With our course towards 433 Eros locked in, Miette switched off the comms and looked right at me.

“Hey.”

Oh no. I know that tone of voice. She’s worried about me.

“I-I’m fine!” I said, trying to preempt her.

“Really now?” she asked suspiciously.

“Really! The captain told me to do my job, and I will!” I said.

“Sveta…” Teles began, her tone the same as Miette’s.

“Not you too! I’m really fine! I’m… okay…”

Miette’s eyes were locked onto me. They were like green searchlights peering into my soul. “I can tell when you’re lying, you know.”

There’s no dissuading her…

“It’s… just…” I said slowly.

“Yeah?” Miette said gently.

“I FEEL SO PATHETIC!” I wailed as the floodgates opened. “When I saw all those people die and thought Teles was going to die too, I completely freaked out! I lost control of myself! If you hadn’t snapped me back to my senses, I would have been a useless panicky wreck. Everyone around me is so strong, even in the face of all that death. You, Teles, Laria, the captain, everyone else in the squad… you all keep fighting as if nothing happened! How can everything we just saw leave you completely unaffected? Why am I so weak? Why am I so pathetic? Why can’t I handle this?”

“It’s not like I’m unaffected.” Teles interjected. “Of course I’m sad most of my crew died. It’s just… I need to compartmentalize it. There’s so much death around us all the time that we’re all numb to it.”

Miette nodded. “Sveta, have you ever heard the expression ‘One death is a tragedy, but a million deaths is a statistic?’”

I nodded.

“Well, what do you suppose that makes a billion deaths? Background radiation? What you just saw is like the background radiation of our lives. It doesn’t mean we’re not sad about it, or mourning the losses of our comrades, just that we’re USED to it. Maybe we’re all just traumatized to the point of insensitivity. But, if I’m being completely honest… the first time I saw one of my comrades die, back when I was still fresh out of the academy, I bawled my eyes out for three days.”

“Y-You did?”

“Oh, yeah. I practically overloaded the ship’s water recycling system with my snot. Compared to what a blubbering mess I was back then, I’d say you’re handling this very well.” She smiled at me. “Everyone here has been fighting for years and years, and you’ve been with us for only a few weeks. Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

“And don’t bottle it up inside, either.” Teles added, gently stroking my arm. “We’ll have a funeral service for the lost once we get everything squared away on 433 Eros. That will be the time to grieve and honor their memory.”

“Right… I-I…” I wasn’t sure what to say.

“And one final thing, Sveta. You’re NOT weak.” Miette said. “Don’t forget, you saved Genevi’s life and blew up THREE Sarcophage cruisers with those crazy tactics of yours. But more importantly, your upbeat attitude has brought a lot of joy to everyone’s lives. It’s easy for us all to get dragged down by the weight of, well… everything. That’s why the joy you bring is so valuable to us. Hell, I’d even call it indispensable.”

“Yeah!” Teles added. “Like those goofy idol poses you showed me!”

“Or befriending Laria and melting her icy heart.” Miette added. “Or your silly floral paintjob!”

“H-Hey!” I said, feeling my cheer slowly returning. “My paintjob isn’t silly!”

“Is too.” Miette stuck out her tongue. “Flowers are WAY too sappy! You shoulda gone with something cool, like a flaming skull.”

“That’s just gauche! I may be a giant robot, but I’m also a girl! And girls need to look pretty!” I said, puffing up my cheeks.

We both stared at each other for a moment, then burst out laughing. It felt good to laugh.

Once again you’ve dragged me out of the doldrums, my dear pilot. You always make me so happy, always protect me from my own shortcomings and doubts.

That’s why I love you.

*****

433 Eros was shaped like a 17-kilometer-long grey peanut. It was currently surrounded by an energy shield bubble that glowed blue with Cherenkov radiation.

“Sveta, open comms please.” Miette said.

“Aye-aye! Audiovisual channels open!”

“This is 2^nd Lieutenant Miette Levesque of the SGFC Radiolaria. 433 Eros Actual, please respond.”

There was no response but static. “Could the shield be blocking transmission?” I asked.

“No, they have special antennas that can send and receive through it.” Miette replied before resuming the transmission. “433 Eros Actual, please respond.”

Once again, there was no answer. Miette looked pissed off. “She’s being difficult again, I see… Hahahaha! You’ll rue the day you underestimated me, you damned lion girl!” Her eyes glinted with a dangerous light.

“Miette, are you okay?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I anticipated this. Zehra has a difficult personality, but I know how to handle her.” Miette responded.

She opened comms once more. “Oy, Zehra, I know you can hear me. Quit being coy and respond already.”

“…gao~n!” answered a high-pitched, perky voice. The transmission was audio-only.

“Gotcha, you little brat.” Miette said, grinning.

“How rude, gao~n! I may be tiny, but I’m not a brat!” The voice sounded like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

“Bullshit. You’re a brat and you know it. GAO~N.” Miette responded, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Ahahaha, mocking me now? You’re always so much fun, Miette! What brings you to see little old me, gao~n?”

JUST WHAT KIND OF WEIRD DYNAMIC DO THESE TWO HAVE?! BOTH MY PILOT AND MY MOTHER ARE WEIRDOES!

“I seem to be inextricably linked to one of your wayward daughters.” Miette said, casting a glance at me. “I’m here to introduce Sveta to her bratty mother.”

“Hoooo~? Miette, you always did bring me the most interesting things, gao~n!”

“We need landing bay and decontamination. Lower the shield please.”

“Hmm. What’s in it for me, gao~n!”

You weren’t joking when you said she has a difficult personality. Will a pair of cat ears really be enough to get through to her?

“Two things.” Miette responded matter-of-factly. “First, we have an intact Beelzebub exoskeleton drifting out there.”

“W-W-WHAAAAT? INTACT? HOW DID YOU EVEN DO THAT?!”

And just like that, Zehra’s speech tic had completely vanished. Because she’s surprised, maybe?

“Trade secret.” Miette responded smugly. “It’s all yours to study and dissect, if you cooperate.”

“Nnnnfff… you’re twisting my arm awfully hard, gao~n…”

Oh, it’s back again…

“Second,” Miette continued, “I have a bottle of vodka stashed away in my cockpit. REAL vodka, not that synthetic stuff.”

“I’M LOWERING THE SHIELD RIGHT AWAY! I’LL MEET YOU IN THE HANGER WITH A BUCKET OF ICE!”

Once again the gao~n has vanished. Is vodka truly that powerful?! I thought in amazement.

“Good brat.” Miette said. “See you soon, Zehra.”

Miette cut the comms, and Zehra cut the shields. As Miette steered me towards the nearest hanger bay, she cast a concerned glance my way.

“Oy, Sveta. You probably got a good idea from that chat, but Zehra is an absolute handful.”

“Y-Yeah, I noticed…” I responded hesitantly. “That was an eye-opening first impression.”

“If you give her an inch, she’ll take a kilometer. Set your boundaries and don’t let her breach them. I’ll back you up, so don’t be intimidated, okay?” She flashed a confident grin.

“R-Right. Well, I doubt I’ll make a good first impression either…” I said hesitantly.

“What do you mean?” Miette tilted her head quizzically.

“Well… I’m going to meet my mother while COMPLETELY COVERED IN BUG GUTS!” I wailed.