There I stood, surrounded by a group of definitely-not-angels in their silly togas genuflecting in front of me, a result of a long string of seemingly avoidable events culminating a new and unforeseen development. One that would inevitably find brand new and hitherto unexplained ways to be a pain in the neck. Story of my life, really.
There was no point crying over spilled milk though. Now that we had a stretch of straight and level rails in front of this runaway train of a situation, it was time to spend a moment gathering my wits and summarizing what I knew. If only to see if I was still in full command of my faculties.
In short, I was in the Elysium, the homeland and headquarter of one of the hidden supernatural powers of the world. My alleged mentor, Sir Percival, was working for some Celestials, who were taken out by other Celestials, for reasons I still wasn't entirely clear about. After the infighting, I used the opportunity to infiltrate the Elysium with the intent mark their leaders for future observations. I thought they wanted to give me back my lost memories for one reason or another, but then it turned out that their actual goal was to implant a completely different set of memories into me, by using this transforming knife-spear-doodad in my hand. Now, they were convinced that I was an Archon, which was some kind of ancient title. That… was more or less all I knew at the moment.
Anyhow, that last bit was definitely not part of my plans, but there was no point crying over spilled milk. If anything, this was the time to finally take reign of the situation and stop getting caught up in the flow.
"O Arch—"
"Shut up. Give me a minute," I told them, and closed my eyes.
First, I used Far Sight to check the situation 'outside'. I had no idea how long I was out, and what Sir Percival and his collaborators were up to during that time, so it took priority. The girls… were in some kind of meeting, with Roland and dad-in-law. By the looks of it, they were inside the Dracis mansion, which meant they were safe. Good.
Next, I Far Glanced at my sisters, and they were back home, huddled in front of Snowy's PC and researching something. They looked tired, but otherwise fine. So far, so good.
Over the next couple of seconds, I repeatedly cycled through all the marks on my friends and allies, and while most of them were either in meetings, holed up in their homes, or running around on rooftops (that last one was mostly Mountain Girl), I finally settled on Percival. The old man was lying on a bed with his back propped up by pillows, his head and arms covered in bandages, and he just gave his thanks to the Dracis maid for bringing him an early dinner, and… Wait, was it really that late?
"You. Tsephanyah, was it?"
"Y-Yes, O Archon!" the blonde man stood up at once, delighted by the fact I recognized him.
"How long was I out?"
"If you meant to say since the last time you walked this earth, I believe the answer in solar years should be—"
"Not that, you dimwit," I scoffed and massaged my temple. "For how long was I in that infernal cocoon?"
"Ah. It has been a little over…" He glanced over to the other Celestials behind his back, followed by some back-and-forth whispering. "It was a little over thirty hours, O Archon."
"No wonder I'm thirsty…" I whispered under my breath, and while I was certain nobody could hear me over the incessant buzzing of the Mana Well just a couple steps away from us, it still earned a response from someone.
"{Advice: Archon Polemos's body is weakened. I recommend an intake of sustenance and prolonged rest.}"
"Nobody asked for your opinion," I hissed and knocked the butt of the spear against the floor again. It took way more effort than I expected, and I didn't have to think long to recognize the reason behind it. While I donned my faux Knight Gear, meaning my physical strength was boosted, I'd still held out my right arm at a ninety-degree angle for over thirty hours. That obviously wasn't good for circulation, so the fact that it felt weak and tingly was entirely understandable.
Focusing on the Celestial representative again, I collected my thoughts and let out a long breath.
"I need some time to readjust. Get me a quiet room, water, something to eat, and Jaakobah Arpachshad."
I expected some confusion, or asking some whys and wherefores, or even just someone wondering about how I knew Jaakobah's name. As far as they knew, I should've been replaced by some thousand-years-dead leader figure, yet all the Celestials in the room took my request in stride and practically stumbled over each other in their hurry to bring me something to drink.
The only one who remained stationary was the toga-wearing bigwig, and after a long beat, he tentatively asked, "Do you, perchance, still possess the memories of Leonard Dunning, O Archon?"
"Of course I do," I scoffed as I started moving, using the spear as a makeshift walking pole to help with my stability before shaking it in front of his face. "Are you telling me you didn't even know how this thing worked?"
"I… This was the first time your Spear of Destiny has chosen someone, so we had no precedent, and the original texts from your time were… fragmentary."
"Spear of Destiny?" I echoed the man, and as he nodded, the pointy stick in my hand also chimed in.
"{Elaboration: It is this weapon's official designation.}"
"Yeah, no. From now on, you're… let me see… 'speero', 'desti'… Let's go with 'Teeny'," I blurted out in frustration, and yet the mechanical voice of the spear took it in stride.
"{Confirmation: New designation registered.}"
In the meantime, one of the Celestials that departed just a minute or so ago returned. She was a solidly built middle-aged woman with shoulder-length black hair, currently looking rather matted and dishevelled. The moment she arrived, she fell to one knee and held out a bottle of cheap mineral water to me like it was the Holy Grail.
"I, Adva Tira, Vice-Director of Housing and Rural Development, present my gift to you, O Polemos, Second True Archon of the—"
"Thank you." Running out of patience, I snatched the bottle out of her grasp with my free hand and downed its contents with one single go. It turned out I was thirstier than I thought, as while it definitely hit the spot, I felt like I could drink three or four more of these without feeling full. In any case, I returned the empty bottle to the still-kneeling woman and told her, "Your name is Adva, right? Please remind me to return the favour one day."
"A-Ah! Just the grace of Archon Polemos remembering my name is more than I could ever ask for!" she exclaimed with a frankly disturbing glint of zeal in her eyes. Was this how pop singers felt in front of their most rabid fans, I wondered?
Meanwhile, the rest of the Celestials also came back one by one, carrying bottles, crystal glasses, and all kinds of other containers. Upon noticing the Celestial woman's smug grin as she brandished the empty bottle, I could practically hear the sound of their teeth grinding from over here. My evaluation of this entire society was falling dangerously close to ground level.
"Open the way!" the six-winged director waved his hands and… on second thought, I was probably going to have to interact with him a bunch, so figured it was time I started using his name. Let's amend that: Director Tsephanyah waved his hands and shooed away the gaggle of Celestial bureaucrats plugging the only entrance to the Mana Well shrine. "The Archon just returned to us and requires rest!"
"But what about the banquet? And the parade?" a voice from the back of the group cried out, but before he could respond, I beat him to the punch by raising my voice.
"Cancel them. Nobody has time for frivolous things like that." The people around me seemed almost disappointed, but didn't raise an objection, so I dramatically swept my gaze around the room and added, "So, where's that room I already asked for, and where's Jaakobah?"
"I'm here, Archon," another voice called out from even further back, and when I took a step in that direction, the gaggle of idiots parted in front of me. "Please forgive my appearance. I was requested to present myself at once."
Despite what he said, the man looked perfectly fine. Well, by his own standards, as his cheeks were still sunken and he still had bags under his eyes, but since he was now wearing a dark business casual suit without a tie and matching pants, he looked more than presentable. At the very least, he probably looked better than I did in my makeshift disguise, but that was neither here nor there.
We locked eyes for a moment, and when I raised a questioning brow, he gave me a deep nod and asked, "What do you request from me?"
"Lead me to a decent bed, for a start," I grumbled as I walked between the two rows of people sticking to the walls of the corridor, and I was closely followed by Director Tsephanyah.
"We've already prepared a room for your use, O Archon. It should more than fulfill your expectations."
"That shouldn't be hard, considering they are rather low at the moment," I answered absently, and somehow ended up leading the procession back to the elevator, with Jaakobah and Tsephanyah following right behind me. Once we arrived, I waited for them to call the lift, but they remained completely motionless, so I had to use one of my phantom limbs to do it myself. "Which floor is it?"
The elevator arrived just as I asked, seemingly to everyone's surprise.
"It's… the fifty-second floor, O Archon," the man in the toga answered as he eyed me with an odd look, but I was still thirsty, hungry, and way too tired to play any mind-games with him.
As such, I stepped into the cabin, gestured for Jaakobah to follow after me, and the moment he was inside, I used the same phantom limb to close the doors and get the elevator moving before anyone else could even move a finger.
"I think there was a mistake," the gaunt healer whispered and tried to hum something, no doubt to make the cabin stop and return to the basement, but I quickly overrode the command he sent to the magical interface.
"Shut up, Jaakobah," I hissed at the man, and his eyes opened wide as saucers, which meant my expression was probably direr than intended. I didn't care. "Just so you know, you're already on my shit-list for roping me into this. How high you're going to end up on that list is entirely dependent on your words and actions in the next couple of minutes, so I recommend you shut up, stay put, and think long and well about your options. Are we clear?"
"Yes. Crystal."
His response was instantaneous. I had no choice but to give it to him; he was remarkably cool under pressure. For the next couple of minutes, we remained silent as the elevator slowly climbed its way up to our destination.
