“You cannot do anything.”

“There is no salvation for your family.”

“They will all die agonizing deaths and there is nothing you can do to stop it.”

Those were the thoughts that wriggled inside her mind for the rest of the day. Unavoidable and unabating, they crashed over and over against the barrier of self-lie she had put up.

G-Granny Yan is wrong! They must be… they must be fine! L-look, their fevers are down! So what if there are a handful of tiny crystals growing on their arms? They don’t even say they are hurting from it!

It was what the poor girl could only do as she spent the rest of the day with her family, playing with her little brothers. Aaron and Pip, rejuvenated by their big sister’s potion, begged their mother to be allowed to play outside their house. And their mother, seeing their puppy smiles, relented. Felicia tried to object, but they too won her over.

She never told any of them the truth. It was simply too painful for her. Or rather, she refused to even acknowledge it. She began to delude herself that her mentor was wrong and mistaken, and that this crystal disease would eventually settle itself on its own. Even if the crystals wouldn’t leave their bodies, it wouldn’t take their lives away. After all, they felt no pain from it, so what was there to worry about it, so she told herself.

The four brothers decided to play a simple hide and seek game around the village. It was a simple game that wouldn’t tire them much. Of course, as usual, Felicia was designated to be the “It”. Aaron and Pip had their own private rivalry where they counted the times they had been found by her every time they played this game. But for today, they decided not to do anything crazy like hiding on the roof of the village chief’s house. They didn’t want to make their big sister worry. The two noticed the scared looks she kept giving to their direction. And they believed she was just being a good big sister, worrying the fact that the two (Pip was soon revealed to suffer the same ailment) had these tiny crystals growing on their arms. At first, they were scared of the fact, but the crystals didn’t even itch, so they quickly got over it, believing that whatever disease caused it, it would eventually be cured as long as they continued taking their big sister’s super amazing and special potion as she had instructed.

Felicia, still in denial, followed along with them. She went all around the village to look for them, all with a forced smile on her face. On the way, she met with the villagers—people whom she had “cured” with her potion, and they all thanked her for it with smiles on their faces.

She could only lie to them in response.

After multiple rounds of the activity that was only interrupted by their humble lunch, Felicia was, as always, declared the victor, as she never failed to find a single one of them. However, hiding time wise, Aaron had won. He managed to elude his big sister for a good hour and a half, as he hid inside a stack of hay and then fell asleep there and then, giving Felicia quite the unfortunate scare. After that, they all returned back to their house. The sun was already sinking on the horizon and, as usual, their mother wouldn’t want them to be out and about when the night fell onto them. They washed themselves, had their dinner, and then went to bed. There was not a single complaint coming from their mouths, a fact that only reinforced Felicia’s delusion that there was really nothing wrong with them.

Come the next morning, however, that delusion was promptly crushed by reality itself.

“I-it hurts… B-Big Sis… my chest…. I-it hurts so bad…”

"M-my stomach… it… it's burning, Sis…"

Aaron and Pip were the first to suffer. The two cried profusely as the former clutched his chest and the latter held his stomach.

N-no… this can't… this can't be happening! 

To Felicia who had been denying the truth, it was a wake-up call back to reality itself.

"H-here! Drink!" She gave them more of her potion. It was the only thing she could do in the situation, even though she knew it was completely useless. They didn't have any fever after all.

And then, she ran, ignoring the calls of her parents who were panicking just as badly as her.

I-I have to… I have to ask Granny Yan for her help again!

Even though she knew the alchemist had decided it was a lost cause.

S-she can… she can fix this! Y-yeah, she can fix this for sure!

Her eyes went wild as an eerie smile plastered her face.

She burst into the house. The old woman was sleeping on the couch. She shook her body to wake her up. No response.

And then, she realized just how cold her body was.

N-no… Nonononono!

She shook again, and again, and again, to no avail.

The old woman was dead. She had been shaking a corpse all along.

She stumbled backwards, tears pooling in her eyes.

Her only salvation… it had been taken from her.

----------

After telling the village chief of Granny Yan's death, she tended to her two ailing brothers for the rest of the day, giving them comfort as much as she could. And by that, I mean giving them no comfort at all. No matter what she tried, what potions she brewed, there was nothing she could do to lift the pain they suffered.

Their eyes who begged for her help, and the eyes of the rest of her family who cried for them—they all judged her as a failure, not only as an alchemist, but also as an older sister.

If only… if only I had learned my magic… dark magic… I might be able to do something for them….

The voice of her mentor rang inside her head. Even if it meant making her be the one who suffered in their stead, she would do it. She didn't care if she had to sacrifice her soul for it, as dark mages often did.

And then, it happened.

"S-Sis, I-I can't… I can't breathe…"

"M-my stomach… i-it's… I'm going to… bluarghhh!"

Pip puked blood all over himself, while Aaron gasped for breath, wheezing and coughing as his body tried desperately to obtain more air inside his lungs.

After suffering for an entire day, their symptoms worsened all of a sudden. It was all too obvious to anyone that if they didn't get the help they desperately needed, they would no doubt perish from it. But what could their family do, other than to wait for the inevitable? Their Father and Mother had left the house, looking for any help they could get from their neighbors. When that wasn’t enough, the father left the village to run to Karkala for help.

And Felicia… Felicia could only sob and cry as her little brothers suffered. She wiped the blood and puke off Pip’s clothes, while she tried giving Aaron help by pumping her chest.

After half an hour of unending pain, they stopped moving.

Just like that, she had lost two of her siblings.

The horrified and pained look on them that was carved to their corpses, she would never forgive it for as long as she lived.

---------

It didn't stop there. Oh no, it didn't. Fate was nowhere near finished with her.

The next to perish was her two other little brothers, Bryn and Elt. The former suffered from an awful headache while the latter found his neck to be covered entirely in crystals starting the next morning.

They didn't have time to bury Aaron and Pip, so they simply kept their body inside at the living room.

At this point, her mother declared that it had to be a plague, for the other villagers were suffering the same way. She begged Felicia to leave and run, even preparing a pouch of money and a bag of clothes for her.

The girl, of course, insisted on staying.

"There is nothing you can do here, you foolish girl!" Her mother yelled with tears. "You're the only one here who isn't infected so you shouldn't even be around us in the first place!"

"No Mother, I refuse to abandon Bryn and Elt! I've lost Aaron and Pip and I'm not going to lose them too! I'm immune to it because I'm a mage! That's what Granny Yan said!"

"Y-you? A-a mage? B-but how… we don't have any mage blood in our family!"

"I-I don't know either!"

The mother bit her lip. "Fine. You can stay. Normally, we'll celebrate for that, but now, we have to hold on until your father comes back with a healer."

Felicia nodded as she returned to caress and kiss Bryn's head, in the hope that it could calm his headache.

When the father returned, however, he didn't return with hope.

He told his wife how Karkala was being ravaged by the same plague, and that no healer was capable of curing it. And so he was told to return and savor the last moments he had with his family.

This realization broke his wife. She fainted then and there, just in time for him to catch her.

And Felicia, who overheard all that, could only cry once again.

--------

Bryn and Elt passed away that night, just like Aaron and Pip. The former had a crystal piercing out of his skull while the latter had his little neck perforated by a ring of small crystals.

It didn't stop there. Her father and mother had fallen ill as well, with the former suffering from sudden blindness and the latter losing all feelings to her body, being unable to move even an inch.

Felicia tried to get help from the other villagers, but there wasn't a single one who wasn't infected. Only she remained healthy and uninfected.

She was alone.

She cursed her fate. She yelled to the Founder, asking her why it was only her who was given the gift of a mage. Why couldn’t it be one of her families instead? She didn’t need it. She would rather die with them and to live on her own with no one to love or be loved with.

She cried and cried and cried in her father’s embrace until she could cry no more. He was sitting in the living room, right where the corpses of his four children were.

“Shh, Felicia, my dear Felicia, listen to me,” he whispered. “Do not hate the gift the Founder has bestowed onto you. That only means you’re special, my dear. She has deemed you worthy to be saved compared to us.”

“W-worthy? B-but that’s stupid! How can she do that?! Why would she save me and me alone?! You and Mother and Aaron and the others… you all deserve to be saved more than me! I’ve done a lot of naughty things! I-I still remember when I slapped Aaron that one day! He cried from it!”

The father chuckled. “And he deserved it. He put bugs into your clothes as a prank, even though you have told him many times not to do it. After that, he treated you better, right?”

Gently, the man rubbed her back. He knew his death was inevitable so the least he could do was to make sure his daughter would be able to live once he was gone.

“Felicia, listen carefully. Your gift… the gift of a magus… use it well. The Founder… she must have chosen you for a reason. You, of all the people in our village. You, who are born to two people who don’t have a drop of mage blood inside them. So please, do not curse that gift. Once we’re gone, I want you to live the best life you could using that gift. I know, that with your diligence, one day, you will be a great mage—one that the whole Magocracy—no, the whole world—would acknowledge. You might even make it to the Council seat. If you’re talented enough, then they would welcome you for sure.”

Felicia remembered what her dead mentor had said. “The Council was not to be trusted”, and how this plague was brought into being by Vehta, one of its members and the mage that ruled over this province. She was about to tell him this fact, but relented. She didn’t want to ruin the belief of her father, not when he was like this. He had worked so hard all his life as a farmer, so that he could provide for the mages. What would he feel if she revealed it was all for naught, that the magelord he so admired was an evil man all along?

And so she held her tongue, falling silent as she couldn’t bear to agree with him.

"Seek Lord Garza. He's the mayor of Karkala. Go there and tell him about your plight. Since you're a mage, he should take you in."

"L-Lord Garza? But I'm just—"

"He's a kind and just ruler. He would not mistreat you, I'm sure of it." He flashed a comforting smile.

"A-alright…"

To beg help from someone she didn't know… she couldn't look forward to it. But it wasn't like she had any other choice. She had no other relatives, after all.

"Now go to your mother. She wants to speak with you, I'm sure of it."

Felicia nodded and moved herself to the bedroom. She then gently hugged the woman laying on the bed, tucking herself with her in the process.

"Dearie." She smiled. She could still move her head. It was only the rest of her body that was unresponsive. "Come closer. Oh, how I wish I can hug you right now."

"My dear, I want you to promise me one thing."

“P-promise, Mother?”

“That what happens now wouldn’t prevent you from looking for your own happiness. We all might die, leaving you all alone, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. You’re still young, so young. And you’re a mage too. Your future… I can see it… it will be very bright indeed. With your alchemy and magic talent, you will make your way up in the Magocracy. In one year, you would be ten, and then you’ll be able to enter the Magic Academy at Mira. They give out scholarships there, for those who have the talent but not the money to attend. My wish is for you to go there and learn. Learn and learn and learn as much as you could. Those who are learned in the ways of magic could go so very far in this kingdom of mages.”

Felicia kept her silence, listening to every word her mother was saying. For all she knew they could be the last she uttered.

“But, more importantly, you should look for a good man to be your husband.” She smiled. “Your father… he has been really good to me. So, I want you to find a man as kind as he is."

"M-mother, why are you talking about this all of a sudden?" Felicia pouted with a blush, while at the same time teary-eyed as well.

“The witches in those fairytales… they’re all ladymages who never get married, aren’t they?” She let out a short giggle at her own joke. “I don’t want you to be like them, alright? I want you to have your own family. Being all alone in the world… no one deserves that fate.”

Alone.

Only now, as it loomed down over her, that she feared those words.

Sometimes, she would feel that her little house was too crowded, and how it would be nice to have her own room. She would also feel how her little brothers could be too tiring to take care of sometimes. Her mother wasn’t always there to keep them in line so that role had fallen to her.

If only… if only she could go back to those times… she would never complain about them, ever.

“Oh dear, you’re crying again. Please do not cry. You’re far prettier when you smile, you know. Just like your mother. If only I could pat your head… that always stops your tears…”

“...Mother! Mother! Please do not go, Mother!”

As her daughter buried her tear-filled face into her bosom, she realized just how painful it was for a mother not to be able to comfort her own daughter. It brought her to tears as well.

“Felicia…”

“Oh... “ She looked up, seeing her husband standing in the doorway. “Come, my dear. She needs you. In fact, let’s sleep together, just this time. Like the old days.”

Slowly, the blind man made his way to the bed, guided by the many years he had spent inside the small lodging. And then, he picked up Felicia, hugged her, before resting beside his wife, putting their daughter in-between them.

“There… there… let it all out… I won’t tell you not to cry, for you will not have anyone else to cry to.”

He patted her head, feeling the warmth of her daughter’s hair between his fingers. His only regret was not being able to see her face one last time before he’s gone.

Eventually, the little girl fell asleep, leaving only two of them awake. 

“Dear…” He heard his wife’s voice. “Now that she's asleep, can you please kiss me again? Oh, and hold my hand too. If I'm going to die, I want it with you by my side."

The man chuckled. "Now, my dear?"

"Yes, now. If not, I'm going to cry. This pain in my heart… only you can soothe it, my love."

He sighed. "You're right. I've been staying strong for Felicia's sake, but inside, I want to cry as well. Four sons dying in two days. And in such a horrible way too, from a plague that our mages cannot cure. What are the odds?"

"Do not blame yourself, my love," she replied. "We, powerless, magicless people, can only accept the cards given to us. But Felicia, she's different. She's going to outlive us and become a great mage."

"That would be nice," her husband replied with a smile. "Let us pray to the Founder that it comes true."

The two shared their one last kiss, before linking their hands together with Felicia in the middle.

When Felicia woke up the next morning, she woke up to the smiling faces of her beloved parents—smiles that they had kept even as crystals perforated the father's eyes and the mother's back.

Now, she was truly alone.

---------

With the words of her parents ringing in her ears, she began her work.

Using a shovel she had procured, she began digging two large rectangular holes and four smaller ones.

Graves. She was digging the graves for her own family.

The rest of the village had gone quiet. They all had perished from the plague as well, leaving her as the only survivor.

It would be impossible for her to build a grave for everybody else. But, at the very least, she wanted to send her family to the afterlife in a proper manner, before she made her way to Karkala.

And so, using what strength a nine year old girl could muster, she stabbed the far end of the shovel into the dirt. Immediately she found that the process was harder than she expected.

She wasn’t going to give up though. She would give them the graves they deserved. It was the least she could do.

So, through the tears clouding her eyes, she continued her work.

It took her an entire day and night to finish the job. She collapsed on the dirt once she did, luckily not going into one of the holes she had built. When she woke up, she promptly returned back inside her home and carried the corpses of her family. One by one she did it, even if she had to drag her father and mother’s corpse on the dirt. Her stomach growled. She hadn’t eaten anything at all. Her mother had put some dried bread onto her travel bag, but she refused to eat it. It was for the road, not for when she was still here.

In retrospect, it was a miraculous feat, for a girl of her age to be able to do something like this on her own. But her determination had led her to do the impossible feat of climbing the mountain on her own and returning back safely. This was nothing compared to that.

First, she put Aaron and Pip side by side in their respective burial holes. The two had been dead for a while so they began to stink, but it didn’t bother her. In fact, ever since this day, the smell of corpses no longer bothered her in the slightest.

Then, it was Bryn and Elt's turn, an easy task knowing their light bodies.

Last but not least, her parents. She began with her mother, then her father, dragging them by their hands as strongly as she could. To make sure they fell properly, she pushed them instead once they were close to their holes. Still, they fell head first, with their arms and legs in awkward poses. She hated it, but it was the best she could do.

And then, after saying her goodbyes to them, she began the next step, bursting into tears as their faces disappeared forever under the dirt.

The process took her half a day, and when she finished, she wailed in front of their graves, promising them that she would not disappoint them, and that she would be a great mage when she grew older.

“Oho? What is this? A graveyard?”

“Seems to be freshly dug. Don’t tell me that little girl was the one who did it?”

“On her own? Don’t be silly. Unless she uses magic, it’s impossible.”

“Look. She’s the only survivor. That means she has the potential. Maybe she does use magic after all.”

Her tears only stopped when she heard voices coming from behind her.

It was an entourage of mages.