To say that the elevator ride up to the one-hundredth floor of the tower was awkward would be the understatement of the century. Since I disappeared from his home turf, Director Tsephanyah didn't want to let me out of his sight for even a moment, so he was sticking to my side like a second shadow. The irritating lady followed after us like it was natural, and since he didn't want to be left behind, Director Mensah also squeezed himself into the cabin. Needless to say, the atmosphere of antipathy the three Celestial bigwigs created, locked in close proximity, was rather chilling, and I wasn't a fan of being stuck in the middle of them, and neither were the half-dozen bodyguards squeezed into the elevator with us.

There wasn't much I could do about it at this point, so while the elevator slowly climbed the floors, I let my mind wander for a bit.

From what I could glean from the conversations around me, the island had way more towers than I originally imagined, with them placed in clusters around the main towers. I supposed that the latter were the ones that housed the Mana Wells, and they also served as the seats of the various departments of the Celestial government.

This one was, obviously, Tsephanya's base of operations, and by the sporadic mention of 'meetings' and 'conference room', I imagined it was something of a bureaucratic center. It wasn't that surprising, considering he was the Director of Internal Affairs and all, but it sure was convenient that the main meeting place of the Celestial leadership just happened to be the same place where I was not-kidnapped, and it just happened to have the Second True Archon's lodgings prepared in advance.

I kid, of course. There was a very good reason why everything seemed to center around this place, namely that Jaakobah gave his report and then was housed here, but a small corner of my mind couldn't help but question it all the same. Was this whole situation set up just so that I would remain in the vicinity of this particular tower, and if so, why? Was it due to the meddling of the Narrative? Was it because the rest of the Elysium was underdeveloped because it was never supposed to be seen, kind of like how everything was happening on Timaeus while the rest of Critias remained mostly unseen?

"Please, come this way, O Archon!"

I was jolted out of my pondering by Director Mensah, and he urged me to follow after him, much to Tsephanyah's visible chagrin. Director Savir, on the other hand, remained stoic and had her eyes glued onto me, watching my every word and gesture.

Pointedly ignoring her, I followed after the man with the glasses, and it led to a bit of a scuffle between the three directors about who should lead and who should follow and whatnot. I ignored all of that too, and after a bit of Far Glancing, I headed down the wide hallway on my left. It was just like the rest of the building; plain, simple, without windows, and the only color was provided by a few hanging banners and potted plants.

In the end, Tsephanyah apparently won the privilege to walk beside me and he continued to guide our group.

"The rest of the members of the Directorate should already be present, O Archon. Let us not make them wait."

Absently nodding, I followed his directions, and before long, we entered a lobby with multiple padded benches and a large double-winged door in the back. As usual, everything was plain and mostly white and light blue, except for the purple carpet leading to the equally purple door. I wondered; were those in that color to match Tsephanyah's toga, or was there a pre-established color code all of them followed?

That chicken-or-the-egg type question only had a lease on my attention for a short while, as once we got closer, the door opened, revealing a familiar face on the other side.

"Welcome. Everyone's been waiting for you," Jaakobah, dressed in a fancy dark-grey dress uniform, stepped aside and gestured for us to get it. By the looks of it, he successfully solidified his newly invented position, despite my disappearing from the room he was guarding, as even though he received a couple of barbed looks from the directors, nobody called him out.

The other side of the threshold was rather dark, and as I stepped inside and saw the people sitting around a huge circular table, with faces hidden by cowls as well as strategically placed lights on the ceiling, it finally clicked with me. This was the place where I saw Jaakobah getting interrogated about what he found on Critias, wasn't it? So… did that mean that the whole 'shadowy cabal' thing wasn't just a random tropey flourish of the Simulacrum, but the standard operating procedure of the Celestial Directorate?

As if to answer my question, a tall woman by the door began handing out softly glowing pointy black hoods to everyone present, probably enchanted to further the whole 'face hidden in shadows' effect. When it came to my turn, I naturally raised a palm and shook my head.

"No. Just, no." While the poor placeholder was locked up in a loop due to my response, I turned to the stoic agent at my side. "Jaakobah? Turn on the lights."

"Erm… Archon Polemos, sir? This is the Chamber of Shadows," Tsephanyah spoke up in a hurry.

"So?"

"The room must always remain in darkness and everyone sitting at the table must wear the Cowl of Obscurity. It's tradition."

I leveled a deadpan stare at the blonde man, but he remained steadfast in his objection. Either that, or he couldn't see my face because it was so dark. One or the other. In the end, I inhaled deeply, and let it out as an annoyed sigh.

"That is one of the dumbest traditions I've heard of in my entire life, and shame on you for allowing such absurdly unproductive ritualistic idiocy to get institutionalized. Weren't you supposed to be a reformer or something?" He didn't answer right away, so I turned to the bespectacled man smirking with undisguised schadenfreude standing next to us, still wearing the pointy cowl. "And you! Stop grinning and take that eyesore off your head! And Jaakobah? I'm still not seeing the lights turning on."

"My apologies, but I was informed that the main lights can only be powered in case of emergency. Changing the rule would require a supermajority vote from all directors currently present."

"Should we put the motion to vote?" Mensah proposed while conspicuously trying to hide his hood behind his back, and it prompted a derisive snort for director Savir.

"The very first motion by the alleged second coming of Polemos is for turning the lights on. I would laugh if it wasn't such bad comedy."

"We could leave the door open," Jakobaah proposed. "It's not the most elegant solution, but it would let in enough light to—"

"Oh, shut up, all of you!" Unable to take any more, I let out a lung-rattling groan and exclaimed, "If you can't even get something like this done, I'll do it myself."

 I wasn't kidding and started working right away. Glancing up, I could three rows of flat, oval light sources embedded into the ceiling, surrounded by the soft, ethereal glow of magic. They looked just like the ones I'd seen in multiple rooms while exploring this tower during my first visit, so I was decently familiar with them.

While the chamber was spacious, the ceiling wasn't particularly high, and after my recent experience with other-me and the two stars and all that nonsense, I not only had more intangible extra appendages, two of them, in particular, had grown quite a bit in the process. I had a hard time telling which ones, but my gut told me they were the 'original' phantom limbs I had. It didn't matter though; the important bit was that, thanks to this growth spur, I could reach the closest magical light fixture without having to move an inch.

The next step was obvious. By plunging a phantom limb into one, I quickly analyzed the structure of the enchantment arrays controlling it, and once I found the command channel, I could trace it back to the magical equivalent of a light switch in the system. As expected, it was designed to be operated through Celestial harmonic magic, which led to step three. Or was it step four?

Anyhow, it was covering my tracks, so after I made sure I was poised to metaphorically flip the metaphorical switch, I inhaled and let out a single, sharp whistle, starling everyone around me. However, that was nothing compared to when I simultaneously turned the lights on with my phantom limb, their cool, fluorescent glow revealing a bunch of dumb-founded faces all around me. Even the female director, with all of her pomp and regal bearing, looked rather stumped for a second or five.

"There. Was it really that hard?" I grumbled as glanced at the three head directors and Jaakobah in turn, and then dramatically swept my gaze across the rest of the people in the room. There were about twenty people sitting at the round table, without about thirty-to-thirty-five more loitering behind them. None of them were wearing togas or laurel crowns (apparently, that was reserved for the really important people), opting for a mixture of the futuristic business suits I'd already seen, plus a few dresses and military uniforms here and there. All in all, they all seemed to be at least side-character material, and would've looked rather imposing if not for the… well… "For pity's sake, take those thrice-damned cowls off already!"

After a short beat, they sheepishly removed their headwear one by one, and the hairstyles they sported once again confirmed my first impression that they didn't have any particularly outstanding main-character material among them. At most, the only person who caught my interest was a tall, muscular man with a blonde head and a full circle beard, wearing a military dress uniform with a bronze breastplate and a cape on top, and for some reason, I couldn't shake off the feeling that I'd already seen him somewhere.

Before I could figure out where, Directly Savir let out a forceful harrumph.

"This meeting is already breaking tradition, but maybe I shouldn't have expected any better. We might as well get started, I suppose."

She handed her neatly folded cowl back to the placeholder it came from and walked around the table to her reserved seat. The other directors did the same, and after Jaakobah led me to an especially ornate chair, practically a small throne, with some conspicuous extra space left empty on both sides. He waited for me to sit down, after which he excused himself and retreated out of the chamber, leaving me alone with the gaggle of Celestial bigwigs and their scrutinizing gazes. If this happened just a month or two ago, I would've been probably at least a little bit on edge, but after sitting in on a couple of Draconic Federation meetings, this kind of pressure wasn't anything special.

Then, silence. A long, awkward, deafening silence.

Getting impatient, I glanced at Tsephanyah to do something already, and to his credit, it didn't take him long to get the message and loudly clear his throat to get everyone's attention.

"Everyone, I welcome your presence on this joyous occasion."

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Acacius," the frosty female director cut in with a decidedly acerbic tone. "Whether this is a 'joyous' occasion is yet to be determined."

The blonde Celestial sent a rather unflattering glance at his colleague.

"I thought we discussed this already, Director Savir. The young man in front of you is Second Archon Polemos himself. I guarantee it."

"You guarantee it," she emphasized, her face locked in a displeased frown.

"Along with Director Anarr, Vice-Director Tira, Director Seachlainn, as well as—"

"All of them your people, I presume," she cut in, but before she could add anything more, Mensah raised his voice in defence.

"I, for one, am also convinced that he's Archon Polemos."

"And what do you base this declaration upon, if I may ask?"

"His wisdom, his bearing, and his wielding of the Spear of Destiny," the bespectacled director declared with full confidence.

"It's currently serving as the Archon's sword," Tsephanyah pointed out before anyone could object, and the obstinate woman softly clicked her tongue and shook her head in response.

"Once again, a claim that has yet to be verified. While it is known to me that the Second True Archon's weapon was capable of such a change in appearance, you have yet to show definitive proof that any of this is—"

"Do you people enjoy wasting time?"

My unexpected question made all three of the chief directors pause and turn gazes of various levels of shock at me, yet nobody uttered a word.

"I'll take that as a yes," I grumbled and placed the short sword onto the table. "Teeny. Spear mode."

Without further ado, the weapon in front of me elongated, drawing a couple of impressed gasps out of the peanut gallery.

"Now that I have your attention, let's start with the introductions. There's no need to announce myself, and I already know you three, so let's go clockwise."

For emphasis, I lazily waved a hand at the man on my left, and he froze up like a deer in the headlight. Was he a placeholder after all?

That didn't last long though, and after gathering his wits, the man loudly declared, "I-I greet you, O, Second True Archon! I'm Director Jeb Jebediah, the Director of Celestial Resources and Development, and she's my Vice-Director…"

I listened to the Celestial ruling elite politely presenting themselves one by one, but to be honest, I was sure I wouldn't remember a fifth of them by the time we made a full circle around the table. In fact, there were only two names I paid special attention to.

"… Ammon Jonaraja, the Chief Director of Clandestine Operations. Unfortunately, neither my Vice-Director nor my Deputy Director are in Elysium. Please accept my sincerest apologies."

I had no idea why the bald, bespectacled man would need or want to apologize for that, but I didn't really care enough to ask. More important was the fact that this was the first time I'd ever met my boss. As in, Admin's boss, but let's not split hairs over it. For someone managing the majority of the Celestial intelligence network, he was a rather unassuming man.

On the other hand…

"… Director of Military Operations, and he's my deputy, Kane Khurshid, Primus of the Seraphic Safeguard."

Ah, so that's why that man looked so familiar! He was Michael's father. In retrospect, I should've realized it sooner; aside from the general atmosphere the two exuded, the family resemblance was uncanny.

On a completely separate note, I had a hard time putting a finger on the terminology conventions of the Celestials. 'Primus' was Latin, so it probably referred to some ancient Roman rank, like 'optio' did, but 'archon' was an ancient Greek office, which gelled with the aesthetics of their military, and the less said about their naming scheme, the better. Was it just hodge-podge world-building, something that the Simulacrum was already guilty of, or was there some method in this madness I just couldn't see because I wasn't mad enough yet?

While I was thinking about that, we made a full circle, and everyone got introduced. It turned out I overestimated my own attention span, as beyond the three faction leaders and Mike's father, I couldn't recall a single name that was just said. Not even by 'boss' was an exception. His name had something to do with ammonia or something…

Rather than getting bogged down in that, I picked up Teeny, made it return to sword-sized, and then put it away, taking my sweet time with every single step.

"Now, you talk," I said at last, pointing at director Mensah, and the guy was genuinely taken aback.

"A-About what, O Archon?"

I pretended to stifle a groan and closed my eyes, murmured something about dark times, and then after a long beat, I looked him in the eye and prompted him again.

"For a start, tell me why you went so far as to try to abduct me just to bring me here."

"I… I already explained that was a misunderstanding!" the bespectacled man retorted in near-panic as he suddenly found himself in the crossfire of every gaze in the room. "It was due to the presence of Bel of the Abyss on Critias! After collecting and analyzing all available data, we came to the conclusion that he manipulated everyone on the island for his own ends, and we deemed that it was necessary to extract you before either a conflict would the Magi would break out, or worse, Bel of the Abyss himself would discover your true self! We could not risk you falling into the hands of the enemy!"

"Should we inform the Archon about Bel of the Abyss?" one of the less-important directors proposed. Her name was Babel, or Babylon, or… something starting with the letter B.

Before anyone could launch into an infodump, I leveled a gaze at the woman and said, "You are aware that almost all the information you have on Bel came from me, right?"

"O-Oh… That's right. Please forgive my—"

"From you? What a curious thing to say," Director Savir cut in with a carefully maintained air of skepticism on her face.

"The Archon still possesses the memories he had before he was awakened by the Spear of Destiny," Tsephanyah came to the rescue, but it didn't ease the stern woman's expression one iota.

"How convenient that he would retain all those memories."

"If I didn't, we wouldn't be able to communicate," I pointed out. "Unless you want to tell me you can speak Old Celestial."

We locked eyes for a moment, and for once, she was the one who gave up first.

"It was but a simple observation," she noted, her tone saying she didn't consider this a loss at all. "I still find it a smidgen too convenient, but your explanation does make sense."

"Eris! Pay proper respect to the Archon!"

She completely ignored Mensah's outburst and instead gestured to one of the vice directors idling around her. I was curious about what she was up to, but then my attention was drawn back to the discussion by Tsephanyah raising his voice.

"Since we are all gathered here, and have the Archon among us…" He paused here, looking for Savir's reaction, but when she didn't respond, he quickly moved on. "I believe it's time to discuss Bel of the Abyss. While my access to up-to-date information about the outside world is less readily available than some of my respected fellow directors, I've spent a considerable time browsing through our oldest records, and I have discovered a chilling truth. The man known as Bel of the Abyss might be none other than… Bel of the Tenebrous flames himself!"

The way he suddenly lifted his head during the second half of his last sentence made me think that, if we were still in the dark and wearing hoods, it was supposed to add some dramatic flair. In the brightly lit room, it was considerably less interesting, but I was considerate enough to add some 'dun-dun-dunnn' music to his performance, if only in my head.

"Do you mean… the Emperor of the Abyss?" a sub-vice-director of sewage treatment or something exclaimed in horror, and another one followed him up with an astonished, "The sworn enemy of Deus?"

"Our Archon doesn't seem to be surprised," Director Savir commented with unfailing vitriol, barely even bothering to look up from whatever she was writing at the moment. With an actual feather quill, if I may add.

"It certainly wouldn't surprise me, but I wouldn't jump to conclusions either. He could just as easily be using the name to send a message."

"To us?"

I turned to the random deputy director of something-or-the-other and blandly uttered, "Or the Abyss."

"You have met with this Bel of the Abyss face to face, haven't you?" a new voice inquired, from the seat next to Director Savir's spot, and considering how she was still busy writing something, I imagined he was speaking in her stead. "Could you know recognize your sworn enemy?"

While I was pondering how to answer as standoffishly as possible, Tsephanyah rose to my rescue with an indignant scoff.

"Watch your tone, Teraphon, and remember that this Bel of the Abyss was not only wearing a mask during every single of his appearances, but if he really is the reincarnation of Bel of the Tenebrous Flames, he must have also used the Secret Rites of Rebirth, and must be in possession of a new body, just as Archon Polemos."

It took some effort not to blink in surprise, but when that seemed to be the end of the rebuke, and no more details were coming through, I had to quickly take things into my own hands, before the discussion would move on.

"It seems some of the people present here are unaware of the details of the Secret Rites of Rebirth," I uttered with just a sprinkle of thinly veiled disdain and waved at Tsephanyah to continue. "Explain in detail."

"Ah… Yes, Archon," the blonde man nodded, and it took him a couple of seconds to collect his thoughts. "It was something that Bel of the Tenebrous flames developed, and it was taken from him by Deus. The user would be reborn in a new body, but the Abyssal betrayed Deus, and twisted the rite, so that no one would know the year and day when He would return to us. The Second True Archon also used the same method to transcend time and stand before us, and now that he returned, Deus's second coming must not be far behind!"

"That's right!" another man whose name I couldn't quite recall doubled down with a zealous grimace. "It's just as the prophecy foretold!"

"Prophecy?" I echoed him and rubbed my chin. "How trustworthy is this prophecy we're talking about?"

"It… it was given by you, O Archon," Director Mensah told me, sounding rather incredulous.

Well, crap. I didn't see that coming. Still, my poker face remained unbroken, and after a long beat, I raised a single brow.

"Come again?"

"It was handed down over the centuries, along with the rest of your teachings, in the Books of Hymnos," Tsephanyah explained in an equally uncertain voice. "'Weep not, ye faithful, for in time, when both mine and His vessel prove perfect, I shall lead the way for His return, and together, we shall lead you in glory and prosperity once more and forever."

I waited for him to finish what sounded like a quote, and let out a soft grunt.

"Huh. The content checks out, but that doesn't sound like something I would say," I noted while adding just a hint of annoyance to my expression. "This is the second time today, and I don't like how this is developing into a pattern." Looking over everyone present, I asked, "Who among you is in charge of these books he spoke of?"

"That… would be us," one of the women standing behind Savir's group spoke up, and after receiving a glare from Tsephanyah, she meekly added, "O Archon."

"Good. After we're finished here, I want you to bring me a copy, as well as any books that had 'my words' recorded in them. It seems like I will have to verify every single one of them myself."

"We can arrange that," the icy female chief-director answered in her subordinate's stead and she leveled a gaze that was simultaneously aloof and intrigued. "However, before that, I think we should discuss another matter of grave importance."

"And that is?" Mensah prompted her, and her lips slowly bent into something that infinitely approached a smile, but never really got there, and absolutely didn't reach her eyes.

"Since this Bel of the Abyss may pose a threat to our Archon, I think it would be prudent to assign a personal guard detail to him. One that would keep him safe every hour of the day, and would prevent any potential harm of disappearance."

The way she was putting emphasis on certain words would've been annoying on its own, but when combined with my gut reaction to her, it really made my blood boil. After so much exposure, I put her roughly on the same irritation level as Lord Grandpa, which… Well, at the very least, it explained why she put me in a combative mood.

"You want to keep me under surveillance. That's bold of you."

"Prudence is a virtue, and you had yet to prove your identity without a shadow of a doubt," she fired back, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"So you say, but do you think that a couple of your guards are going to be able to keep up with me?"

"I assure you, the members of our Seraphic Safeguard we chose for your protection are quite adept at their job."

"Are they now? I'll be the judge of that," I echoed her earlier words back to her, and her non-smile widened by a few microns.

"I'm sure we can provide you with the opportunity. Am I correct, Primus?"

"Yes, director," Mike's father answered without missing a beat, and the way he was looking at me said he took personal umbrage to my questioning of the capability of his men. I didn't necessarily want to antagonize the man, but I had an image to keep up here, so I dusted off my best wolfish grin and let out an amused chuckle.

"Sounds interesting." At this point, we shared one of those hot-blooded, competitive stares between each other, which was a bit of a pain in the ass to maintain when I didn't really mean it, but again, I had to keep my character consistent. I waited until he got bored by the act, and the moment he averted his gaze, I glanced over to the two more amicable chief directors. "Do we have anything else to discuss?"

"Of course!" Mensah exclaimed, and the next hour or so turned into a crazy whirlwind of boredom.

First, they started off by discussing which department would provide me with servants, which I vetoed on the spot. After that, the topics rapidly shifted, from serious issues, such as my budget, to utterly ridiculous ones, such as how big of a parade they should throw in my honor and whether or not they should rename Teeny to their new name on the many monuments of Polemos.

Then, if that wasn't tiring enough, my annoyance-sensor kept drawing my gaze back to Director Savir and whatever the heck she was writing during all this time. Whatever it was, she was paying it way more attention than anything that was discussed in front of her, and as much as it piqued my curiosity, nominally pretending to closely listen to the conversation prevented me from Far Glancing over her shoulder to take a better look.

At last, the meeting slowly but surely ran out of steam. It might've had something to do with how long I remained completely silent and only frowned at the people present in mild irritation, and if it did, then good riddance.

"I propose that we take a break and continue the conference in the afternoon," my technical boss, good ol' Ammonite proposed with some reservations, wringing his hands from beginning to end, and Tsephanyah rose from his seat in agreement.

"I second the notion. I believe we all need some rest."

When he said that, he was especially looking at me, probably because he thought I spent the whole night wandering the Elysium and listening to the common folk. To be fair, I did that, but I wasn't tired by any means.

"I'm also certain the Archon is eager to meet his security for the first time." Savir's comment momentarily drew the other two chief directors' ire, but she completely disregarded them and declared, "As the First Speaker, I approve of Director Tsephanyah's notion. Let us reconverge after everyone had a chance to discuss this new development."

Everyone seemed to be in agreement and rose to their feet one by one. As for me, I remained seated and continued to observe the situation. By listening to the various proposals that came up tallying up the supporters and detractors, I'd already got a rough picture of the size of the three factions within the Directorate. Savir held the most cards, with nearly half of the other directors following her lead, while the other two were roughly on the same standing, with maybe Tsephanyah holding just a little more sway.

This initial guesstimate was further reinforced as the directors and their deputies gravitated towards the big fishes, forming three clusters that more-or-less corresponded to my previous predictions. With this, I had also confirmed that both Director Ammunition and Director Whatshisface of the Military Operations were in Savir's group, which was surprising in a way, since Jaakobah was a CIEL agent. CIEL teams were under the jurisdiction of the Seraphic Safeguard, which meant they should've been Orthodox, and yet the stoic healer was definitely a Reformist.

It meant that either there was much more of an overlap between the supporters of the three ideologies than I originally suspected, or that there was some internal intrigue going on. In either case, it just meant I had even more to uncover during my stay here.

Strangely, even though they clustered up, nobody left the conference hall yet, and I only belatedly realized it was most likely because I was still seated. My theory was proven right the moment I stood up, and the directors all headed for the doors like they were escaping the room. Well, most of them, at the very least. Some took a beeline right at me instead.

"Are you still eager to test the mettle of my men, O Archon?" Mike's father was the first to address me, and the way he stressed the last words reminded me of Savir. He probably picked the tic up from her, I surmised, and speaking of the devil, the woman also followed after him with the same insincere smile from before.

"Of course he is. The legendary Archon wouldn't back down from a challenge, now would he?"

I leveled a flat stare at her, and after maintaining eye contact for a while, I punctuated it with a drawn-out sigh.

"Is this what Celestial politics have become? Childish bickering and juvenile taunts?"

Her smile withered at once, revealing the usual haughtiness lurking under the surface.

"Immature ploys beget immature responses, I suppose." Without further explaining what she meant, she reached into the creases of her toga and took out a folded-up piece of paper. "If you wish to have a serious discussion befitting an Archon, I implore you to follow these instructions."

She didn't wait for me to take a look, but instead turned on her heel and walked off, closely followed by her entourage. I didn't even have time to call after her, as she was immediately replaced by Director Mensah and his people.

"Don't take what she said to heart. She's set in her ways and can't see the greater picture." He let out a grunt, as if agreeing with his own assessment, and before I could get a word in, he pleaded, "After the meeting, I wish to impose upon you in your quarters, O Archon. As much as Eris and Acacius believe that Elysium is safe, the Abyssal threat is ever-looming, and you need to know to full extent of it if you wish to lead our people in our darkest hour!"

He kept looking at me with zealous expectation, so for lack of better options, I nodded, and he let out a delighted noise and rushed out of the room, along with his followers. I thought Tsephanyah would follow the pattern, but when I found him in the crowd, he only gave me a shallow bow and headed outside, opting to talk with Jaakobah instead. This only left me with…

"Shall we proceed to the Halls of Attainment?" Michael's father proposed, and while I had no idea what that was, since in our previous exchange he was fixated on me testing my 'guards', I was sure this was related to that topic as well.

"Lead the way."

Nodding, the man turned on his heel and headed towards the exit, and I followed closely after him. Once we were back in the lobby, Jaakobah and some other generic placeholder guards followed after us, and I waited until we entered the elevator before I took the piece of paper in my hand and unfolded it. Defying my expectations, it only had four lines written on it.

The first one read, 'I invite you for a cordial discussion, away from prying eyes. Meet me at nine in the evening, seventy-eighth floor, room twelve.'

That was already weird enough, but then the line after that read, 'Disregard the previous instructions. Meet me at eight in room nine.' The way the text was shifting on the paper meant it was written in Celestial Script, which meant it was to test me.

The next line was also written the same way, but while it looked long on paper, full of recursive and self-referential mind-twisters, it boiled down to a simple instruction.

'If you can read this, bring wine.'

 That was confusing enough, but I could still understand that it was also meant to be a test of some sort. Then the last line, more of a paragraph, finally nailed the coffin shut on my poor understanding of this woman's character.

'Thy presence fills mine own breast with joy!  How I wisheth to shareth thy company and heareth the tales of thy many palmy deeds from thy owneth that from which we speak! Prithee, grace me with thy presence, and togeth'r, alloweth us guideth the rudd'r of our people to bountiful wat'rs and prosperity!'

…

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