I was allowed access to the lower library of the Tower. There were three shared libraries in total, the lower had general studies only but I was fairly ignorant anyway. It was two hundred and seventy three steps down and another two hundred and seventy three steps to return. I was not allowed to remove any books either so if I wished to study I had to do it there. And so, I spent most of my day there. I started with geography as I'd never seen a map in my life, let alone a map of the country or continent. I'd known I lived in the capital of the empire, but I hadn't even known the empire had a name, Palerose. That lead me to heredity and politics. The librarian on duty seemed enchanted with my chaotic interests, and helped me find answers to every question I had.

The Palerose Empire was the oldest and largest political body on the continent, but it wasn't the only one. There had also been civil wars that broke the empire up, then rejoined later in different shapes. Within the empire's borders were also free ports, unaffiliated cities that allowed lucrative commerce outside of the political landscape. Each free port was positioned on either a major river or ocean, as the shortest point between other stable countries. There were, however, no proper pictures of these other cities or countries, simply flags and crests. Those didn't interest me much.

From politics and geography I logically moved onto guilds. Each commercial entity belonged to a guild, frequently in charge of one or more commodities. If you farmed, sold, or warehoused minerals, you were in the mining guild. If you took that raw mineral and forged it into tools, you were in the smithing guild. If you did not belong to the guild, you were not involved in that activity, simple as that.

I found military guilds as well, tied to specific modes of combat. Arbalest guild, sword art guild, Pyrokinesis guild… and then my eyes fell on the pikeman guild and my body quaked. The crest was a pair of crossed pikes dripping blood from the points. What if he wanted to cross spears inside of me? In my mouth one way, through my womb the other. I trembled again and a quiet whimper escaped me as I stared into the open page. It was only the second day, I hadn't even met with him yet today! I couldn't be this desperate, this influenced! How would I make it through the next two weeks?

"What's wrong?" the librarian asked as I made another humiliating sound. The sogginess spreading between my labia couldn't simply be moon blood at this point. No shame, I reminded myself, but as he stared at me, I burned. Shame, so much shame, and lust. My sex clenched with a faint squelch. So much lust.

I glanced up from the book and shook my head, "N-nothing. Just memories that won't leave me alone. I'll get over it." Then I looked down and quickly turned the page. Rangers Guild, a trail of footsteps over a hill crest toward a setting sun. Much easier to look at than crossed pikes. "Um, so, tell me about the Rangers Guild? What do they do?"

"Ah, they are a quite versatile group of pathfinders and border patrol. The first word of an outbreak in the wildlands usually comes through their communication lines. They also regularly suppress banditry and predation along the highways. Some of them spend half a year or more away from civilization as they cross the continent."

"Alone?" I asked, wide eyed. I tried to imagine every night being like last night, mind silent. The thought made me feel some how both afraid and eager. Asleep under the stars in a world prowled by beasts, vulnerable, alone, dependent only upon my own strength and will.

"Eh? No, usually in platoons of twenty to thirty rangers. It would be suicide to wander alone in the wildlands. Maybe the Grand Magi could handle it, for a few weeks anyway, but we mortals would be killed the first night."

"Oh," I lamented. Though twenty people wasn't near as terrible as the four or five hundred living within the temple. "That sounds rather nice. Like a large family."

"I suppose, though a bit rough and tumble for me! I prefer books. Worst danger is a paper cut or cramped calf from stair climbing." He glanced aside at a wall clock, then closed his book and stood, "It's getting late, dinner bell should ring any time now and I need to use the latrine. You should go wash yourself and head on up. I know just how difficult it is to climb the stairs the first… oh… two or three hundred times." He broke into a wide grin, then began to literally jog from the library and up the two hundred and seventy three steps. I was just thankful that the dining room was in the center of the ring of guest rooms. If I had to stumble down two hundred steps to eat breakfast I'd have simply chosen to starve.

Some hours later after dinner I waited nervously in my room. I couldn't focus on any reasonable thoughts, only the delicious nightmare Brother Fostas had gifted me. I was both eager for and terrified of the pending appointment. He would touch me, there was no way he couldn't. When he touched me the nightmare would be renewed and reinforced both within my mind, and his. There would come a time when even he couldn't control himself. I was already well beyond that point and bordering on throwing myself at his feet and begging.

The door opened and I jumped straight up off the stool and stumbled. I caught myself on the writing desk, barely, it wobbled unsteadily. Before me the Grand Magi stood, his bushy eyebrows cocked in question. I just shook my head and blushed. The door latched behind him and he approached, "Good evening child. I trust you had an enjoyable day?"

He was close enough that I could smell the perfumed oils on him, much milder than Brother Mathias' choice of scent. Below it was the musty scent of paper and ink, as well as the warm odor of a man. The scent so familiar and, after a fashion, comforting. Mother loved the smell of a man, one of the few pleasures in her holy prostitution. I suddenly imagined myself under his robe, my face buried in his crotch, nose in his pubic hair, and penis lodged between my tonsils. Just like mother. How clean would he smell? Had he bathed recently? Would he be sweaty, oily, or stained with remnants of past lusts? Did he have a woman here he used daily?

Involuntarily I swallowed, then licked my lips and tried to reply, "Oh, uhm, yes. I spent most of it in the lower library. I feel like an ignorant savage fresh from the steppe."

He twisted his mouth into a half smile, then shook his head, "Can you read?"

"Yes, of course!" I scoffed, faintly offended at the accusation.

"Then you are a far sight less ignorant than a steppeman!" He shook his head again, "What was that just now anyway? You had the strangest expression and I couldn't help but catch a few stray fragments of thought."

"Uncle Mathias was going to teach me how to isolate, but… He got distracted." I paused, then corrected, "I got distracted and shut him out."

I avoided answering his direct question, but he persisted, "Mmmn, indeed. You'll learn in time I'm sure. Now answer my question?"

His insistence made me uncomfortable and a flush spread from my neck up. "I-I don't want to."

"Why not?"

I tried to find an excuse, a reason, anything but the truth. But, he was going to be in my head again, there would be no privacy. My mouth opened and closed a few times as I worked up the courage, and failed. "Because I am an innocent maiden who could never voice such indecent thoughts aloud."