Chapter 115: Childhood trauma
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"No, Luna, we cannot let anyone know about your new magic."

"But miss Liliam, it really works! I can heal with my dark magic!"

"That's not the problem, dark magic is dangerous, you should not be using it so casually! And that magic you are using is illegal. If the mage association finds out about what you've been doing, you are going to get in trouble, and the orphanage might get in trouble as well."

"B-but it's only forbidden because everyone thinks that flesh shaping can only be used to hurt people, and I can show them that they are wrong!"

"If you try to show them you'll just scare them more... Can't you wait until you are 11 years old? You'll be able to become an apprentice mage then."

"Fine... I'll try to become a proper healer before then."

"A proper healer?"

"Don't you know? Real healers can do stuff like regrow their own limbs or even reattach their own heads if they are cut off!"

"Those novels you read exaggerate things a lot, reattaching one's own head is impossible... Anyway, forget about your magic for now, there's one other thing I need to ask you."

Uh... She's making that face she makes when she's going to scold me.

"I didn't do anything weird!"

"You always do something weird. But this time I wanted to ask you if you are the one who's been scaring the other children at night."

"I scare them all the time, but it's not my fault..."

"No, I'm not talking about the usual stuff. They told me that the ghost of a little girl has been appearing at night and chasing after them."

So whenever an unknown scary girl shows up I immediately become a suspect?

To be fair, that does make a bit of sense.

"That wasn't me! I'm not a ghost! I'm alive!"

"Don't you often leave the orphanage at night to practice magic?"

Agh! She knows?!

"I-I don't know what you are talking about."

"Well, I guess you are not the type to do that kind of prank. Just tell me if you find out who she is."

"Uh... yeah."

...

I go back to my room thinking about was miss Liliam said. Why does dark magic have to be more dangerous than the rest? If I had any other element I'm sure that she would be happy about me learning magic, or rather, my parents would not have left me here in the first place...

<If my dark magic is going to be hated anyway, I should stop trying to use it to help people.>

No! I should not give up so easily! Healing with flesh-shaping is so easy that a little girl with no formal training was able to figure it out. It's clear that the only reason nobody else uses it is that people just assumed that it was not possible and didn't seriously try, so they made it illegal since they didn't think that there was any use for it. So when everyone sees my healing it will not be forbidden anymore!

And so, tonight I'll go outside to practice magic like usual.

Uh? Everyone should be sleeping at this time, but there's someone in the hallway.

Ah, that's a girl my age named Lanette. Those soft and long rabbit ears of hers are very popular, miss Liliam even had to threaten to punish anyone who touched them just so the other kids would leave her alone.

Why is it that one village can be destroyed in a flood while another suffers a drought? My ears are long too! But nobody ever wants to touch them... Is it because mine are sharp? Maybe they are worried about cutting their fingers.

She seems to be going to the bathroom, but there's someone else following her from behind, another girl. It looks like she had an accident in the kitchen, her clothes are tattered and she's covered in tomato sauce.

I decide to follow her to see if she needs help, but she might not want to be seen like that so I don't say anything. The distance between the three of us shortens and Lanette seems to notice that someone is following her.

"W-who is there?" She sounds really scared. Maybe she thinks that it's the ghost miss Liliam mentioned earlier.

"I... am... behind... you." The other girl talks with a creepy voice and Lanette turns around slowly.

"EEEEEK!!!"

"And I am behind YOU."

"GYAAA!!!"

Both of them fell on their butts, they look scared.

Now that I see her face I recognize this girl. Her name is Janna, she joined the orphanage just one month ago. I borrowed some books from her, they were all scary stories so I didn't really like them, but books are books.

She's wearing some weird makeup that makes her eyes seem hollow and her mouth like it's been torn open, I don't know much about fashion, so I should not be talking, but it looks ugly.

"Um, sorry, I didn't want to scare you."

It looks like they don't want to talk to me, so I'll just leave them alone...

After that, I finished tonight's practice and returned to my room. I didn't see the ghost girl, I wonder what that was about.


 

"I didn't know that a book could be so scary..."

I was reading one of the books I borrowed from Janna, 'the night of the flesh-taking clowns', I knew that clowns were dangerous! That one time a clown came to the orphanage, the other children seemed to like him a lot, but that's because they are not as observant as I am. When I took a close look at his face, I realized that his big smile was fake! It was really just painted on his face! That's how I knew that he was up to no good.

"Hey! How long are you going to ignore me?!"

"Janna?! When did you enter my room?"

"I've been standing here trying to call you for five minutes."

"Oh, sorry, I get distracted often when I'm reading. Did you want something?"

"I want you to tell me how you can be so scary."

"Can you ask me anything else? Please?"

"I worked so hard on that ghost makeup, but there's only so much I can do with only tomato sauce and some coal. But you must have real make-up! How else could you make your face look so scary?!"

"I haven't done anything to my face! I just look like this..."

"And how is your acting so good? You're always terrorizing all the children here and you make it look like you're not even trying!"

"That's because I'm not trying."

"Please! Can you at least give me a hint? What is something you think would be really scary?"

This girl is weird, why does she like scary things?

"I guess... Clowns are very scary."

"Clowns? Ah! I see."

She noticed the book I was reading. Maybe it's only because it's the most recent one, but this is really the one that scared me the most.

"I love that book, especially the part when a clown puts a whoopee cushion that's really a bomb on that guy's chair, but before he can sit down another clown juggles some knives into his back."

"Y-you like that?"

"Yes, I think I can do that. Thank you!"

"You are welcome?"

She left as soon as she came, I wonder what that was about.


 

Ugh... I had a nightmare tonight. I shouldn't have been finishing that book before going to sleep.

I need to return it to Janna, but I'm scared. I keep feeling like one of those clowns is going to jump out from any corner and tear my skin to make animal balloons.

"Janna, I wanted to return this book."

"Ah, it's you. Look! What do you think?"

"EEEH?!"

It can't be. The red nose, pale face, and green hair. And those sharp teeth... It's the clown from the book!

"Hehehe, it was difficult to make the teeth, but it ended up looking good. I'll have to go and find Lanette."

Wait, this clown is a bit short... And it looks just like Janna.

Oh no! The clown has eaten Janna and stolen her flesh!

"NOOO!!!"

"Uh? W-wait, where are you going?!"

I run for my life as fast as I can. I need to find a place to hide!

No, wait, that clown said that it was going to go after Lanette next! I need to warn her!

...

"I can't find her."

I keep running and running all around the orphanage but I cannot find her anywhere. Don't tell me that I'm already too late.

"Miss Liliam! I need to find Lanette! Where is she?!"

"Lanette? I believe that she's not here today."

"What?! Did she get caught?!"

I'm sorry Lanette, I couldn't save you...

"Someone from the farmer association took her to see the wheat fields outside the city."

"No! That's not it! It was the clown!"

"What?"

"That evil clown that I saw must have eaten Lanette!"

"Luna... I've told you many times that it is not good to skip sleep."

She doesn't believe me... I need to do something before there are more victims.

In the dining room, I see the clown using Janna's skin approach a group of kids from behind.

"CLOWN!!! BEHIND!!! RUN!!!"

"AAAH!!!"

I run at them while yelling at waving my arms. They turn around and start running... toward the clown.

Could it be that they cannot see it? Those clowns from the book could only be seen by their targets after all...

I need to tell miss Liliam, she might be able to help.

"Miss Liliam! The clown is right there!"

"That's just Janna. I've already told her to stop scaring the other kids."

What? Does she see the clown as Janna? Is it because it is using her skin?

I feel so helpless and afraid, all I can do is hide behind miss Liliam until the clown goes away.


 

The next few days I didn't see the clown again, but I kept getting the feeling that it's been watching me. Every time I turn around, I catch a glimpse of a shadow vanishing in an instant... I think.

This is so stressful. Living in constant fear knowing that death is right behind me, barely being able to sleep, and nobody believes me when I tell them that there's a killer on the loose. I cannot keep going like this!

Maybe miss Liliam is right and this is all in my head, she said that Lanette will come back tomorrow, I will know for sure then.

And then, I saw another clown right in front of me.

This one does not look like Janna, did some other kid get caught? I need to run away.

However, the clown is once again in front of me, cutting off my path.

"What?!"

How is this possible? I didn't know that clowns could teleport!

I try to escape to the left hallway, but when I do, I find three more clowns coming from there. So there are more than one?

"T-they are multiplying! Someone help me!!!"

I need to find miss Liliam! She might be able to fight the clowns!

Wait a minute, now that I think about it, I haven't seen the other children anywhere. C-could it be... No, I don't even want to think about it.

I cannot give up, I have to keep running.

I finally find her, just outside the orphanage.

"Miss Liliam! There are! There's..."

And then, I feel my blood freeze.

There are clowns all over the street, they all turn around to look at me, and the ones inside the orphanage are also coming.

There's nowhere to run to, there are too many of them, this is the end.

"Ah, Luna. The other children ended up liking Janna's clown costume, so they asked if we could make- EH?! LUNA?!"

My body finally gives up and I feel myself falling on my back as I lose consciousness.

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