was able to garner positive results; even a negative one was fine.
I felt alive from the idea that I was still learning and would always be learning more. I could just shelf the past and start anew.
The true way of my ascension begins henceforth.
...and when everything else fails, I am glad I could always defend myself with the word of 'maybe'.
I might never fully understand who I am, but I have my own goals.
Those will be my path. Experiencing new things this life had to offer, all tailored according to my tastes.
...and thus, I started over.
