Chapter Two Hundred and Forty-Nine - Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better (Except for Hugs)

General Holey escorted us back out of the underground base. This time I was sure to keep my head ducked to avoid bonking my forehead against a beam again.

Once we were out and back under the full light of the sun--there was a lot of blinking until our eyes adjusted--the general flagged down a mole person who looked like he was one of the workers, though he had a big sash over his chest that might have been a sign he was important.

The general relayed a few quick orders, mostly telling the foremole to shift the focus of their construction for the next few hours, and that he’d explain more in a moment.

He was doing his part of the agreement with Bastion.

“I trust,” General Holey said as he turned back to us, clawed hands on hips, “that you’ll carry out your end of all of this?”

“We’ll do what we can,” Bastion said. “As I said, my goal is to avoid conflicts, which, right now, means addressing your concerns.”

The general nodded seriously. “I appreciate it, paladin,” he said before extending a hand to Bastion. My smaller friend grabbed it and shook.

“See you later then!” I said.

“Ah, yes, have a good afternoon, Captain Bunch, Captain Ward,” Holey said with a nod for the both of us.

I waved goodbye. I wanted to hug him. He seemed very soft under all the armour. But we weren’t on those kinds of terms yet, and besides, he did have all those armoured bits in the way.

The gate was lowered and we crossed back out of the wall, the general following us to the threshold. “Good luck, and may the skies remain clear above you.”

“May Dirt keep you in its embrace,” Bastion returned with a small bow.

Then we were off, heading back to the little wagon with the other guards on it. “That was well done,” Captain Ward said.

“Just a day’s work,” Bastion said. “This situation with the army disturbs me. I can’t imagine their actions being approved by the brass.”

“You think someone’s doing something they shouldn’t?” I asked. “I mean, other than how much the army shouldn’t be mean already. The way Holey described things makes it sound almost as if the molefolk are being bullied. I can kinda understand doing what the moles are doing, even if I know that being mean isn’t how you respond to someone else being mean back.”

“I think that the local garrison has decided to ignore some rather important protocols at a time where doing such is even more irresponsible than usual,” Bastion said.

“More than usual?” I asked. “Because of the war?”

Bastion nodded, then cast a glance towards Guard Captain Ward, who was walking just a pinch stiffly. “I don’t mean to be rude, Broccoli, but maybe keep what you know about that to yourself for now. There isn’t a war yet, and hopefully there won’t be one.”

“I understand” I said. “I can keep quiet... so, where are we going now?”

Bastion considered it for a moment. “Captain Ward, I think it would be more expedient for you to visit the quarry. It isn’t too far from here. Maybe you can get some answers from there. Meanwhile, Captain Bunch and I will be visiting Commander Warmwood.”

“That’s a ways away,” Captain Ward said.

Bastion dismissed the concern with a wave of his hand. “I’ve been on a ship for some time, and while I did keep up with my training, there wasn’t much room for a good jog. The run will do me good. As for the captain... Broccoli, how would you like to race?”

“A race? From here back to Granite Springs? I don’t know, I’ve never been really competitive.”

Bastion shifted, his shoulders and back stretching under his armour. “That’s fine too, as long as we keep a good pace.”

It would be fun to see how fast I could go. I liked running back on Earth, and I guess I’d done a lot of exercise since coming here. It would be cool to see how much faster I was. Plus, I had Way of the Mystic Bun, which used to have Hopping in it. That probably made me pretty fast. Rabbits were the symbol for speed for a reason... well, at least on lawnmower throttles. “Alright,” I said.

Bastion grinned, then turned to the captain. “We’ll be back soon enough, I imagine. Stay near the quarry for a while. But if we haven’t returned by evening, contact the Palace.”

Captain Ward saluted. “Yes, sir,” he said.

Bastion stopped, then reached back while folding a leg and grabbed onto his ankle. He started to stretch, so I did the same.

Or at least I tried, it had been a long time since I’d done any stretching, even if I knew it was important to do before exercising.

“I’ll let you set the pace,” Bastion said.

“Cool! I don’t know how fast I am now, so call out if you can’t keep up!”

Bastion laughed. It was a very mean “as if you can outrun me” sort of laugh. I’d just have to prove him wrong.

I knelt, planted my feet properly, bent my back a bit, then wiggled my rear to make sure everything was loose.

Then I bounced.

My feet hammered into the ground, shooting my forwards in a dead sprint that had my hair and ears flapping out behind me. Each step skipped me ahead a dozen paces, with my shoe hitting the ground with a solid stomp.

I had to blink hard to keep the wind from blurring my vision, so I bowed my head and knelt into it. It was a weird way to run, more of a very fast skip than a proper sprint, but I was going really fast, the ground zooming past and trees blurring on either side of the road.

I glanced back.

Bastion was casually running a pace behind me, a small smile on his lips.

I huffed and pushed myself harder.

Bastion ran up alongside me. “So, you seemed surprised when we entered the base with the general. Did something occur?”

I started swinging my arms; that always helped.

“It... was... a... new... skill,” I said between pants.

“Oh? What’s the skill? By the way, you don’t need that much stamina. Use it as you’re moving your leg, then in your thigh as you bring your leg back up. Let your body take care of most of it. The stamina you use should be to assist, not to do all the work.”

I swallowed and tried to do as he said, then I wobbled and almost stumbled as my legs didn’t move as fast as I needed them to on the next bounce.

“We don’t need to be moving this fast—a smoother pace would be a lot easier. Less strain, less risk of taking a fall.”

Reluctantly, I slowed down. It was probably for the best. My breathing was already coming in hard, and my heart was ringing around in my chest like an alarm clock going off. “Okay, okay,” I said. It was probably going to be easier to talk at a quick jog anyway.

“So, the new skill?”

“Oh! It’s called, uh, Proportion Distortion.”

Bastion hummed. “I’m unfamiliar with that one. What does it do?”

“The description says it’ll help me fit in and out, but that doesn’t really help. I got it while I was following you and the general into that tunnel.”

“Interesting.”

“Is it rare, maybe?” I asked.

“Perhaps. There is no doubt an order of magnitude more skills I haven’t heard of than skills that I have, so my ignorance here shouldn’t count as a surprise. Still, I’d venture a guess that it might be a skill that will make it easier for you to fit into tight spaces. I’m not sure why you’d specifically gain that skill though.”

“That... sounds kind of useless. We live on an airship, not underground,” I said.

“It’s been my experience that no skill is truly useless. The World isn’t so cruel as to give someone a skill they won’t need.”

I pouted. That was a lie. I had Adorable still, and there was never a skill less useful than that. I’d have to see what Proportion Distortion turned into.

“Once we reach the capital, maybe you could visit the library. There’s a section there with books entirely dedicated to skills, and there are some archivists who would love to have you describe any unique skills you have and what they do.”

“That sounds practical,” I said. “They help people?”

“Freely, yes. Certain skills are only unlocked while doing certain actions. The differences between two skills can be slight, but sometimes they can be fairly important. Sword Fighting Proficiency is greater than Swordplay Proficiency.”

“What’s the difference?” I asked.

“Fighting is more about the use of a sword in combat; play is inclined towards flashier, more complex movements. Swordplay is certainly more impressive, but if I were a betting sylph I’d put my coin on whoever had Sword Fighting first.”

“Huh,” I said as I considered it. That made some sense. Some skills were likely very close in nature. What even was the difference between Cute and Adorable anyway? Other than the heightened insult.

I think Bastion was trying to read my mind or something. “Getting rid of a skill is tricky business, but there are almost always a few combination skills available, and it’s sometimes worth losing a general skill for some time to get something that will combine with another skill you dislike.”

“That would be great,” I said.

I added “find a way to get rid of Adorable” to the top of my priority list.

The road moved on, our pace never really slowing, even though I was chewing through my stamina with a point lost every couple of bounces. Once in a while I’d regain a point though, so it wasn’t all bad.

Also, Cleaning magic meant I wasn’t sweaty or anything, which was a bonus.

We arrived back at Granite Springs in good time, one of the guards by the gate running out to meet us with obvious concern. Bastion reassured him that everything was well, but then asked if we could have a small escort over to the military base, and if there was a way to talk to whomever was Captain Ward’s second-in-command.

Things moved pretty fast after that. Bastion talked in quick, clipped tones with a couple of guards, then he relayed what we’d learned to a lieutenant in the guard who was told to go and repeat it all to the mayor.

I stayed near Bastion the entire time, trying not to get in his way.

I did spot the Beaver Cleaver parked above, still sitting pretty in his berth.

Bastion gestured for me to follow him, and we made our way around the exterior walls of the city. They had a very small dip before the wall, not quite a ditch but almost. I wondered if that counted as a moat or not. If it did, it was a very disappointing one.

“The base is... right there,” Bastion said as he gestured ahead.

There was a section of the wall that looked a little newer, and that jutted out of the rest at a ninety-degree angle. A boxy protrusion on the side of the city, with a few additional towers and a second gate leading out onto a packed dirt road.

A couple of rows of young sylphs were in the back, sweating under the sunlight while swinging swords up and down with dull monotony.

“Can you clean off my armour?” Bastion asked. “If it isn’t too much trouble. We’ll need to be presentable for this next part.”

“No problem,” I said, flaring my cleaning magic. “I’ll let you do the talking, you let me do any necessary hugging.”

“Deal.”

***