This time, the feeling was shared between us. Allison used some of my tricks on me but I still made sure she enjoyed the whole thing, abbreviated though it was compared to last night. My skin, even as a….simulation of an anime-like being formerly known as a Kinrae (it was hard to shake the word…), didn’t match Allison’s for sensitivity but it was still fun as we played through the same harmony but, for me, with a different set of instruments. 

All too soon, Allison had to get dressed and ready to go and so did I. She turned back to male-form for the time being. My mind wasn’t in classes though. I’d neglected an assignment but I couldn’t bring myself to care. There was so much else going on that the professor’s cautioning of the importance of this or that just felt like a stream of words against my ears. I didn’t have my device on for classes but I had it nearby. Checking my phone, I didn’t see a reply back from Brandt but I doubted any answer would be swift or what I wanted.

The evening couldn’t come quickly enough. I had a rice bowl for lunch and enjoyed Allison’s rice and chicken mix as an early evening meal. We welcomed one another back from our day with a long kiss after Allison shifted back to female, like she’d slipped off tight shoes or a stiff uniform. She made enough of the meal to take with her to Lissa. 

I settled into the driver’s seat as Allison secured her still-steaming cargo. We discussed our day on the way. Allison had been so tempted to change into a girl for random customers when her supervisor wasn’t around but she recalled the store security cameras and decided against it. Same went for class, especially trying to hit high notes (but she was trying to slip those in, since her vocal range expanded). 

Lissa’s car was in the driveway but not Michael’s. I’d half expected the complication of Michael or Linnea to the evening. I’d have to tell him/her about Tessa too.

Allison darted up the walkway on light feet to the door. I considered turning on my device but left it off for the time being. She waited for me to join her before ringing. Quilla answered first and peered past the door at Allison with a skeptical look. She waved and grinned in return. Quilla called behind her, “Moooommmm…Allison turned himself into a girl again!” She put it like one sibling tattling on another before receding with the door open.

Lissa noticed Allison’s appearance with a quick frown followed by a raised eyebrow in my direction. She asked, “So…I’m guessing this is the side-effect of the device you mentioned...?”

Catching Lissa up on everything would be quite a task. Allison let me begin as we settled in the kitchen. I gave Lissa the pieces of odd dialogue and implication from Tessa as the first round. 

She only interrupted for clarification about what I had brought up in class on Wednesday. Allison gave her opinions of Tessa before leading into coming home and finding herself in the form she was now. Quilla crept by the doorway and peered to listen. Lissa admonished her, “Ninja…we’re not veggies.” Quilla shrugged and hung around before opining, “I think you’re better as a girl, Allison.”

Allison thanked her and continued. She displayed a receding and return of her breasts before she got winded and needed something to drink. Lissa leaned forward with her hand on her chin and pried further. We made last evening's fun time into a deleted scene even though Lissa noticed the time jump from figuring out the ability to sitting and watching videos. 

Then, I noted a real deleted scene with my morning and not remembering parts of it…followed by the reappearance of Tessa. I offered up answers as well as I could remember them followed by the admission of Tessa’s kind secretly being in the world for longer than the “Kinrae” were known to first visit, followed by the truth of the name. She absorbed both with a sigh and said, “If we had proof we’d be all over TV. Be honest. Do you think there’s some dark purpose with these devices? Because...well…” She grimaced but I understood what she meant. She’d used it and so had Michael. 

I didn’t know what to tell her. I was as lost myself. But I did reference what Tessa said at points which suggested they wanted the best, at least for me. So I had to assume, “I don’t think they mean ill for us. I mean they have a special name for humanity with Kinrae.”

Lissa frowned and asked, “And what about if Kinrae doesn’t mean friend or kindred to them but 'servant' or something worse? I’ve seen too many old, creepy sci-fi movies not to at least think about it.”

Allison offered her own changes as a possibility of benign purpose, noting, “She apparently said I made a choice. What if it’s like another set of sci-fi movies where the outsiders want to liberate people from their world to change them and free them for the sake of happiness?” Lissa mulled that but couldn’t really decide. She pressed her hands and said, “Maybe. Is there anything else?”

We’d been skipping over it but I could feel Allison wanted to say it. At the same time, I could remember so very well how Lissa had poured out feelings and desires the last time we’d been alone. I shifted the subject to Quilla, who was sneakily-preparing a sandwich of peanut butter, lightly-salted pickles, and mayo. It was part of her apparent training regimen against her sodium-based adversaries, adapting to them in small doses. The other part was learning to swim so she could tolerate the ocean, where she would go riding on an inflatable slug creature Linnea had given her. 

I couldn’t help but smile as I listened. The salt thing had stuck around for a good while but I sensed it was coming to a close for the two of them and then something new and silly would come up. If only such things in childhood could carry over with the same carefree feeling into adulthood, but all childhoods end and some don’t even begin, as I reflected on my own. I could only hope Quilla’s would persist in the best possible way.

Eventually, she slipped off with her food and an ocean of little ideas to her room while we gave Lissa the last part. I put my hand on Allison’s hand and told her simply, “I made my decision.”

She didn’t catch on until Allison leaned towards me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Smirking, she asked, “So…is there an opening to join the harem still?”

We both smiled. Then, Allison dropped the bomb, “I’m actually thinking of being exclusive to Sean. Despite how I usually am…”

Lissa raised a hand and said, “Wait wait wait…uh. Let’s see if I’ve got this right. Allison Longbloom….the most polyamorous being in the world which isn’t a bonobo…and I mean that in the nicest way possible….is settling down as a girl with a boyfriend?”

Allison clarified that the genders of the relationship would be in constant flux but we nodded together that was correct.

Making a motion around her head like an explosion had gone off, Lissa chuckled and said, “I guess this is perfect then because we each have someone…in that way.”

Her turn to surprise me. I immediately asked if it was Michael but she reassured me, “We’re on amicable terms but, as I said to you before, it’s over and that’s the way I prefer it. What I’m referring to is soon after we last talked. Actually, because we last talked and how you said that I need to move on and not be afraid.”

Lissa settled back in her chair. “And I thought that meant you and me and I kinda undulated between how you saw me last time and just gritting my teeth. But then it struck me…you are drat sexy. You’re funny. You’re special to me. You’re sincere. Allison, wanna take it from here?”

Allison added a few choice, smiling happy words to my description to leave me blushing. Lissa chuckled and noted, “I still feel all those things. But I knew in my gut and in my heart that the moments we share like... Me teasing you. Just sitting around. Ripping into movies. Quiet moments. Loud ones. Confused ones. Beautiful ones. They’re all about my best friend. I know things will change and they should. I mean, for heck’s sake, Quilla’s clothes from Christmas are getting snug! But I’m happy, right here and right now….and I’ve been thinking of how to put it…”

Her shoulders drooped as she reflected. Allison's eyes widened. It took tapping her lips before Lissa came to it, “I live for one soul and she’s in the other room drawing up salt-destroying battle plans. Anything else is in orbit of that soul. She’s everything now and as long as I live. I should never have let the fall of my marriage isolate her from her dad and I’m fixing that. And, after you talked to me, I had a conversation with a co-worker who I’ve known casually for a while. A real conversation without work hanging over it.”

She gave his name as Daniel and noted how, from discussing a silly cat-thing on Daniel’s phone, they moved into making arrangements and plans. She learned he had a little boy a year younger than Quilla, as well as a thousand other little things which brought them closer.

She immediately cautioned, “It could be another mistake. I’m quite good at those. But in those moments and talking to him, it’s just like all the times where we worked well together in the store became something more.”

With that, she shrugged, offering, “It’s a shift in my life which doesn’t make me afraid I’m losing something but rather like the pieces are coming together. And Sean, you are always and forever a piece of my life. You too, Allison. I love you both. But I mean…you two are together, you get what I mean, right? One of those moments in life where it feels like mysteries are all locking into place and you feel serene.”

I could tell she was struggling with the words. I knew I would in her place as well. I put a hand on her hand and Allison joined me. I had a sense of what she meant. It was the clarity of “I love you” with Allison and knowing that this was where I wanted to be. Lissa had found a place she felt she wanted to be and I told her, sincerely, I was happy for her. Allison chimed in with, “It’s not a harem but it’s still cute! Tell us more!”

She relayed how Daniel laughed, how he organized, how he told stories, how he made sure everyone in a room was happy before he allowed himself to smile. She also relayed his quirkiness and his problems growing up and his loneliness away from his son and his fears, which he and Lissa shared like a specially-coded language. I knew that I wouldn’t understand what it was like to be a parent at this point in my life. Being responsible for someone like Quilla just felt shockingly daunting for me. But Lissa handled it with such imagination, love, and ease even though she laid bare all her anxieties to me regularly.

And then it kinda clicked for me. Lissa needed me as a friend to blow off that anxiety with. Allison too. Just to sit here and talk in a certain way. And she needed someone in another way with Daniel. It was the same for me as needing Uncle Nolan in my life to show me the way family should’ve been and needing Allison to show me…other things. Or maybe I was completely off-base. All the same, I felt sincerely happy for Lissa with no regrets.

Allison offered up, “Would he mind joining the harem?” Lissa snickered and noted, “With some of the stuff he’s said, I think you and him would get along nicely.” Allison liked the sound of that but Lissa was coy on the details. 

Eventually, we settled in to watch the movie. Allison gave me some distance so I could chat with Lissa and she sometimes went into Quilla’s room before Quilla pushed her out and admonished her by saying, “Secret meetings!”

The movie was easily the best offering of any we’d challenged before, so that kept the riffing to a minimum. Later on, Allison crept back towards me once I’d shared my banter with Lissa and she’d started to rest her eyes begrudgingly with little flutters to keep them awake. I felt so happy right there despite the unknowns of the device on my leg. Just sitting there as a symbol of what I saw as the beauty of the Kinrae, no matter their name, with Allison happy beside me and Lissa at ease on the other side.

I knew I could never have it all but, in that moment, it was good. Lissa agreed to come with us to Kinraetown at an indeterminate point after the book date and any class fallout from what we knew. I didn’t ask either of them to come with me to the places where the living remains of my parents were locked away.

The night passed with little naps and ease. After all the turbulence in the days of late, it was nice to know ease and comfort with a nice movie.

After Allison’s gift of food found its little space in the fridge, we parted from Lissa with embraces and chuckles before I drove Allison back to the house.

The days followed in similar calm. The herbs grew. Clayton only caused one small fire. Malcolm stared at my device a few times. And I received no reply from my professor through the weekend. And it was at the end of that weekend the book date finally came. 

It was after a happy morning in Allison’s room when he noted a special music night at the bookstore in the next city over. I pressed up against him with my bare, colorful body enveloping his warmth as I brushed back my blue hair.

We hadn’t gone far with me as an anime girl and Allison as a boy but he had been gentle and the moments were special. It was late evening by the time we got dressed and headed out. 

We switched for the bookstore. Allison had picked out a dark green dress that covered enough of her legs to deal with the mild weather and the after sunset breeze along with a light jacket in case it got colder. I liked it a lot even though I still had anxiety about any color which came close to the one Tessa was associated with. 

The trip was only about thirty minutes on the freeway with the restaurant next to a mall. It wasn’t anything fancy but I had on a collared shirt and some decent pants to pair with Allison. Comfortable enough for casual book browsing later. 

Of course, the entire parking lot was already filled up but we found a spot a ways over. The wait itself wasn’t too bad, especially with the company.

Allison told a story of her brothers and camping. 

“…I say if you’re going to a mountain lake, never rent a cabin. I mean camping is somewhere between a lot of fun and the most-horrifying experience of your life. It’s like imagining the zombies have taken over and you must survive. But this place was really secluded and kinda crappy. Things went bad right from starting a fire in the fireplace. Smoke kept flowing back into the cabin so my eye doctor brother had to find a ladder in the creepy, dark basement. He only went in there once and then came running out with the ladder, screaming all sorts of profanities about, ‘There’s an evil midget bastard down there!’. So my other brothers give him shit about that when they go down and find it’s just a dead raccoon. 

“They tossed it at him several times. He still has the nickname ‘midget bastard’, even though he’s over six feet easily. So, he gets the ladder on the side of the cabin and he’s still cursing and claiming he’s gonna die because the roof is not in the best condition. He picks all sorts of packed tree bits and junk out of the chimney and finally, we can start a fire. But that takes forever too because my brothers want to do it the caveman way. After about an hour, they just use their cigarette lighters. They totally lie to this day they can start a fire by rubbing sticks together. 

“We all get bummed when it turns out fitness trainer brother forgot the smores and all the little snacks we were gonna toast up. He’s real organized sometimes but the problem is he will organize everything into one box perfectly and have the box ready and head out…and he forgets the entire box. Which is what happened…”

I leaned back and just listened to Allison's words. She gave little giggles and moved her arms a lot as she told her story, making brushing motions for clearing out the chimney. 

“So they’re arranging the wood for the fire when out crawls this snake and it finds a toasty corner to relax in. My brothers go nuts. We all find out which of us as the best, most high-pitched girly scream. Turns out it’s not me. Another thing never to be forgotten but it’s kinda between brothers so you’ll just have to guess. So anyway, with this new reptile guest, my brothers are all running around the main room looking for like a sword to decapitate the snake with or a crossbow…all things they suggested. There’s nothing. One of them wants to throw a bed at it. It’s then that I provide the cooler head by saying it looks like a milk snake. But they don’t hear me because it’s starting to move and half of them make base camp down the hall and the other half run out the door and to the dock on the lake. I go to pick it up and it’s the most chill snake I’ve ever seen. It just hangs there like a sleepy little kid. It settles into my lap and naps. Lovely colors, almost like anime colors. If I ever get turned into some sort of anime girl, if the conquest theory is right, then I totally want to be a snake anime girl. I mean it makes sense. Wide, weird eyes, and soft, glossy skin. And that’s kinda all…but still!”

I pondered her thought. I couldn’t imagine anime girls and snakes going together but I gave her a thoughtful expression. We only had a few people ahead of us.

She continued, “So, once I’ve totally out-manly-ed my brothers by sitting back and chilling with this snake, we finally get things settled and it’s a pretty nice day. One of the people who maintain the cabins stopped over and took the snake off our hands. He played with it and then released it quite a ways away. My brothers told really gloating stories about things they’d done, trying to get some pride back. 

“Then, suddenly, we get another scare. Do you remember those scary dinosaur movies back a long time ago? The raptors from that. It sounded honestly like the cry of one of those things. I leapt as well. So my biggest brothers grabbed for a blanket and a big stick they’d gotten during the little snake adventure and went in search of the source of the noise. It sounded like it was coming from the bathroom but, honestly, it could’ve been anywhere. They advance on the bathroom and this two-legged beast goes tearing across the hall like…some of my brothers say demon, some say wolf..... and it’s shaded by the fire so that it looks dark and ominous. I knew what it was right off: A really pissed-off wild turkey. It charged and chased us and this time I wasn’t going to stick around. It made the weirdest sounds. My brothers started wailing on it with their stick and…blanket…but it was a futile battle…”

I was really getting into it and hoped we wouldn’t be called so soon it cut the flow of Allison’s story short. She kept the same pace.

“So all hope is lost. We’re forced into the kitchen and this is where it turns crazy. The door is open…I think someone left it open or just pulled it open in the chaos of the turkey showing up but there’s this snake that hurries right through the door like lightning and goes right for the turkey. It almost sails through the air according to some versions my brothers told later but I think it just moved really fast. So it goes right for the turkey and bites it. Feathers and animals were flying so that I can’t be sure it’s the same snake as they released down the way but it looks similar. The turkey trips and fumbles and I know it’s about to get the upper hand on the snake because turkeys are insane and can kill snakes. But my one brother swings the branch he has with all his might and slams the turkey into the ground.”

She clapped her hands at the climactic part and puffed a breath. 

“The turkey was dead on impact. The snake looked beat up but survived. And I swear…it may have been a simple, non-venomous snake but that snake was a hero. And it looked like the same darn snake. I couldn’t say it was the same one but it looked just like it. It even curled up with me in the same way. So…who knows but I like to believe. After that, we ran out of all the excitement that trip could possibly have and it was kinda boring. But we had a great story.”

I shook my head and smiled. The ending came just at the right time as we were finally taken to a booth. It was in a secluded corner of the restaurant without any other tables nearby. I figured we might easily be forgotten by the servers but Allison had a fun idea as she sat next to me on the same side of the booth. 

We looked over our menus and accepted a couple of sodas from the server, then Allison snuck under the table and changed into boy-mode when no one was looking. When our server came back a minute later, she seemed to pause and note the androgynous boy in a green dress who was sitting next to me instead of a girl. I didn’t react. She gestured with a finger, and rubbed at her eyes under her glasses before asking us if we were ready. I said to Allison, announcing her name, “You want to split an appetizer?”

He pondered and the server offered to come back in a minute if we needed time. Allison didn’t duck under immediately, which was wise because the server doubled back to give us a long look before heading off again. When she returned, Allison had returned to female form (although a little woozy from the quick back and forth). The server gave her a long stare and asked for the order. We gave it and passed her the menus. Before she left, she pursed her lips slightly and glanced between the two of us. She asked, “Is there anyone else in your party?”

We snuggled up and told her it was just the two of us. She didn’t seem to buy that. When she was away, Allison lamented that we hadn’t brought the device or any changes of clothes. 

We gave it a few more rounds as salads were served followed by some nice pasta dishes before Allison finally offered her, “My weirdo twin brother has been around in a dress like mine. How embarrassing, huh? You didn’t happen to see him, did you?”

A light flashed in the server’s eyes but I could see she had so many questions. However, she just shrugged and told us, “I have no idea. It’s been a busy night.” Sadly, that was all the closure we could give her without exposing Allison. Other than that silliness, dinner was uneventful. We wound up splitting a squid appetizer as Allison played with the tentacles. She also asked for some bits of spices to make the salad more to her taste. And she managed to find an entrée which wasn’t quite so salty as mine. We traded bits and she made mine better with what seemed like culinary magic. 

Our frazzled server earned herself a decent tip, especially for the free parfait dessert. We walked out the side door and enjoyed the outdoor mall a little before we continued on to the bookstore. It was easily the nicest one in the area and one of the biggest bookstores which hadn’t closed. Allison marveled at it as we went inside. 

It wasn’t as nicely-arranged as it had been in years past. Before, it had been nothing but books on every inch of its shelves. But the books had retreated to make space for a tablet display area and little trinkets and toys and board games and stuffed animals and all sorts of things which weren’t books. The music from the coffee shop area was lovely though. But Allison was here for the books.

She went for the new releases first, browsing a little pamphlet with notable titles. I clung around her but, with a kind smile, she told me, “Go browse where you like, sweetie.”

I took her advice but I didn’t roam far because I wanted to see what kind of books Allison liked, to give me ideas for future gifts. She didn’t seem to focus on any in particular, although she did flip through a cooking book towards the front. I tried to be inconspicuous but she soon passed by me, stuck her tongue out, and whispered, “Stalker Kinrae…”

Eventually, I found my own places with books I liked. I had to fight through lots of little toys and things but the areas were all there, though compressed. Some of my happiest times were when I could come to the bookstore. My mom would open math books and drink coffee and largely leave me alone. Same went for libraries but she often loomed around. Dad would sometimes come along too but he always started fights.

I thought about what Tessa had said. I needed to face them. On some level, it wasn’t an idea I rejected. I did need to say things to them but I knew it was too late for my father to understand any of it and the same was probably true of my mother, who would only hear what she wished. I didn’t want to go alone. But I didn’t want to subject Allison to that thing and all it would say to her. I knew she could handle it but I didn’t want her to experience it. 

I sighed and sifted through manga. There were times when I could be all over books with the thoughts and feelings they gave me, especially mangas. But they just washed over me. I sifted through supernatural stories and books about underworld characters with a range of moralities. I picked up slice-of-life books with their odd proportions and wide, watercolor eyes. I glanced through the bright tones of comedic works. Ultimately, I sought out non-fiction. Well, nearly non-fiction.

The books with theories about the ‘Kinrae’ and all they might be up to. I read about fluctuations in video feeds as evidence of invisible presences standing behind Kinrae here and there. Mottled, grainy footage with areas highlighted and features made of noise. I could see invisible faces, primed by the suggestion, but logically I knew this was not the answer. 

But then what could be said of what I’d already heard from Tessa (if I took it all as truth)? A lot of it was likely lingering in the margins of these books as the sorts of ideas these writers didn’t even consider.

I stuck to science fiction for the rest of the time. When Allison caught up to me, she hefted three things. One was a fiction book series I’d never heard of before but which she touted with joy. Another was a new bunny plushie for her set. This one moved slightly and vibrated like it was shivering and breathing through the use of a battery. And the last thing was a magazine of recipe ideas. I wasn’t particularly surprised by any of them.

I took them and told her, with a smile, “My treat.” She poked me and noted, “I got treated last time. This time…I will only let you go reverse Dutch. We each pay for the other’s purchases. After all, you paid for supper.”

After some more poking, I finally conceded to buying a few books I’d wanted to own for a while (classics mostly) which almost matched what Allison wanted to buy. After that, it was unequivocally Allison’s treat for frogurt before we headed back. She piled on little red Swedish fish along with chocolate drizzle atop the apple flavor. I kept to my usual chocolate and some peanut butter bits. 

Unlike our last frogurt trip, Allison scooted her chair close to me and laughed constantly when recounting all the quirkiest books she’d noticed before getting into the silly bits of the book series she was reading. I put my arm around her. It was a beautiful end to the evening. 

Not to say we didn’t have fun later. Male Allison even teased out the girl in me for a while before bed. And we slept in each other’s arms.

The next days flowed like water as the local drought gave way to small but appreciated rain. This also helped the herbs and led to me and Allison clinging together under an umbrella. We learned more about and even met Daniel. He was as friendly a person as anyone could ask to know. He lifted me up in a bear hug, which was surprising in both male and anime girl form.

Disappointment came when the professor finally got back to me with an answer to my concerns. She told me to direct them to Tessa. I had to resist smacking my face. My questions about the sincerity of the Kinrae were also rebuffed. She then seemed to suggest I might do better in a different kind of course. Dropping the class was an option dwindling down to days without a penalty on my records. I tried to put my concerns into a form that sounded as equitable as possible. But it was my word against everything my professor was certain of and I could see why she wasn’t interested in what she saw as simply my opinion. 

I didn’t hold it against Professor Brandt, although I was irked when she dropped my paper down to a B minus for trying to express these concerns as subtly as possible within the paper. I even cited Tessa as anonymously as possible. Lissa got similarly dinged.

After that frustration fest, our schedules finally aligned so that we were all able to catch a train at the end of the week. Quilla spent the evening with her dad.

Allison and Lissa both brought trivia books for the trip. They thrashed me at theater and movie trivia at the same time but it made the journey pleasant. We cut across hilly terrain and brown shrubs and slipped beside quarries and man-made lakes. Around dense, master-planned cities and townships where horses trotted along. Somehow, as we went, I couldn’t help but feel we were approaching something more than just Kinraetown, but I wasn’t sure what. 

The main station stop was impressive with its wooden cross-beams in the waiting area, marble-arched junctions between tracks, and vast windows as light streamed through on all sides. Once out, Allison had to consult her phone for directions. We would walk the rest of the way past the older enclaves. This area had been a host to so many different cultures from far off lands which had come to settle. We went past one of the oldest firehouses in the state and watched a tribal dance in a vast courtyard.

It seemed a shame to let the experience become like tides of water all mixing together and flowing over us but we had a destination. It took three blocks of walking. We turned the other direction from Chinatown and towards a district with brightly-painted houses and a style that laid claim to no human culture, while resembling many of them. 

Allison put on her most noir-like expression and uttered the breathy comment, “Forget it, Sean….it’s Anime Girl Town…” 

We laughed.