“No way, me?”

“Well, yes! Why not?”

I shook my head in disbelief. Before me stood a little girl radiating a white light. She had long curly hair that reached all the way down to her ankles, and an ornate Victorian like dress was lavishly ornamented with golden highlights that did the same, though she wasn't very tall. She looked like a cosplayer, really. Despite all odds, it seemed, this cosplayer child was offering for me to be a fantasy hero.

“What are we waiting for, let's do this!” I pumped my fists in the air momentarily forgetting that I was in fact completely naked. By no fault of my own, excitement was getting to me. Who am I kidding, in a situation like this, no one would be calm, right? My hands shot back down to cover my dick. I looked away from the little girl who was calling herself a goddess.

“Don't worry! I couldn't see your boy parts!” she said, smiling.

I should probably feel bad about having been naked when she summoned me in the first place but this is still weird. 

“Anyway,” She said immediately dismissing that, “I had an idea for a cool hero power so it's really nice you've been summoned now. Here you go!”

With a flick of her wrist, the little girl magiced a pocket watch out of thin air. She handed this to me and I took it, but it really didn't have anywhere to go than my hand. I looked at it but it seemed to be a normal analog clock even if it was very, very nice.

“That's the perfect clock. It will never be off even a little. It's not really all that special besides that. See, I'm gonna make it so when you go to the world you reset at midnight so you don't have to worry about dying or anything!”

With this she made a peace sign on her forehead. 

 I can imagine a lot of ways to abuse it. Cheats are obvious go-tos for isekais. 

“So, yeah, the clock is so you know when it happens and I made it so everything inside you resets too so you can't be poisoned or anything. Think about it as you are like a little-big time warp.”

I clutched the clock. 

“I don't know what to say, really, thank you for this! This is a dream every guy like me would want!”

“Is it really that good? Hmm! I'm glad you're happy, Arthur! Please make sure you do the best hero stuff you can, I want to show you to my friends! They'll be so impressed.”

She patted my arm and the scenery changed in a slow fade like a cloud disappearing from around me. 

Wait…

Wait- Hey, goddess girl?

“Don't I get a transformation or something? I can't be a hero like this!” 

She giggled in the mist and faded entirely, leaving a naked me shouting at nothing alone in a forest I couldn't possibly recognize.

“HEY!”

 

My name is Arthur Callon and I’m a loser. I’m what most people would call a loser at least. If you picture a loser- A 24 year old fatass living alone spending all his extra barely over minimum wage job money on junk food, and video games. I watch anime too much, I sleep all day if I'm not working, I only talk to people on the internet, and I obviously have never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl. Seeing how losers aren't exactly heroic, how the hell am I standing here buck naked in this forest after just talking to a god?

 

I stepped forward, but onto a twig with my bare feet so I stepped back again. Seriously, what now?

A cold wave ran over me, probably just the wind, as I realized that even if I had just received a power of some sort that I was still screwed right now. 

So, I'm in a video game. Right. That's what Isekai are.

In front of my face a note popped out of nowhere. The pure white strip of paper fluttered down into my hand.

“This is pretty much a video game~ I really like video games too~”-A

I read this out loud.

Spot on! That's a little too close to what I thought was happening. Am I sure this isn't a dream? So the goddess is ‘A’ huh? Being the weeb that I am I automatically went to Amateritsu but that couldn't have been it. I'm an American after all. Why would a Japanese goddess go all the way across the world for a filthy idiot like myself? There are plenty of those anywhere you look. Even looking at this girl it's obvious she's racially from somewhere in the west. Well, she is a goddess, does that even matter? 

The cold wind brought me back into reality once more. 

 

“Ah- Info?” A box like a hologram appeared in front of me.

 

Arthur Callon

Lvl: 3

(Summoned Hero)

 

Health: 239/250

Stamina: 145/300

Magic Power 5000/5000

Luck: 1,900,000,000

 

Strength: 10

Agility: 4

Constitution: 15

Intelligence: 11

 

So, that sort of stereotypical set up does work. On the other hand, what the hell is up with that luck stat?! 1.9 billion?! No matter how little I know about it, it's so high above the other ones there's no way that's normal. 

Maybe that has something to do with my being here at all… Somehow looking at that I have a pit in my stomach wishing I'd known I was this lucky earlier, if this was here all along. 

But… why the hell am I 11 points down on health? Did I do something wrong?

 

“Let's see, status maybe?” A second screen suddenly appears on top of the first one.

 

Mild Food Poisoning 

Bad status effect: 1 hours 36 minutes remaining

-1 Health per hour.

 

Severe Sleep Deprivation

Bad status effect: present until sleep is achieved

×2 stamina consumption

×5 magic consumption 

Drowsiness Debuff

 

Chilled 

Bad status effect: present until body temperature increases

Effect worsens to Cold: 30 mins

 

Obesity

Bad status effect: present until body fat content decreases

×3 stamina consumption.

-5 health per day.

 

Oh, well. Ok, I guess… 

That's how it's gonna be, is it? That's fair. It's not fair but it's all my fault so I guess that makes it fair in a way.

I rubbed my arms, once again noticing it was, in fact, cold. 

The first thing seems to be… find people, right? 

I don't need food because I just ate and water is… I probably don't need to drink at all, do I? I don't need to eat either. That's strange, but it's still just an assumption. Other than that in a situation like this I’d be screwed, especially someone like me. Besides that, the task that I was given by that all powerful “A” goddess was “become a hero” and I can’t exactly be heroic all on my own. It’s not as if I’d ever want to go back.