This was Bowser’s new plan.

Using his new form, this new female body that felt like a surge of electricity every moment he lived inside of it, he would return to the limelight.

All of those blue feelings, all of that frustration deep inside of him seemed completely gone all of a sudden, as if nothing could possibly hamper him.

He was going to take over the Mushroom Kingdom, and he was going to do it all by himself. No help from his loyal minions, nor his family, nor any other baddies from the rest of the world, and it wasn’t going to be done from any soccer tournament nor any rhythm game dancing. It was just Bowser and his new transformation against the forces of good.

It was like, just by putting on the Super Crown, a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders, even if literally, a heavy weight had been added to his shoulders. Like, damn. He was hot.

This new body would be referred to as a name he just came up with: Bowsetta. Queen of the Koopas, Lordess and Nomad of the Lava Wars.

Of course, “he” was no longer a “he,” he guessed. With the body of a female, “he” had become a “she,” in all but mind. But, since he was still a man on the inside... he would still go by “he”, at least to himself. Whatever that meant.

He continued rummaging in the armory a bit longer to see what could be found. He took the Mecha Fly Guys, just in case they could be useful in combat later, as well as the Reverse Mushrooms for the same reason. Then he took the e-coins in case he wanted to unlock more e-reader levels in the future. But he also found a very interesting item that really brought him a wave of nostalgia-- his old Chomp Shell, a giant mace weapon created from a dead Chain Chomp that he could swing around and that also could be made to bite down if you squeezed the chains just right.

With all of this, he was ready to set off, returning from his self-imposed exile with a villainous tremor and a climactic showdown. He wouldn’t let it be a surprise assault, either; he would take the scenic route, and he would not let anyone stand in his way..

He decided to take a new laugh. “Kakakakaka!” he cackled. This would be the ultimate trademark of his inevitable victories.

Before he let Princess Peach and the Mushroom Kingdom consume his interest, Bowser used to be much more powerful, so much more ruthless. He was the one that led a five-year war to overthrow Morton Koopa. He was the one that wandered the Kalimari Desert and collected all four pieces of the Firestone Amulet, the one who amassed the great Koopa Troop and its Great Generals-- King Bob-omb, King Boo, Whomp King, Goomboss, General Guy and the Crystal King. It took a great many months and many duels to place each of these fine men under his command, but he did so, and with their cooperation, and the power of the False Millenium Star, they made the Dark Land the democratic, free haven it was today.

Bowser decided that he was no longer going to be the snivelling crybaby, the sore loser he once was. This may have been the anger side of Vibe Island’s emotional tampering speaking, but he felt a great urge to destroy everything in his path. Just because he wanted to.

So without further ado, it was time for Bowser to depart from his villa. He would detonate it, of course, with some spare Bob-ombs in the holding cells. To make a statement or whatever. It didn’t matter. And then he would take a boat... No, he would swim all the way to the shore, wherever that took him. And then from there, he would begin his singular march towards the Mushroom Kingdom.

For the man who nearly conquered the universe, for the man that once wielded the Star Rod, nothing was truly impossible if he set his mind to it.

It was time to go and introduce the world... to Bowsette.

Wait.

One more thing.

He probably needed to put some clothes on first.