“What is the end?”
Many people question this, ponder it, some even dedicate their lives to it, only to find the answer when they have no life left to dedicate. The answer to “what is the end?” has been deliberated since the concept was originally brought into being. That is, for eternity. For even eternity has to end at some point.
It is quite simple really, the answer. The end is what you make it. Things end all the time, days, fun, love, heartbreak… lives. Surely, everything experiences an end. And this is how I met mine.
It was quiet, my footsteps echoing on the road in the empty darkness of midnight in outer-suburban Sydney. I paused, taking in the cool air and pleasant atmosphere. Truly, I thought, the night really is the best time of day.
I kept walking down the road, towards the petrol station. I didn't have a car, despite the fact that I could drive, it just always made me uncomfortable. Besides, I thought to myself, public transport can take me anywhere these days. I didn’t take the ferry here anyway, due to the fact that I didn't have to walk far, as well as there being so few of them after dark.
I just wanted a soft drink, maybe some snacks. A fitting reward for myself after a hard day’s work of caring for the animals at my family’s shelter.
I loved the animals there, the little possums and birds we often took in never failed to brighten up my day and I had single handedly taken over the management and feeding of all the animals.
I continued my quiet walk with a smile as I recalled some silly thing one of the possums did today. Really, I did love the silence of night. The night was great. When you walk along at times in the outer suburbs, it's like a whole new world.
I approached the servo, the forgiving night giving way to soft yellow light and a neon purple sign on which was written “Open” in a fancy font. I sighed, lamenting the end of my pleasant stroll and my quiet loneliness in the dark.
The clock struck 12 am and today ended, heralding the coming of tomorrow. Simultaneously, I pushed open the glass door that led into the 24 hour petrol station. I was greeted by racks of snacks and the electric blue glow of the drinks freezer, as well as the sleepy “hey” of the boy working at the desk.
He was young, with barely a scrap of mustache blessing his upper lip, as well as a patchy beard. Probably no older than 17. He had brown hair and blue eyes, and looked bored as he glanced up from his phone where I could still hear some commentary about the AFL game that had happened earlier in the night. He was dressed smartly, with jeans and a jacket, on which had a name tag with the name ‘Billy’ written on it.
I nodded back to him, continuing onward toward the snack aisle. Relieved that he didn't try to make conversation, I kept walking.
As I made my way deeper into the store, the newly regained peace was quickly shattered. A red sedan pulled up in the parking lot, music blaring. Tires squealed as the car came to a sudden stop. A group of 4 young boys, probably around the age of Billy, jumped out of the car as their doors slammed shut behind them.
The young boys made their way closer to the station, and as they did so, the boy behind the counter looked up to see who had interrupted his video, eyes quickly widening as he saw the group approaching his store. In a flash, he stood up behind the counter, back straight and fists balled.
I paused briefly as well, taking in the scene, before continuing looking for the right snacks. Everyone in Sydney, no, Australia as a whole knew these boys. Well, not them, per say, but their type. Most of them were completely harmless as long as you didn't react to their taunts.
As the boys came closer I saw that my initial assumption of them seemed to be correct, all 4 of the boys wore daggy tracksuits, and I saw more than one with a bum bag. I could hear their exaggerated accents from my place in the snack aisle as they laughed with each other.
The door banged open as they entered the station, they looked around as well, before the eyes of the driver, the leader of the pack, settled on the boy behind the counter. His eyes lit up.
“Hey mate,” The kid said pleasantly, “mind if we bum some ciggies?” I shook my head behind the aisle, these teens never learnt. It didn't help that I was a teen myself, but I had quickly grown tired of the foolish antics played by my peers, so I made an effort to separate myself from them.
It took a little while for my classmates to understand I wasn’t looking for company, but when they finally did stop trying to include me in their destructive games, only then did I realize what I had inadvertently done.
I had made myself an outcast, and the rest of my days in lower highschool had an undercurrent of bullying incidents and general teasing. This continued for around 2 years, before someone else managed to earn the bullies ire. I found myself only talking to fellow outcasts, and while we never really clicked, there was safety and comfort in numbers. Even now, I couldn’t count any of them as real friends.
My musings however, were interrupted by the murmur of Billy’s reply, and the subsequent raising of the leader’s voice as he asked- no, demanded the boy behind the counter give him and his friends each a free pack of cigarettes.
Concerned by the way the boys were raising their voices, I stayed behind the aisle, the snacks quickly forgotten. I suddenly remembered all the times when I had been accosted similarly throughout school, and to my shame, I did nothing to help Billy.
Things changed however, when raised voices turned to yelling. The boys were laughing boisterously as the leader of the pack reached into his bum bag hanging by his waist, and revealed a flick knife.
“Alright, it's clear you won't listen to me when I politely asked you to give my mates and I some ciggies, so now we’ll just have to take them ourselves,” the leading boy exclaimed, “and then maybe we’ll have to take some more stuff, as compensation for our time, you know?”
Now I was worried a bit, the knife changed things, made me rethink my initial assessment of the teens, I had made a grave error.
What I failed to consider was that these were the dangerous type of hooligan, the type that has already been in trouble for something, and due to the shitty laws regarding teens and crime, had realized that they could get away with far worse than some public disturbance.
Now, boosted with confidence and with the numbers and weapons advantage, the teens pressed their advantage, threatening Billy at the counter. The trembling boy, game analysis quickly forgotten, started to take out a box as the knife hovered in front of him, held by the leading boy.
“Hey Mike,” one of the boys said nervously, “is that Anthony’s car pulling up outside?” he asked.
The leading boy, Mike, turned to look, his face darkening as he took in the arrival of a new car, presumably Anthony. “Shit,” he said, his former bravado quickly ending and replaced by a grim expression. “It is that prick.”
One of the boys surprisingly looked eager as he saw the car outside, and he asked Mike excitedly, “Do you think he’d be carrying the stuff?”
Mike turned, annoyed, and told him to shut up.
The car came closer as it slowed down, and as it entered the light provided by the petrol station, more details quickly became apparent.
It was a ratty car, with dents and paint scraped, it had clearly seen better days. As the car came to a stop, the driver, the only person in the car, stepped out, letting the door behind him close with a bang.
The man who stepped out was a large, heavyset man wearing jeans and a blue shirt. He carried with him a dark backpack, and wore work boots. He had the arms of a builder, or maybe a tradie.
He was clearly older than the teens and Billy, with stubble lining his jaw and a crew cut. His eyes narrowed as he saw the boys in the store.
Mike flinched as the man stormed into the store, his large build towering over the young boys. “Where’s the money?” he thundered, straight to the point.
The boys turned pale and Mike shakily said “W-we don't h-have it yet sir.” Clearly fearful of the man.
I found it interesting how quickly the demeanor of the boys had changed from cocky and leading to meek and subservient. I kept watching them for a while, before realizing that this wasn't some video on Youtube, and that if the formerly dangerous teens were scared of this man, then he must be downright deadly.
I shivered as I sank down to my knees again behind the aisle, suddenly aware of how much the floor was pressing into my legs, and how the shelves were poking into my torso. I wanted to leave, run, anything to get back to the relative safety of a quiet night, alone with my thoughts.
I couldn't, though, the tension in the room was oppressive as the man took in what Mike had just said, teeth gritted, he asked “and why don’t you have it, punk?”
Mike responded, now trembling even worse than the clerk had been, Billy meanwhile, had backed so far into the wall it seemed he was trying to claw through it to the other side.
“W-we’re so sorry sir!” he mumbled, before steeling himself, “they ran off with the money! We tried to stop them, got one of the bastards!” he grinned, surely believing that news of them trying to save their lost money would pacify the giant looming over them.
They were mistaken.
Anthony’s face seemed to grow red as he huffed a breath before looking down on the boys, who suddenly started cringing back. “You useless dumbasses!” The man screamed, spittle flying from his lips, “we gave you such a simple task! Deliver the stuff, and get the cash! And now you don’t have the stuff or the cash!”
He raged on as the teens shrunk back, aware of the danger the deranged man presented. “Look at this!” He turned, hand reaching into his pocket as he brought out something that chilled me to the bone. A gun.
“All you idiots need is some firepower and you’d be alright!” The man yelled. “Threaten them if you have to, show some spine you good-for-nothings!”
Anthony brandished the pistol wildly as everyone in the store cowered, me included. I crouched behind my shelf, thanked fate that I hadn’t been noticed by the teens or Anthony.
As I peeked around the corner, I noticed how the man had his finger on the trigger, and how he didn’t seem to realize that the gun could’ve gone off at any moment.
That moment came of course. Billy fell back, clearly meaning to duck behind the counter and take shelter, same as I. Unfortunately, when he fell to the floor, he knocked over a counter display. I watched the thing fall, and when it hit the ground, it made a loud crashing noise which seemed to startle Anthony.
He flinched, and his finger tightened on the trigger by accident. A loud BANG echoed through the store as everyone inside screamed.
I fell back, confused at first as I couldn't feel my body well, ears ringing terribly from the blast. Pain suddenly lanced through my body, originating in my chest.
I tried to scream as I realized that I had been inadvertently shot by Anthony, who was staring at the gun in his hand in disbelief, however I only choked as a dark fluid burbled from inside my mouth, spilling through my lips and down my chin.
As I laid twisted on the floor, I realized that everything started to grow dim. I tried to reach upwards for the yellow light bulb, desperate to hold onto the light in my world, but my arms failed and fell down, one onto my chest, and the other out beside me.
The ringing in my ears faded and the world started to grow cold. Even the agony I had been in started to numb.
Clarity came back to me slowly, and in horror I managed to comprehend that this was it. I was done. Finished. What had my life been for? All that time alone. It was in my final moments that I understood that I had squandered my life. In the end, I was alone among humanity, my only companions, the animals kept in my family’s shelter, whom I had cared for almost religiously until tonight.
With the last of my quickly fading life, I tried to speak, my final wish if you will. I had to make sure that the only thing I had ever done right was not for waste. With the last of my strength, I opened my mouth. It moved, but no sound came out when I tried to vocalize my thoughts.
Please, I prayed, anybody out there, please take care of the animals in the shelter. I can’t see them die as well.
And with that, I surrendered to the growing darkness in my vision. Sinking into the cold embrace of death as I looked back over how much I had wasted in my life.
My eyes finally closed, and my life ended.
I’m not entirely sure what happened next, I knew that I had been floating in nothing for a long while, but I was still thinking. Still alive. I had always questioned the end, had always feared for what came next, and now that I knew the answer, I couldn’t share it with anybody. Ironic, I know.
I floated around for a while, and slowly realized I was without a body. It was just me, not as a body of course, but as a collection of thoughts and memories. But what makes up a person anyway?
After some time, I realized I could see, as the black world of emptiness I had been confined to slowly ended and in grew an impossible world of fractals and colors.
As I floated through this plane, I slowly came to a stop. A figure stood in front of me, blurry and in the same fractal shapes that made up this fever dream of a realm. I couldn’t make out much, but I distinctly made out the color purple mixed with white.
And as my vision finally cleared, I realized that my definition of the end was wrong. The end wasn’t just a black void. Eternity had to end, but what came next? Even nothing is still something, just not what it was before.
I was flooded with this information, which had been revealed in images and feelings by the impossible being in front of me. And then I understood. There was no true end, only change and a new beginning.
I looked up at the heavenly lady in front of me, with the purple wings of a butterfly spread, and who was reaching towards me with a motherly smile.
The only thing I can help with are typos and it looks like your good on that good job ?
Thanks for the chapter! Looks promising
Thanks for the chapter