A half hour later I was back in my bathroom, wearing girl's clothes and trying not to hate myself. 

It was kind of working.

"This is okay," I whispered, turning slowly side to side, watching myself in the mirror, "This is... it's okay..."

They were barely girl's clothes. Those stupid pajamas I saw at the store, like, a month ago were still stuck in my head, and I had bought my own set. Not from that store. God, I could only imagine the sick texture of the polyester blend. Not to mention the fact that they were probably made in some sweatshop somewhere. No, I had bought these online from a much higher-end brand, after obsessively double-checking their sizing chart to make sure they would fit. And it was worth the price, for sure. The pure silk was soft and cool against my skin, and the seams were expertly handsewn. And yet something wasn't quite right.

I sighed and plucked at the neckline. It just looked so plain. There was no lace trim, would that have made it better? The set at the store had lace, and it was so cute. I let the fabric go and it settled against my chest, hanging slightly loose. I frowned. If I had boobs...

I leaned towards the mirror and tried to imagine how the camisole top would look with boobs. Better? Surely better. I mean, that's what it was designed for. I held my hands to my chest and tried to push my meagre pecs up into some semblance of cleavage. Ugh, okay. There was the faintest little cleft there and it did look better. But did it look better because I wanted boobs, or just because I liked boobs? My hands slipped, brushing against my nipples through the silk, and I felt a little twinge of arousal. God, last night... I closed my eyes and gently brushed my nipples again, pictruing myself there, Nick's hot cock in my hands, his leg twitching as I licked the tip...

My eyes flashed open. Nick's stupid ass gross hairy leg. That was it. That's why the pajamas weren't working. I grabbed my razor and shaving gel and got to work.

I had never shaved my legs before. I couldn't risk it at home. What if someone noticed? But I would be done with it long before Nick got back from training, and then I just wouldn't wear shorts for a while. Anyway, it turned out shaving my legs was super annoying. but oh my god, was it worth it. I couldn't stop smiling as I finished my left leg. It was so shiny! So smooth, so sleek, so... feminine. Not that women had to shave their legs to be feminine. Not that men couldn't shave their legs and still be just as masculine. Whatever! It looked pretty. I wiggled my toes happily. So pretty!

The right leg went faster, although I had to switch to a new blade halfway through. But once it was done, ugh. I dropped my razor in the sink and stepped back to inspect myself in the mirror. I looked so good! I looked so fucking good!

My legs looked long and smooth and pretty. I leant against the door and looked over my shoulder, admiring the way my slender thighs disappeared up under the hem of my pajama shorts. I adjusted them a bit, settling them around my waist. I grinned. I looked hot, honestly. Smooth and skinny and pretty...

I turned around and my smile faltered as I saw myself front on. No cleavage. And my shoulders were too broad. And my face was... my face. But that was okay, right? I still looked good. I just didn't look like a girl.

"Twink?" I murmured to myself.

Twink was okay. I could be a twink. There was nothing wrong with being a twink. Twinks had fun. Twinks had sex. Twinks had rich and fulfilling lives.

I smiled nervously. I was a twink. I was a twink! That was cool! I liked that!

I heard my front door slam. Ugh! Of fucking course.

"Don't slam the door, asshole!" I yelled.

I heard Nick mutter "God damn it," as he dropped his bag on the floor.

"I thought you had training!" I said.

"I did!" he yelled, "It's not fucking all day long!"

I blinked. I guess I had lost track of time.

"As soon as you're done shitting, I need the bathroom!" yelled Nick.

"Ugh! You're so disgusting!" I said, "I'm not even using the toilet, for your information."

"Then why are you--" I heard Nick approach the door, and I realised, a second too late, that I didn't lock it. I spun around and reached frantically for the doorknob, but I was too slow. Nick burst through the door and stared at me in surprise. I scrambled to cover up but it was too late. His eyes flashed to the sink, still covered in the evidence of my experiments, then to my legs, then up to me.

"Are you fucking shaving your legs?" he laughed.

I scoffed, "No! I'm just... I'm just..."

"Holy shit, you are," he laughed, "You're such a fucking girl."

It felt like he had punched me in the gut. My mouth gaped open and I tried to think of something to say but all that came to mind was actually, I'm a twink, and I couldn't say that.

"What?" sneered Nick, "No snappy retorts?"

I burst into tears, shoved past him, and ran out of the room.

"Hey!" called Nick, "What are you—"

I slammed the front door behind me and took off down the hallway, sobbing pathetically. Fuck! I was such a fucking idiot! Of course I couldn't have one fucking moment where I even tried something new, even tried to feel like myself, for one single second of the day. Not when Nick was around to fucking ruin it.

"Hey!" said someone who I blurrily recognised was Miel, "Do you wanna die in a nuclear war?"

I ducked past the clipboard she thrust out at me and booked it out of the dorms and across the quad.

I left the dorms and ran across the quad. There was an old oak wedged into the corner of two buildings, a little private area where people would go to sneakily smoke weed. But in the middle of the day, no-one would be there, no one except stupid, pathetic, pervert losers. I collapsed behind the tree and hunched up in a ball, still sobbing. There were still remnants of shaving cream on my legs and I swiped it off angrily. Stupid, stupid, so fucking stupid. What if Nick told everyone? What if everyone on campus knew I was a freak? What if my parents found out?

"Nick!" I heard faintly, "Hey! Asshole!"

I peeked out from behind the tree and saw Nick standing outside the entrance to the dorms. I covered my face and screamed into my hands. God! Why couldn't he just fuck off! I looked up and almost screamed for real. He was already halfway across the quad. Stupid fucking runner's legs!

I ducked back behind the tree, wiping tears from.my face, trying to steady myself.

"Hey, Nick, you fucking prick!" I heard him call out, "I'm not your fucking maid, you can't just run off and leave your crap all over the—"

He rounded the tree and saw me. I got on my feet and glared at him defiantly, face red, eyes still stained with tears.

"Fuck. You," I hissed. That's what I should've said the first time.

Nick glared back, "Fuck y... wait. Are you crying?"

I opened my mouth but before I could even say anything my breath caught in my throat and I started full on sobbing again. Fuck! I turned away from Nick and sank back down to the ground. He won. I couldn't even fight back at this point.

For a few seconds, Nick didn't say anything. The only sound was me crying.

"You know," he said, "I don't actually care if you shave your legs. I was just pissed because you were hogging the bathroom when I needed to use it."

Nick's voice still had the tone of being pissed off, but it didn't have any actual rage behind it. I looked up at him and sniffed, wiping away some of my tears.

Nick shifted uncomfortably.

"Lots of guys shave their legs, y'know. For track. For, fucking, aerodynamics," he muttered, "So, fucking, keep doing it. Or whatever."

I glared at him, "Fine. I will."

"Cool! I fucking care!" Nick spat. As I slowly pulled myself together he seemed to get more into the swing of actually being angry, "I guess I'm gonna go shit in the public toilet, so you can clean up the fucking mess you left in my bathroom!"

"It's my bathroom, and I wouldn't have left a mess if you hadn't barged in like a fucking animal!" I yelled back.

"Yeah, well!" Nick threw up his arm, "Fucking! Welcome to the fucking situation! Anyway!" he paused and looked at me. I realised I had run out of the room still just wearing my pajamas. Fuck. Thank god I didn't go for the lace. Besides being a little skimpy these could totally just be men's clothes.

Nick's eyes flickered down to my legs. I shivered. His gaze lingered there. I started to feel self-conscious again. God, what was his fucking problem? Could he tell? Was it weird they were silk? Guys could wear silk! Guys could shave their legs, like he just said! I wasn't doing anything wrong! I was just... just... just out in the middle of the quad, practically naked, crying like a baby, wearing women's clothing.

Oh my god. I hunched back into a ball again. Oh my god, what the hell was I doing?

"Anyway," Nick said suddenly, "You got shaving cream all over my hoodie when you ran off, so, you have to clean it now."

I snapped out of my panic and glared up at him, "What?"

He unzipped his hoodie, using his prosthesis to pin it against his chest while his other hand worked the zip. He shrugged out of it with a practiced motion and tossed it to me. I caught it.

"What the fuck?" I said.

"Just... get all the shaving cream off it," he muttered, "I'm gonna go shit."

He turned and took off across the quad. I stared at him as he moved. Even at a casual jog, he covered so much ground. I sighed and looked at his hoodie. There was not even a speck of shaving cream on it anywhere.

"Fucking asshole," I muttered.

I peeked out from around the tree. College students wandered back and forth across the quad, moving between classes or going for lunch. A couple were looking towards the tree. Probably because of all the yelling.

God damn it.

I put on Nick's hoodie. It was way too big, but that was... actually perfect. It came down almost to my knees, covering up my naked legs. I zipped it up, flipped the hood over my face and took a deep breath. Fuck. It smelled like Nick.

I stalked across the quad, daring anyone to say anything. No one did, they were too busy with their own lives. I made it back to my room unharassed.

All my stuff was still in the bathroom, and I felt a bit guilty when I realised how much of a mess I had made. I cleaned up the shaving cream and leg hair, put my stuff away, and wiped up the water on the bathroom floor with Nick's towel. He was still a dick, after all.

Once I was done, I collapsed on the couch and let out a long sigh. God. Eventful morning. Somehow, I think, I had gotten through it without totally humiliating myself. But god, it was close.

It was only then that I realised I was still wearing Nick's hoodie.