How do you guys feel about the story so far?
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How do you guys feel about the story so far?
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Its Good! Keep it up! Votes: 43 57.3%
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I like it, it's entertaining. Votes: 25 33.3%
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Its ok Votes: 5 6.7%
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Eh Votes: 1 1.3%
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Mhm. Kinda boring. Votes: 1 1.3%
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If something doesnt happen soon ima drop Votes: 0 0.0%
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Ugh. Bad. Votes: 0 0.0%
Total voters: 75
I just wanna gauge how you guys are feeling about this story. It's my first time writing first person, but I'm trying me best :>
I usually write horror n dark stuff w/ the occasional side of smut all in 3rd person, so switching to first is a bit of an experiment for me to expand my writing repertoire. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated, even though I have a few already published and picked up works, I still aim to improve and write mostly for the sake of reader engagement and the peeps. So please, if u have a gripe, complaint, or note of how I can improve,
OH, And I am working on some artwork(paid for by me patreon, bless them), so u may start seeing that n future chapters :p
20
Love the story also I don't think I ever mentioned this but I love that the dwarfs are massive.
That being said I am very interested in finding out what happened to the demon kings castle and his daughter.
Yeah I always found it all that dwarfs are small when by definition they should dwarf other things no? lol
I like it so far.
I’m just straight up not gonna read a story if I don’t like the main character and recently I’ve fallen more into enjoying the typical good guy than evil or antihero protagonists (usually cause they’re so needlessly edgy
). Which is to say I like Hiro.
His internal monologue is personalized and fun which is something I always like from first person stories, he’s kinda unstable and that only makes him better. More importantly though is I like why he’s considered ‘antihero’.
Characters being a product of their environment is way more enjoyable than them being that way because they have to for the story. I like that Hiro is acting defensively against humans because he wants to protect his grime family (be a good boss) and not because he hates humans.
I like seeing him initially trying to save the priest lady (yeah I forgot her name, who’s gonna cry about it? Not her, she’s dead) but moving on quickly after she died. Him formerly being a Hero who made it to nearly the end of his journey gives some sense of competence, even if it’s usually intercepted by his duck-induced erraticism. We don’t know much about his past yet but being able to get that far means he had some kind of ability; bumbling idiot characters usually just piss people off anyway (especially if they’re the main one).
I also really like the minion’s personalities, them being able to resist orders adds a lot to them. I really liked when Slimey didn’t want to let Hiro get clean and how they’re very attached, hopefully Dave can get some therapy and beat his depression.
(Also no lemon please, they’re too sour
)
Thank you! This is great feedback :3
I can imagine Hiro finally finding (and capturing) the demon kings daughter, and subjecting her to a hundred years of sewer water as punishment