Chapter 27: Stop Hitting Yourself!

Harley glared at Lucas who had spat his drink on her.

“I may be crazy, but I still think it’s rude to spit on other people. Unless you meant it lewdly.”

“...Take it that I meant it lewdly then.”

“Oh, so good! I think I just came…”

“...”

Lucas quickly sat away from Harley who was shaking in excitement.

Even Selina who was sitting next to her changed seats and sat on the other side of Lucas while Pamela simply distanced herself from behind the counter.

Selina looked at the counter seat Harley was sitting on and sighed.

“We’re going to have to replace that chair.”

“Yep.”

“Then I’ll throw it to the sun.”

The three of them nodded to each other.

Ignoring Harley, Lucas asked Pamela.

“Where’s Barbara by the way?”

“What do you think? She’s off with Batman fighting some weird robot thing with the rest of the League.”

“Speaking of which, is it fine you’re not joining them? The fight seems intense.”

Selina asked as she remembered what she saw in the news.

Lucas didn’t actually know who the League is up against but since his brother hasn’t notified him, they should be able to handle it on their own.

While the three of them chatted and laughed while ignoring the crazy woman on the side, a group of people arrived in the bar as well.

“Well well well! What a nice place you have here Harley. Personally, I still think it’s missing a few blood splatters here and there but, you know. Everyone has their own tastes!”

Hearing this voice, Harley’s face paled and she was no longer as playful as before. Pamela and Selina also frowned upon seeing the uninvited guests.

Lucas just calmly sipped on his drink without minding the group of people who arrived.

“You’re not welcome here Mr. J!”

Right. One of the people in the group who just arrived was a familiar-looking clown with a pale white face and green hair. On both sides of his lips were red scars curling upwards as if to form a smile.

Joker!

“Now now Harley. What do you mean by that? I’m always welcome anywhere I go! Who doesn’t like a good ol’ clown to put a smile on their faces? Don’t act so distant. Call me Puddin’ like you used to!”

Beside him, a short fat man with a pointed nose and a monocle held an umbrella as he walked to one of the couches in the bar.

“Get it done with Joker. We don’t have all day.”

“Fine fine!”

Joker shrugged and skipped as he walked towards Harley and sat down on the seat beside her.

He acted cool and gestured towards Pamela who was behind the counter.

“Barkeep, I’m treating everyone! Just put it in my tab!”

“You don’t have a tab. And I’m not making a tab for you. Get out.”

Pamela rolled her eyes and didn’t care about him.

In her mind, she can’t help but shake her head at how unlucky they are...to actually come here while Lucas was visiting!

Joker seemed to be used to being ignored so he didn’t care.

He pulled his gun instead and pointed towards Lucas.

“Who’s this guy? Is he a stripper here?”

*Bang*

“Oops! Sorry about that. I pressed the trigger by mistake.”

Joker laughed and didn’t care about Lucas who was shot in the head and fell to the ground.

Actually, Lucas can dodge that easily...and even if he didn’t, this kind of bullet doesn’t really hurt him at all.

The reason he fell down was simply to wait and see what these guys are up to.

Plus, it would be fun to see Joker’s reaction later.

After laughing for a while, Joker realized that Harley, Pamela, and Selina didn’t react at all and just looked at him weirdly.

“What? Is there something on my face? Am I too handsome? Hahahaha!”

“...Ew, gross.”

Selina frowned and continued to drink her drink.

Harley glared at Joker and asked.

“What are you doing here Mr. J? I told you we’re done! I’m not joining whatever it is you all are planning!”

“Relaxx Harley. No one’s forcing you to do anything! We’re just gonna kill you if you don’t join.”

Joker twirled the gun in his hand but spun it too fast and it fell to the ground.

“Oh, one sec. Let me just get my gun quick.”

“...”

“Where was I? Right. Killing you guys. So!”

Joker grinned and pointed at Harley, then to Pamela, then to Selina.

“Are you. Joining. Or not?”

“BANG!”

Joker shouted as if to surprise Selina who was pointed last but saw that she remained unmoving, he made a sad face.

“Oh come on. Really? Doesn’t surprise you even a little bit?”

“Get out Joker. We’re not interested in joining this Injustice League of yours.”

Vines started to stretch from the walls and threatened to attack Joker and the others who came with him.

Penguin was still sitting on the couch and didn’t care about the vines.

Riddler didn’t care either and simply twirled his cane on his finger while watching at the scene with a smile, as if he was just a bystander watching in the sidelines.

Deathstroke still had his arm crossed but one can see him ready to pull his katana in a moment’s notice if the vines were to attack.

Dr. Light snorted and his hands started to glow.

Reverse Flash grinned and lightning flickered in his eyes.

On the ground, Lucas still laid down while musing to himself.

Injustice League huh? They formed quite fast. It seems not all members are here though.

Since the Justice League seems to be busy with something, are they planning something now?

Anyway, since things had come to this, might as well stop playing dead now.

Joker sighed and shrugged.

“Well. Like my buddy Snart keeps saying. If you’re out. You're out!”

Joker was about to pull the trigger for real when they all heard someone moan.

“Mmm, can’t you guys quiet down. So noisy.”

“...”

Joker blinked in surprise and saw the guy he shot earlier slowly stand up and even yawn.

Before he could get a good look at the guy’s face, a bright light blinded everyone for a second.

In this second, Lucas ran towards the Reverse Flash first to deal with him while he was still shocked. Otherwise, by the time he reacts, he would have already used his speed force and it would get a bit troublesome.

Lucas knocked him out first them moved towards Dr. Light who was the least affected person by the flash earlier.

After him, Lucas moved towards Deathstroke and punched him 10 times to make sure he’s down. 

Penguin and Riddler were easy prey.

Finally, Joker was left alone. Lucas wasn’t in a hurry to knock him out but he still took his gun and pulled his underwear behind him. Classic bully wedgie.

After the second was over, he used Martian Manhunter’s shapeshifting ability and morphed into Joker’s appearance.

Joker shook his head and squinted his eyes while trying to adjust his vision from the flash.

He attempted to shoot randomly but felt the gun in his hand had disappeared.

Soon, his vision returned and he saw someone stand in front of him.

That person...was himself!

Joker rubbed his eyes to confirm if what he was seeing was real.

After confirming that he was indeed looking at himself, he chuckled and didn’t seem to be worried.

“...Why, hello there handsome.”

“...Why, hello there handsome.”

Lucas had read his mind and knew what he was going to say so he copied him while speaking at the same time.

“...I’m Batman.”

“...I’m Batman.”

Joker rubbed his chin and felt like he just found his new toy.

He posed for a few moments and Lucas copied him.

Joker turned around and walked a few paces forwards before turning around suddenly while his fingers formed a gun and shot as if playing some kind of texas shoot off.

“Bang!”

*Bang!*

The only difference was...Joker’s gunshot was him shouting.

As for Lucas, he used a real gun which he took from Joker!

The bullet hit Joker’s foot and blood splattered. Joker winced in pain and hopped like a rabbit while holding onto his foot.

“Ahh! That’s not fair!”

“Ahh! That’s not fair!”

Lucas continued to copy him as to annoy him.

“Stop that!”

“Nope.”

Well, Lucas had enough already so he charged forward and punched Joker in the face.

He held his strength back so as to not make Joker faint immediately.

“Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself.”

“Ha-ow!...Haha-ow!….hahahaha! That’s funny! Ow!”

He really is crazy. Despite being pummeled, he still dared to laugh…

Lucas shrugged and tossed him to the side.

Seeing as Joker had fainted, he reverted back to his true appearance and smiled at Pamela.

“Did you get it on video?”

“Yep!”

“Nice! I’ll show this to Batman later.”

“...”

Selina rolled her eyes and looked at the unconscious members of the Injustice League.

“...Can’t believe you dealt with them all so fast…”

“That’s because I don’t chat with them unnecessarily before fighting them. I mean, have you seen Superman? He keeps talking to his enemies before starting the fight. Don’t even get me started with the Flash who seems to make it a point to keep talking while fighting.”

Lucas shrugged.

“Besides. They let their guard down too much.”

Pamela sighed and looked at Harley who was busy stomping on Joker’s face who was still unconscious.

“So what are we gonna do to them?”

“Strip them! Chain them up! Then put them in glass cages for display!”

Harley smiled while answering.

Everyone was speechless.

Pamela and Selina looked at Lucas who just shrugged.

“Hey, it’s not a bad idea?”

““No!””

Lucas and Harley laughed at their reaction.

Then, Harley suddenly hugged Lucas and kissed him on the cheek.

“Thanks for beating up Mr. J, Cupcake!”

“...Cupcake?”

“Yeah! I don’t like Puddin’ anymore. From now on, you’re my Cupcake!”

“...”

At the side, Pamela and Selina were smiling teasingly at Lucas.

In the end, Lucas can only sigh while unable to shake off Harley who was clinging to his arm.