It was Princess Peach.

And she was wearing a wedding dress.

“Welcome to your humble abode,” Princess Peach said. “We’ve been expecting your return for a very long time.” She giggled.

This... this couldn’t be. All this time with Peach, and she was actually working to take over Bowser’s own kingdom? It didn’t make sense. It had been only a few months since he had lifted her from captivity, and surely she wasn’t involved in whatever succession crises were left in the wake of Bowser’s previous abdication.

Nothing added up.

And yet... she was here.

Everyone, including the thousand soldiers surrounding the tank, bowed down and faced Peach. “Now it is time for us to have our real wedding,” Peach said.

The guards behind Bowser pushed him forwards off the tank and right up to Peach. “I... I... uh, I’m sorry about what happened.”

“It’s all in the past,” Peach said. “I’m sure you didn’t mean it.”

The words stung. “No, but... Princess, I did mean those words. All of them. Everything I said back then was true. And that you were there to hear them... it was important.”

“I barely even remember them,” Peach said.”Let’s forget all about that and get on with our life... together.” She stepped up closer to Bower and pecked him on the cheek.

Bowser pushed her away. “No, I don’t want that! I just want you to understand. Earlier, you almost seemed like you... did... And maybe I’m the one who didn’t before, but after all this time I’m starting to realize... things. I don’t want any of this. I just want--”

“What a buzzkill,” Peach said, her voice deeper and more ghastly.

She disappeared in a poof and in her place appeared... Doopliss, the shapeshifting Duplighost.

Bowser’s face turned from orange to red.

The entire crowd of a thousand soldiers burst into laughter.

This laughter was sustained for five minutes, with Bowser standing there stoically as everyone around him broke down.

If he had his power back he would have crushed them all for defying the King of the Volcanic Atlantis, Leader of Tribe Koopa, High Priest of the Kucherites.

But instead, he stood there and took it.

After most of the chuckles died down, Dooplish transformed into an off-color Koopatrol and patted Bowser on the back, at the rim of his shell. “Come on, now,” he said. “Let’s go meet the REAL Emperor.”

And they headed up a dozen flights of stairs towards the throne room. Bowser felt a pang of anxiety, like this was going to change everything.

As if whoever he would soon meet would be a reveal that would alter Bowser’s world forever, even more than becoming Bowsette for the first time.