Having Roxolane come out first proved to be a good decision. Her folks obviously spread the word, but they just as obviously did not grasp the true size of my zeppelin from verbal description alone. So while no one is pointing pikes in my direction on this side of the river, there is quite a lot of commotion and awestruck gawking. I hope someone had the presence of mind to talk to villagers from the other shore, tho. Otherwise, it might get awkward. Then again, it will take them a while to actually band together and come over - enough time for someone to realize there is a notable lack of distress where I actually landed.

 

When we all come out, Roxolane is already hugging it out with her mother, while the rest of her family surrounds them. Even though having phone talks took the edge off, her mother is still making abundant tears happen. I'm guessing she's the emotional type. They look like they'll be a while, so I divert my attention elsewhere. Namely, at the man with a mustache that immediately identifies him as Taras to me. Thankfully, his last name is not Shevchenko, mustache notwithstanding.

 

Much to my surprise, everyone with me knows Krainian to some degree. Cy for obvious reasons, she gets it from me. Roxolane for different, but equally obvious reasons. Moon Unit apparently speaks a bunch of languages fluently, including Kraut, Pharosian, Krainian and Orkish. Lily-Anne was a surprise, however. As it turns out, it is considered to be extremely uncouth to KNOW Orkish in Champagne aristocratic circles. So families that for one reason or another believe they might be forced to have discussions with orks tend to learn Krainian as a less socially awkward option. Bridgit... knows a smattering from her traveling times with her merchant dad, but she is the least fluent of all of us. Katherine, amusingly enough, is the direct opposite to Lily-Anne in that regard. She speaks Orkish fluently but tends to stumble with Krainian.

 

"Good day, pan Taras." - I greet him neutrally - "Glad to meet you in person. I'm Alyssa, as you have probably guessed."

 

He offers a bow. And then his brother offers a bow. And then boys also bow. And then the whole fucking village follows suit. Shit.

 

"Thank you, but please never do this again. A simple hello would be sufficient." - I remark wryly - "I shudder to think what you might feel compelled to do if I mention I brought literal princesses with me."

 

"Ah... Er... Beg your pardon, milady, but did you really...?" - he trails off uncertainly, eyeing my coterie one by one. I sigh.

 

"Introductions it is, then." - I retort simply - "Everyone, I am Alyssa Gillespie, firstborn and the only daughter of Duke Gillespie of Champagne. Pleased to meet you all. With me are, in no particular order, my wife Roxolane, whom you are all familiar with, my wife Moon Unit, who happens to be an elf, my wife Bridgit Baumhoff, who was my maid and companion for most of my life and my wife Lily-Anne Nortrop-Kullen, the princess of Champagne."

 

I pause to ruffle Cy's hair, then continue - "This is Cy Gillespie, my daughter. And finally, this is Katherine Hohenzollern, the princess of Kraut. She is not a part of my harem and is simply accompanying us as a friend."

 

The crowd collectively swoons and falls apart. About half of them bow again, the rest split between kneeling, trying to curtsey and just plain gawking in stupor. I do overhear one particularly shrill and disbelieving - "Dinky Lana married into royalty!?" from the back of the crowd. Guess Roxolane had her own rivals. Heh.

 

"Shush, it's fine, mom. It's all fine." - aaand Roxolane apparently never thought it prudent to mention to her family that yes, one of the haremettes she rooms with is a literal princess. Thankfully Lily-Anne and Katherine both back me up fully on the 'please don't kneel and bow all the time, we'll never get anything done if you do'.

 

___

 

"...Can't believe this happened." - Alena is still having troubles, I see.

 

"Better get used to it, I tend to average six unbelievable things before breakfast." - I jest in response. I'm mangling the quotes, but who's gonna call me out on it anyway?

 

"Pani Gillespie." - huh, Taras is using his "diplomatically firm" voice, if I understand this right - "I do believe we do need to have a long-overdue talk."

 

"Fair enough." - I shrug - "Say, do you do the whole land ownership here, or it's more along the lines of claim as much as you can use? And if first, who owns the river delta and are they interested in selling?"

 

"Apologies, what?" - he returns, blinking - "The, uh, mouth of the river? A dangerous place, people got carried out into the sea before. No one lives there."

 

"So... If I claim the place and build a port there, no one will mind?" - I clarify - "I figure putting down something useful for me and useful for you might be a decent bride price. You do the bride price here, right? Roxy said you do."

 

"I... we... what?" - he hems.

 

"Port. With the accompanying town, I guess, and a bunch of employment options for the people who have wanderlust or just aren't fond of farming." - I repeat - "You have wares, I have ships and shops. Sounds like an obvious deal to me."

 

"...Uh... what?" - yeah, I'mma give him a moment, I guess.

 

___

 

Apparently, I am moving WAY too fast, but after some mediation by exasperated Roxolane and bemused Moon Unit, we do manage to hash out an agreement about the port. And clarify that no, the trinkets that I sent with Ivan were just that - trinkets. As it turns out, my assumptions about the value of ripple steel are off by at least an order of magnitude in Kraina. To hear them say it, dwarves never bothered to actually export the stuff, so the only way to get some was to stock up on gold and make a trip to Azul Tal. Or buy second-hand for mindboggling sums. Or rob someone owning some, which happened more often than I realized. Thankfully, brand new items are less notorious in that way than some of the infamous heirlooms. To hear Vasil talk about it, a certain sword was practically legendary both for availing the current owner an unprecedented fighting ability and for passing from hands to hands via spilled blood.

 

We do reach an agreement to travel out there tomorrow - which will double as an amusement ride on the airship for Roxolane's family. The boys are... very excited about that. The day after that, Taras mentioned there will be some assorted elders visiting from the surrounding villages for introductions. Not sure why I need to be introduced, to be honest. They all act like it's self-evident and Moon Unit just smirked when I asked her. Here's hoping they are not under any delusions about making me earn their permission or anything. Right now, however, I am to hang out with the "youths", which means everyone from ten to twenty-five. Well, not just me, all of my harem. Cy had vanished in the gardens along with Roxolane's kid brothers and a whole gaggle of assorted children. They all collectively go gaga over her casual use of magic and the chaos she tends to make with it. And, if I am hearing it right, Cy is regaling everyone her own age with the big old 'My mommy is the chaos undivided!'. Joy fucking joy.

 

Personally, I have only one goal for the evening - find out who called Roxolane 'dinky' and make them regret not being born mute. But I'm sure there will be all sorts of random things popping up, if I am interpreting the looks right.

 

___

 

Sooo... Apparently, a fist fight is one of the more common entertainments for the youth. Reasonably organized, too, while we are at it. Two are beating each other, everyone else watches in the circle. Getting knocked down or falling over counts as losing, someone else comes out to challenge the winner. The person who remains on their feet past sundown is "zavodila" for the evening. Which means the guy who did that has the first dibs to ask out any girl present. Non-binding, thankfully, because I would likely punch the head off anyone trying that with my wives. Roxolane explains that technically speaking, all five of us are off-limits... unless. Unless I decide to step up and do something silly.

 

But right now, I have a different silliness on my mind. I do remember the voice pretty well, and tracking that particular shrilling note is easier than I assumed it would be, mainly because the owner of it just.. WILL. NOT. SHUT. UP! Goodness gracious, she just can not stop gossiping. In about FIVE fucking minutes I find out that apparently Roxolane probably "brewed something", that Bridgit "has the courtesan look", that Moon Unit is "elves, what do you expect" and that Lily-Anne is "poor dear, getting caught between all them predators". I am rather curious as to what exactly are they going to say about ME, when... I notice that things are getting silent. Including our gossip. Whoops. I guess they noticed me paying attention. ...Why is everyone backing away?

 

...Oh. Roxy comes over to shush at me, because apparently I dragoned up. The rest of my wives trickle over right after, Bridgit prompting yet another quiet backing away when she pops next to me via her bullshit quantum teleportation. Still no idea how she got that particular power, I mean I can see how it works and can probably recreate the effect with a bunch of spells and preparations, but the way it's just inherently her nature now is... uh. Curiouser and curiouser.