Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Two – All You Can’t Eat
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Chapter Four Hundred and Seventy-Two - All You Can't Eat

"Alright, before we go any deeper, we should take a minute to go over what we'll be facing on the second floor," Amaryllis said. She was already pulling the big book out of her bag and tugging it open to the right page.

"I hope it's not more eating, I expect dungeons to be good exercise, not places where I get stuffed," Calamity said with a pat to his tummy.

"Hpmf, no worries about that," Amaryllis said as she tapped the tip of a talon at the page. "The second floor of this dungeon is one where we won't have a choice but to fight. There's a small puzzle by the exit, but it seems like it's a very easy one."

"What kind of fighting?" I asked.

"Nothing too complicated. The floor is laid out as a very basic maze. The last delver who went through said that the 'right hand rule' was able to solve it within half an hour. The enemies on this floor aren't anything too special. Imps of some sort or another."

We all nodded, then stopped. "What's an imp?" Awen asked.

Amaryllis shrugged. "Some small lizard, I think? I don't know."

"Aren't they little devil people?" I asked.

"I thought they were insects," Caprica muttered.

Amaryllis cleared her throat. "In any case. These imps drop pages when they die. These are the pages of a recipe book. The exit to the maze has... hmm, the notes aren't too precise, but it says here that you need to complete the recipe blocks by the door and it'll open for you. In any case, the floor boils down to killing these imps and walking around for a bit. Let me handle the puzzle at the end."

"I'm not sure if I'm really capable of fighting so much," Booksie said. She tightened her grip on her club. "B-but I'll give it my best!"

Awen reached over and patted the bun on the back. "It's not so bad. A little scary, but not so bad."

"We'll keep you safe," I promised. "We can keep Booksie in the centre of our formation, so she won't have to fight anything to begin with."

"No!" Booksie said. "No, I want to help, please? The whole goal of this is to help me become stronger, and I won't gain any strength if I'm forever coddled and kept safe."

"That's the spirit!" Desiree said. "Let's show these imp creatures your fearsome determination!"

The tunnel leading from the first floor of the dungeon to the second was just a long corridor with a handful of random 45-degree turns in it. The walls were strangely familiar, something like drywall, painted an inoffensive pastel green over flooring that looked suspiciously like linoleum.

Interestingly, the second floor of the dungeon wasn't below the first, but just just deeper in. It started with a door. It was one of those easy-to-open doors you'd find between a kitchen and the main floor of a restaurant, the sort with no handle and hinges that went both ways.

"Okay," I said. "Caprica and I will be at the front. Then Amaryllis, Booksie, and Desiree. Calamity and Awen, can you take up the rear?"

The formation was meant to keep Booksie safe. Yes, she wanted to help, but I wasn't going to let her help from the very front where she might get chewed on by an imp.

I pushed the door open with a shoulder, then levelled my weapon. I had Weedbane with me, so I flicked the warscythe around, the sharpened end snapping into place so that it was more of a spear than just a plain scythe.

Caprica next to me slid her sword out of its sheath. She had a shield with her too, and from the way she moved to place it a little bit ahead of both of us, it looked like she was ready to defend both of us with it.

I glanced back, just to make sure everyone was ready. Amaryllis had her wand-dagger out, Calamity his bow and Awen her repeating crossbow loaded up and ready to go. Booksie looked a little stiff, holding her club like a baseball bat, but she seemed ready too. Desiree was the only unarmed one in our group, but she met my eye and smiled before flicking her tails and making two fireballs appear on the tips.

The second floor of the dungeon started with a sharp right turn. The walls were wood-panelled, and I was surprised to note that there was furniture strewn about all over. Tables, with little tablecloths on them and a random assortment of plates and utensils sitting on them, and a couple of passages leading away.

"It looks like a restaurant," Caprica said. "A strange one."

"Yeah," I agreed.

We didn't have much of a choice on where to go for this part, so we started towards the right, moving at a very slow walking pace. I kept looking up towards the ceiling above. There were chandeliers hanging from above, and a few wall sconces bearing candles for light, but shadows still pooled above around the corners.

I was so ready for an imp to come flying down from the ceiling that I was caught completely off-guard when one of them slipped out from under the tablecloth around a table and zipped towards my legs.

"Eyes on the floor!" Caprica said.

She stepped forwards and squatted down in a quick, smooth motion that brought the front of her shield right in the path of the imp. It was a hairless little guy, with red skin and a tablecloth around his hips.

It banged against the shield with a hard thump, then flipped backwards onto the ground. I thrust Weedbane at it, and felt a slight tug as the edge of the scythe cut into the imp. "Quick! Booksie, it's hurt! Give it a bonk!"

Booksie screamed and charged past me, both arms raised over her head and her eyes closed.

Still, she brought her club down hard, hit the ground, then swung it back up and down again to bonk the imp on the head.

The little imp, a small reddish-brown humanoid, with thin little wings and a skeletally-thin body, went splat.

Within seconds, it was turning into so much dust and I got a message from Mister Menu.

Ding! Congratulations, you have bonked Ravenous Imp cat, level 6!
Due to combating as a team your reward is reduced!

"I did it!" Booksie gasped.

"Well done!" I said as I patted her on the shoulder. At the same time, my friends moved in around us, keeping an eye out for more imps.

"That thing didn't look all that strong. What level was it?" Calamity asked.

"Six," Caprica said. "A Skeletal Imp. It dropped something." She knelt, then rose with a small sheet of crumpled paper. "This must be one of those recipe parts you mentioned, Amaryllis."

"Looks like it," Amaryllis agreed as she took the page and carefully unfolded it. "Yes, this looks like a part of cookbook. There's a page number in the corner and everything." She held the page up, and it was easy to see where it had been ripped out of whatever book it belonged to.

I supposed we'd be finding more of those as we went. "Let's keep moving. We're sticking to the right-hand rule, right?" That was an easy enough trick. As long as we kept a wall to the right of us, then we'd eventually be able to solve the entire maze!

Unless the book was out-of-date and the right-hand rule no longer worked.

Well, we'd figure that out if it came to it, I was sure!

The restaurant theme continued as we moved deeper in the maze. Old paintings hung on the walls, with pretty landscapes and sometimes some impressionistic figures. A lot of the paintings actually had random courthouses in them, and the people were often dressed in severe black robes.

"Stay sharp," Caprica whispered when she caught me staring. "I think I heard something ahead."

"Okay," I muttered back.

True to her word, it wasn't long before more imps showed up. They darted from around both corners of an intersection, little red blurs that scrabbling our way with fearsome, squeaky cries.

Amaryllis was quick to react, her dagger-wand flashing with a bright burst of electrical light. Her bolts struck true, frying the first imp and connecting to the second to send it tumbling our way. It caught an arrow from Calamity mid-flop and came ragdolling toward us.

"I feel like we might be overleveled," I said.

"There's no such thing," Amaryllis said. "Only those who are ready to face an obstacle, and those who aren't."

"I guess. But this almost feels unfair for the poor imps."

"Broccoli, they want to eat us."

"Ah," I said. That was a fair point. "Well, we're not going to give them a chance!"

With a couple more pages added to Amaryllis' pile, we continued on through the dungeon. It didn't take long before we were ambushed again, then again, then yet again, but really, a few imps coming at us while yowling wasn't all that big of a threat.

I figured we'd come out of this floor without too much trouble.

***

Are You Entertained?
 
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Stupid taxes.
 

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