Ahhhhhhhhhhh.... Shiiiitt........

Bowsette wrapped some bed sheets around herself and adjusted her choker with her free hand. It was a lot tighter than she realized it should have been.

Her other hand, of course, was currently wrapped around Mario as the man rest himself on Bowsette’s body.

This was the biggest screw-up she’d been in in a while. No pun intended. But surprisingly... it felt pretty nice. Which was weird.

She took a few moments to catch her breath and process what had just happened, and she could barely even remember what led up to all of this.

They were heading back to their hotel rooms, and then she noticed Mario heading back into her room without Goombella, and then... What the hell was she thinking?!

Agh, no... what was Peach going to think if she found out that Bowsette and Mario had... Bowsette’s life was ruined.

And worst of all, she felt pretty comfortable about it, too. How could she be relaxing at a time like this?!

“Oh, Mario, what did we do...”

“Each other,” Mario muttered.

“Oh yeah, right.”

Well, they were currently in the midst of cuddling, and Bowsette was really enjoying it, so she might as well begin the pillow talk, something she was never quite good at because her conversations inevitably got a lot more vulnerable than her partners were willing to put up with. She wouldn’t let that happen this time.

“Am I a failure, Mario?” Bowsette asked.

Oh well. Here it goes.

“What’s a failure?” Mario asked.

“I mean, maybe a failure is... the dictionary definition is like, a picture of me. I’ve never accomplished anything in my life that hasn’t ended up hurting someone else somewhere along the lines. My quest to fulfill myself has engulfed the entire continent in strife and war and now I have to start a war just to try and end it. Isn’t that crazy?”

“That’s life.”

“That’s life for me, at least,” she said. She began rubbing Mario’s back, which had a weird hairiness to it. “For you, you always win. You always get the girl, or girls in many cases. You get to eat CAKE. You’re a hero. The things I do always mess everything up, but the things you do just fix them.

“Not-a true, Bowsette.”

“Eh? What do you mean?”

Mario scooted up his body a bit and kissed Bowsette while holding her shoulders. “Sometimes I make things worse too. Every time I defeat you, I make you unhappy. Someone always gets hurt, all the time.” His head disappeared under the covers.

“But I’m the bad guy... Whoa there Mario, not again so soo-- Oh, Mario...” She started breathing more heavily again. “Who knew you ever knew how to... treat a lady?”

“I had to learn or else all that rescuing kidnapped women would have been for nothing.”

“Well, get in here and rescue me again,” Bowsette said.

He did.

And after that, Bowsette continued her weirdly confessional conversation. “What I mean to say is.... We’re rivals. Hurting each other is the whole goal.”

“But... we’re not so different, you and I.”

“I guess not... So you don’t always feel like you were the ultimate hero for everything?”

“No, I do,” Mario said. “I just have to look past all the things that maybe I caused that weren’t my fault. If I save the Battle Belt Galaxy, maybe some Broodals will move in and take it over a week later because I blew up all the cannons. But that doesn’t mean it was my fault. I did what I thought was right, and that was enough.”

“So when I took over the Mushroom Kingdom...”

“That one was probably pretty stupid. But maybe the Mushroom Kingdom needed a little push. It was never as stable as it looked.”

“That’s what Peach was worried about...”

“Well, we’re not Peach, are we? We can let her worry about that. Mario leaned in for another kiss, but Bowsette rebuffe dhim.

“Is that why we... Because I look like Peach now? Are you okay that I’m not... like her in the same way?”

“Bowsette, I’ve met a lot of different women from all different types of backgrounds. Every one of them has the same fear. ‘What if I’m not as good as the rest?’ And you’re no different. But I will treat you the same way I’ll treat any woman. With respect.”

“Does that mean you love me? Because I don’t love you. I’m sorry.”

“Nah. Mario doesn’t do love.”

“Heartbroken by Peach rebuffing us both?”

“Nah, that was just to get back at you.”

“I DID try to kill you.”

They kissed a few more times after that.

“I do have to ask, though...” Bowsette began. “Are we still... cool?”

“Are we still enemies and rivals? Yeah, don’t worry,” Mario said. “We won’t let this get in the way of fighting each other at every chance we get. After you get Dark Land back, we can go back to normal and it’ll all work out. I’m glad we got this out of the way now, though, huh?”

“Yeah...”

Bowsette wasn’t sure about any of that. She wasn’t sure what would happen after they defeated Morton Koopa and she returned to the throne of Bowser’s Kingdom (which she would immediately decide to rename the moment she gained back control, I mean come on). She wasn’t sure she WANTED things to go back to normal in the same way, especially not that she had now embraced herself as the woman she maybe always was on the inside.

But she was glad Mario felt that way, at least.

This night was the most Bowsette had ever heard Mario talk in her decades of life knowing him. And it would be the most she would ever hear. But most importantly, it made Bowsette realize one thing: she was kinda sexually frustrated before. She was a lot more okay now.

At least until she had to face Peach in the morning.