I wasn’t sure what I expected, initially. I had an image in my mind of what a convention looked like, but I’d never actually gone to one. 

As far as I was concerned, ‘Phantasy Con’ was just a local thing, not a big name like some of the other stuff you'd typically hear about. Though it was supposedly meant to cover a wide variety of interests, between anime, comics, games, and whatever other stereotypically ‘nerdy’ stuff comes to mind. 

I don’t know if I’d consider myself a ‘nerd.’ I definitely would have in the past, with my more meek presence at school and my introverted hobby of gaming, but a lot had changed. Still, it’s not like I don’t play games at all anymore, and I still catch the occasional anime if one of the girls recommends it. So did I belong here? Hard to tell. 

Whatever the case, it didn’t matter. Since right now, I wasn’t exactly making an appearance as my usual self. With the Lucina cosplay on, I shouldn't be as recognizable. My presence here might as well be just as secretive as most of my past. I didn’t have to worry about what people would think of me if they realized I did ‘X’ or whatever, I was just here, existing.

…And in a way, that felt freeing.

I was taking a break from being Penny for a bit, now I was just Lucina. Or, well, some girl cosplaying her.

Safe to say, I was pretty satisfied with the costume.

It obviously wasn’t perfect, but it had some cool detail to it, and it was fun seeing me with a different hair color when I saw myself in the mirror for the first time. A part of me wished I also had her sword, but that’d probably be too much. Buying a sword for cosplay would be expensive as hell, and I couldn't imagine trying to walk around with it…

It’s funny, it almost reminded me of back when I started transitioning, all that time ago. The euphoria of wearing something feminine, as I slowly evolved my look and style. Trying out makeup and practicing with it for what felt like hours upon hours sometimes. Learning to brush and take better care of my ever growing hair. I remembered feeling so much joy back then as I went through the experience. I'd just be going through my day to day, then I’d catch my reflection somewhere, or note some detail about myself that I’d been working towards, and it would just elicit this spark in me.

I hadn't felt it in a while, naturally since I’ve gotten so used to my excessive femininity at this point. But I suppose it was a similar type of excitement when you get to look like one of your favorite characters. Back then I’d see myself and go, ‘wow look at you! You’re a girl!’ Right now I was finding myself sometimes going ‘wow look at me! I'm Lucina!’ 

I just had to look down and I could see me wearing her outfit, and there were blue locks regularly entering my field of view. Every once in a while as I’m walking I remember how I look and I feel that tiny little spark of joy.

All that is to say, cosplay is actually pretty fun!

I took longer than I should’ve just wandering around, getting a look at the type of people around me. There were all kinds. People also had booths for things like artwork, keychains, pins, merch, and whatever else. I wasn’t sure how interested I’d be in that stuff, but there was still a curiosity to be felt as I roamed around.

“Wow, you look so cool! Can I grab a pic?!” A girl randomly asked me.

The question came out of nowhere, and I was caught off guard. But still, I answered her. “Umm, sure.”

She took out her phone, and I tried to think of a cool pose or something. 

…I quickly realized that’s hard to do without the sword, though. Go figure, most of the swordswoman’s iconic poses involve her holding a sword. Still, I tried for one of them pretending to hold it in the air and that worked out well enough.

“Thanks!” She said, before heading off. 

…Was that normal for these things?

I guess cosplayers inevitably get some attention. Looking around again, most people aren’t wearing anything like that at all. There weren’t too many with a full outfit like me.

…I also noticed that I had several eyes on me. Some from men.

…Right, in a place like this, I should be pretty conscious of that. I’ve spent enough time wandering around here all alone, I should go find Lana.

I opened up my messaging app, locating Lana’s contact and sending her a quick text.

hey im here
where r u?

I received an answer only about a minute later. They were headed to a bathroom off in a specific corner of the convention floor. Smart, she could probably use that as an excuse to have them stuck at the same place long enough for me to find them.

Off I go!

Though it was as I quickly rounded a corner when I bumped into someone.

“Agh, sorry!” I quickly apologized as I tried to walk past them.

“Hey, it’s cool, I just wasn’t looking where I was going.” They replied.

I quickly slipped past, and about a moment later I froze. I'd recognized that voice.

I hesitantly turned back. The person wasn’t looking back at me, he was already talking to someone else, but I saw the side of his familiar face. Jake’s face. Crud, I was already bumping into someone I knew! 

And wait, the person he’s talking to… I almost didn’t recognize her, because of the wig, but was that Nora?

Thinking fast, I decided to just keep walking and-

I crashed straight into another person.

“S-Sorry-!”

“No, it’s alright, I was-”

This time, I recognized their voice even faster. 

And even more unfortunately, I turned up to look at him this time instead of running past.

He blinked, and our eyes momentarily met.

He opened his mouth, but before he could speak I finally made the decision to scramble away and run behind him. I got the feeling his eyes followed me as I did so, but I didn't look back. I was hoping to get out of that awkward encounter ASAP!

I turned another corner before I finally stopped to try and calm myself down.

…It was Adrian. Of course it was Adrian.

It took me another second to realize why he was here, and yet another to realize how much of a stupid idiot I was. His invitation, the one I turned down, was for today. He was inviting me to go with them to the con. And I turned him down because I already promised someone I’d go to the con on that exact day. Oh my god, how did I not think of that? Of course he'd be interested in something like this!

This had to be one of the dumbest developments in my life this past month, and that’s saying something. Literally neither of us bothered to mention what it was that we were gonna be doing? I mean, I had my reasons, but Adrian? Come on, man!

…Though maybe he thought I might find it embarrassing or whatever. He knew how weird I acted about my hobby back at the tournament. 

And here I was, bumping into him anyway. Revealing that I was already here without his prompting.

Did he recognize me? God I hope not, but I got a look at his face for a moment, and he did mine. I had makeup on, but I wasn’t doing it too differently, really. He got to hear my voice too. I figured the hair and outfit would be enough not to be recognized, I wasn't expecting that kind of encounter. Because someone who knew me that well getting a good look like that... 

…Whatever, I need to go find Lana. Shouldn’t be far from here.

 

---

 

Lana hadn’t bothered mentioning what kind of cosplays they were wearing, so it took me a hot minute to look around and spot one of them. 

“Woah, hey, is that you Lexie?” I called out right next to her. I recognized her outfit, it was Princess Zelda from the recent games, with the blue top. She looked cute, it suited her nicely. 

She blinked as she turned to look at me, taking a second to register my face. “Oh my gosh, it’s you! Penny?!”

I nodded, “Yeah! So funny to see you here!”

Step one complete!

“I mean we did get free passes a while back. I’m more surprised to see you here!” She replied. “I thought you said you didn’t even play Smash!”

I momentarily jolted. Right, that did get brought up with her around, didn’t it?

“But oh well!” Lexie continued without so much as skipping a beat. “I guess that’s just my fault for assuming!”

“Yeah!” I replied. “I just thought something like this would be fun, you know? I mean come on, just cuz I don’t play this one game doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be interested!” 

“Yep!” She nodded. “Love your cosplay, by the way. Is that Lucina?”

“It is!” I’m glad she noticed, though it figured since she was in a game that Lexie evidently played a lot. “And you’re Zelda, right?”

“Yeah! Oh, and you should see Dylan, he-! Oh, there he is!” Her eyes perked up, and she quickly ran past me. 

Turning my head to see where she’s going, I do indeed see Lana having just come out of the bathroom. Fittingly, she was wearing Link’s outfit from his recent games, presumably to match Lexie. I don’t think I was particularly expecting Lana to wear something feminine considering her circumstances, but it was a good enough look. I always thought Link’s recent incarnations appeared a bit androgynous anyway, so Lana looked far from masculine. As far as cosplays for an insecure closeted trans girl were concerned, it was a decent pick.

“Hey Dill, you’ll never guess who I just ran into!” Lexie went on.

Lana’s eyes moved upwards, and our eyes met. I made sure to smile and wink, since everything was going just swell so far! “Oh, uhh, hi.” She greeted.

I know people sometimes say that trans people spend their entire life acting before they come out, but I had to wonder how much of that actually helped with, you know, acting. Though in this case it’s not like awkward isn’t already Lana's default, from what little I knew of her.

“Hi yourself!” I greeted her back with a wave. “Cute costumes, by the way! Love the matching!”

“Thank you so much! We wanted to try for something fun, and we’re big fans of the games! Dylan was able to find half of all the koroks in his playthrough! Right?!” She looked back at her excitedly.

“Yeah, I did that.” She responded, sighing. “But I gave up somewhere after 400, so only *almost* half…”

Knowing what I do from that game, that does not surprise me. Getting anywhere over a hundred was impressive enough, I kinda felt bad for Lana for putting herself through four times that…

“Anyway,” I continued. “Mind if I tagged along? I didn’t come with anyone, it’s nice to be around people you know and stuff!”

“Huh? Well…” For once, Lexie paused before speaking, briefly looking over at Lana before answering my question. “Sure! Be our guest!”

Lana nodded confidently, which helped signal that she seemed fine with it. Naturally, since that had been the plan the entire time.

Step two! Complete!

 

---

 

Tagging along with the two friends had felt awkward at first, Lexie appearing a tiny bit wary of me and Lana being her usual quiet self, but I was able to get things on a more casual level soon enough. I tried to comment on things I saw, and probe for anything else we had in common. I knew the two played at least some video games, so it wasn’t too hard. Lexie thought I was new at Smash, but I could still keep a conversation going about some other game, for example.

Though I also felt distracted sometimes myself. After my encounter earlier, I was even more hyper-aware of my surroundings, wondering if Adrian, Jake or Nora were around here somewhere. Adrian especially. I was already anxious around him, and my messy thoughts and feelings that I’d been uncovering for the last week or so certainly weren’t helping. Today was about Lana, I didn't need any of those complications interfering today.

While Lexie was busy looking at some pins, I figured she was a safe enough distance away to have a quick word with her friend.

“Do you know when you’re gonna tell her?” I asked. “Like, got any ideas? Do you feel up for it?”

She grimaced. “I dunno… It’s… hard…”

I put a quick hand on her shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. I get it. I'll try airing things out with her, figure out where her head is at.”

Before we could say any more, Lexie quickly returned to us. “Wow, things are so expensive here. I get so worried about money when I see these prices…”

I nodded, “Tell me about it. My allowance took a big hit just getting the cosplay.”

“Yeah,” Lexie sighed. “I just feel lucky we at least got the passes for free.”

I thought to myself for a moment. Walking around booths had already gotten pretty exhausting, especially if we weren’t going to buy anything, so I wondered… “What other events do they have set up right now?”

“There’s a panel with some voice actors in two hours, but there’s also board games in another hall.” Lana quickly replied. Guess she’d already looked things up and made note of them.

“Ooh, I wanna try board games!” Lexie piped up. “I wonder what they got!”

“Hey yeah, let’s check it out!” I agreed with her. 

Lana already knew the layout pretty well, so she led us pretty soon to the hall in question. There were various tables set up, some empty, some filled with con-goers. There were also some organizers, wearing the same t-shirt to set themselves apart.

I was pretty curious about what games they had. I wasn’t exactly an avid ‘board gamer’, but I definitely played occasionally. There was a period of time where Irene would insist on bringing Risk with her when we were hanging out. When we eventually agreed to play… Oh, the horrors. I still struggle to forget the impact of the Langley maneuver. Irene never learned her lesson, after that she started doing the same thing insisting we eventually play Monopoly. Oh god they were going to hang out today, weren’t they? I don't know if they could be playing it or not right now, but I might have dodged a bullet.

As Lexie tried to look for someone to assist us however, my eyes landed on one group in particular off at a table in the corner. Just from a glance, I recognized those heads. There was no mistaking it. Adrian, Jake, Nora… seemingly one other guy. Were they all playing something together? Apparently so. 

Though I tried not to stare. Didn’t want one of them to suddenly look up and see me watching them like that. I tried to focus on my near surroundings instead.

“How can I assist you?” An organizer eventually stepped up to help us find something to play. Lexie led the charge in picking something, and after just a couple of minutes, we were going over the rules for Ticket to Ride.

It was a simple enough game, when you got down to it. Planning the routes for the train, the map getting trickier as things went on. It was pretty fun, honestly. The type of game that maybe won't erupt into chaos if I played it with the girls.

After a couple of rounds, I figured I could sneak in a little opportunity. “Oh wow, I sure could go for something right now.” I said out loud. “Think one of us should grab some snacks before we continue?” I was pretty sure they were being sold somewhere, and not for any steep price. “We can, like, split it too and stuff.”

I then made sure to look straight at Lana. I tried to subtly wink at her, hoping she remembered what I’d mentioned earlier about wanting to talk to Lexie. 

“R-Right! I’ll go see if I can get something…” She decided to announce, suddenly standing up from the table and heading off.

That left the two of us alone, relaxing as we took a quick break from the game. This was my opportunity. I needed to feel the air from her, learn if anything could help Lana out. Maybe I could drop some sort of comment to see how she feels about trans people, or something… That'd be a good start!

“Sooo…” I began, totally nonchalantly. “You see any other cool people around?”

“...” She didn’t say anything, she was looking off into the distance. That felt unlike her.

“...It’s super cool how people come here to let themselves feel more free.” I continued, trying to be as super casual as possible with my words. “Like you know, I think I saw a trans woman earlier wearing something cute, it’s so-”

“...Do you think Dylan’s acting weird?” She suddenly asked, interrupting me.

“...Huh?”

“Sorry, I mean, it’s not like you know him or anything, just…” Lexie sighed. “I’m kinda worried about him.”

“...I-I see.” I wasn’t expecting this direction. I was surprised in particular by Lexie’s tone here. She always sounded so chipper, while now she spoke more slowly and had this quiet little frown on her face.

“I know he struggles with people sometimes, but he’s felt extra anxious lately.” She described. “Even around me, he’s gotten so... cagey. I miss when we could just talk about everything. I always thought he felt safer around me…”

…So that’s how Lexie felt. I guess I should be thankful it didn’t take much effort, but to think things have actually been on her mind like that. I remembered feeling like that a bit when I was in Lana’s shoes. Once you’re more aware of your dysphoria, the world only feels like it grows more distant. Especially if you have no outlet to talk about these things…

“Maybe… something happened recently.” I tried to suggest. It’s not like I was going to suddenly out Lana, but I wanted to help appease her friend a bit. 

“...Maybe.” She answered, eyes shifting down towards the table. “I… I actually came out of the closet a couple of months ago. I wonder sometimes if that has anything to do with it. What do you think?”

Right, I remember Lana mentioning that when we talked. “What do you mean? Why would it? He’s not a bigot, is he?”

“No, but like…” She sighed. “I’m worried I made things weird. Since, you know… he’s a guy. And we’ve always been close. I just want things to keep being like it's always been, and I’m worried I might have ruined it…”

“...” A part of me wondered if there was some truth to it, that that event had inadvertently sparked Lana’s own questioning and realization in some way. But also… I could see it. Worrying about how who you are could ruin your friendship. From either of the two’s perspectives. Ironically, Lana keeping her secret might be causing its own strain on things. I couldn't help but ask myself if Adrian felt the same, way back when I was in those shoes. He never said anything, but he might have noticed something was wrong. I hope I never made him worry like that...

“Maybe she just needs time.” I suggested. “Erm, he! I mean he! Weird slip, whoops…” I tried to shrug that mistake off. Thankfully, it didn't seem like Lexie made much note of it. "Maybe he's worried about the same things, and... wants to know what's on your mind."

Lexie shrugged. "I guess. I just hope things are still alright. Sorry, I know you prolly don't have any ideas, I just wanted to talk to someone about it. Get another person's thoughts. It's been on my mind a lot lately..."

I nodded in understanding. I suppose I didn't have much good advice to give without directly outing the girl. She just wants to vent to someone about this anyway. 

I couldn't think of anything else to say, so before long, Lana returned with two bags of chips. We resumed the game, and I made sure to try and up the mood. It surprisingly didn't take much, Lexie was quick to reverse her attitude back like nothing had even happened at all. 

The game was actually pretty close, but Lana narrowly beat me in the final round, leaving Lexie in 3rd place.

“Aw man! Not even second?!” She complained.

“One of us was bound to land there, and it’s still 3rd. Think of it like a bronze!” I told her.

We had stood up and were just about to return to the main hall when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

It made me jolt, but not as much as when I turned around and saw Nora’s face staring right back at me.

“Hey, do you-? Oh my gosh, it *is* you!” She gasped.

Uh-oh.

“Oh damn, actually?” Jake said behind her.

I heard Lexie pipe up next to me as well. “Hey, it’s you guys! You’re here too?”

“Yeah, obviously!” Jake responds, “We were always thinking of going. Should’ve figured we’d see you around after the tournament.”

Wait, does this mean…?

As Jake chatted with Lexie, I move my head to the side a bit to get a better look behind the two siblings. Adrian was awkwardly scratching the back of his neck a short distance away. He looked up, and our eyes met.

Shit.

Nora proceeded to grab my attention before I had any chance to react. “So anyway, what about you, Penny? I didn’t think you’d be here! Heck, I almost didn’t recognize you.”

Haha yeah, that was half the idea… “Yeah, same! I already bumped into Lexie and L- Dylan earlier, surprised to see you guys here too!”

Nora nodded, “It’s funny, the way that works! Adrian said you were gonna be busy today.”

Wait, he’d told them he invited me? 

Pushing that thought aside for now, I awkwardly laughed, “Yep, so funny!” Glad to see that the others caught up to speed on that misunderstanding. “But I’m here! Would you look at that?”

“We’re lucky he recognized you, we wouldn’t have noticed otherwise!” She continued.

Ack-! So it probably *was* because of that moment earlier! He must have seen a Lucina cosplayer in the distance and assumed it was the same one he’d bumped into earlier…

“So is it just you three?” I curiously asked.

She shook her head, “No, Lee’s helping pack up the game we were just playing. It’s the four of us right now, but we could totally join up together for a while if you guys are up for it!”

“Sure!” Lexie piped up before I got the chance to comment. “That good with you, Dill?”

Lana hesitated, but nodded. 

Great. Juuust great…