Aiko was finally satisfied by making holes into the doors with her eyes and looked at the Horse. The Horse chuckled and gestured them to open the doors.
It was a glorious and well furnished throne room. There were plenty of carpets and banners all around, it felt like he was transported into medieval era... with Odd Fellows.
There were guards under each pillar, all of them had their eyes closed, but when they noticed an additional presence on top of their Esteemed Buddy, they couldn't help, but take a peek.
They were surprised that Buddy would let someone ride him, but were more surprised what was riding him. It was small furry animal that was curiously looking around. They were confused why would their Prince (Title, not part of the royalty of this town.) let an animal ride him...
"Prince Buddy." A Scaly creature nodded at the Horse.
The Horse named Buddy nodded back. "How are you doing old friend?"
"Very well, very well!" The Scaly creature laughed. "By the way... we have a strange visitor?" He noticed the presence long ago, but didn't understand why they took their sweet time entering the room. Do you know how difficult it is to stay dignified over long periods of time! As such Aiko's first impression wasn't the best.
"Very strange indeed." The Horse neighed happily. "You wouldn't understand even if I told you." He shook his head.
He came closer to him, the guards didn't move.
"Little one, this is my buddy Char. Char this is a very intelligent Fox in Animal Beast Rank." He chuckled when he saw his friend completely speechless.
The little Fox scoffed at him, when he saw how he acted.
'Where did your dignity go?! Give me back the Scaly dragon you bastard!'
He cussed at him.
"... Did... did it just scoffed at me?!" The Scaly dragon was speechless and stared at his friend. "Are you controlling it just to get back at me for eating your cake?!"
The Horse snorted wanting to kick him, but he didn't want to reduce his friends already low dignity. "Of course not, you can test her." The Horse snorted at his friend.
Char stared at the little Fox with comically large ears and was deep in thought. He then gestured to a maid nearby (the one that guided them) to bring over the stuff.
Aiko was puzzled, but didn't dwell on it. It seemed like nobody would hurt her as long as she was on his back. Which was good news. She could also explore this place with her enhanced sight since her stamina had almost completely recovered.
The room didn't have any torches and the windows were quite far away. He didn't understand why there was so much light from some strange gems. Those gems were embedded in walls and ceiling and provided pleasant light that didn't hurt his eyes, unlike lightbulbs... whatever those were.
His ears twitched at slightest sounds, so much that some other attendants would make strange sounds just to attract that little ones attention. They had many cubs around, but they matured too quickly, so they didn't have any outlet for their motherly love. Their young ones would cuddle them only till they were mostly one year old, but then avoided them like plague...
...
The maid brought a nicely ornamented box and behind her were young ones with the same complexion as the Liz- Char on the throne.
"These are my dumb sons." Char gestured staring at the little creature. "You will play a game with them." He snorted at them.
The maid opened the box and symbols flew out of it. He knew these, they were normal numbers! Albeit a bit strangely shaped...
Buddy placed him in front of the cards with number and between the brothers.
He immediately stiffened and didn't move. The maid suppressed her giggle and gently explained the game and the different cards.
As he thought, those were numbers, the order was from 1 to 100. Char would tell them numbers or equations and they had to find the right answer. They would get 1 point for a good answer and -5 points for a bad answer.
'I'm not gonna play this game...' He thought.
He was no longer on Buddy's back and that meant danger from all around. He would play games with his life on the line.
Char said a few numbers and equations, but snorted when he saw the little creature with closed eyes laying there without moving.
'See? It's dumb as any other animal.' Char snorted towards his friend.
'Just wait and see.' Buddy snorted back.
He moved towards his smart daughter that was eating deliciously looking pieces of meat. She was interested in the small little thing, but lost interest soon after she saw it not moving.
The Horse levitated the plate, startling Char's daughter. She stared at him strangely and he winked at them. She blushed, but still observed what he would do.
He blew some air towards Aiko. The delicious smell drifted into her sensitive nose and her eyes snapped open. She immediately jumped into hunting mode, [Dash]ing towards that delicious smell.
Everyone was startled by this, but the maid was quick on her feet catching the salivating little animal.
The horse placed the plate with the meat some ways away and said.
"For each right answer you will get a piece of meat."
*Rumble*
Aiko's stomach rumbled from hunger and her eyes were trained on the meat.
"Meat for equation of 6*9" Char snorted, not believing she would be able to guess it. Oh how wrong he was.
Aiko might be a bit slower than before, but such a basic equation was no problem for her. She immediately dashed on the 54 card and settled there. Startling everyone especially the 2 brothers. Their sister had shining eyes and while she felt some repulsion towards Aiko (Mostly because her meat was stolen from her), she was now curious about how much that little one could do.
Buddy gave her a piece of meat while Char was stunned in place. 'Even... Even dumb Animal is smarter than my children.'
Buddy saw his friends soul leaving his body and laughed. 'What did I tell you.' With a smirk he fed the little creature.
Char boiled from his friends gestures and vowed that next question would be much harder!
As for Aiko...
[EXP gained.]
[EXP gained.]
[Level up!]
[EXP gained.]
[EXP gained.]
[EXP gained.]
[Level up!]
...
She had the time of her life easily increasing her Level.
Char wanted to say the next equation, but was stopped by his daughter. She was enjoying watching the little creature munch with a blissful expression. 'It was normal meat, yet it felt like she was eating treasure...'
Aiko finished the meat within moments and glanced at her Level.
[Level: 5 (1st Evolution)]
'Holy!'
He grinned from ear to ear, waiting for the next card to jump on.
"6+9*9+3" Char said slowly, but when he finished the little creature was already sitting on the 90th card.
His soul left his body again as the creature happily munched on another piece of meat.
...
He was so into the game that he no longer checked his Level, but he had to since a very sharp system notification disturbed him from eating.
[You can Evolve]
[Level: 11 (1st Evolution)]
[If you reach Level 20 you will be able to pick from [Common] Rarity.]
He was stunned.
'So if I reach higher levels I will get better Evolutions?'
[That is correct.]
The system finally responded back after a long time.
'Is anything after that?' He asked curiously.
[Indeed.]
The system replied positively, nicely surprising Aiko.
He licked his lips vowing that he will finish all the meat and get the best Evolution!
...
Char was completely left without a soul. The little creature defeated his sons each and every time. He couldn't bear it, he couldn't believe it. 'It's impossible that my sons are that dumb!'
("Oi you lot! Predict her movement and win! You are bringing me too much shame!") He told them through telepathic communication.
("Yes, father!") They couldn't question their own father, since it was true that they had an awful time with this little fox.
Next game they prepared their senses and when they saw her jump they predicted where she would land and clapped the card with their hands. As such Aiko landed on their hands. Naturally she didn't mind since she was still levelling up. She was already Level 16!
Buddy chuckled. "Little one, if you can manage to beat them in correctness and speed I will give you 2 pieces of meat."
He could see Aiko's head immediately snap on him with wide eyes salivating. She dropped some saliva on their hands and they frowned, but didn't move their hands, since it seemed like Buddy really like her, not to mention their sister. If Aiko got get hurt now... they might not survive their next training session.
Aiko nodded happily, laughing in her mind. 'HEHEHEHE, all your meat is mine!'
She wiped her drool and positioned himself on the starting line. He couldn't beat them in speed, since it seemed like they already knew where he was going. That wouldn't stop him! He purchased [Jump] from the Skill store and waited for the next equation.
Char told them and they immediately trained their eyes on her. They would easily predict her movement and their father would no longer be unhappy...
She used [Jump] jumping high for her small body, surprising everyone. The Brothers already started to calculate her destination with some difficulty, but still were able to slap the card with a smirk.
Char pinched his nose bridge and their sister laughed. They couldn't understand why, when...
Aiko suddenly twisted her body slightly affecting her trajectory. She landed next to their hands on different number than them. She turned at them with smirk.
Their sister laughed so hard she was holding her belly. She didn't believe that her brothers fell for it so easily and that creature in the Animal Beast Rank was able to outsmart someone in Magical Beast Rank.
"Here you go." He placed 2 meat in front of Aiko, but was stopped by her paw.
She had paw in the air gesturing more.
"More? But you already got 2 meat for being faster then them." Buddy narrowed his eyes.
She tried to gesture. 'But I made them fail! Reward me, reward me!'
She was explaining while happily swishing her tail, smugly grinning.
It took her good 20 minutes to finally explain her thoughts, but he succeeded.
"You want me reward you for failing them?" He asked curiously. The brother glared at her, but she ignored it, since Buddy was on her side.
She nodded with glee and Buddy laughed. "Very well! Here are 5 pieces, but no more!" He was entertained by the two brothers looking so miserable. Their sister laughed in glee, liking this little creature more and more.
She ate the food happily and waited for another equation.
...
She lost twice, mostly because those two brothers weren't completely dumb and waited for the last second before claiming their cards. Like that she was getting only one piece of meat.
She begrudgingly ate the meat, while thinking about the shop. She had time while eating and browsed the shop, trying to find anything of value and that she did. Not only she found an interesting skill, it would also help her with her day to day 'problems'. The [Prehensile Tail].
[Prehensile Tail]
[You can move your tail like it's your own hand! Higher Levels will also allow you to use different #### Techniques and some skills through them!]
It cost him whole 5 points! But he had already reached Level 17, he had a whole 20 Skill points to his name! He could spare a few to get more Levels!
He purchased it and tried it few times while eating, feeling ready he gulped the rest down and got in his position.
Char told them the equation and she jumped again. The brothers strained their eyes on her calculating her landing positions and waited to slap the card right before her.
Thanks for the chapters!
Story and ambiance is great and one can already see the incoming fluff atm in the form of cuteness coming through and setups for future stuff being layed now.
Some ideas perhaps for future arks and mechanics:
I noticed that pretty consistently our little female fox refers to themselves as "He". I say keep that for now. MC is transmigrated from a male and i guess in animal form the difference isn't noticable/ that great. Once She gets a humanoid body i expect that to change though and perhaps go through a small identity crisis/ self finding period where she comes to terms with her new gender.
A little request here: Keep her in animal form for quite some time. like talking 5+ full evolutions that get her decently far up in cultivation hopefully (chapter wise it'd be 50-100 chapters perhaps). Also my suggestion would be to have her first "kidnap" attempt (possibly successful) early on (like around chap 25 perhaps) to show what treatment a rare captured animal of the "cute" variety awaits in captivity (like keeping in cages, auctioning off and perhaps a rich lady owner or something before being rescued in the end possibly by the intelligent beasts whose village she is in now.
I love the idea of the "the more levels in a previous evolution the higher the potential of the next." This road of Quality over Quantity is the road to OP levels of power, especially in a cultivation setting, and i highly approve. Would also make it so the rest of the world kinda works that way just without the system and potential speedup and selection functions it might have. Thus animals always have a chance of ranking up into magic beasts and magic beasts always also have the ability of ranking up into higher tier ones. But it requires effort, drive and luck to get there and matching all the conditions thus the majority of evolutions are the mundane "one step higher/ older stage of the current animal" ones and eventually one runs out of lifespan to take the next one. + all those conditions from last evolution like stats make it hard to get special evolutions as its basically blindquessing what you get unless you specialize heavily.
Speaking of evolutions: i would also make them require specific skills or titles in addition or instead of stats.
Example: A speed oriented fox evolution might need the skills Dash, Jump, Stamina Recovery,... and perhaps even a title like [Agile]. Another example would be something branching of the titles [Brave] and [Courageous] though no idea what that would be... Perhaps some protagonist Halo or luck related evolution in combination with perhaps dig and tracking/treasure hunting skills where potentially dangerous situation get triggered which require Bravery, and Courage to navigate upon whose completion rewards await (a kinda forced encounter skill/title/evolution).
I hope MC gets a few titles like [Cute] or [Adorable] or [Plushie] or [Beast Princess] from the intelligent beast which synergize with my above speculated evolution styles to allow a charisma/beauty style evolution option for later. (Mc's motivation to invest in that direction could be her drive to get meat handed to her for level ups thus she plays the cuteness card and sinks points into it to make it more effective).
Kinda back to evolutions i Hope at the "end" of MC's beast evolutions that She doesn't instantly obtain an adult body. Instead give her a kids one starting out and in the process of 3 or so evolutions get to adulthood. Should make the "journey" more eventful, more interesting and a more fluid rise in power to a final-ish form. (maximizes early on fluff power)
Also thank you for adding the Lifespan next to the Age on her Stat sheet. was very confusing when it was just age which was like 0,08 or something like that without unit or nothing. Now with the /10 behind it we know its in years.
Another important advice would be to put the Stat readout of MC or anyone she might use an inspect type skill on in the future in like a collapsable section:
Kinda like this here but Scribblehub has tools for it i believe. seen it in many stories.
Still regarding the stat sheet i hope Titles are not permanent. Like MC's title of Foul mouthed. There should be an event or a gradual process to undoing it (perhaps overwriting it with its opposite should MC get like a propper education and manners tought).
Next advice from a kinda accessability standpoint is getting a Thumbnail for your story (aka an image for it to show up beside the name). It should massively increase your readers if its a good or at least decent one (doesn't even need to have a title or text on it. Usually an image with a good looking female or something connected to the story is enough.
Just do not choose something that is too detailed/ too large aka the motiv should be front and center large). Getting an image shouldn't be too hard of the Internet (if dubious about the ownership just write that you do not own the image and that the owner can contact you to take it down) or just use one of the by now many AI art tools to generate you one.
Possible viable image i found via quick search: https://img.freepik.com/premium-photo/cute-anime-style-fox-girl-with-silver-hair-tails_946657-6341.jpg
Thanks again for the story. Really looking forward to where MC's journey leads next and hope my suggestions helped. @Ezy Thanks for reading this loooong near rant like suggestion list and Cya next time!
Daum, I don't even know where to start, but I will go through this whole novel and try to explain it without too many spoilers. (That's impossible so I will find how to make the dropout section or spoiler warning when I get to it!)
"I noticed that pretty consistently our little female fox refers to themselves as "He". I say keep that for now. MC is transmigrated from a male and i guess in animal form the difference isn't noticable/ that great. Once She gets a humanoid body i expect that to change though and perhaps go through a small identity crisis/ self finding period where she comes to terms with her new gender."
As this was my first genderbender story I wanted to make it simple by alternating those things, but keeping it short for the sake of future plot. So unfortunately there won't be much 'Identity Crisis' regarding gender, but there will be crisis about something else, more on that later.
"A little request here: Keep her in animal form for quite some time. like talking 5+ full evolutions that get her decently far up in cultivation hopefully (chapter wise it'd be 50-100 chapters perhaps)."
I can assure you that we have a long way before she gets her human form.
There will be time where she will already have human form, but it will be incomplete and chew through her stamina like crazy! And only temporarily to explain some parts of the world!
"Also my suggestion would be to have her first "kidnap" attempt (possibly successful) early on (like around chap 25 perhaps) to show what treatment a rare captured animal of the "cute" variety awaits in captivity (like keeping in cages, auctioning off and perhaps a rich lady owner or something before being rescued in the end possibly by the intelligent beasts whose village she is in now. "
This is amazing idea! I already thought about the kidnaping part, but this would be great flavour to spice it up with the 'crisis' part. So I will thank you at that part and Tag your username since the flavour was your idea and I would feel bad if I didn't tag it. :D
"Speaking of evolutions: i would also make them require specific skills or titles in addition or instead of stats. "
That is already planned! Just the next Evolution will require special place and items and after that... hehe lot of shopping and mastering skill for the next one!
"Example: A speed oriented fox evolution might need the skills Dash, Jump, Stamina Recovery,... and perhaps even a title like [Agile]. Another example would be something branching of the titles [Brave] and [Courageous] though no idea what that would be... Perhaps some protagonist Halo or luck related evolution in combination with perhaps dig and tracking/treasure hunting skills where potentially dangerous situation get triggered which require Bravery, and Courage to navigate upon whose completion rewards await (a kinda forced encounter skill/title/evolution)."
While she is the protagonist of this story, she is not 'Heavens chosen' as such there won't be many 'lucky' encounters in the beginning until she gets a lot of Luck Stat, but the other things are constantly in effect even when not spoken about, which is again mistake on my part and I will try to include what triggered what in the future encounter!
"I hope MC gets a few titles like [Cute] or [Adorable] or [Plushie] or [Beast Princess] from the intelligent beast which synergize with my above speculated evolution styles to allow a charisma/beauty style evolution option for later. (Mc's motivation to invest in that direction could be her drive to get meat handed to her for level ups thus she plays the cuteness card and sinks points into it to make it more effective)."
Planned for this, since she will want to exploit her future love interests until they grow on her.
"Kinda back to evolutions i Hope at the "end" of MC's beast evolutions that She doesn't instantly obtain an adult body. Instead give her a kids one starting out and in the process of 3 or so evolutions get to adulthood. Should make the "journey" more eventful, more interesting and a more fluid rise in power to a final-ish form. (maximizes early on fluff power) "
Her Human body is tied to her Animal Cycle, so unless she grows from Cub, she won't be able to obtain proper Adult Body, but even when she reaches her Adult body her Beast Evolution will not end!
"Also thank you for adding the Lifespan next to the Age on her Stat sheet. was very confusing when it was just age which was like 0,08 or something like that without unit or nothing. Now with the /10 behind it we know its in years."
The reason why there wasn't any lifespan at the beginning was because the system wanted her to take her time with familiarizing and levelling up! Unfortunately our little fluffball was a bit quicker when the system was not looking her way and she went from 'Immortal'(Endless life) to short lifespan!(Somewhat, it will get longer each Evolution, but you get the point.
"Another important advice would be to put the Stat readout of MC or anyone she might use an inspect type skill on in the future in like a collapsable section:"
I'm not quite sure what you mean by this, do you mean it in like make Everything under the "Stats:" Hidden and collapsable or does it include skills too? For example she has [Jump] [Bite] [Shit] [Stomp] [Dash]. Should it be like because she uses [Jump] [Bite] a lot it will stay visible while the rest would be
[Shit] [Stomp] [Dash]
? Do you mean it like this?
"Still regarding the stat sheet i hope Titles are not permanent. Like MC's title of Foul mouthed. There should be an event or a gradual process to undoing it (perhaps overwriting it with its opposite should MC get like a propper education and manners tought). "
Titles are not permanent, but hard to get rid of. For example the [Foul Mouthed]. She would need to be complete Angel with her words to bypass it's effect and for it to disappear, but that would also include 'licking others shoes' just to get rid of it (Flattering them all the way to the heaven), but yes education, manerism, training in combat, training in meditation and many more things will shape and change the Titles, just don't expect any rapid or sharp changes!
"Next advice from a kinda accessability standpoint is getting a Thumbnail for your story (aka an image for it to show up beside the name). It should massively increase your readers if its a good or at least decent one (doesn't even need to have a title or text on it. Usually an image with a good looking female or something connected to the story is enough.
Just do not choose something that is too detailed/ too large aka the motiv should be front and center large). Getting an image shouldn't be too hard of the Internet (if dubious about the ownership just write that you do not own the image and that the owner can contact you to take it down) or just use one of the by now many AI art tools to generate you one."
Yes I was worried about the ownership, but since you have taken so much time to write such great tips and points I will take my time to find some nice picture that would describe her well, not sure if she will be in animal in human form, since most arts will probably be Human with fox ears only.
"I love the idea of the "the more levels in a previous evolution the higher the potential of the next." This road of Quality over Quantity is the road to OP levels of power, especially in a cultivation setting, and i highly approve. Would also make it so the rest of the world kinda works that way just without the system and potential speedup and selection functions it might have. Thus animals always have a chance of ranking up into magic beasts and magic beasts always also have the ability of ranking up into higher tier ones. But it requires effort, drive and luck to get there and matching all the conditions thus the majority of evolutions are the mundane "one step higher/ older stage of the current animal" ones and eventually one runs out of lifespan to take the next one. + all those conditions from last evolution like stats make it hard to get special evolutions as its basically blindquessing what you get unless you specialize heavily."
At first I didn't know how to respond to it, it took me few re-reads to understand what you meant by it and if I get it correctly then, yes. Other animals albeit without systems can reach next steps in evolutions and different rarities depending on their place and how well they do,
it will be portrayed in the story thought one of the female interests and Fox Village, where there will be a lot of information and revelations about Evolution processes.
"Thanks again for the story. Really looking forward to where MC's journey leads next and hope my suggestions helped. @Ezy Thanks for reading this loooong near rant like suggestion list and Cya next time! clear.pngclear.pngclear.png"
No, no! Thank YOU! so much for taking your time out of your day to write me such wonderful novel full of tips and other helpful things that I could use or am already using (I have to stockpile quite a few chapters because I'm sickly bastard, but still want to suppport my family somehow
), but I can assure you I will try my best to improve the writing and try to meet your expectations. I might be knew at this and I write only stories that I experienced in my dreams, but I will make sure that they are as fulfilling as I can make them!
So thank you so much for reading my story and I hope you will enjoy future chapters~!
PS: I hope, I have not missed anything since this was one hell of a read
@Ezy Thank you so very much for such a detailed reply and for answering it all.
Now perhaps some more context or replies to your answers:
The gender thing:
I didn't expect you to write too long about it. Just that there should be a moment where MC comes to term with her gender (can even be a cultivation breakthrough. Cultivation has heart demons and often makes a great deal out of mental problems and insecurities which when overcome boost the person or act as brakes or even full on debuffs up to loss of sanity when going out of control. Not saying the probelm is that deep but i suggest it at least be the topic of a chapter or 2 where MC overcomes it/ is helped by others to realize it).
The human form thing:
Really like the idea of that temporary form that consumes stamina or mana or chii or whatever currency you wonna use like crazy. Additional idea: Could be a nice escape method. A beast after all has no hands to use tools with. MC if transformed could use keys to open locks or do other stuff before transforming back. Or MC could use the human form as a distraction if chased. If they chase a fox then they'll overlook a girl in an alley or if they chase a girl they might overlook a fox.
kidnap idea:
Glad you like it. The earlier such a thing happens the easier she is to be freed from it as no "old monsters" or whole sects are involved in the matter and it would be a cool intro to how humans work in this world and their relationship to beasts (i mean we saw a attempt at a war or rather a massacre already but beasts wouldn't need to hide or be so secluded if they were really dominant i feel).
stat + skill based evolution:
thanks for confirming it + that "luck" or protagonist style skill direction was just a suggestion branching off the [Brave] and so on titles as currently its pretty open in what direction MC will go and such a Protagonist halo is a pretty straightforward way to justify events happening^^
Other animals evolution:
yeah sorry i wrote that one so conveluted but you indeed realized what i was going for. Now that i read it again i really sorta missed some arguments there. What i was also trying to say there is that like 95% of beasts remain unintelligent beasts from start to end (some stronger, some smarter etc) as they never or rarely meet evolutionary conditions. the rest perhaps 5% evolve via luck (aka luckily meeting some conditions) or training and determination (via perhaps a tamer or parent beast teaching their kid) to meet or exceed certain conditions. And 1% train so hard or are so damn lucky that they even exceed that and get really rare evolutions. Would be interesting if such paths were recorded or passed down among intelligent beast families and or MC gains some kinda inspect skill which is able to see others evolutionary conditions and she is able to tell them so they can specifically train for it. Would be an invaluable skill and allow MC to strengthen future romantic partners and or build a small army of strong intelligent beasts. If this is something you wonna do do it at a later stage as i expect the inspect skill to need to level up several times before it can see others evolutionary conditions.
Cute direction:
(not saying that there can't be any romance or the like just that it stays cute and fluffy)
I like it both this and that she stays small at least for a long while
Collapsable stat section:
This is what i mean (doesn't need to be this have seen entire graphs and tables implemented in a similar format. Important is that its collapsable. It does disrupt the normal reading flow and some may just scroll past it entirely for many chapters so its a convenience thing):
[
Name: Aiko
Species: [Ordinary Red Fox Cub(Female)] -> [Ordinary Fennec Fox Cub(Female)]
Age: 0.08/10
Beast Rank: Animal
Level: 10 -> 1 (1st Evolution)
Title: [Foul-mouthed], [Agile], [Brave], [Courageous]
Stats:
HP: 29/38 -> 42 -> 16/16
ST: 15/18 -> 20 -> 13/13
Vitality: 2/29 -> 2/32 -> 15/15
Vigour: 9 -> 10 -> 12
Toughness: 19 -> 21 -> 13
Strength: 29 -> 32 -> 15
Agility: 33 -> 36 -> 22
Dexterity: 9 -> 10 -> 11
Mind: 9 -> 10 -> 20
Insight: - -> - -> 10
Beauty: - -> - -> 20
Luck: - -> - -> 11
Stat Points: 8 -> 10 -> 11
Skill Points: 8 -> 10 -> 11
Skills: [Dig: Lv.1], [Bite: Lv.1], [Scratch: Lv.1],
Passive Ability: [Desert adaptation: Lv.1]
Blessings: [Blessing of the Ancestral Nine-Tailed Fox], [Blessing of the Ancestral Phoenix],
Items: [Introduction to the Mortal Realm]
]
title removal:
thanks for saying its possible but i would not go sooo far for removing it. Like you know how in novels or anime Maids are very strict and train noble daughters to act like little princesses aka prim and propperly elegant? If MC were to ever be in that situation where she is educated by a strict maid to be a lady then that foul mouthed title should vanish reeeeall fast^^
Thanks again for reading my looong comment + Thanks for replying in such detail. Its ME who needs to thank YOU cause i consume novels like this faster than a plate of chips/or cookies so thanks for the meal
.
That said speed isn't the problem you are already among the fastest this year neither is your quality so pls take care to not burn yourself out while writing so i can "eat" more in the future. IRL always first.
@ShadowVoid "I didn't expect you to write too long about it. Just that there should be a moment where MC comes to term with her gender (can even be a cultivation breakthrough. Cultivation has heart demons and often makes a great deal out of mental problems and insecurities which when overcome boost the person or act as brakes or even full on debuffs up to loss of sanity when going out of control. Not saying the probelm is that deep but i suggest it at least be the topic of a chapter or 2 where MC overcomes it/ is helped by others to realize it)."
That is a thing and will happen when she starts cultivating her soul.
"Would be interesting if such paths were recorded or passed down among intelligent beast families and or MC gains some kinda inspect skill which is able to see others evolutionary conditions and she is able to tell them so they can specifically train for it."
This will happen once she gets her temporary form, but the Inspect skill is very far off as it depends on her own knowledge to fill up the gaps in that skill. Other than that the system will allow her to see more once she progresses further.
Would be an invaluable skill and allow MC to strengthen future romantic partners and or build a small army of strong intelligent beasts. If this is something you wonna do do it at a later stage as i expect the inspect skill to need to level up several times before it can see others evolutionary conditions.
I always hated the trope where the love interest would be too dependant on the MC. So they will be quite independent and very pampering towards MC, they will be powerful, but not impossible to catch up to. Female interests have their own quirks which will allow them to temporarily suppress the MC, but she will be able to catch to them and then their dynamic will be incredibly cute to write about. As for the army part... Hehehehe, please look forward to it as it will be interesting take on it, one you might not expect
"This is what i mean (doesn't need to be this have seen entire graphs and tables implemented in a similar format. Important is that its collapsable. It does disrupt the normal reading flow and some may just scroll past it entirely for many chapters so its a convenience thing):"
Never knew this was a thing! I'm gonna be honest, I'm sucker for detailed stats and skills and would always take my time to read every little detail feeling joy about it, but you made me understand that not everyone like numbers and detailed skill, some are here for just the story with sprinkle of RPG, I will adjust it in following chapters and return to previous ones to edit them. Please do share your opinion on it later again so I know if I tackled it well or not.
"thanks for saying its possible but i would not go sooo far for removing it. Like you know how in novels or anime Maids are very strict and train noble daughters to act like little princesses aka prim and propperly elegant? If MC were to ever be in that situation where she is educated by a strict maid to be a lady then that foul mouthed title should vanish reeeeall fast^^"
They won't completely vanish, but each one of them have certain tier, you need to reduce that tier for it to become either positive or negative.
For example [Brave] is not the highest title. It will be combined later to become [Unshakable Will] increasing it's benefits greatly. The same applies to [Foul Mouthed] it is not the highest nor the lowest tier of this specific tree, it can always worsen or improve, but never completely dissappear as it simply only changes form and how it affects the user.
"Thanks again for reading my looong comment + Thanks for replying in such detail. Its ME who needs to thank YOU cause i consume novels like this faster than a plate of chips/or cookies so thanks for the meal clear.pngclear.pngclear.png."
I'm happy that I can share my joy with you all, I love my world and stories (Since I actually 'lived' in them for quite some time, but those dreams never finished and that's why I want to complete them and before you ask, yes I have many kind of dreams normal, sinister, horror even smut, but I only write those that don't make me uncomfortable or those that I know I can give proper ending to.)
The Female interest will be those 'teaching maids'(
), so expect lot of cute and pampering moments.
"That said speed isn't the problem you are already among the fastest this year neither is your quality so pls take care to not burn yourself out while writing so i can "eat" more in the future. IRL always first."
You don't have to worry about this, since writing these stories make me more likely to dream about them, I love those worlds and those many different directions that they take me during my dreams and as such I'm kind of like you. I just can't get enough of them.
Thank you for such positive response and look forward to another chapter in an hour and few minutes~.
PS: Oh shoot! I will need to edit it ASAP and implement your ideas about the drop down!
@Ezy
@ShadowVoid
@Ezy Geezus, this comment thread is longer than the chapter...
@ARFitS When someone is kind it might become quite the long read~
