Toads all over Koopa’s Tycoon Town were protesting the arrival of Princess Peach for a formal ceremony dedicating a statue of Knot-Wing the Koopa, a philanthropist who had recently passed away. They were all dressed in bright pink clothes and holding signs reading things like, “Koopas Get Out!” and “Mushroom Kingdom for Mushrooms!”

There were chants and there were yells, but things were calm until Peach herself arrived at the scene. She stood to the back of the ceremony, coming forward only at the end to cut the ribbon.

“I only knew Knot-Wing briefly during his time on Earth,” she said from some prepared remarks. “But from what I knew of him, he was a gentle, caring--”

Someone threw a bottle of Courage Soda and it shattered just at Peach’s feet. Several Toad Guardsmen stepped forward and pointed their spears towards the crowd. Peach was quickly escorted back towards a secure Warp Pipe away.

“Gut the traitors!” a Toad shouted.

“Koopallaborators!” another added.

And then with little warning, chaos broke out. Twenty or more Koopas, dressed in all-black and wearing bandanas over their faces, entered the crowd and began accosting the Toad protestors. “Koopas resist!” one of the black-clad figures said just before punching a pink-clad Toad in the face.

They pushed the Toads away, stole their signs, and it quickly escalated into an all-out brawl. The Toad Guardsmen stood in front of all the officials, waiting for a protestor or someone to charge the statue and attack, but it never happened; they were too interested in beating each other up.

Later that night, the statue was blown up by a rogue agent with a spare Bob-omb. The fights would continue throughout the week.

 

---

 

There was an explosion outside, rocking the bunker and making General Guy spill his Zess Tea all over himself.

Oh, what a bother.

But those explosions were a good thing, he noted. It meant that the enemy forces were falling right into his trap and were colliding with the mines floating just above the ground. Knowing the usual way these attacks went, they had just sent in their Hammer Bros, and those forces were being decimated to make way for the more valuable Bullet Bill barrage forces. But General Guy had confidence in his men to take down the cannons before they had been finished setting up. They always did.

Shy Guys may have been bad at social interaction, and they may not have been bright. But they sure as Underwhere were good fighters, and that was a fact.

General Guy was going to pour himself a new cup of tea, because he needed some extra energy while he plotted the rebellion’s next move. They had lost a quarter of their territory in recent days, but they were easily going to get it back so long as they...

The explosions stopped.

What was going on now? General Guy sped from his current position in the bunker and near the main entrance. If the Shy Guys had been defeated, then they would have blown the hatch and sealed this place off from the outside. The only other way in was through an elaborate maze-like system of tunnels only General Guy had the map to, and that would never be breached, not in a million years. So they couldn’t have lost, surely. But the explosions should still have been going on if the battle was still going. No side could have defeated the other that quickly.

He found a viewport that led to the surface and looked around. Lots of Shy Guys laying around. Lots of Hammer Bros, too. And then-- Whoa baby! Giant eye in front of the viewport!

This had glasses on, so it definitely wasn’t a Mr. I ready to burst in and start shooting bubbles all up the place.

It was too bad he couldn’t communicate-- Oh, the figure was backing up-- hey, wasn’t that one of those Koopalings? The one with the green hair and glasses, uh, the one people called the Conqueror? He was thrown in prison a while back but it looked like he got out... What was he doing out here all by himself?

Waving, is what it looked like. He seemed to want to get in. He held up a magic wand and twirling it around the place, trying to get someone’s attention, and it definitely got his.

He went over to the entrance and unsealed the hatch, where he could let new soldiers in if they needed. Any good tactician would do this for another good tactician.

And...

There were a group of Hammer Bros waiting outside the entrance.

That Koopaling came down as fast as he could and reached General Guy, where he was laughing and running... and transforming back into Doopliss. “Man, you guys are so easy!” he shouted. “I keep pulling the same trick and I got the whole darn Shy Guy Army!”

General Guy was at a loss for words.

And he was at a loss for men, and a loss for victories.

He lost.

“I’m gonna keep doing this man,” Doopliss said. “I don’t even care what the pay is. It’s so much fun!”

 

---

 

The Master Poet of Toad Town sat in his normal spot in Club 64, with calm music playing in the midday lull while the bartender cleaned off all the Tasty Tonic glasses in relative silence. It had been a long weekend, but now the weekdays were upon them, and they could get some rest.

“I’m at a loss for words,” the Master Poet said, fiddling with a pencil and looking over an empty notebook. “I can usually do this, but... For some reason, I am coming up with nothing. I can’t even rhyme.”

The bartender looked at him, and then looked over to Chanterelle, the Master Poet’s muse. She hadn’t spoken lately, either. She was usually very soft in her words, and easily lost the will to talk, but what had been happening around the Mushroom Kingdom lately... it was no surprise that she hadn’t sung in a month, either. She hadn’t the willpower.

The bartender himself had been having business troubles lately. With his pro-Koopa, pro-Goomba stances on letting patrons of any creed, any background enter Club 64, many Toads had called for a boycott. It was hurting business and the weekdays often saw no patrons other than the regulars.

These three were a sad sack of mushrooms, it seemed like. Toad Town was a lot like that these days.

And then the front door swung open, with a Toad in pink and bright sunglasses bursting in. He sauntered over to the bar and shook the bartender’s hand. “Zip Toad, at your service,” he said. He was the award-winning actor behind such hits as The Night is Short, Walk on Toad , and The Toad Who Leapt Through Toad . What was he doing... here?

“Um, hello,” said the Bartender.

“I’m here to make Toad Town great again,” Zip Toad said. “By making a movie!”

“Uhh...”

“And I need your permission to shoot here,” he added. “It’s going to be a movie all about the wonders of Toads and how Toad pride is a GOOD thing, not a bad thing, despite what the K-- despite what some people may say. Toads matter too, you know? Everyone does!”

This certainly sounded a bit...

“I’ll rent out the entire club for three nights, and buy your entire drink stock. That sound okay? I’m my own producer, my own director, and surprisingly my own composer, believe it or not. You in?”

The Master Poet stopped. “Do you still need a writer?” he asked.

“Dude, you are welcome to give a rewrite a shot. I’ve got a draft ready but it definitely needs some punching up.” Zip Toad flashed a smile. “And this pretty lady over here...”

“She sings,” the bartender said.

“We can use her, for sure,” he said. “I’m so excited about this. We’re making this happen.”

“What’s the movie... called?” the bartender asked.

“Nothing official yet,” Zip Toad said. “But I like The Toad of a Nation .”

 

---

 

Dry Bones sat in a prison cell in a deep floor of the Koopa Bros fortress, just like he had for the past fifteen years. He was honestly thinking they might have forgotten he existed, that his prison sentence would be forever because they assumed a reanimated pile of bones was somehow dead just because it wasn’t moving anymore. No, you anti-undead bigots, Dry Boneses could survive without moving unlike you stupid fleshies... Oh, who was he kidding? He was never getting out of here. His sentence was supposed to be eight years

All he did was kidnap a Yoshi hatchling and try to sell it on the black market... three years was enough, surely.

But seeing as he was in basement floor thirty of a prison whose spaces hadn’t filled past floor twenty-three in years, he doubted anyone even remembered he existed. He just wished he could escape himself!

No need to eat, sleep, drink... just lay here until someone showed up.

Or... if something was rumbling deep beneath the ground...

A large drill emerged and there was a tank filled with Monty Mole soldiers hopping out and assuming positions. Dry Bones formed and bowed to the commander that stepped out, a Frog.

“Sir...”

“Are we in the Koopa Bros Prison?” the Frog asked. She looked at the Dry Bones with great interest.

“Yes, yes you are,” he said.

“Good. Then it is time for us to begin... a jail break.”