'What the fuck!'

Some may solemnly say. Becoming such a rabid lunatic, unworthy of esteem.

...

'I suck? More like sucked your mom—!'

Some may fervently scream. Damned to the depths of cringe and cancellation.

...

'What the fucking cumsack fucking shit happened here—?!'

Some groan, so purely and so accurately, that the world may quake, should it be heard. Rude and crude, a girth that quakes the world down to its core.

...

It was disappointing.

So underwhelming.

Wasn't it?

It was. Truly—

—truly underwhelming.

You'd expect something—

And you'd get nothing—

And I was just recently born into this cruel world.

Barely a week afterwards.

And it all had to end so quickly.

This mere struggle, barely so long, just had to end—! So suddenly.

This mocking, fruitless battle just had to end, so shortly, so quickly...!

Fruitless, it was.

So shortly, did this passionate delivery of [Evasion] EXP leave my grasp so fruitlessly...

...

Storms of dust fell from the ceiling, as the entirety of the dungeon shuddered.

As Slime's Absolute Zero Saber morphed itself into a strong, mighty schlong; one of its more significant magic circles that operated directly behind the spell slipped itself into the wall above Slime and myself.

The many components of the magic circle then lagged, glitched in and out for a bit, and burst through the surface of the wall, before disintegrating.

"Gwah—!" (EXP Slime)

Immediately, every magic circle that had spawned from Slime's spell disappeared into a little flash of light.

This was a bit of a depressing situation...

I should be going through this great battle against some kind of extreme monster being. The unkillable creature. The Apex Predator. Undefeated until MY arrival. No adventurers, nor any of mankind have ever touched its battleground without becoming one of the fallen. But then I'll be dragging its corpse—in perfect condition, even—into the Adventurers Guild or whatever, surprising the receptionists, and even the S-rankers. Then one foolish adventurer nobleman with combed hair and a devious expression may question this occurrence, and forcefully request a little duel—a bout of sorts. All for naught. Clearly, I'd win, clearly. Very clearly.

But—oh no—alike my EXP—that plot doesn't come in here...

...

Slime leapt back, holding her chest somewhat tightly, as if I did some kind of repulsive counterattack. A commendable display of battle sense.

"Khh—S- So my spell had reached its longitudinal lim..." (EXP Slime)

"..."

"Gyah—! Its n- not going—!" (EXP Slime)

"..."

The humongous Absolute Zero Sabre of a schlong impetuously impaled the ceiling above Slime, as it shifted backwards, in contrast to Slime's intent. The moment it had touched the surface—every wall in the room turned light blue and froze.

Slime was a master within the field of spell arts. Based on certain points of wisdom from generally every relevant isekai, the nigh-unbreakable dungeon wall is effectively destroyed to allow OP MC-san to show off a certain percentage of power. And this dungeon wall effectively does so for Slime.

Honestly amazed...! It's not like I've ever done that before.

The frozen ceiling cracked. Pieces of dungeon rock began to leak. Just one little drop.

Then another one little chunk fell, and from its tip, split into four, five, pieces.

...

Large wedges of slate and dungeon ceiling collapsed to the floor, spreading dust and swaying the grounds.

It was more of a consumable and slower version of the rock-element dungeon traps, like meteor or something. Easy enough to deal with.

I just didn't feel like doing any Full Combos by hand...

[Shapeshift Lv4] + [ロリ✭~変身✭~: DRAGON]

I used my Dragon wings that sprouted from my back to shield myself, as I did some sick moves to shove off the falling debris.

The natural dirt and mud above myself cascaded in response to the dungeon's fall. Remnants of my hard work EXP farming. A final layer of burnt yellow grass, and a herd of rogue slimes followed. More EXP, then. So I killed them off. Barely any more EXP, but still EXP.

The room was now a terrarium, all cheerful and ambient. Housing a reptilian beast creature, and a dangerously overleveled invertebrate...

And before long, a load of fresh, stinky, air let itself unto my face.

Looking upwards, I waved off the dust and dirt that obscured my vision.

And I saw—such a UNIQUE combination of lightness and colors that tw*tter would've been unanimously pleased. The sky was a gradient of flame-like orange and deep forest green.

Though it wasn't so far into the night nor evening, stars of various hues twinkled and blinked past the atmosphere. I stared, exuding pure curiosity. The silence was absolute as I counted the stars. One, two, three—

Four—

Five, six—

Seven—

No way! The stars—shaped like a PEN—!!

—

Slime came into view, staring difficultly at my face.

She seemed to struggle, trying her hardest to keep her eyes latched onto somewhere other than my lower body.

But there wasn't anything unusual.

Was there?

It's not like I have tentacles coming out of my waist, nor do I have any naughty cursed item on my stomach. I have just raw skin and uncooked flesh. And it's not like I'm doing anything all criminal and obscene. It's not like I'm going out unclothed through a broken biome area...

...

The darkened sky rumbled lightly.

The dim clouds were dragged by the wind, traveling in a single collective direction.

Then I exhaled.

"Let's take this somewhere else..."

"Wh- Where—?" (EXP Slime)

"Outside. Up there."

I pointed upwards as I rose to the skies with my expert flight abilities. Flapping my wings.

"Oh. That's... Okay. 'Flight...'" (EXP Slime)

Slime rose to the skies, as well. It was probably flight magic, another essential magician ability of another world.

We stood upright, hovering far above the ground, which was now stowed safely inside the dungeon.

I looked around. Several hundred metres away, was where I first entered the dungeon.

A huge anal cavity in the terrain of the area, surrounded by a mysteriously leveled ground, covered in blackened ashes.

It was truly mysterious that the place was now lifeless. Because I haven't done anything to it, even as I was flying over for a friendly visit.

"Hey Slime."

I approached EXP Slime as we continued to rise.

"—?" (EXP Slime)

"Why were yo*—like—looking around me and talking all weirdly—? Tripping and stuff. You weren't like that at all—when you were doing those spell things."

"E- Eh—?!" (EXP Slime)

Shit...! I think I fucked a word in the ass. By accident. I hope I didn't ruin my nasty, dirty middle aged man Loli tone.

Slime seemed slightly panicked and looked away without noticing my big mistake.

"I- I've just never seen you before..." (EXP Slime)

Yeah I must be quite the riddling existence.

"Yeah, you haven't."

"B- but! It's because of that!! Your aura—!" (EXP Slime)

"Hm—?"

Aura? Isn't this another isekai magic thing? Is that why the dungeon was empty? Did the slimes escape somewhere along the way after feeling up my disgustingly zestful, athletic aura?

"A- And—And you're also n- n- nake—" (EXP Slime)

She finally blushed, for the probably the third time today.

Naked?

No I was absolutely not. What a far-fetched accusation.

But Slime put on an angered expression and intrusively pointed at my face. She somehow gathered her courage to address a terrible responsibility.

"W- Wear something!! Put on some clothes—!" (EXP Slime)

"Heh? I don't have Genitalia... of either gender..."

Slime jumped slightly as I unleashed a strong word.

"...But—Come on, give me some, then—"

I held out my palms and enticingly waved my fingers. I couldn't help but grin. I could never speak with so much draconic energy in my previous life.

"Hand it over. Your clothes."

"I- I don't have any!!" (EXP Slime)

"You're wearing some..."

Its not like Slime's sticky, slimy honkers were exposed after I cracked off her armor.

"B- but—!!" (EXP Slime)

"Strip. Show me those things—! And let me have the clothes~! I'm a vulnerable hatchling Loli, barely 4 days old!! *sniff sniff*"

As I presented my innocently cheerful plea, I tilted my head to the side, looking down in unfeigned distress. Not like I really had to wear anything at all. The naked build—minimal weight, higher speed, and efficient evasion—obviously the best way to go. Now that I don't even have a sword (fruit knife) swinging down there...

"Um—You don't look 4 days old though...!! Humans don't grow that fast!" (EXP Slime)

...

"I have wings though... here—"

Maybe Slime's range of vision was limited with her non-human eyes. So I spun a hot 180°, proving my point.

"T- thats! Just a transformation skill!!" (EXP Slime)

"..."

The clouds wandered around once again, traveling further towards the same direction. An occasional crack of thunder soared its way through my ears.

Not wrong about the transformation skill. 'Loli(star)~Henshin(star)~' where 'Henshin' would translate to transform/transformation...

"...That's right. What do you think I am?"

"Eh—? Um... Y- You're a—D- Dragon...!" (EXP Slime)

She wrongly called me a human the earlier set of dialogue though. I mean—I used to be one just a while ago, I recall somewhat. But not anymore...

"Oh ho... You could tell?"

"Huh——?! I- I thought that was a trick question!!" (EXP Slime)

...

Why the fuck would trick questions come from a newborn Loli like me?? Its an isekai!! Trick questions would come from the 'big boobies dangerous onee-san' instead!! I like pettan!! Waaaahhhh! So offensive...!!

"*cough*...Trick question???"

"It- Its because there's the... the..." (EXP Slime)

"...?"

"Dragon t- thing! in your aura!! I- it's like a dragon! But! I thought it was—Um—" (EXP Slime)

Is THIS what they call true experience? One underhanded slurp of an opponents aura and they could tell what level of battle power they held? Truly amazing. Slime must be ancient with so much martial wisdom.

The terrain flashed golden-white as another serving of thunder roared. The sky was colorless and restless...

"Hey. Slimy."

Repeating the conversation from the beginning, yet throwing in a little twist of the word.

"Nuh—?" (EXP Slime)

"Let's sit down—somewhere."

"Uhm. Okay." (EXP Slime)

Slime and I flew over to another barren hill. Barely any taller than ground level, and has that dirty smell either way. I lowered myself to the ground, and Slime followed. The night came hard.

Really, the mood, the setting here, it wasn't for a big dirty battle. It was for a peaceful negotiation. A hot confession.

"I should have said so at first—but when I first saw you in that dirty cave—"

"Y- Yeah?" (EXP Slime)

I spoke solemnly. With dignity. Without hesitation.

"I had one thought. I was afraid—of Cum, like you."

"...?! Y- Yes. I mean. N- no. What—??" (EXP Slime)

EXP Slime wasn't really blue nor green, unlike the typical slime. EXP Slime was translucent white, and took on whatever color there was around.

Maybe I should gather a bit of information...

"So let's just be friends..."

I held a hand out, awaiting Slime's response.

"Huh? R- Right." (EXP Slime)

...

The world seemed to scream, in either pleasure or anguish. I couldn't tell. It was just dark, and there was some ringing noise.

...

Without much light pollution, the night sky was pretty much clear, other than the roaring thunder, rain, and clouds.

Lightning struck the ground somewhere distant, producing an acute thunderclap sound. Everything seemed to lose a level of color. It was as if the world slowed.

"...So let me see—that thing—like what I said..."

"Huh...? But it- it's a bad thing to do..." (EXP Slime)

"(ilove)😭(cunnycunnycunny)"

I spoke very professionally, evoking a professional response. Just for the occasion, I'm sure.

"F- fine... I'll do it..." (EXP Slime)

...

---

[True Absolute Freezing Ancient EXP Slime (Borealis Gelum-Nepteɪ/EXP Slime)] - [Level 31081/-] - [Age: 1251+ yrs] - [Rating: 5S+]

{[C%@|s==**n**}]

[Health: 7189999/7250000] [Mana: 15093423/15305000]

[STR: 210500] [INT: 32350000 (+6789000)] [DEF: 5500000] [SPD: 135790] [DEX:99800] [LUCK: 200]

[WIS: 1559834 (+650834)] [SPI:780]

[Abilities]:

[Sense Lv10(MAX)] [Detection Lv5] [Mana Sense Lv10(MAX)] [Thermal Energy Absorption Lv10(MAX)] [Shapeshift Lv10(MAX)] [Transform Lv10(MAX)]  [Temperature Reduction Lv99(MAX)] [Mana Recovery Lv10(MAX)] [HP Regeneration Lv10(MAX)] [Hyper-Regen Lv20(MAX)] [MP Regeneration Lv10(MAX)] [Cold Nullification Lv20(MAX)] [M-DMG Nullification Lv1] [P-DMG Nullification Lv2] [Impact Nullification Lv5] [True Slime Lv99(MAX)] [Cushion Lv99(MAX)] [INT-UP Lv99(MAX)] [M-ATK UP Lv99(MAX)] [Extreme Acidity Lv7] [Dehydration Lv90] [Hydration Lv90] [Reflect Lv10(MAX)] [Form Crust Lv60] [True Absorption Lv10(MAX)] [Holy Light Lv3] [Iron Skin Lv1] [Crystallize Lv4] [Skill Synthesis Lv99(MAX)] [Aura Lv9] [Tame Lv1] [(compressed .skill/expand)]

[Extra Abilities]:

[Absolute Water Manipulation X] [Superfluid Body] [Control Dungeon] ['im not sure if i should have put this soul into a random exp slime'] [Ancient] [EXP UP X] ['its not supposed to have that skill?? what,']

[Skills]:

[Water Magic (Major) Lv2] [Ice Magic (Major) Lv8] [Fire Magic (Minor) Lv10(MAX)] [Earth Magic (Mid) Lv5] [Sword Arts Lv10(MAX)] [Magic Arts Lv10(MAX)] [Creation (Minor) Lv9] [Aim Technique (Major) Lv5] [Active MP Recovery Lv99(MAX)] [Water Manipulation Lv99(MAX)] [Liquid Manipulation Lv99(MAX)] [Forcefield Manipulation Lv67] [Specialized Production Lv55] [Magic Manipulation Lv99(MAX)] [Heal Lv2] [Taunt Lv3] [Sword Qi Lv1] [Farm Technique Lv2] [Material Processing Lv2] [Dismantle Lv1]

[Titles]:

[Reincarnator] [Giant Killer CMLXI (+961%)] [——————— II] [Boob Fraud X] [Crowd Controller VII] [EXP Distributor]

---

...

Hhh!! An 'EXP Slime!' That's an upgrade material—! I covered my mouth, now drooling in amazement.

EXP Slime must be stronger than I am. Now this is the part where I should be retreating at once.

Hopping back, cold sweat dripping down my thighs and armpits, eyes out its sockets, tongue stiffened and wet. Screaming, shouting, grabbing my hair, roaring like a dominant beast without its pride.

But she wasn't Cunny. Too bad.

I'll be twitching and writhing, knees latched to the ground, praising our Good Lord; Oh How The Max Level Hero Who Maxed All Skills Reincarnated as a Slime! New Life As The Strongest Slime~Taking The Strongest Skills~!

—

Slime's status panel presents a nutty mix of skills. An ill-advised trail mix, some might call it. Even a 'compressed .skill?' What's that? Does she have some cheat ability?

And the 'Reincarnator' title which I already knew about from her monologue...

Somehow Slime has skills of almost every generic fantasy profession possible. Tank skills, warrior skills, priest skills, wizard skills, swordsman skills, whatever the rare classes are called, farmer skills...

'Sword Qi?' That's a fucking cultivation thing...

I should look over Slime status panel some later time. I could learn a bit about one or two skills...

How do I take screenshots though? There should be several things that I'd have to press.

Hm...

I stood up. Going for a chuuni-pose, with one eye open and my palm over the other. A symbol of sight.

"...?" (EXP Slime)

Nothing happened. Maybe if I do something more sensitive, then—

Like pinching my nonexistent nipple area. Maybe slapping my belly a quick one.

"Wh- What are you doing—?!" (EXP Slime)

"..."

I caught sight of Slime in the corner of my eyes.

"...Trying to take a screenshot—"

I smacked my lips, as the tempest intensified.

Thunderbolts lapsed over and over, slapping the ground with such impact.

Something...

...

Ah—!

Another little beam of thunder ended right through my body—

Striking this little Loli who's just trying to figure something out.

Not like it hurt at all. Not even the skin—

What just—?

That sound—!

Like a certain—

...

Huh—?

...

What—?

...

Everything I could see had lost every form of distinct color.

...

The next bolt of thunder, about to strike, lagged enough that I could follow its descent with my eyes.

The branches standing still as they stopped swaying—

Then a leaf fell, stopping a centimeter before hitting the ground...

...

And slowly—everything stopped.

Nothing else continued their movement.

...

All I could see now were white outlines of the original landscape.

The lines glowed, as did my body.

Everything was so white. So whitewashed that I couldn't see a thing, nor think of anything, but the weeping and wailing of half the tw*tter community.

I was enveloped in an exceedingly luminous coating of light.

Then I saw it. My life flashing before my eyes.

Somehow—I knew that was myself.

In that mirror.

Even though that face was unfamiliar.

A Loli.

So I must face it, then.

...

I was never clothed...

I never had clothes.

...

It was just like it—when I tried [ロリ✭~変身✭~] for the first time ever.

...

Something happened to slip my mind.

...

So I knew what I had to do to make up for it—

—

I released such a catharsis—

'—UUoooooooohhhhhhhhh!!'

I cheered, whopping my fists up the sky...

...

Even though...

There was—

None...

...