Chapter Two Hundred and Nineteen - Guilt

We were all silent. I think you could have heard a pin drop.

The silence stretched, and the only sound was Awen’s clothes shifting as she reached around and grabbed my hand for a squeeze.

“Care to explain?” Amaryllis asked.

Emmanuel worked his jaw. “I... could you repeat that?” he asked.

Jim the Unknowable shifted, his little bowler hat slipping to the side a little. “Oh! I don’t mind that at all. I merely asked why you killed your fri--”

The dungeon creature was cut off as Emmanuel bolted, hooves clattering on the top of the table as he shot forwards.

I only had time to gasp as the cervid’s sword came swinging out of its sheath and cut an arc through the air, aimed right at Jim’s head.

The creature raised one large tentacle to intercept the blade. Bright steel dug into the blubbery surface of the tentacle, spilling black blood in a splash as the sword bit and cut through the limb.

“Wait!” I shouted, far too late.

Jim screamed, not in surprise, but in anger. His body flashed and his tentacles reared up, the ends bunching up into big rubbery balls while others shot down and grabbed the edges of the table.

“Back!” Bastion called. He grabbed Howard and flung the fishman behind him just as the table flipped towards us.

I stumbled backwards, pulling Awen with me just far enough that the huge stone table missed our toes.

“Damn it, you idiot deer!” Amaryllis shouted before stabbing a hand forwards. Lightning crackled ahead of her, slicing through the air and stabbing into one of Jim’s tentacles that was crashing towards her.

The creature screamed again, and one of his smaller tentacles whipped out of him with a crack and smacked Amaryllis back. She squawked as she flew.

“Amy!” I took one step her way, then froze. No. “Awen! Look after Amaryllis!”

“A-awa!” Awen agreed before bolting off.

I spun to save Jim and Emmanuel.

The monster had switched his focus back onto the cervid, tentacles swinging towards Emmanuel from every direction, while others speared out towards the deer to try and stab him.

Emmanuel was holding his own. Sweat matted his fur down, and his teeth were grit, but his arms worked like machines, swinging this way and that, slapping tentacles away, and slicing at others while he side-stepped those he couldn’t parry.

If I interrupted him now...

“Jim!” I called out. “Jim, stop, please! It was a mistake, please, we don’t need to fight!”

“It’s too late, lass,” Howard said. “Once he starts, there’s no end to it.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. My hands worked, and I felt like Howard had just dropped a rock at the bottom of my tummy. “Dang it!” I swore, one foot crashing onto the ground in a protesting thump.

Bastion stepped past me, working his arm. “Ranged support,” he said. It sounded like an order.

I... stepped back and nodded. It felt wrong, really wrong, but I couldn’t let Bastion fight on his own. I started to create fireballs, little ones, that burned bright and warm and cast orange light across the room.

Bastion dove forwards and cut a bloody swathe through Jim’s smaller tentacles, instantly relieving Emmanuel as the tide of battle reversed. A glance revealed that a few blows had slipped past, and Emmanuel was favouring his sternum with his free hand.

I heard a loud clunk, and a bolt sprouted out from where I figured Jim’s head was. Awen was helping then, which meant that Amaryllis wasn’t in bad shape.

I flung my fireballs forwards and almost felt like crying as they seared into Jim’s tentacular flesh with a painful sizzle.

With a screeching howl, Jim started to spin, tentacles flicking around him in a blur of movement that I couldn’t quite follow. Emmanuel and Bastion both backed up, but that only seemed to push Jim to move faster.

Then Bastion jumped, wings beating, as he flew over the edge of Jim’s whirlwind, flipped once, and brought his sword up. Magic burst out of the sylph, brilliant blues and yellows that flowed up to the tip of his sword before he brought it slicing down.

Jim crashed, his momentum still carrying him around, but without the direction from before. The creature rolled across the room, tentacles thumping against the ground and shattering stone before he rammed into a wall off to the side.

I hissed. That had to have hurt.

Bastion stood atop Jim, seemingly unhurt, then slashed down twice in quick succession.

Ding! Congratulations, you have Sliced the Life from Jim the Unknowable, Level 12! EXP reduced for fighting as a group!

Jim started to fade.

I stared as the body turned to dust.

Bastion moved off, then pulled a rag from a pocket to clean his blade. He was expressionless, but I felt as if that was just a thin mask over a lot of anger. It didn’t take much to follow the direction he was gazing to find Emmanuel at the end.

I put that on the backburner for the moment. First, I had to check on Amaryllis.

My harpy friend was climbing back to her talons. Her emotions weren’t nearly as well-masked as Bastion’s. “Care to explain?” she asked. Her voice carried across the room.

I didn’t like any of this, but I didn’t feel ready to interfere either.

Emmanuel looked our way, just a glance before he focused on his sword. He stared at it for a while, staring into his own reflection. Then he slid it back into its sheath and turned our way with a smile. It didn't fit well, like he was trying not to break down in front of us. “Shall we continue on? That was a good bit of experience!”

“What?” Amaryllis asked. “You think we’re just going to brush this all aside?”

“Miss Harpy--”

“Don’t ‘Miss Harpy’ me,” Amaryllis warned. “What. Was. That?”

“Amaryllis,” I said. It was just a murmur, but she heard it, and I saw her backing down a little. Still on a low simmer though.

I turned towards Emmanuel, aware that my friends and I were all set in a rough semi-circle around him. I... really hoped he wouldn’t try anything. If he did, it wouldn’t be a nice position to be in, not for him.

“Mister Emmanuel,” I said. “I... I know it might be a little hard, but I think you need to explain.”

Emmanuel’s fist opened and closed, and he looked really distressed for a moment. “There’s nothing to explain. We, we’re quite done here, aren’t we? Shall we move on?”

“Mister Emmanuel,” I repeated. “No. I... I don’t know what’s wrong with, with you, but just no. We’re not moving until you explain.”

I saw Bastion from the corner of my eye, sword still in hand, and Awen had her crossbow close. My spade was lowered, I didn’t want to fight, but...

The cervid looked to all of us in turn, confusion then anger warring in her eyes for a moment before the emotion broke and he looked down to the floor. Then Emmanuel sat down on the ground, a really strange posture for a cervid to take. “Did you want to hear the answer?” he asked. “Why I killed my friends? Is that it?”

“I... yeah, we’d like to know that,” I said. My tummy twisted up in a knot. He really did kill his friends? That was... no, that was awful. “Please?”

“It’s not a nice story.”

“We can imagine that much,” Amaryllis said.

He laughed, but it sounded forced. “Ah, I guess from the start?”

“If that’s what you want,” I said.

I saw Amaryllis working her jaw, but I shook my head. We could let him talk. There would be time for questions and accusations after.

He thought about it, then nodded. “Sure. I don’t know how much you know about the Republican Army? It’s the main armed force that defends and expands the Trenten Flats. Most young cervid, the men, will join at one time or another, do their year or two of service, and then return to civilian life. It makes our people strong, makes sure everyone is near their tenth level early, and some will remain in the army, getting a new class as they do so. I’m noble-born, I wasn’t going to be some mere private. I went to officer training school, with plenty of other young cervid boys, and then I got a commission.” He smiled. It didn’t last long, but it was there for a moment.

“You were an officer?” I asked. He really didn’t seem the sort.

“Not a good one,” he said. “I know that now, but at the time I thought I was the greatest cervid to walk on four legs. The brass know what cervid like me are like, I think. They gave me a squad of green soldiers, one sergeant, and a map for an area to patrol.”

I nodded, encouraging him to go on. He crossed his arms, hugging himself.

“It was awful. I thought they were all just peasants. I treated them the way I did my servants at home, at least at first. My sergeant beat the stuffing out of me one night.” He laughed, as if it was a fond memory. “I could have had him court-martialled, but I think it worked. I started becoming closer to them?”

“That’s nice,” I said.

Slowly, he nodded. “It was. Hard, or at least, what I thought of as hard then. I didn’t even carry my share of equipment, and I had a nicer tent... I was very stupid. We were returning when we found a dungeon. A small one, near Lavaleigh. It wasn’t on the maps, none of us had heard of it. So I insisted we explore. The first floor was a joke. The second had one of my squad injured when he stumbled over a loose rock of all things.”

Emmanuel laughed. It was hollow.

“We patched him up, made some jokes about how clumsy he was. It was... fun?”

I think I knew what that was like.

“Then the final floor. The boss. We were all at or near our class evolutions, level ten. It was the same level. We figured it would be a cakewalk. Except for our sergeant ... he told us to turn back, maybe return better equipped. I ordered a charge instead.”

Emmanuel’s shoulder came in.

“They died. I was at the back. I didn’t.”

“Oh,” I said. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he said. “Be sorry for them, they had a stupid leader. I was just... such a coward. Do you know what the worst thing is? The boss gave me the Knight class. Knight! It’s a joke. The army gave me a pat on the back and a commendation for finding a dungeon and clearing it, and I left. I decided that I would be a knight, but for real. Like in the stories.”

Amaryllis mumbled something, low enough that I couldn’t quite catch it, but it didn’t sound like a very nice comment.

I decided not to comment on that. Emmanuel’s story was... rough. It sounded like it was something still fresh to him. He didn’t look very old. Had it happened a year ago? Two?

No, the time didn’t matter. For some people it would take a lot longer to get over things, and I imagined that if the army rewarded him, then they never considered how he felt about the whole ordeal.

He had tried to become a hero, in his own way. He was not very good at it, but I couldn’t fault the idea behind it. And what had happened to his friends... I winced. That could happen to us. Underestimating a dungeon boss, running into a pirate when we were flying around. Meeting some people that weren’t very nice. We were getting stronger all the time, but my friends and I weren’t all Abraham Bristlecones who could laugh off trouble.

I carefully walked across the room, avoiding broken teacups and spilled chairs until I was in front of Emmanuel. Then I tipped forward and gave him a hug. It probably didn’t help very much, but it was the only thing I could think to do.

“Please don’t,” Emmanuel said.

I sighed and pulled back, then hovered a few feet away. “I’m still sorry,” I said.

I heard a familiar sigh from next to me. Amaryllis. “His story is certainly sad, but he still put us all at risk. And he killed Jim. That creature might have been a dungeon creature, but it was a peaceful one.”

“I know,” I said. “Just... this is hard.”

She huffed, a surprisingly neutral sort of huff.

“What do we even do?” I asked. “Tell Emmanuel to go away? He made a mistake.” Amaryllis gave me a look. “A few mistakes, but I don’t think he means to be, um, troublesome.”

“I think,” Awen said. “Maybe Mister Chadsbourne isn’t as ready for this kind of adventure as he thinks. At least, not the part where we work together as a team.”

“But what can we do about it?” I asked.

Awen came a bit closer and touched my shoulder. “Broc, it’s not us who need to do something about that.”

“Oh,” I said.

***