hastalavista

Eventually, after 50k words, I reached the first page of trending... Really thank you, you are amazing.

Enjoy!

I loved the smiles the orphans gave when I entered the house. I was told that I was found at the door of the orphanage, and they didn't lie. I was a strange person, recalling things I shouldn't have recalled and having memorized faces I shouldn't have memorized, what else should I be called?

When I entered the Zee house I was three, and my head remembered who his mom was and what she looked like. Zee’s house was big and had many stories, by the age of five I knew many of the stories that were recycled in the house… About children who were once in this house and when they got adopted, they disappeared from existence…

I didn't think it was strange and was thinking the same… Because I was different.

Because I recalled even the last days I was inside her belly I grew much different. I grew shrewder than others and understood other people well.

That's why I understood why all the children who got adopted never came back… The house of orphans was strange, no, it might have been very normal and I was the strange person.

Envy and jealousy were everywhere, hatred dusted around as the children cleaned the old shelves, and bullying was heard amidst the nights when I tried so desperately to sleep…

Jealousy was everywhere. You are doomed if you are praised by the sisters…

The bad kid will live a better life, the good kid will grow bullied. At first, when I was good, I got no food. If I didn't hide my lunch and dinner for my bullies, I would sleep on the ground, with two cups of ice-cold water pouring on me…

I wanted to get out as soon as possible. Sleeping in the same place as those disgusting faces was getting me into toilets every night…

I grew adapted to the place, I had a few friends that I didn't love, and they didn't as well… we were friends so we wouldn't be eaten… So we would look strong.

I wished to get older as soon as possible, I remembered her face so I wanted to get to her as soon as possible, so I could kill her and ease my tiredness and anger.

I eventually knew that she was a prostitute, and eventually knew that most of the children here were of such origins…

We were similar… But we didn't share any pleasant feelings with each other. I wished for their death as soon as possible and I knew they wished for mine as well.

But I was different, I had nothing to run after. They had the priestesses to crawl after, they were desperate for love, that was the source of jealousy but also the reason to live for them… They were children after all…

But I wasn't… I was strong and didn't have any weakness, in a few years I will runaway, work in any restaurant or store, and build myself slowly…

I had decided to grow and live a normal life, if possible having a highschool certificate, and later, after gathering enough money, I will attend a normal college, know a normal guy and make a normal family…

I will share true love. Because I had witnessed what was false I knew what was true… I believed I knew.

And as I chose my dream, goal, and ambition… He appeared.

He was three when I was thirteen And as a person who had enough hatred for that woman to memorize all of her expressions and colors… I knew better than any person, that that boy was my brother.

When I noticed that he was being introduced to other children, he was normal, he couldn't pronounce all the words and was loved by a few priestesses…

I didn't take his side, I had a dream to look for, living for myself was hard enough, I couldn't live for someone else…

and I ignored him until he became five, the priestesses took our measurements and he was under normal weight by five kilos…

His body was skin on bone and his eyes didn't look alive… That was when I noticed, my little brother was a good boy… good enough to get bullied…

I remember that day, when I stared blankly at my rice porridge, it was the hardest decision to take. I was hungry, we ate twice a day and we extremely lacked protein… but…

but…

I ate twice a day while he ate the leftovers for at least months…

I poured my porridge into a paper bag and hid it under my bed… At night I sneaked out to his room, but before I could open the door, it was opened…

And my little brother was kicked out of the room, all of his body soaked with ice-cold water…

My little brother was sobbing, but his voice was so quiet that even I couldn't hear it until I sat beside him.

I gave him the bag, and asked him about his days, I told him to study, but not to answer the questions the sisters were giving. I told him to clean his dishes, but not thoroughly and it would be better if he harassed one of the sisters and got punished for that… He was still a child so he followed my orders…

I began giving him half of my foods and in a few years, I noticed that I began giving him all of my food and only ate a quarter a meal every day…

By that time I was sixteen, my little brother's eyes returned to life so it was very worth it… I grew adapted to this amount of food and refused all the adopters that chose me…

At sixteen I was able to leave the orphanage after school and return before 8 P.M.

That was when I began to look for work, and eventually worked for a good old woman in a library, I cleaned the library every day, arranged the books and asked people to be quiet.

And when I got my first salary, I went to a cheap restaurant and asked for two dishes, at night I ate with my brother, half a dish was more than I needed and the old woman in the library was kind enough to feed me a good dinner every night.

Looking at my little brother growing healthy was enough of a life…

But that wasn't enough, I had to work more, I had to work harder, I asked the old woman for more intense jobs and got better payments. I had to collect enough money for a small room and at least two upfront years for my little brother to study in a real school…

I was so obsessed with my little brother that I forgot what I wanted, I gave up high school studies when I was seventeen and worked morning and night in different jobs…

But I was still far behind what I needed for a good life for my little brother, even though I had three jobs the money weren't enough to support an independent life with him. Studying fees weren't free for adopted orphans and I wasn't planning on getting him a bad room… I understood that he needed to at least brag with his friends, I had also to give him some gifts from time to time…

It hurt…

It really hurt…

My life, I was useless, I spent my nights whining in misery unable to achieve the life I wanted him to live. I no more thought of my dreams, I no more wished for them, my dream became his smile, I even forgot about that woman and why I hated her…

Everything was irrelevant, everything lost its importance… My life became for him, and I was really satisfied with that… But… I wasn't a good family for him, I was lacking, I didn't have enough money and before I knew it I was mentally broken on my way to work, sitting on the pavement with my eyes flooding…

At that time, an old man came…

"You look young and beautiful, even though you are skinny, your face is a top tier..."

The old man offered me money for an hour’s job… 

I widened my eyes to the amount I was offered, three hours with the old man would be equal to the monthly payment of my three jobs together…

The old man looked kind, he didn't push me as well… but the money was really enough to tempt anyone who was in my place…

I excused that trash of a mother for the first time, but I swore not to be like her. I swore that as soon as I get enough money I will drop these offers and return to a quiet life with my brother.

They were three hours, my first time went for an old man… The old man asked me for another round in a few days and I agreed, he asked me for my number but I had no phone… His smile looked kind and his money was true and new…

When we met again in a few days he gifted me a phone, and gave me the same amount of money, he then asked me to have a round with his friend…

They told me that it was better for me to keep the circle of clients small, about four or five and they would always give me as much as I wanted…

It was an irresistible offer.

And I went along… For two years…

I got enough money for a good life, and when I graduated from the orphanage I rented a modest flat in a cheap neighborhood, completed the paper works and went back to my orphanage to adopt my little brother…

My little brother was nine at that time… And the smile on his face was irresistible and amazing…

But that was just the start of my real life… The day when I understood what kind of world I was living in, came when I was kidnapped.