“Sveta and Miette, you are cleared for launch. On behalf of all the souls aboard 433 Eros, this humble AI Tektite-2 prays for your glory in battle.” The cute green-haired AI, projected in my cockpit via video chat, saluted sharply. I returned their salute, and Miette guided me into the electromagnetic launch tube.

I wondered briefly at the origin of that expression. It was standard procedure for AIs to send off their human compatriots to the battlefield with a prayer for their glory. It was even included in my standard scripted dialogue options. Who were we praying to, exactly? Just our own squadron included Catholics, Muslims and agnostics; add in the crews of our two ships and the population of Eros, and nearly every human religion was represented. Perhaps it was simply a call to pray to whatever god one believed in, or to the whims of fate. Whatever the case, it was a nice sentiment.

Today’s sortie was against yet another Sarcophage attack force; no cruiser included, just another mixed bag of Frame-class units. The Sarcophage seemed to be probing us, testing our combat capabilities and figuring out what force compositions were most effective. We’d had some harrowing battles over the past weeks, and the attrition had whittled down our number of active Gravity Frames, but now we had a new surprise for them; six shiny new Velocipedes, so fresh from the factory they still had that new car smell. The Velocipedes were a huge leap over our old units; even a Huntsmark couldn’t hold a candle to them.

I felt a sharp pang of jealousy as the battle raged. My new Frame was still under construction, to be ready in four days. As I was still stuck in an old Nighthawk, several generations behind at this point, Maurice had us stay back and primarily focus on CIC operations while the spiffy new Frames took care of the enemy. I didn’t even get a chance to use any Impact Fins, since the incredible performance of the Velocipedes easily outclassed even the Bladebugs.

To borrow an expression, I was warming my butt in the bullpen, and this game was NOT going into extra innings.

Miette seemed frustrated too. She kept tapping her finger impatiently against my throttle, clearly raring to charge into battle. For a hothead like her, being sidelined was intolerable. The mood was sour, and I wasn’t quite sure what to say, but I had to say SOMETHING.

“Uh…” I began. “Those Velocipedes are pretty impressive, huh?”

“Yup.” A terse response.

“Z-Zehra tells me my new Frame will be even better!”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Uh, you know, we h-haven’t decided on a name for the model yet…”

“Hmm?” A slight increase in the pitch of her voice indicated she was growing more engaged in the conversation. I kept pushing.

“I-I was hoping you’d name the new model.”

Miette took one eye off the battle and looked at me. “Huh? Why?”

“It just seems right. You’re the one who originally named me, after all!” I flashed her a big smile.

“That’s true. Hmm…” She seemed to be deep in thought. A minute passed.

“Uh…” I piped up.

“Don’t rush me!” she declared. “Naming a whole new model of Gravity Frame is an important decision! I’m gonna need some time to think about it.”

I wasn’t going to rush her; I was simply glad her mind had been taken off the battle. The improvement in her mood was my true goal. “Well, you have four days until it’s ready, so think it over as much as you like, okay? Pick the coolest name you can think of!”

“Pfft. Roger that, Sveta.” She gave me a mock salute.

Three minutes later, the battle was over. We began mopping up.

*****

“No WAY! You two are seeing each other again?!”

As we scoured the combat zone for stragglers, I expressed shock at what Genevi had just told me. She had apparently hooked up with her old Academy girlfriend, Monica.

“Ehehehe, well. Even after all this time, there’s still something there…” Genevi said bashfully.

“Weren’t you dating a LIDAR tech or something?” Maurice asked with one eyebrow raised.

“Oh, we broke up two weeks ago. Our tastes in food didn’t align.”

“Your tastes in FOOD?! We all eat the same plankton slurry!” Maurice said in mild exasperation. Genevi seemed taken aback by his tone.

“I-It’s a matter of preparation, okay? She kept dousing hers in capsicum extract! I just can’t date someone who takes the Scoville scale so seriously!”

Maurice shook his head. “So, let me get this straight. You broke up with her over an argument over… spicy food?”

“Uh…” Genevi looked guilty.

Bingo! I thought.

Sabina jumped in. “Now you see how hopeless my sister is in matters of romance. She’s too damn picky.” Her voice was filled with pity, and the rest of us nodded in understanding. “That’s honestly why her and Monica are perfect for each other. They’re both complete idiots.”

“Sister! That’s so MEEEAAANNNN!” Genevi wailed. Everyone except her laughed, and she puffed out her cheeks in indignation.

“Anyway,” Sabina continued, “the two of them constantly wrote sappy letters to each other even when they were deployed separately. The flame only flickered, never died.” She smiled mischievously. “Speaking of, how is YOUR love life going, Miette?”

“Huh? My what now?” The red-headed black hole sucked in that question past her event horizon, a boundary not even light could escape. I answered in her stead.

“We’re BOTH looking forward to a lovely Christmas Festival.” I said firmly, resisting the urge to wink.

“I see, I see.” Genevi gave a nod of smug satisfaction. “Best of luck to you, Sveta. On behalf of our squadron, I pray for your glory in battle.”

“Pfft.” I scoffed. “I thank you for your prayers. Soon my long, dark struggle will be concluded. I will accept no other outcome but victory.”

“What the HELL are you two talking about?!” Miette was, as usual, completely lost. None of us felt the need to explain, at least… not yet. The time would come soon enough.

Just you wait, my precious pilot. Against the perfect romantic backdrop, I will make my feelings so clear even YOU will notice them. Light may not be able to escape a black hole, but love definitely can!

*****

After we returned to Eros, Laria told me about her successful confession to Captain Savitskaya. She was bubbling with happiness, and it was infectious. For my part, I felt admiration for her. Laria was strong, far stronger than me, and had the resolve to state her feelings directly and openly. Her long friendship with the Captain probably helped matters as well, not to mention the Captain’s own intelligence and social skills.

For her part, Laria credited me with helping her to be more open about her feelings, and pushing her to obtain a Doll body. I thought she was being too kind. Sometimes, all we need is a nudge in the right direction. I had given her that nudge, but it was her own strength that carried her over the finish line.

Now two of my friends had recently ignited successful relationships. Maybe it was the Christmas spirit or something like that that sparked so much romance. I wondered, half in jest, if I should push Zehra and Vicky to hook up. Their relationship was mostly antagonistic, but it seemed more like friendly teasing than outright hostility. However, despite her love of dressing Vicky in all manner of revealing outfits, I couldn’t imagine Zehra in a lovey-dovey romance. It just didn’t suit her image.

Maybe Vicky and Teles were a better choice? I’m pretty sure they hated each other’s guts, but it could be a nice rivals-to-lovers plotline. I could just imagine it now: Teles holding a sword to Vicky’s throat, ready to execute her for high treason. A tearful confession, a kiss, a quest for vengeance…

Wait one moment. How come I’m always pairing up girls with other girls?

Oh… oh my god. I’ve turned into a shipper!!

*****

Four days later, my brand spanking new Gravity Frame was finally complete; the last seam welded, the last bolt screwed in. I stared up in awe at the gorgeous, beautiful, POWERFUL body that awaited me.

I had contributed significant design input during the construction process. Not every one of my suggestions had been implemented, but my influence loomed large over the final product. The Frame’s body had smooth, contoured lines that reminded me of a beefy muscle car, and it absolutely bristled with powerful weapons. I nearly cried tears of joy… holographic tears, I mean.

I finally got my mid-season upgrade. Now I’m truly an ace! Prepare to meet your maker, Kira Yamato!!

Zehra had followed through on her promise to add a vibrant paintjob to the final product, and hard-coat it so that it would be protected from battle damage and future decontamination procedures. I made concessions to my pilot’s tastes on the paintjob. I didn’t go so far as to base the motif around a flaming skull, as there was no way I’d cosplay Ghost Rider so blatantly. Instead, we settled on a jet-black base coat, embellished with dazzling pink-gold leaves and vines, and white-gold lilies.

I don’t think Miette understood the significance of the lilies, but Zehra certainly did. She teased me mercilessly about it, in fact. She also added sensor clusters on the top of the head that looks suspiciously like cat ears, because my dear mother was nothing if not consistent in her fetishes. Now, for better or worse, I would be a giant catgirl robot emblazoned with lilies. In other words, my new Frame suited me perfectly.

Miette, Zehra, Vicky and myself now floated in the lab, admiring the finished product. The mood was jovial, and Miette had somehow even gotten a bottle of champagne.

“I hope you’re not planning on breaking that against the armor, gao~n!” Zehra said in a worried tone.

“What, can’t the armor take it? I thought this thing was indestructible.” Miette responded.

“Not indestructible, just very resilient to damage, gao~n. But I don’t want to waste a perfectly good bottle of champagne! You must tell me how you always manage to get your hands on such fine alcohol, gao~n!”

“That’s a good question, Miette." I added "Your supply of booze is seemingly bottomless.” It’s times like these that I regret my inability to get drunk.

Miette stuck out her tongue. “No way. Zehra, we each have our talents: you’re a genius of science, and I’m a genius of alcohol. My secrets will never be revealed.”

Vicky rolled her eyes. “Even if you did reveal your secrets, they would be wasted on Mistress. She can’t even tell the difference between champagne and prosecco.”

“THAT’S PROSECCO?!” Zehra and I exclaimed in unison.

Vicky sighed. “Like mother, like daughter. Learn to tell the difference between French and Italian writing, at least...” Zehra looked as if she had been stabbed through the heart.

“There, there.” Miette consoled her. “It will still get you just as pleasantly drunk, so don’t fret.”

“Adrian Carsini is weeping in his cell…” I muttered. Clearly, I had a long way to go before I’d be solving any wine cellar crimes.

“Anyway,” Miette reassured Zehra, “I won’t smash the bottle, don’t worry. We should wait to open it until Sveta's transfer is complete though.”

“YEAH!” Zehra exclaimed. “Sveta, hurry up and copy yourself over so I can get drunk, gao~n!”

I sighed heavily. “I'm feeling weirdly left out, and I wish your motives weren’t so transparently selfish, mom. But fine, I’ll get started.”

I’d have to shut myself down completely for an hour during the transfer process. It was a bit scary, to be honest, as it would be the first time since my reincarnation I would be unconscious. I’d be falling asleep, then waking up in a whole new body. I wondered, offhandedly, if I would dream.

“Oh, just one more thing.” I turned to my pilot. “Miette, did you think up a name for the new model of Gravity Frame?”

“Yeah, I did.” she responded with a huge grin. “I thought up a name that’s absolutely perfect.”

pynkbites

Did you catch those Columbo references at the end there? Here's a hint: they're from the episode "Any Old Port in a Storm."

So, my dear readers, what do YOU think Sveta's new model of Gravity Frame should be named? I'd love to hear your suggestions!